The document provides guidance on making difficult work conversations easier, emphasizing the importance of addressing anxiety and incorrect assumptions. It outlines strategies for effective communication, such as directness, ownership of the message, and self-reflection on motivations for delaying conversations. Additionally, it encourages practicing communication skills to enhance comfort and effectiveness in delivering feedback.

1. How to make difficult work
conversations less difficult
Helping organisations bring out the best in their talent
Helping individuals make positive and rewarding career choices
www.pinpoint.ie
Prepared by John Deely BA MSc
Occupational Psychologist with Pinpoint.

2. ABOUT PINPOINT
 Pinpoint – occupational psychologists and career
management specialists
 Key Services:
 Coaching talent in organisations especially new
managers and teams working under pressure
 Career direction and development for individuals off
their own bat or as part of a redundancy programme
 Profiling – psychometric testing of talent

3. Firstly, Gain Perspective

4. The Biggest Barrier
 One of the biggest barriers
for having difficult
conversations is anxiety
caused by incorrect
assumptions.
 Inner speech (or self talk)
plays a central role in
human consciousness.
 A key concept in the study
of optimism, depression,
healthy marriages.

5. Let go feelings & Provide Clarity

6. Avoid Avoidance
 “Can’t do it today, too
busy”
 “I’ll catch it at the
performance review”
 “Maybe someone else will
tell them”
 “Their work was good
today, so maybe it is ok”
 “I don’t want to upset the
apple cart”
 “I can’t believe they could
not be aware they are
doing a bad job”

7. Questions to challenge yourself
 How will I be helping
them?
 Why am I delaying this?
 Will delaying telling them
about this problem make it
go away?
 Would I like to know how I
was doing?
 What am I assuming their
reaction will be?

8. Give room to explore
Avoid or don’t rush into
 Advising, Giving Solutions
 “Why don’t you...”
 Ordering, Directing
 “You have to...”
 Preaching, Moralising
 “You’d better not...”
 Warning, Threatening
 “You ought to...”
 Evaluating, Blaming
 “You’re wrong...”
 Interpreting, Diagnosing
 “You need to...”

9. Delivering the message
 Be direct about the current
and desired state
 Own the message. Use “I”
 Get to the point, don’t mix
it in with other things.
 Sensitive
 Let’s not pretend it will be
easy
 Practice this
communication
 Like a muscle, it will
develop.

10. Questions & Handouts