The document outlines a workshop led by Jeff Kosciejew, focusing on leadership, team dynamics, and communication. It includes various activities designed for participants to share frustrating work situations, practice active listening, and reflect on their communication styles. Participants engage in role-playing exercises to enhance their problem-solving skills and understanding of how they are perceived by others.

1. Jeff Kosciejew
Agile Catalyst & Magician, Manulife
kosciejew@gmail.com
@kosciejew
How do you lead?

2. How do you lead?
Built upon Leaders’ Actions Speak but Their Talk
Matters articles & workshop by David Verble
http://www.verbleworthverble.com/our-team/david-verble-m-s/
http://www.lean-transform.com/our-partners/david-verble/

3. Possible Outcomes Today
• Something you can apply with your own
teams and colleagues to enhance current
team dynamics & communication
• Opportunity to identify where you are now
• Better understanding of your own style
• Awareness of how others see you

4. Today’s Workshop Format
• Pair listening activity
• Triad activity
• Coding of statements
• Debrief of triad activity
• Discussion

5. Activity 1 – Round 1
• Organize yourselves into pairs
• Think of a work situation that’s frustrating
• Try not to focus on the nature of the
situation & not the specific people in it (as
much as possible)

6. Activity 1 – Round 1
• Determine who will tell their story first
• The Listener can ask questions and talk
about the story that is being told, but
shouldn’t speak so often that it keeps the
Story Teller from sharing and completing
their story

7. Activity 1 – Round 1
• You now have five minutes to share this
situation with the other person
5 4 3 2 1 0

8. Activity 1 – Round 1
• Listener, tell the Story Teller:
–what you heard about the situation,
–what they think and feel about it, and
–why they think and feel that way
3 2 1 0

9. Activity 1 – Round 1
• Story Teller:
–Complete the checklist “Was I heard” to
provide feedback to your Listener
–Check marks are fine
(but additional comments are welcome)

10. Activity 1 – Round 1
• Story Teller:
–Complete the checklist “Was I heard” to
provide feedback to your Listener
–Check marks are fine
(but additional comments are welcome)
• DO NOT DEBRIEF!

11. Activity 1 – Round 2
• Now, switch roles
• Story teller  Listener
• Listener  Story teller

12. Activity 1 – Round 2
• New Story Teller:
–Think of a work situation that’s frustrating
–Try not to focus on the nature of the situation
& not the specific people in it (as much as
possible)

13. Activity 1 – Round 2
• The new Listener can ask questions and
talk about the story that is being told, but
shouldn’t speak so often that it keeps the
Story Teller from sharing and completing
their story

14. Activity 1 – Round 2
• You now have five minutes to share this
situation with the other person
5 4 3 2 1 0

15. Activity 1 – Round 2
• Listener, tell the Story Teller:
–what you heard about the situation,
–what they think and feel about it, and
–why they think and feel that way
3 2 1 0

16. Activity 1 – Round 2
• Story Teller:
–Complete the checklist “Was I heard” to
provide feedback to your Listener
–Check marks are fine
(but additional comments are welcome)

17. Activity 1 – Round 2
• Story Teller:
–Complete the checklist “Was I heard” to
provide feedback to your Listener
–Check marks are fine
(but additional comments are welcome)
• DO NOT DEBRIEF!

18. Activity 1 – Round 3
• Exchange surveys without discussion
• Read and reflect on your survey
• Do not ask your listener to explain or
defend
• Simply accept it as their experience

19. Activity 1 - Considerations
• When dealing with others who you want to
help develop a problem solving mindset, you
may want to restrain the impulse to show what
you know
• Consider asking questions that you don’t think
you already have the answers to
• Allow your natural curiosity to lead you to try to
learn what the other thinks

20. Activity 1

21. Activity 2
• Organize yourself into groups of three
• Determine who will start in each of the
following roles:
– Observer
– Manager / Coach
– Problem Owner
Don’t worry, we’ll do this three times…
You’ll have a chance to experience each role

22. Activity 2
• Problem Owner:
– Talk about a real problem/situation in your professional life
• Manager/Coach:
– Talk about the problem with the Problem Owner as you
normally would; don’t do anything that doesn’t come
naturally to you
• Observer:
– Record the first 10-15 thing the Manager/Coach says in the
discussion verbatim in the Observation Log provided

23. Activity 2
• When time is called:
–There is no debrief
–Rotate roles, and
–Start the next round
Observer
Problem
Owner
Manager
or Coach

24. 5 4 3 2 1 0
Observer
Problem
Owner
Manager
or Coach
Round 1

25. Observer
Problem
Owner
Manager
or Coach
Round 1
5 4 3 2 1 0

26. Observer
Problem
Owner
Manager
or Coach
5 4 3 2 1 0
Round 2

27. Observer
Problem
Owner
Manager
or Coach
5 4 3 2 1 0
Round 3

28. Activity 2
• Observers:
–Give the Observation Log you completed to
the Manager/Coach you observed
• Manager/Coach:
–Read the statements/questions/comments
that you made

29. Coding
• If the item is a “Tell”:
–Code it using “TS”
• If the item is a “Question”:
–Code it using “Q”

30. Coding Questions
• If the item is a “Tell” masquerading as a
“Question”:
–Add the coding “TS”
• If the “Question” is a Leading Question:
–Add the coding “L”

31. Coding Questions
• If it is an Open Ended question:
–Add the code “O”
• If it is a Closed Ended question:
–Add the code “C”

32. Coding Questions
• If the Question is based on what you think,
want to suggest, or assume about the situation:
– add “MT” to the coding (as in: My Thinking)
• If the Question is based on what the other
person knows, thinks, or feels:
– add “HT” to the (as in: His/Her Thinking)

33. Coding Summary
Code Description
TS Tell
Q TS Tell masquerading as a question
Q L Leading Question
Q O MT Open-ended question which reflect my thinking
Q C MT Closed-ended questions which reflect my thinking
Q O HT Open-ended question which reflect their thinking
Q C HT Closed-ended questions which reflect their thinking

34. To consider…
• Were your items mostly Asking or Telling?
• Were your questions mostly Open, Closed, or
Leading?
• Were your questions based mostly on what you
were thinking, or what you wanted to learn about
what the other person knows & was thinking?
• Did you mostly confirm things you already knew or
thought, or did you learn things you did not know?

35. Activity 1

36. Jeff Kosciejew
Agile Catalyst & Magician, Manulife
kosciejew@gmail.com
@kosciejew
How do you lead?

37. Jeff Kosciejew
Agile Catalyst & Magician, Manulife
kosciejew@gmail.com
@kosciejew
How do you lead?