Home making and planning

Home
MAKING
and
PLANNING
By
Venerable Dr I. U. Ibeme
Website: www.scribd.com/ifeogo

HOME MAKING AND PLANNING
►Among other things, “HOME” means a dwelling or a
household of parents and their offspring/dependants.
►So in this context, the HOME is the HOUSEHOLD IN ITS
DWELLING.
►Sustaining the home requires adequate understanding of,
and diligent PLANNING on who, what, when and how to
PROVIDE for the home and MANAGE the home for the good
of the household and the glory of God.

►Therefore HOME MAKING AND PLANNING is about
PLANNED MANAGEMENT OF THE HOUSEHOLD IN ITS
DWELLING for purposeful parental CARE, COACHING
and CENSORSHIP of their offspring/dependants.
►HOME MAKING AND PLANNING not only ensures goodly
concord, comfort and confidence toward healthy, happy
and hearty family (whether young or aged), but also
inculcates godly competence, conscience and
commitment toward resourceful, respectable and
responsible maturity of offspring/dependants.

►The home or household is a divine institution
designed for lifelong marriage of man and wife (Gen
2:22-25) in order that godly parents would
reproduce to MULTIPLY godly offspring after their
kind in sustainable homes (Gen 1:26-27; Mal 2:15-
16), by which humanity would REPLENISH, SUBDUE
and DOMINATE the earth for God’s glory (Gen 1:28-
29).

►God’s purpose for the home comes about through strategic
combination of parental PROVISION, PROTECTION,
GUIDANCE, EDUCATION, and ACCULTURATION to avail
their offspring and dependants with necessary
 learnings and activities,
 instruction and recreation,
 nutrition and healthcare,
 experiment and exploits,
 discipleship and discipline,
 demonstration and delegation,
 mentoring and motivation.

1Th 2:7-12
► (7) ... Instead, we were gentle among you, LIKE A NURSING MOTHER
tenderly caring for her own children.
► (8) We cared so deeply for you that we were determined to share
with you not only the gospel of God but our very lives. That is how
dear you were to us.
► (9) You remember, brothers, our labor and toil. We worked night and
day so that we would not become a burden to any of you while we
proclaimed the gospel of God to you.
► (10) You and God are witnesses of how pure, honest, and blameless
our conduct was among you who believe.
► (11) You know very well that we treated each of you THE WAY A
FATHER TREATS his children.
► (12) We comforted and encouraged you, urging you to live in a
manner worthy of the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

Heb 12:7-11
► (7) If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons;
for what son is he whom the father chastens not?
► (8) But if you be without chastisement, of which all are
partakers, then are you illegitimate children, and not sons.
► (9) Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh who corrected
us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in
subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
► (10) For they verily for a few days chastened us AFTER THEIR
OWN PLEASURE; but he FOR OUR PROFIT, that we might be
partakers of his holiness.
► (11) Now no chastening for the present seems to be joyous, but
grievous: nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of
righteousness unto them who are trained by it.

►Rural societies in ancient times were well organized for family
and community effectiveness, such that the provision from
external sources was called BREADWINNING while the
management of household resources is called HOMEMAKING.
►Rural societies lived mainly on resources earned from roles
that are not safely done with baby in the womb or on the
back, which roles are therefore mostly done by men, such as:
clearing and tilling the ground for farming, hunting animals
for meat, cargo and distance trading and war looting.

►Even in ancient urban societies, families lived on
money earned from engagement in trading and
employment in artisan workshops, the military,
security units, government offices, schools, churches,
banks and businesses.
►These BREADWINNING jobs were mainly done by men
because they exposed to hazards and rigors which are
not safe or convenient for pregnant women and
suckling babies.

►Conversely, since HOMEMAKING roles are safer and more
gradual to be done while nursing infants, women who
needed to be mostly at home for childbearing and nursing
took up most of homemaking roles.
►Traditionally, homemaking roles included: housekeeping,
cuisine, cleaning, fabric and clothes making, fetching of
water, care of household gardens and feeding of household
animals, gathering of grains, fruits and vegetables,
foodstuff trading, dispensing of rations from household
resources.

►Most of these traditional homemaking roles persist in urban
societies, where they further include homeschooling,
shopping and use of household appliances.
►Urbanization has been there since the city states of ancient
times. However, in modern urban societies, due to
availability of innovative household services, innovation in
the academia, technological advancement in equipment,
transportation and telecommunication, women of
childbearing age could now conveniently combine
homemaking roles with those of breadwinning.

►Men could also do enough breadwinning by working from
home. This has confused the age-old breadwinner-
homemaker roles, leaving the home unmanaged and
unplanned.
►Urban societies also bring serious challenges against family
values and parental roles because it gives leverage to
certain businesses and advertisements that exploit human
tendencies for recreation through vice, especially those of
profligacy, fun seeking and chambering.

►In recent times this challenge has increased through
psychedelic drug-use combined with technologically
enhanced amusement and entertainment services.
►Today, urbanization has surged globally such that city
culture has greatly invaded and eroded rural culture.
►Since the second half of the 20th century postmodern
countercultural movement with its philosophy of
existentialist individualism and libertine liberalism has arisen
to oppose established family values and morals.

►These new cultural movements disguise as if they are
fighting for the liberty and rights of the individual but are
detrimental to sanity and sanctity of the society.
►These LAST DAYS, family values are fast being overthrown
by these so-called liberation movements which promote and
even legalize godless POSTMODERN CULTURAL TRENDS
such as feminism, divorce, sexual freedom, cohabitation,
single-parenting, abortion, homosexuality, prodigality,
parental disobedience, atheism, amoralism and hedonism.

Last Days Counterculture on the Rise
2Tim 3:1-5
► (1) You must realize, however, that in the last days difficult times
will come.
► (2) People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful,
arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
► (3) unfeeling, uncooperative, slanderous, degenerate, brutal, hateful of
what is good,
► (4) traitors, reckless, conceited, and lovers of pleasure rather than
lovers of God.
► (5) They will hold to an outward form of godliness but deny its
power. Stay away from such people.
Tit 1:16
► (16) They claim to know God, but they deny him by their actions.
They are detestable, disobedient, and disqualified to do anything good.

►The importance of PROPER PLANNING for effective
homemaking and breadwinning has been grossly
overlooked such that most parents run their homes by
default without any plan or programme.
►Today’s individualistic trends promote the culture of SELF-
CENTEREDNESS and LAISSEZ-FAIRE which has made many
to marry only for selfish love and pleasure but not for
selfless roles and responsibilities.
►The result is that the family as instituted by God is fast
fading away, except the Church does something to stem the
perilous tide.

► Respectable and responsible civility is fast vanishing from the
family and the society because many marry and become parents
without readiness for parental responsibilities and without
meaningful idea of what parental home management is really
about.
► The result is that childish and selfish adults, ill-prepared for (and
even opposed to) parenting and homemaking are miseducating
their children and mismanaging their homes and our society.
► Those that make any plan may only be about names they would
enjoy to call their children and enjoyment they dream to RELISH
from their spouses and society – no RESPONSIBILITIES!

►Parental responsibilities are not merely about earning
income to meet needs and cooking food to eat.
►Adult responsibilities also include thoughtful knowledge and
understanding about formidable principles of strategic
parental discipleship and discipline.
►Inevitably, parental values and attitudes beget offspring
values and attitudes.
►So also, societal (ethnic, cultural, community) values and
attitudes beget generational values and attitudes.

►Parents should be aware that COMMON LEVEL of personal and
societal values and attitudes are determined basically by
 PASSIONATE reactions,
 PLEASURABLE relishes and
 PEER-PRESSURE responses.
►Personal and societal values of HIGHER QUALITY which should
be acquired and inculcated in descendants and dependants
should be those developed and derived from
 PRINCIPLED responsibility and
 PIOUS reverence.

Inculcating Pious Reverence
1Sam 3:11-14 (GNB)
►(11) The LORD said to him, "Some day I am going to do
something to the people of Israel that is so terrible that
everyone who hears about it will be stunned.
►(12) On that day I will carry out all my threats against Eli's
family, from beginning to end.
►(13) I have already told him that I am going to punish his
family forever because his sons have spoken evil things
against me. Eli knew they were doing this, but he did not
stop them.
►(14) So I solemnly declare to the family of Eli that no
sacrifice or offering will ever be able to remove the
consequences of this terrible sin."

1Sam 2:12, 17, 22-25 (KJV2000)
► (12) Now the sons of Eli were sons of Belial; they knew not the LORD.
► (17) Therefore the sin of the young men was very great before the
LORD: for men abhorred the offering of the LORD.
► (22) Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all
Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door
of the tabernacle of meeting.
► (23) And he said unto them, Why do you such things? for I hear of
your evil dealings by all these people.
► (24) Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: you make the
LORD's people to transgress.
► (25) If one man sins against another, the judge shall judge him: but if
a man sins against the LORD, who shall intercede for him?
Nevertheless they hearkened not unto the voice of their father,
because the LORD desired to slay them.

Persuasion Is Not Prohibition
1Sa 2:29-31
► (29) Why trample you on my sacrifice and on my offering, which I
have commanded in my habitation; and honor your sons above me,
to make yourselves fat with the chief of all the offerings of Israel my
people?
► (30) Therefore the LORD God of Israel says, I said indeed that your
house, and the house of your father, should walk before me forever:
but now the LORD says, Be it far from me; for them that honor me I
will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.
► (31) Behold, the days come, that I will cut off your arm, and the arm
of your father's house, that there shall not be an old man in your
house.

Negative Societal Influence 1
Violence
►Aggression
►Rape
►Robbery
►Gangsterism
►Rebellion
►Murderousness
Diabolism
►Occultism
►Demon Consultation
►Superstitions
►Cultism

Home
► Family Breakdown
► Hostile Homes
► Neglect
► Abandonment
► Over-pampering
► Bad Example
► Demonised
► Christless
Corrupting Pressures
► Social trends
► Peer Pressure
► Bad Company
► Fashion/Trends
► TV/Internet/Media/IT
► Corrupt Demands
(School/Office)
► Lying & Deceit

Insensitivity
► Shamelessness
► Godlessness
► Conscienceless
Stress
► From Work/Business
► From School
► From Home
► From Multimedia
Indulgences
►Sexual Promiscuity
►Drug abuse & addiction
►Smoking & Drinking
►Greed
►Pleasure & Revelry
►Laziness

Church
►Unbiblical Faith
►Worldliness
►Exploitation
►Innovations
►Human Agenda
►Revisionism
Worldview
►Postmodernism
►Relativism
►Individualism
►Antiauthority
►Self-centered
►Hedonism

Godly Parenting
“O parent,
HELP your offspring out of the turbulent TIDES OF TRENDS,
And GUIDE them into the plane PATH OF PURPOSE.
O child,
Rejoice at the PRIVILEGE of parental PEDAGOGY.”
– Anonymous Author.

Godly Parenting 1
Care – Spiritual
►Lead in Devotion
►Lead to Faith
►Initiate/Dedicate
►Verify Vows,
►Intercede
►Bless
Care – Social
►Love
►Provide
►Nourish
►Protect
►Not Perplex

Godly Parenting 2
Coach – Training
►Command
►Instruct
►Teach
►Demonstrate
►Motivate
►Delegate
►Evaluate
Censor – Discipline
►Correct
►Punish
►Reward
►Restrain
►Rebuke

Healthy Parenting – Provide
►Healthcare Provision – Provide safe and healthy
environment for your child to grow up in.
►Provide Prevention – Ensure regular immunization
has been completed against Tuberculosis (BCG),
Polio, Diphtheria, Pertussis (Whooping cough),
Tetanus, Measles.
►Also vaccinate against Meningitis, Typhoid, Mumps,
Rubella, Hepatitis, Yellow fever, Pneumonia & Use
Mosquito nets

Healthy Parenting – Guide
►Sex Education – Sexuality, Promiscuity, Premarital
Pregnancy, STDs, PIDs (best done by indirect
narratives than by direct accusatives).
►Health Education – Personal Hygiene, Malaria,
Contagious Diseases (Mumps, RTIs, Worms, G.E.
CSM), HIV/AIDS, Substance Abuse, Diet, Safety.
►Guard against Risky (Unhealthy) Behaviour –
Smoking & Drinking, Drug Abuse, Overeating, Sexual
Promiscuity, Poor Hygiene, Injurious Exposure
(Danger, Violence, Gangsterism, Fighting, Criminality)
“All they that take the sword shall perish with the sword” Matt 26:52

Positive Parenting – Mentor
►Civility Acculturation – Informal and Formal Civic
Education of good citizenship.
►Leadership Development– Orientation, Delegation
and Supervision on responsible adulthood.
►Godly Maturity Discipleship – Moral/Spiritual
Guidance on basic tenets of the Gospel Faith.
►Academic and Skills Education – Ensure ready
access to Primary, Secondary and Tertiary Schools.

Positive Parenting – Protect 1
►• Protect your child properly in the car. All
children younger than 12 years of age should ride
in the back seat with a seatbelt properly fastened
►• Teach your child to watch traffic and how to be
safe when walking to school, riding a bike, and
playing outside.
►• Make sure your child understands water safety,
and always supervise her when she’s swimming
or playing near water.

Positive Parenting – Protect 2
►• Supervise your child when he’s engaged in risky
activities, such as climbing.
►• Talk with your child about how to ask for help when
she needs it.
►• Keep potentially harmful household products, tools,
equipment, and firearms out of your child’s reach
►• Many children get home from school before their
parents get home from work. It is important to have
clear rules and plans for your child when she is home
alone

Positive Parenting – Care 1
► • Show affection for your child. Recognize her
accomplishments.
► • Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him
to help with household tasks, such as setting the table,
clean-ups.
► • Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she
looks forward to in the future.
► • Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage
him to help people in need.
► • Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn
to take pride in herself and rely less on approval or reward
from others.
► • Make clear rules and stick to them, such as what or how
long your child can watch TV or when he has to go to bed.
Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.

Positive Parenting – Care 2
► • Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or
by finishing a task before going out to play. Encourage him
to think about possible consequences before acting.
► • Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games,
reading, and going to events in your community.
► • Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers
and staff to understand the learning goals and how you and
the school can work together to help your child do well.
► • Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to
read, take turns reading to each other.
► • Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than
punishment to make her feel badly about herself.
► • Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage
him to solve problems, such as a disagreement with another
child, on his own.

Positive Parenting - Safety
Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 12 to 19 year
olds. Injuries from sports and other activities are also common.
► Make sure your teenager knows about the importance of wearing
seatbelts.
► Encourage your teenager to wear a helmet when riding a bike, motorcycle,
or all-terrain vehicle.
► Talk with your teenager about the dangers of drugs, drinking, smoking, and
risky sexual activity. Listen to and answer questions honestly and directly.
► Talk about the importance of having good friends who are interested in
positive activities. Encourage him to avoid peers who pressure him to make
unhealthy choices.
► Know where your teenager is and whether an adult is present. Make plans
with her for when she will call you, where you can find her, and what time
you expect her home.
► Set clear rules for your teenager when he is home alone. Talk about such
issues as having friends at the house; how to handle unsafe situations
(emergencies, fire, drugs, sex, internet) and homework or household tasks
to complete.

Positive Parenting - Trust
Trust is important for teenagers. Even as she develops independence, she
will need to know she has your support. At the same time, she will need
you to respect her needs for privacy.
► Honest and direct talk about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking,
smoking, sex, marriage and religion.
► Encourage exercise and keep active: team or individual sport,
household tasks such as mowing the lawn, house cleaning, cooking or
washing the car.
► Eating meals together: promotes healthy choice of foods and weight,
and gives your family time to talk to each other.
► Meet and get to know your teenager’s friends.
► Show an interest in your teenager’s school life.
► Help your teenager make healthy choices while encouraging him to
make his own decisions and develop solutions to problems or conflicts.
► Listen to and Respect your teenager’s opinions and take into account
her thoughts and feelings.
► Compliment your teenager and celebrate her efforts and
accomplishments.

May God
be with
You AllI’m
Venerable Dr I. U. Ibeme
Website: www.scribd.com/ifeogo

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