1. Inaugural Speech at the natIonal parentS’
SummIt
tItled: ‘parentIng and natIon BuIldIng’
wish to begin by saying that I am not the most competent person to convene this forum;
my sufficiency is in God, who uses the weak things of the world to confound the strong.
My passion is that we don’t fail the generations after us, even if we believe that those
before us have failed us.
I
Many years ago, as a teenager after secondary school, I stood alone in front of my parents’
standing mirror in the sitting room and said to myself: “God, forbid that all that I came to this
world to do is to grow up well, get educated, get a good job, get married, have children, grow
old and die!”
Those days, my parents lived in a two room apartment in a ‘face me I slap you’ building here
in Lagos. In spite of the low-level building that I was in, my thought could soar because of
the quality of people and books that I had been interacting with. These have shaped my views
about life. For me, life has been about purpose, impact and influence on the world.
I tell you the truth; I would never call on these esteemed guests just for my 40th
birthday
party; I did only because it provides me an opportunity to positively impact you. So, my
intention here today is to influence you to take some salient decisions, going forward. I hope
that all here realise the urgency to fulfil the purpose for life – influencing your world
positively and not just to live life.
Before us today is a very sensitive issue – Parenting and Nation Building. At the Royal
Character and Values Limited, we assert that “Character begins at home.” So, using one of
our corporate social responsibility platforms such as the National Parents’ Summit, we
keep sensitising the public to make character development a deliberate aspect of training
children. It is RCV’s way of addressing the widening character gap at source – The Home.
After this inaugural speech of the Parents’ Summit, we would have a rich panel of very
senior seasoned Nigerian professionals and incredible parents to answer our mind boggling
questions.
For instance, why does there seem to be a growing number of fathers and mothers in the
world today but fewer parents? Parenting, I assert, is a very important aspect of the family;
successful parenting authenticates and certifies the quality of a family. Even religion and
ethnic cultures endorse effective parenting.
Unfortunately, in Nigeria, we are already reaping the sore grapes of years of parenting gap.
The consequences constantly threaten to wreck greater social havoc in the society. It’s time
we started talking and acting on this because corruption, crime, tribalism, nepotism and so on
are outcomes of degraded family institutions.
Winston Churchill said: “There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all
the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened
and maintained.”

2. the makIng of a natIon
will not weary you with definitions of parenting and nation building; but please follow
my reasoning. Just as cells make up the human body, every nation is a fusion of vital
cells called family units. Remove every family from an existing nation and all you have
left is a geographical space. This is because families are made up of people and nations made
up of family units. One can therefore safety conclude that the quality of the people is the
quality of the nation. Quality speaks mainly about values, virtue, principles, character.
I
• In her writing titled: Nation Building Begins at Home, a Pilipino Blogger, Tina
Santiago, “I personally believe that if all families were more united and solid in their
life goals and dreams, there would be fewer problems in society. If more parents
would take the time to be with their children and mold them to be future leaders, or
maybe even “world changers,” our world would indeed be a better place, as cliché as
it sounds. As for my family, we are trying our best to make sure that when our kids
grow up, and have families of their own, we can rest in the knowledge that we had
done the best that we could, and that we had played a major role in why our kids had
turned out the way they did.”
how doeS parentIng come In?
arenting must now be seen as a national service because the effects of how parents raise
their children never private; it always has implications for the society.P• By the law of procreation, parents are the primary foundation of family units. Children
arrive into the hands of their parents with natural deposits, but rely on the parents for
nurture (upbringing, home training, values integration, character development and
management).
• Every parent owes it to the general well-being of the nation to train their children into
socially-fit young adults. That is their basic, most important volunteer contribution to
nation building – to raise them to become an advantage and not a disadvantage to the
society.
• The fact is that parents determine the ultimate fate of a nation through the quality of
adults (in nature and nurture) that they ‘contribute’ to the nation through their families.
• Viewing nations building from this angle creates a sense of urgency on the need to
initiate a campaign and a national discourse on deliberate parenting policy.
• Although many parents recognise the role of bringing life forth, they seem to fail to
complete the process through nurturing or unwittingly transfer the responsibility to
other people.
• No nation may be able to preserve her legacy without a deliberate parenting policy
with emphasis on character development. Even the economic power of a nation is at
the risk of the strength or weakness of her citizens’ social capital.
• No parent is qualified to complain about the lopsided position of things in the country,
except you have taken your own responsibility. You owe it to your nation to contribute
or inject ‘positive blood’ into the system.
 -Quote by Archbishop Edward Gilbert of the Catholic Commission for Social Change
said: “The nature of the family is to form people, to train them to learn values, help

3. them to learn virtues so they know how to live their lives…I ask the grandparents to
teach the grandchildren if you see the parents not teaching them. Parent, teach your
children, if you do not teach them how are they going to learn?”
 -Billy Graham said, “The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and
grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but
rather a legacy of character and faith.”
Some Hard TruTH
o child was born already nurtured, but with nature’s raw deposits. Nothing in its
crude state offers the best value, so a role model or ‘refinery’, a parent is someone
who should have the earliest, positive, most consistent and strongest influence on a
child’s life.
N
• Parenting does flow to the ‘whatever will be, will be’ view. It is possible for your
children to turn out the way you want them to, especially if you start the work early.
Remember, there is shorter time for parenting now.
• No one can improve on the parenting process you didn’t initiate – good schools,
church etc. Parents are in the best position to raise their children.
• Trends have shown that luxury is not the greatest need of today’s children; it is
attention. They need help to live above peculiar challenges of their times - stressors
such as the internet, computer games, exposure to violence, the emergence of non-
traditional families due to separation and overseas migration, job transfers, challenging
school and workload, and even heavy traffic! Please BE THERE!
• You can place a 50 per cent limit on your child’s prospect by failing to give him proper
home training (He has nature, give him nurture).
• It will be difficult to convince the world that you are good and you produce bad fruits,
your children are your extensions
• For people who profess one faith or the other, note that failure in parenting can stop
your eternal peace with your maker.
• It is better to train children than to repair men. A child left to himself, untrained is a
destiny lost, the sophistication in their generation, requires guidance.
• Deliberate parenting yields better fruits than assumed parenting.
 “To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”
Anonymous
 James E. Faust said, “To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer
many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a
consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character
and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself.”
rCV reCommendaTionS
n government side, the Royal Character and Values Limited wishes to recommend to
the Federal Government of Nigeria thus:O

4. • That the executive works with the legislative arms of government to promote a
national policy on deliberate parenting with focus on nation building and raising a new
breed of future leaders.
• To legislate that working-class mothers in public and private organisations (with
newborn to primary school-age children), should be allowed to close from work earlier
in order to gain some time to build the future of the nation. This should not affect their
earnings negatively. It is because home training takes about 60 per cent in a parenting
curriculum and for the best result; it must be exhausted from cradle to the teenage
years.
• That based on this policy, this category of working class mothers should be granted the
privilege of working in branches of their companies closer to where they reside.
• That their companies should exempt them from out of station transfers, and granted
automatic right to reunite with their transferred husbands (if they so wish).
• That all working parents must observe annual leave, a time to be invested into family
re-integration, encouraging well-raised adults.
• That the government, through relevant agencies, establishes centres to create
awareness about the vital roles of parents to nation building.
n parents’ side, before the children born, they should have parenting goals with a
deliberate policy on character development so as to produce their desired brand of
children. This way, they won’t add to existing social problems.O• Parents should show commitment to the demands of this goal through living by
examples, designing a sacrificial schedule to be available during the children’s first
few and crucial years. Don’t sell your future to buy today.
 David Bly said, “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them
to be.”
 C. Everett Koop said, “Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege,
than the raising of the next generation.”
• Parents (biological and foster), should invest towards their expected parenting result
(by searching for requisite and adequate knowledge etc). Don’t be rigid and no guess
work as you cannot give what you don’t have.
• As the children arrive, let them see there’s a blue print that’s mutually beneficial so
they can cooperate with you.
• Marriage counselors must now serve would-be couples a training diet on deliberate
and effective parenting, preparatory to their wedding.
• Parents would however need to be consistent and tireless in this responsibility. Put
your trust in God and expect the best.
Bosede Olusola-Obasa,
Lead Facilitator,
Royal Character and Values Limited,
Lagos.
Saturday, Aug 29, 2015

5. Talk Time PiloT QuesTions: nowadays Children Vs. nowadays
ParenTs
*What has changed: new species of creatures?
*Is it possible to raise children with the balance of civilisation and character?
*Are there old school child training values?
*Can a child be truly raised with both parents absent?
*What about transferring the responsibility to schools, nannies?
*Becoming 'independent' earlier?
*Information technology and sophistication
*Where did child training of our parents go wrong?
*Finding a balance - psychotically, social, spiritual and all
*Wealth and good education
*Who or what has changed today from yesterday – parents, children or the world?
*Who or what is to blame for turning out imbalance in the quality younger generation?
*Has this lapse left the society the same way?
*Can the trend be remedied?

6. Talk Time PiloT QuesTions: nowadays Children Vs. nowadays
ParenTs
*What has changed: new species of creatures?
*Is it possible to raise children with the balance of civilisation and character?
*Are there old school child training values?
*Can a child be truly raised with both parents absent?
*What about transferring the responsibility to schools, nannies?
*Becoming 'independent' earlier?
*Information technology and sophistication
*Where did child training of our parents go wrong?
*Finding a balance - psychotically, social, spiritual and all
*Wealth and good education
*Who or what has changed today from yesterday – parents, children or the world?
*Who or what is to blame for turning out imbalance in the quality younger generation?
*Has this lapse left the society the same way?
*Can the trend be remedied?