The document discusses different types of people - givers, takers, and matchers - and their approach to interactions and relationships. It argues that givers, who prefer to give more than they receive, tend to be the most successful. While takers focus on getting as much as possible and believe the world is competitive, givers strive to be generous with their time, skills, and knowledge in order to help others. Examples are given showing that givers rise to the top through creating networks and enhancing the success of those around them, while takers' short-term gains often lead to long-term losses.

1. Give and Take
Why helping others drives our success
Adam Grant, Wharton Biz school

2. According to conventional wisdom
successful people have
motivation, ability and
opportunity ahead of others.

3. Success however depends on how
we approach our interactions with
others.

4. Every time we interact with a
work colleague, we have a choice
to make, do we claim as much
value as we can, or contribute
without worrying about what we
receive in return.

5. There are givers and takers in life.

6. Takers have a distinctive profile –
they like to get more than they
give.

7. Takers believe that the world is a
dog eat dog place. To prove their
competence, they self promote
and make sure they get plenty of
credit for their efforts.

8. Givers are a relatively rare breed.
They prefer to give more than
they get. Givers focus on what
other people need from them.

9. A giver at work strives to be
generous in sharing time,
energy,knowledge,skills, ideas and
connections with other people.

10. Most people act like givers in close
relationships like marriage
because we don’t keep score in
such relationships.

11. At the workplace we see a third
kind- the matcher – someone who
maintains a fine balance of giving
and getting.

12. Givers dominate the top of the
success ladder, a few givers are
also at the bottom.

13. When takers win, someone else
usually loses.
Givers give in a way that creates a
ripple effect, enhancing the
success of people around them.

14. Abraham Lincoln was a giver. He
went out of his way to help others
even if it was inconvenient to him.
He is seen as the least self
centered, egotistical, boastful
presidents ever.

15. When Lincoln became president,
he invited three of his republican
opponents to the cabinet to be
secretary of state, secretary of
treasury and attorney general.

16. In medical school, givers do poorly
in year one, when everything is an
individual activity. However by
year two when they start dealing
with patients, nurses and
hospitals, they turn out to be the
best. Every service industry needs
more givers than takers.

17. Giving is particularly risky with
takers. Most venture capitalists
are big takers , always squeezing
the idea owner.

18. Networks are important and give
three advantages-information,
diverse skills and power. Strong
networks help gain access to
knowledge, expertise and
influence.

19. Takers may rise by kissing up, but
they often fall by kicking down.

20. Takers use language like I, me,
mine, my and myself.
Givers use words like us, we , our,
ours, ourselves.

21. There is a direct co relation
between size of the CEOs picture
in a balance sheet and failure of
the company. Bigger the picture,
more spectacular the failure.

22. Takers and matchers use networks
strategically. They tend to focus on
who can help them in the near
future and this dictates what they
give.

23. When favors come with strings
attached, then it becomes a
transaction.

24. Takers are black holes, they suck
energy from the system. The givers
are suns, they inject light around the
organization.
Givers create opportunities for their
colleagues to contribute in a meeting,
they listen, even if they disagree, they
don’t belittle people.

25. When a group has a consistent
giver, then the group members
contribute more.

26. Givers see interdependence as a
source of strength.

27. Mountaineering has an expression
called expedition behavior.
Expedition behavior involves
putting the groups goals and
mission first, showing the same
concern for others that you do for
yourself.

28. Givers code of honor is : a. show
up, b. Work hard, c. Be kind and d.
take the high road.

29. George Meyer shaped 300
Simpsons episodes, yet got credit
for only 12. He was the ultimate
giver.

30. In a study of Slovenian companies,
takers struggled to be creative
because no co worker gave them
information or responded to
them.

31. Takers exaggerate their own
contribution in a meeting or
success. This is known as
responsibility bias. It happens
because we have more
information about our own
contribution and we don’t really
know how others have worked.

32. Between 1993 and 1997, in four
years, Hollywood had 400
screenplays and a third went to
credit arbitration.

33. Givers create psychological safety-
a climate where everyone feels
they can contribute and its okay to
fall flat and fail or being judged or
punished.

34. Psychologically safe environments
help people learn and innovate
more.

35. Teachers beliefs always create self
fulfilling prophecies. A teachers
belief is the best tonic for success.

36. In accounting, work ethic and
motivation are ahead of
intellectual capability for success.

37. Grit is having passion and
perseverance towards long term
goals.
Gritty people have interest, focus
and drive, hence achieve higher
performance.

38. The key to cultivating grit is to
make the task interesting and
motivating.

39. Powerless communication is
about expressing vulnerability,
showing weakness and doubt, but
wins only if you are seen as
competent.

40. Asking questions is a form of
powerless communication that
givers adopt naturally.

41. Advice seeking and feedback
seeking is a form of powerless
communication.
This works if it is genuine.

42. Empathy is a pervasive force
behind giving behaviors, but its
also a major source of
vulnerability.

43. Men negotiate more than women
on issues like salary. Women do a
great job when they negotiate for
someone else.