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How we can use reciprocity to identify and become great leaders
- 1. Give and Take How we can use reciprocity to identify and become great leaders By Usman Ismail
- 2. Who and Why • Who I am • Engineer Manager Wealthsimple • Senior Engineer at Amazon • Engineer Manager at Kik • Technical Director at Electronic Arts • Why I think about this • Because Wealthsimple is growing fast • Every one we hire now is going to be a potential leader • We need a leading indicator for leadership • Reciprocity style is that leading indicator
- 3. Reciprocity Style • According to Adam grant reciprocity style is a good indication of leadership potential • Takers: Like to take advantage of relationships • Only help when it’s in their self- interest. • Zero sum thinking. • Matchers: Try to match the style of other party. • Most people are matchers Givers: Are less concerned about how much they give. Takers Matchers Givers
- 4. Who are the best leaders? • Which group makes the best leaders? • Givers • Which group makes the worst leaders? • Also Givers • Lets look at why successful givers are successful
- 5. Why givers succeed 1. Reputational Networks 2. Social Punishment 3. Selective Giving 4. Social Capital 5. Illusory Superiority 6. Cognitive Load
- 6. 1: Reputational Networks • (1 of 6) Reputational Networks • Givers build better reputational networks • Gossip Networks propagate reputations farther and faster than you would imagine • Reputation becomes much more useful in later career when trust of peers and juniors is very important. • Takers have negative reputations
- 7. 2: Social Punishment • (2 of 6) Social Punishment • The Kahneman ultimatum game • Less than 30% offers are rejected • https://www.sciencedirect.com/s cience/article/pii/016726818290 0117 • People are willing to loose personal gain to hurt takers • Observed bad behaviour has negative impact as well as experienced behaviour • If people see you being mean to others they will punish you
- 8. 3: Selective Giving • (3 of 6) Takers’ Selective giving hurts them as they would probably help the wrong people • We are terrible at predicting who will succeed • Lower status recipients of help value help more
- 9. 4: Social Capital Strong Ties: Lots of Capital Weak Ties: A little Capital Dormant Ties: Former Strong Ties
- 10. Strong vs Weak Ties • Strong ties are great for emotional support • Weak ties are more important for career advancement • Dormant Ties are best
- 11. Cultural Homogeneity • Cultural Homogeneity • Week ties that give you the • Advanced information • Insight • Hidden opportunities • to make large career jumps • Givers tend to have lots of week ties as they have helped a lot of relative strangers
- 12. • Matchers sometimes don't reach out to weak ties because they don't want to take on new debt • Givers have often given first, hence have outstanding credit with matchers • Givers are open to taking on debt because they know they would have done the same thing for others • Aside: Both Givers and Takers take a lot, the difference is the motivation not the amount • As leaders we often need to take from others, being a giver helps • Marlin roped in a lot of animals to help find Nemo • Takers reputations hamper use of week ties
- 13. 5: Illusory Superiority • (5 of 6) Most people over estimate their contribution to a relationship. • Your calculus of who owes who is likely to favour yourself • Peers’ calculus overestimate themselves • Net effect is everyone feels they are owed and does not help others • Givers are immune from this as they could care less who owes who
- 14. 6: Cognitive Load of Matchers • (6 of 6) Cognitive load of keeping track of who owes you makes you slower • Its difficult to be Authentic if you are always running mental calculus of who owes who
- 15. High vs Low Achieving Givers
- 16. –Bill Gates “..there are two great forces of human nature: self- interest and caring for others. People are most successful when they are driven by a hybrid engine of the two.”
- 17. Otherish Givers Low Other Interest High Other Interest Low Self Interest Apathetic Selfless Giver High Self Interest Selfish/Taker Otherish Givers
- 18. Identifying Takers Agreeableness Extroversion Peer Relationships Power relationships Otherishness
- 19. Identifying Takers • Agreeableness is not a sign of giving • Takers kiss up kick down • An agreeable junior may just be kissing up to you • An senior may just be humouring your or placating you • This is not an excuse to allow rudeness • Don’t confuse respectful disagreement with rudeness and vice versa • Extrovert vs Introvert is not a way to separate givers vs takers • See how people treat their peers and juniors • The most import skill is to manage their juniors, so ask their juniors
- 20. Becoming a better leader
- 21. Don’t keep score • Don’t bother keeping track of who owes who • When deciding to whether help others don’t decide based on • Whether the other person owes you • Are they in a position to return the favour • Are they in a position of power • Instead….
- 22. Generous Quid pro quo • Be willing to make the first move • Be willing to give more than you get as long as the other person continues to give something • Builds reputation • Builds social capital • Breaks illusory superiority deadlock
- 23. Generous Quid pro quo • If someone seems always to take scale back your giving • If someone gives even if you think they don’t give enough stay in the giver mentality. • Helps you become otherish giver rather than selfless-giver
- 24. Five minute favour • Be willing to do a 5 minute favour for anyone even a takers • It does not cost your anything • Let the social capital go forth and multiply • Builds reputation • Avoid selective giving • Builds social capital
- 25. Specialize • Be willing to give in areas where you are an expert or you have unique skills and insight • It will be lower cost to you more helpful to others • Connect people with relevant experts if you can
- 26. Thank You
- 27. Further Reading • Adam Grant: Give and Take • Malcom Gladwell: David and Goliath • The Endowment Effect, Loss Aversion, and Status Quo Bias: Kahneman, Knetsch and Thaler • Pull the Goalie: Asness and Brown • Authenticity Principle: Ritu Bhasin
Editor's Notes
- Who are you and why are your talking about leadership Who Engineer Manager Wealthsimple Senior Engineer at Amazon Engineer Manager at Kik Technical Director at Electronic Arts Why I think about this a lot because Wealthsimple is growing fast Every one we hire now is going to be important We need to hire and develop people who will be leaders later As a leader our primary mission is develop great leaders and be great leaders This begs the question, How can we identify great leaders and be better leaders?
- According to Adam grant reciprocity style is a good indication of leadership potential Takers: Like to take advantage of relationships Only help when it’s in their self-interest. Zero sum thinking. Matchers: Try to match the style of other party. Most people are matchers Givers: Are less concerned about how much they give.
- Which group makes the best leaders? Givers Which group makes the worst leaders? Also Givers Lets look at why successful givers are successful
- (1 of 6) Reputational Networks Givers build better reputational networks Gossip Networks propagate reputations farther and faster than you would imagine Reputation becomes much more useful in later career when trust of peers and juniors is very important.
- (2 of 6) Social Punishment The Kahneman ultimatum game Less than 30% offers are rejected https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0167268182900117 People are willing to loose personal gain to hurt takers Observed bad behaviour has negative impact as well as experienced behaviour If people see you being mean to others they will punish you
- (3 of 6) Takers’ Selective giving hurts them as they would probably help the wrong people We are terrible at predicting who will succeed Lower status recipients of help value help more Karney Li and Apoorva Mehta Instacart 8 billion valuation
- How much credit have built up with your relationships Reciprocity Tendency Dormant Ties = Former Strong Ties
- (4 of 6) Strong vs weak ties (Dormant ties) Which do you think are better for career advancement? Strong ties are great for emotional support Weak ties are more important for career advancement
- Cultural Homogeneity Week ties that give you the Advanced information Insight Hidden opportunities to make large career jumps Givers tend to have lots of week ties as they have helped a lot of relative strangers
- Matchers sometimes don't reach out to weak ties because they don't want to take on new debt Givers have often given first, hence have outstanding credit with matchers Givers are open to taking on debt because they know they would have done the same thing for others Aside: Both Givers and Takers take a lot, the difference is the motivation not the amount As leaders we often need to take from others, being a giver helps Marlin roped in a lot of animals to help find Nemo Takers reputations hamper use of week ties
- (5 of 6) Most people over estimate their contribution to a relationship. Your calculus of who owes who is likely to favour yourself Peers’ calculus overestimate themselves Net effect is everyone feels they are owed and does not help others Givers are immune from this as they could care less who owes who
- (6 of 6) Cognitive load of keeping track of who owes you makes you slower Its difficult to be Authentic if you are always running mental calculus of who owes who
- So what is the difference between high and low achieving givers?
- When looking for leaders find givers who are also able to self-advocate and manage their priorities
- Agreeableness is not a sign of giving Takers kiss up kick down An agreeable junior may just be kissing up to you An senior may just be humouring your or placating you This is not an excuse to allow rudeness Don’t confuse respectful disagreement with rudeness and vice versa Extrovert vs Introvert is not a way to separate givers vs takers See how people treat their peers and juniors The most import skill is to manage their juniors so ask them
- Don’t bother keeping track of who owes who When deciding to whether help others don’t decide based on Whether the other person owes you Are they in a position to return the favour Are they in a position of power Instead….
- Be willing to make the first move Be willing to give more than you get as long as the other person continues to give something Builds reputation Builds social capital Breaks illusory superiority deadlock
- If someone seems always to take scale back your giving Helps you become otherish giver rather than selfless-giver
- Be willing to do a 5 minute favour for anyone even a takers It does not cost your anything let the social capital go forth and multiply Builds reputation Avoid selective giving Builds social capital
- Be willing to give in areas where you are an expert or you have unique skills and insight It will be lower cost to you more helpful to others Connect people with relevant experts if you can