Fiction Secrets to Wow Readers
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Gain an editor's insider knowledge about how to create fiction that sings! Ann Videan shares her expertise as a marketing consultant, editor, and Book Shepherd, to teach you several powerful writing tips. The next time you sit down with your manuscript, you will know how to use structure and words that create vibrant mental images to fascinate your reader.
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Fiction Secrets to Wow Readers
- 1. A professional editor’s most powerful fiction-writing suggestions. Ann Narcisian Videan ANVidean.com April 29, 2017
- 2. Book Shepherd, author, editor, illustrator, composer A professional writer since 1981 Owned award-winning marketing firm, vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC, since 1996 Editor: corporate, publishing house, and clients Author: Rhythms & Muse, Song of the Ocarina, Enchanted Faerie Portals Co-owner Absolutely Wild! Enchanted Faerie Portals & Other Whimsy— inspired by Fae characters in Song of the Ocarina Other career highlights: 2007 – Selected by peers for the Public Relations Society of America's top honor: the PERCY Award 2005 – Selected by national panel for Crown Jewel Award: top U.S. home-based business 2004 – Served as catalyst to reintroduce white rhinos to the Phoenix Zoo. 1996 – Enticed 15,000 extras to Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, AZ, to film football movie scenes for Jerry Maguire
- 3. When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But, will they succeed when the antagonist provides opposition?* When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But, will they succeed when the antagonist provides opposition? * http://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/ and Fantasy Fiction Formula by Deborah Chester This mini synopsis gives you: • Inciting incident • Main good character • The story’s overall goal • Villain/opposing character • The conflict I. Story Question*
- 4. Song of the Ocarina When the Dark Fae in Delfaerune steal the sacred ocarina and start practicing forbidden spells that disrupt the elemental balance in Zealynd, 18-year-old Noble Fae Lark Tūrehu quests to recover the ocarina, and master intricate spells that can stop the Dark Fae from taking over the human realm. But, will she succeed when the leader of the Dark Fae is her true love’s brother Mikk, and he’s bent on changing humans’ DNA so they will die out and he can take over their world? For novel-length works • Inciting incident • Main good character • The story’s overall goal • Villain/opposing character • The conflict Story Question Example
- 5. Cinderella’s Sole Search When Mikk Stone misuses the Mākutu Tome of dark spells and accidentally releases Cinderella from a faerie tale book, Clara, the protector of books in Delfaerune, heads out on a quest to recapture the character. But, will Clara succeed when Cinderella is clandestinely leaving one shoe on the doorstep of every eligible bachelor in the realm to try to replace Prince Charming with Mr. Perfect, and refuses to go home? For short stories • Inciting incident • Main good character • The story’s overall goal • Villain/opposing character • The conflict Story Question Example
- 6. Point of view character: Who has the most at stake? Goal: Be very specific. Conflict (scene question): What happens between characters to impede the goal? Setback (scene answer): Was the goal achieved? Generally, no, until end of story. Options: Yes. No. Yes, but... No, and furthermore... * http://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/ Every scene should use this structure to keep the story spinning forward. II. Scene Question*
- 7. POV: Librarian Faerie Clara Goal: Retrieve Cinderella and lure her back into Grimm’s by finding her a better life solution than Prince Charming, or even Mr. Perfect. Conflict: Cinderella escapes and is running around looking for a new mate and, when caught, refuses to go back. Setback (Conclusion, in short story): Yes, but... Cindy goes back into the book, but not to be with Prince Charming. She agrees to go back and live happily ever after designing shoes, a situation Clara set in motion. Can be used to plot a short story or an entire book. Scene Question Example
- 8. Act I: Inciting Incident What starts the action for your main character? Complication Act 2: Reversal What grows the conflict by turning in a different/unexpected direction? Cause of the black moment Act 3: Black Moment The climax Resolution Act 1 (25% of book) Inciting incident Act 2 (50%) Reversal Act 3 (25%) Black moment III. 3-Act Format
- 9. Act I: What starts the action for your main character? In Song of the Ocarina, Lark finds out she's Fae, not human. She travels to the Fae realm to retrieve and master the ancient Kura Ocarina and save the human world from the Dark Fae. 1.5 Complication: What gets in the way of resolving the inciting incident? Lark doesn't have the instrument, and doesn't know if she could play it effectively anyway. She finds out the Dark Fae also kidnapped her parents, so she needs to rescue them, too. Act 1 Inciting incident, plus a complication Act 1 Example
- 10. Act 2: What grows the conflict by turning in a different unexpected direction? The Noble Fae fail to retrieve the ocarina, Noel attacks her with a Dark spell. Noel returns to his brother Mikk and the Dark Fae, her sister goes to the Dark Fae, too. 2.5 Cause of black moment: What starts the ball rolling toward the climax? Noble Fae go after the instrument and her family, but fail again. Act 2 Reversal, plus cause of the Black Moment Act 2 Example
- 11. Act 3: The climax Mikk actually succeeds in influencing the human race, so they will die out. But, Lark finally retrieves the ocarina and, with Noel’s return, is able to reverse Mikk's spell on the humans, Unfortunately, she blows out her eardrums. 3.5 Resolution: Wrapping up all loose ends Lark’s ears heal, she reconciles with Noel. But, her parents are still captives of the Dark Fae. Noel returns to his family to act as an inside informant for the Nobles. Act 3 Black moment, plus resolution III. 3-Act Format
- 12. When something happens, characters react in this order: Emotion Review, logic, and reason Anticipation Choice * http://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/ • Emotion • Review, logic, and reason • Anticipation • Choice IV. Sequential Reaction*
- 13. When something happens, characters react in this order: Emotion “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing Review, logic, and reason What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? Anticipation What’s going to happen. What do I do? Choice What do I do? Who do I call? • Emotion • Review, logic, and reason • Anticipation • Choice IV. Sequential Reaction
- 14. It is sensory-engaging for readers. Deep POV isn't simply active voice or showing rather than telling. Stay in the action. Climb into a character's skin and taste, feel, hear, and smell what they experience. Tips from Michelle Massaro, assistant editor, Clash of the Titles V. Write in deep POV
- 15. Delete the phrases: “she saw,” “he heard,” “They realized,” etc. They distance readers. No: She saw the clan of dragons rising over the horizon. Yes: The dragon clan rose over the horizon. Just state the action. Deep POV
- 16. What would you say in the situation where someone points a gun at your character? No: She was terrified. Yes: He planned to kill her. or She expected to die. Stay inside character’s head and in the action Deep POV
- 17. Example: Anger No: He felt angry. Yes: He narrowed his eyes, curled his lip, and restrained his tensed muscles from hurling his fist into the wall. Example: Love No: He realized he was in love with her. Yes: He closed his eyes and her gentle voice calmed him. Her lavender scent made his head spin and filled him with the belief he could do anything if it meant being with her. Don’t label emotions Deep POV
- 18. Describe: Knees buckling Chest tightening Throat clamping An adrenaline rush Goose bumps Nausea Dizziness Sweating Etc. Physical action/reaction Provide physical responses to pull the reader deep into the story. Deep POV
- 19. No: Steve was clearly angry. (telling) Yes: Steve clenched his hands until his knuckles whitened, and a tight muscle ticked along his jaw. (showing, fits deep POV) No: Preparations for the meal were underway. (telling) Yes: She pulled out the pot, filled it with water she'd pumped from the well, and dumped in the pre-peeled potatoes. (showing) Show, Don’t Tell Beauty is in the details. No broad brush strokes telling the action. Show how it happens! Deep POV
- 20. Active verbs Not “to be” verbs (was, had, be, +) Active voice Not passive voice Word choice subliminally affects readers. They may not even know why they love or hate a story, but it’s often because of active verbiage choices. VI. Active Verbiage
- 21. Inactive/"to be" verbs = is, was, has, have, be, been Active verbs: jumps, shouted, binge, stumbles, stared Use active verbs to create a mental picture 1. Active Verbs
- 22. Passive voice often uses inactive verbs followed by words ending in “-ed” or “-ing” Passive voice is jumping, are shouting, have enticed Active voice jumps, shout, enticed It's the way we speak, but should not be the way we write. 2. Active Voice
- 23. Passive: We have awaited an emergence of a Fae with both the essential musical prowess and the Earth connection, and finally have found her in the young Lark Tūrehu. Active: We awaited an emergence of a Fae with both the essential musical prowess and the Earth connection, and finally found her. Passive: Their misuse of the forbidden mākutu spells are undermining the elemental structure of both realms. Active: Their misuse of the forbidden mākutu spells undermines the elemental structure of both realms. In active voice, you start your sentences with the subject and use an active verb to describe what the subject does. Activevoice
- 24. Get writing support... Words.Music.Village website http://ANVidean.com avidean@videanunlimited.com
- 25. See you at... AWW booth, Phoenix Comicon Memorial Day weekend, downtown Phoenix “Query Secrets to Wow Agents” Tempe Public Library Oct. 28, 2017
Editor's Notes
- Bio on screen Run three businesses all dealing with words and creativity and supporting young writers of all ages • Author: R&M, SOO • Fae Environmentalist for AWEFPOW, author/illustrator of coloring book w/ writing prompts • Book shepherd (edit, publish, WOM) As editor and writer, certain MSs sing Many authors don’t know how to make this happen Six best tips I can give my writers to really make a story “jump off page,” subliminally, visceral attachment to writing Start with good “bones.” Even pantsers need a skeleton of ideas, especially overall story and character arcs. Read many fantasy books, when read JB’s Dresden File series. compelled to pick apart stories to see what made them so fantastic Read every book (22) Found livejournal Discovered his mentor Deborah Chester Fantasy Fiction Formula, author 35 books, prof at UofO. Railed against format. JB story to show her Picasso quote. Their secrets work.
- Mini synopsis that gives you: Inciting incident Main good character The story’s overall goal Villain opposing character The conflict When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But will s/he succeed when the antagonist provides opposition? example
- Song of the Ocarina When the Dark Fae in Delfaerune steal the sacred ocarina and start practicing forbidden spells that disrupt the elemental balance in Zealynd, 18-year-old Noble Fae Lark Tūrehu quests to recover the ocarina, and master intricate spells that can stop the Dark Fae from taking over the human realm. But, will she succeed when the leader of the Dark Fae is her true love’s brother Mikk, and he’s bent on changing human’s DNA so they will die out and he can take over their world? Loved using this when I started writing Faerie’s Tales! 1,500–4,000-word short stories
- Cinderella’s Sole Search When Mikk Stone misuses the Makutu Tome of dark spells and accidentally releases Cinderella from a faerie tale book, Clara, the protector of books in Delfaerune, heads out on a quest to recapture the character. But, will Clara succeed when Cinderella is clandestinely leaving one shoe on the doorstep of every eligible bachelor in the realm to try to replace Prince Charming with Mr. Perfect, and might lead to an entirely new story for future readers? Focuses you on your story purpose How to plan story to compel readers Most valuable tool found to date.
- POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER: Who has most at stake? GOAL: be specific CONFLICT (SCENE QUESTION): What happens to impede the goal? This happens between characters—not necessarily the antagonist and not external forces. SETBACK (SCENE ANSWER): Was the goal achieved? Generally, no, until end of story. Options: Yes. Boring. No. use sparingly, can frustrate reader, decrease character empathy Yes, but... complication No and furthermore... character makes matters worse Outlined book 2, skeleton allows creativity Tool for FTs
- POV Librarian Faerie Clara Goal: Retrieve Cinderella and lure her back into book by finding her a better life solution than Prince Charming, or even Mr. Perfect Conflict: Cinderella escapes and is running around looking for a new mate, and when caught refuses to go back. Setback (conclusion in short story): Yes, but... Cindy goes back into the book, but not to be with Prince Charming. She wants go back and live happily ever after designing shoes, a situation Clara set in motion. Now know what whole story entails Plans for scenes Now, framework to insert into
- Act I: Inciting Incident What starts the action for your main character? Complication Act 2: Reversal What grows the conflict by turning in a different/unexpected direction? Cause of the black moment Act 3: Black Moment The climax Resolution Example
- Act 1 (25% of book) Inciting incident: What starts the action for your main character? What starts the action for your main character? In Song of the Ocarina, Lark finds out she's Fae, not human. She travels to the Fae realm to retrieve and master the ancient Kura Ocarina and save the human world from the Dark Fae. 1.5 Complication: What gets in the way of resolving the inciting incident? Lark doesn't have the instrument, and doesn't know if she could play it effectively anyway. At home, she finds out the Dark Fae also kidnapped her parents, so she needs to rescue them, too.
- Act 2 (50%) Reversal: What grows the conflict by turning in a different/ unexpected direction? The Noble Fae fail to retrieve the ocarina, Noel attacks her with a Dark spell. Noel returns to his brother Mikk and the Dark Fae, her sister goes to the Dark Fae, too. 2.5 Cause of black moment: What starts the ball rolling toward the climax? Noble Fae go after the instrument and her family, but fail again.
- Act 3 (25%) Black moment: The climax Mikk actually succeeds in influencing the human race, so they will die out. But, Lark finally retrieves the ocarina and, with Noel’s return, is able to reverse Mikk's spell on the humans, but she blows out her eardrums. 3.5 Resolution: Wrapping up all loose ends Lark’s ears heal, she reconciles with Noel. But, her parents are still captives of the Dark Fae. Noel returns to his family to act as an inside informant for the Nobles. But, her parents are still captives of the Dark Fae, and Noel returns to his family and act as an inside informant for the Nobles. Learn more: http://blog.janicehardy.com/2013/10/how-to-plot-with-three-act-structure.html Now, you have structure to write within Need character writing skills
- IV. SEQUELS: SEQUENTIAL REACTION The way humans always react to stimuli. Every time something happens to character. 1) Emotional reaction: Allows a character to react emotionally to a scene's outcome. 2) Review, logic, & reason: allows a character to review facts and work through the logical options of his situation. 3) Anticipation: allows a character to ponder probable outcomes to various choices. What comes next? 4) Choice: allows a character to make a choice--ie, to set themselves a new GOAL for the next SCENE. Car accident examples
- IV. SEQUELS: SEQUENTIAL REACTION The way humans always react to stimuli. 1) Emotional reaction: Oh my goodness! Pound hands on steering wheel. 2) Review, logic, & reason: What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? 3) Anticipation: What’s going to happen? What should I do? 4) Choice: Should I drive away and let the card fall? Oh, man, I need to see if someone else is hurt. I need to call my insurance company. Now, with idea of reaction, help you write better characters Best way to make readers empathetic to characters -> deep POV
- V. Deep POV Deep Point Of View is a writing style in high demand these days. Sensory-engaging technology raised the bar on what a consumer expects out of their favorite pastimes. In movies we've got digital 3D. For music, surround-sound. In video games, it's the motion-detection of the Wii. And for fiction we have Deep POV. But many authors aren't sure what it is or how to do it. Deep POV isn't active voice or showing rather than telling. The reader wants to climb into a character's skin— tasting, feeling, hearing, smelling what they do. Four tips from Michelle Massaro, Assistant Editor Clash of the Titles
- Delete the phrase "s/he saw" ”heard" or "realized" Can't completely make them disappear, but mostly. Just state the action. The "saw" phrases distance the reader. You are describing the character interacting with the action rather than bringing the reader into it. She heard, she saw, she wondered. Example
- Use realistic internal dialogue. Figure out what you would say to yourself if you were experiencing the scene, Then replace the pronouns with "s/he" (unless you're writing in first person, of course.) Example
- Don't label emotions Vital to Deep POV. Delete from your mind the name we give to an emotion and force yourself to describe it. Examples
- Provide physical action/reaction Once you lay out some strong internal dialogue and remove emotion labels, follow up with physical responses: Describe those. This will really pull the reader deep into the story, particularly in high-intensity moments.
- . Show, Don't Tell. Beauty is in the details. No broad brush strokes telling the action. Show how it happens. Examples Have some concrete tips on Deep POV. Now move into some more nitty-gritty changes you can make while writing.
- Active verbiage Word choice subliminally affects readers. They may not even know why they love or hate a story, but it’s often because of active word choices. I want you to know this one small change in your writing—whether it's a book, marketing content, or even emails— will make your message jump off the page, and connect your reader to your message. When your message compelling, readers emotionally attach, they act (buy).
- Active Verbs Use active verbs to create a mental picture When you write with active verbs, your reader can more clearly visualize what’s happening in their minds emotionally attaches them to the story heightens their enjoyment in the reading.
- Learn more: Ann Videan blog "Writing" section: http://anvidean.com/2012/04/10/1-writing-tip-passive-vs-active-voice/ Examples
- In active voice, you start your sentences with the subject and use an active verb to describe what the subject does. Examples Six Tips to use! I. Story Question II. Scene Question III. 3-Act Format IV. Seguential reaction V. Deep POV VI. Active verbiage
- I’m available for consultations. Giving one away today. Offer: Through end of May, 1.5-hr. consult 66% off... any topic to jumpstart you Also Book Shepherd deal and giveaway today, drop card at booth Charity request for emerging writers/artists Storytelling book Visit AW.net
- I wish you the best of luck with your writing, and do let me know how I can help Phoenix Comicon Memorial Day weekend writer Tempe Public Library in Oct. 29 .