An Editor's Top Tips to Entice Readers Into Your Story
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Book Shepherd has had a long career as a professional writer since 1981. She has owned her own marketing firm since 1996 and has edited over 50 books for various clients. She is also the author of three books of her own and co-owns a business inspired by characters from one of her books. Some of her other career highlights include winning prestigious awards for her marketing work in 2007 and 2005. She has also been involved in charitable work including helping to reintroduce white rhinos to a Phoenix zoo in 2004.
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An Editor's Top Tips to Entice Readers Into Your Story
- 1. Book Shepherd, author, editor, illustrator, composer A professional writer since 1981 Owned award-winning marketing firm, vIDEAn Unlimited, LLC, since 1996 Editor: corporate, publishing house, and 50+ client books Author: Rhythms & Muse, Song of the Ocarina, Enchanted Faerie Portals Co-owner Absolutely Wild! Enchanted Faerie Portals & Other Whimsy— inspired by Fae characters in Song of the Ocarina Other career highlights: 2007 – Selected by peers for the Public Relations Society of America's top honor: the PERCY Award 2005 – Selected by national panel for Crown Jewel Award: top U.S. home-based business 2004 – Served as catalyst to reintroduce white rhinos to the Phoenix Zoo. 1996 – Enticed 15,000 extras to Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, AZ, to film football movie scenes for Jerry Maguire
- 2. Powerful suggestions to create emotional connection with readers. Ann Narcisian Videan ANVidean.com Sept. 22, 2018
- 3. Step 1: Overall story/message Step 2: Developing content Step 3: Compelling writing Step 4: Edit/format for ease of reading Covering both fiction and nonfiction TODAY’S TOPICS
- 4. When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But, will they succeed when the antagonist provides opposition?* When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But, will they succeed when the antagonist provides opposition? *http://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/ and Fantasy Fiction Formula by Deborah Chester This Story Question * gives you a mini- synopsis with: • Inciting incident • Main good character • The story’s overall goal • Villain/opposing character • The conflict Step 1: FICTION OVERALL STORY*
- 5. Harry Potter When he finds out he’s a wizard, Harry Potter moves to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to learn about magic and his mysterious past. But, will he succeed when the dark Lord Voldemort, who killed Harry’s parents, returns to retrieve an immortality stone so he can destroy the young student? • Inciting incident • Main good character • The story’s overall goal • Villain/opposin g character • The conflict STORY QUESTION EXAMPLE
- 6. What is your book about? Not: “The story of my life.” Rather: “A compelling tale about overcoming self-doubt with a spiritual practice.” What purpose will your book serve? What’s in it for you? Gain clients, build additional readership, share with family. Compelling Questions Be clear, so you: • Stay on track with your purpose • Entice readers with a succinct description and promise Cathy Preland, Author Unlimited: https://authorunlimited.com/ writing-non-fiction-book/ STEP 1: NONFICTION OVERALL MESSAGE
- 7. Fiction writers, write your story question. When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But, will they succeed when the antagonist provides opposition? Nonfiction writers, answer the two questions: What is your book about? What purpose does the book serve? Clear overall story/message
- 8. Point of view character: Who has the most at stake? Goal: Be very specific. Conflict (scene question): What happens between characters to impede the goal? Setback (scene answer): Was the goal achieved? Generally, no, until end. Options: Yes. No. Yes, but... No, and furthermore... Scene Question* Every scene should use this structure to keep the story spinning forward. *http://jimbutcher.live journal.com/ STEP 2: FICTION CONTENT
- 9. POV: Harry Potter Goal: Open the Golden Egg for a clue to help survive the Triwizard tournament. Conflict: He can’t find a way to open it, and when he does, he can’t understand the merpeople’s song of instructions. Setback: Yes, he figures it out, but the song directs him to the Black Lake, where he must find a way to breathe underwater to retrieve his friend(s). Can be used to plot a short story or an entire book. SCENE QUESTION EXAMPLE
- 10. Mindmapping brain dump - Write topic in page center, jot ideas to cover, connect logical ideas with lines - Also, for each chapter Book outlining List all the key points to cover overall theme and message. Storyboard Draw pictures of what’s covered in the book Scrivner tools Outline options* *Self Publishing School, https://self- publishingschool.com /11-ways-outline- book/ STEP 2: NONFICTION CONTENT
- 11. • Draw rough diagram • Pick best info • Organize in outline format, with Post-it notes, or index cards MINDMAP EXAMPLE
- 12. It is sensory-engaging for readers. Deep POV isn't simply active voice or showing rather than telling. Stay in the action. Climb into a character's skin and taste, feel, hear, and smell what they experience. Deep Point-of- View (POV) Tips from Michelle Massaro, assistant editor, Clash of the Titles STEP 3: F&NF COMPELLING WRITING
- 13. Delete the phrases: “she saw,” “he heard,” “They realized,” etc. They distance readers. No: She saw the clan of dragons rising over the horizon. Yes: The dragon clan rose over the horizon, a glimmering show of metalic scales. Just state the action. DEEP POV
- 14. What would you say in the situation where someone points a gun at your character? No: She was terrified. Yes: He planned to kill her. or She expected to die. Use realistic internal talk, stay inside the character’s head DEEP POV
- 15. Example: Anger No: He felt angry. Yes: He narrowed his eyes and restrained his tensed muscles from hurling his fist into the wall. Example: Love No: He realized he was in love with her. Yes: He closed his eyes and her lavender scent made his head spin. It filled him with the belief he could do anything if it meant being with her. Don’t label emotions DEEP POV
- 16. Describe: Knees buckling Chest tightening Throat clamping An adrenaline rush Goose bumps Nausea Dizziness Sweating Etc. Physical action/reaction Provide physical responses to pull the reader deep into the story. DEEP POV
- 17. When something happens, characters react in this order: Emotion “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing Review, logic, and reason What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? Anticipation What’s going to happen. What do I do? Choice What do I do? Who do I call? Emotional/ Sequential Reaction* • Emotion • Review, logic, and reason • Anticipation • Choice *http://jimbutcher.live journal.com DEEP POV
- 18. No: Steve was clearly angry. (telling) Yes: Steve clenched his hands until his knuckles whitened, and a tight muscle ticked along his jaw. (showing, fits deep POV) No: Preparations for the meal were underway. (telling) Yes: She pulled out the pot, filled it with water she'd pumped from the well, and dumped in the pre-peeled potatoes. (showing) Show, Don’t Tell Beauty is in the details. No broad brush strokes telling the action. Show how it happens! DEEP POV
- 19. Active verbs Not “to be” verbs (was, had, be, +) Active voice Not passive voice Word choice subliminally affects readers. They may not even know why they love or hate a story, but it’s often because of active verbiage choices. ACTIVE VERBIAGE
- 20. Inactive/"to be" verbs = is, was, has, have, be, been Active verbs: cheers, pray, binge, stumbles, stared Use active verbs to create a mental picture ACTIVE VERBS
- 21. Passive voice often uses inactive verbs followed by words ending in “-ed” or “-ing” Passive voice is cheering, are praying, have binged Active voice cheers, prays, binged It's the way we speak, but should not be the way we write. ACTIVE VOICE
- 22. Passive: They are misusing the forbidden spells and are undermining the elemental structure of both realms. Active: Their misuse of the forbidden spells undermines the elemental structure of both realms. In active voice, you start your sentences with the subject and use an active verb to describe what the subject does. ACTIVE VOICE EXAMPLES
- 23. Review the scene handout Rewrite it using the techniques of Deep POV and active verbiage Cheat sheet: Delete “she saw” Stay in character’s head Don’t label emotions Physical/emotional action/reaction Show don’t tell Sequential reaction Active verbs Active voice Read and spy the issues in the provided scene
- 24. When you know your tools, you can concentrate on content, not tech (and you make your editor happy) Format using Word’s “Home” menu bar and ruler Practice with “Search” and “Find and Replace” Take an online tutorial on Track Changes (see handout) STEP 4: F&NF LEVERAGE MS WORD MS Word tips to help ease editing and formatting
- 26. STEP 4: F&NF EDIT/FORMAT WITH EASE
- 27. Track Changes tutorials (see handout) MS Word tips for writers
- 28. Cntrl+B: bold Cntrl+I: italic Cntrl+S: save Cntrl+E: center text Cntrl+L: left align Cntrl+R: right align Cntrl+1: single spacing Cntrl+5: 1.5 spacing Cntrl+2: double spacing Cntrl+J: justify Cntrl+M: indent Cntrl+Shift+M: unindent Cntrl+T: hanging indent Cntrl+Shift+T: un-hang indent Easy formatting. See links on handout for more. MS WORD KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS
- 29. Get writing support... Words.Music.Village website http://ANVidean.com ann@annvidean.com
Editor's Notes
- Bio on screen Start with Back to Future story How many writing fiction? (mystery, fantasy, suspense) Nonfiction? (memoirs, biz, inspirational) Run three businesses all dealing with words and creativity and supporting young writers of all ages • Author and ghostwriter • Fae Environmentalist for AWEFPOW, author/illustrator of coloring book w/ writing prompts • Book shepherd (edit, publish, WOM) As editor, only some of the MSs I see actually sing Many authors don’t know how to make this happen Subliminal, visceral attachment when readers like a book Give you my best tips to really make a story “jump off page” In past sessions, audience requested longer session, so 2 hours, with time for practice and lots of questions. When raise my hand, we’re off topic or on a rabbit trail. Ask you to finish your sentence and we’ll move on…
- Title screen Start with good “bones.” Fiction: Even pantsers need a skeleton of ideas, especially overall story and character arcs. Nonfiction: outline or timeline Became highly aware of what made a good book when I read JB’s Dresden File series. Who’s read it? Compelled to pick apart stories to see what made them so fantastic Read every book (23) Found livejournal Discovered his mentor Deborah Chester Fantasy Fiction Formula, author 35 books, prof at UofO. Railed against formula. JB story to show her Their secrets work.
- DESCRIBE SLIDE FORMAT Main points to cover Step 1: Overall story and purpose Step 2: Developing content Step 3: Compelling writing Step 4: Edit/format for ease of reading Let’s talk about Step 1: Overall Story/Message
- Mini synopsis that gives you: Inciting incident Main good character The story’s overall goal Villain opposing character The conflict When something happens, your protagonist pursues a goal. But will s/he succeed when the antagonist provides opposition? An example…
- Has anyone not seen HP? Even you haven’t, read the story question and it gives you all the elements
- Per Author Unlimited Be clear, so you: • Stay on track with your purpose • Entice readers About must be clear, concise, and also interesting, or you’ll have huge problems later with comm, structure, and present material It’s about the future of HR. Is a far cry from, How 21st century digital privacy impacts the way HR professionals manage staffing problems. Purpose smaller and more measurable: • taking your business or life in a new direction • getting onto some podcasts to share your message • attracting a handful of well-qualified clients
- Take five to ten minutes to think through your overall story or message On to Step 2: Content
- You can draft an entire book outline/synopsis by using this scene question. Every scene, answer these four items POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER: Who has most at stake? GOAL: be specific CONFLICT (SCENE QUESTION): What happens to impede the goal? This happens between characters—not necessarily the antagonist and not external forces. SETBACK (SCENE ANSWER): Was the goal achieved? Generally, no, until end of story. Options: Yes. Boring. No. use sparingly, can frustrate reader, decrease character empathy Yes, but... complication No and furthermore... character makes matters worse Outlined book 2, skeleton allows creativity Tool for short pieces, my Faerie’s Tales An example…
- EXAMPLE Now know what whole story entails Plans for scenes Now, framework to insert into Fiction writer content…
- Per the Self Publishing School website: You can outline nonfiction (or fiction) several ways: • Mindmapping • Book outline • Storyboard • Scrivner Example…
- • Draw rough diagram, linking ideas • Pick best info • Organize in outline format, with Post-it notes, or index cards On to step 3… Compelling Writing, starting with Deep POV How many have heard about this from me before? Takes practice.
- V. Deep POV For both fiction and nonfiction Use anytime a person/character experiences something Four tips from Michelle Massaro, Assistant Editor Clash of the Titles Deep Point Of View is a writing style in high demand these days. Sensory-engaging technology raised the bar on what a consumer expects out of their favorite pastimes. In movies we've got digital 3D. For music, surround-sound. In video games, it's the motion-detection of the Wii. And for fiction we have Deep POV. But many authors aren't sure what it is or how to do it. The reader wants to climb into a character's skin— tasting, feeling, hearing, smelling what they do.
- Delete the phrase "s/he saw" ”heard" or "realized" Can't completely make them disappear, but mostly. Just state the action. The "saw" phrases distance the reader. You are describing the character interacting with the action rather than bringing the reader into it. She heard, she saw, she wondered. EXAMPLE
- Use realistic internal dialogue. Figure out what you would say to yourself if you were experiencing the scene, Then replace the pronouns with "s/he" (unless you're writing in first person, of course.) EXAMPLE
- Don't label emotions Vital to Deep POV. Delete from your mind the name we give to an emotion and simply describe it. EXAMPLES
- Provide physical action/reaction Once you lay out some strong internal dialogue and remove emotion labels, follow up with physical responses, fully described This will really pull the reader deep into the story, particularly in high-intensity moments. Emotion Thesaurus is an excellent resource
- IV. SEQUELS: SEQUENTIAL REACTION The way humans always react to stimuli. Every time something happens to character. Car accident example 1) Emotional reaction: Allows a character to react emotionally to a scene's outcome. “Oh, darn!” or teeth gnashing 2) Review, logic, & reason: allows a character to review facts and work through the logical options of his situation. What just happened? Was I at fault? Is anyone hurt? 3) Anticipation: allows a character to ponder probable outcomes to various choices. What comes next? What’s going to happen. What do I do? 4) Choice: allows a character to make a choice--ie, to set themselves a new GOAL for the next SCENE. What do I do? Who do I call? Now, with idea of reaction, help you write better characters Best way to make readers empathetic to characters -> deep POV
- Show, Don't Tell. Beauty is in the details. No broad brushstrokes telling the action. Show how it happens. EXAMPLES Have some concrete tips on Deep POV. Now move into some more nitty-gritty changes you can make while writing.
- Active verbiage Word choice subliminally affects readers. They may not even know why they love or hate a story, but it’s often because of active word choices. I want you to know this one small change in your writing—whether it's a book, marketing content, or even emails— will make your message jump off the page, and connect your reader to your message. When your message compelling, readers emotionally attach, they act (buy).
- Active Verbs Use active verbs to create a mental picture When you write with active verbs, your reader can more clearly visualize what’s happening in their minds emotionally attaches them to the story heightens their enjoyment in the reading.
- Learn more: Ann Videan blog "Writing" section: http://anvidean.com/2012/04/10/1-writing-tip-passive-vs-active-voice/ EXAMPLES
- In active voice, you start your sentences with the subject and use an active verb to describe what the subject does. What we covered • Deep POV • Active verbiage Practice...
- Practice for about 15 minutes: Delete she saw Stay in character’s head Don’t label emotions Physical/emotional action/reaction Show don’t tell Sequential reaction Active verbs Active voice Go through looking for one thing at a time Let’s talk about Step 1: Overall Story/Message
- As an editor I spend a lot of time formatting to be able to read things easily And to help set up for future layout Know your tools, so you can concentrate on content, not tech (and make your editor happy) Format using Word’s “Home” menu bar and ruler Practice with “Search” and “Find and Replace” Take an online tutorial on Track Changes
- To center or justify text, use “Home” menu bar To indent, use ruler. Move the arrows, If need to separate, use Shift key
- The Search field is your friend Upper right hand corner, type a word, it will appear everywhere in the doc. Use arrows next to search term to find next or last entry To replace a repeating word to something else, use Find & Replace Type in word to find in first field Type in replacement word in second field Replace ALL (be careful), or replace one Click on “Find” for next instance.
- If anyone else is going to look at your MS, learn to use Track Changes Set it up for each new document When on, it records all keystrokes, so you can see any edits
- How many people use keyboard shortcuts in Word? Here are a few. See handout links for full cheat sheets to print. If you need help contact me. I’m a power Word user.
- What we covered Step 1: Overall story and message Step 2: Developing content Step 3: Compelling writing Step 4: Leveraging Word Want you to have box of books. May need help. I’m available for Book Shepherding consultations Offer: Through October 15, 2018: 1.5-hr. consult 66% off... any topic to jumpstart your writing ANVidean.com Charity request for emerging writers/artists Storytelling book Visit AW.net