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Existential Courage: Working with conflict and crisis Prof Emmy van Deurzen University of Sheffield 1 July 2011
Emmy van Deurzen
Past ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Author of Books on Existential Psychotherapy and Counselling
Existential Supervision ,[object Object]
RECENT BOOK:  2009
2010: 1. Second Edition Everyday Mysteries 2. Skills in Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy
Existential Therapy ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
HUMAN CONDITION Existential therapy focuses on the way in which a person struggles with the human condition and in particular with our inevitable limitations and the limits of life.
Existential therapy is good in crisis or during periods of life change In the whirlwind of change we need to find steadiness, persistence and resilience
Change, conflict and crisis  will happen ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Anton Chekhov ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Aim of existential therapy. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Is this about finding enduring happiness ? ,[object Object],[object Object]
Onto-dynamics ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Balancing pros and cons after structural analysis
Both positives and negatives
What is paradox? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Making sense of life
Energy is the flow between two poles Source: kidzoneweather.com
Dialectics ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Dialectics Transcendence Thesis  Antithesis Synthesis
Dialectics:  transcendence in space Synthesis: a wider view future Thesis: my view (past ) Antithesis: your view (present)
Life as hero’s journey ,[object Object],[object Object]
Paradoxes of human existence
Human values rediscovered.   DESIRES FEARS VALUES PHYSICAL life death vitality SOCIAL love hate reciprocity PERSONAL identity freedom integrity SPIRITUAL good evil transparency
Exercise ,[object Object],[object Object]
Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence evd 10 Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred  God Soul Transcendence
You might try to play it safe and avoid catastrophes ,[object Object]
PERHAPS YOU THINK YOU WILL BE SPARED CRISES AND CONFLICTS? ,[object Object]
Transitions and Crisis.  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
[object Object],What does it mean to live well?
Camus: Sisyphus ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Being yourself ,[object Object],[object Object]
Buber’s encounter being with others ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Isolation ,[object Object],[object Object]
All living is relating ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred  God Soul Transcendence
Kierkegaard’s stages. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Kierkegaard’s definition ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
What is anxiety? The energy of life And energy can be used or can overwhelm you
To live is to be anxious ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Seasons and cycles of life ,[object Object],[object Object]
Between birth and death ,[object Object]
Wellcome exhibition: life before death, Walter Schells  Memento Mori
To live and to die
Eyes that see the world no more: finding peace
Living matters. Dying always comes sooner than we think. Life is short.  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Our life is  in flux ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Stages of a Woman’s life
Our lives are like the seasons or the birth of day and night.
Watching life go by ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Life is a journey: in both space and time ,[object Object]
Captain of your ship ,[object Object]
Tight fit: ,[object Object]
Taking shortcuts ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Nietzsche’s warning ,[object Object],[object Object]
Kierkegaard’s reflective living as the knight of faith can only happen if we live for real: we can only truly learn if we live it ,[object Object]
Attunement to what is (mindfulness)
Kierkegaard’s paradox ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Letting life in: being=breathing ,[object Object]
Heidegger’s project (Entwurf) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Anxiety turns to panic when action whirls in on itself and is blocked ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
When anxiety reaches towards its potential ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Connecting to the wave and tides ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Our life is like a river ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Recapturing radical FREEDOM ,[object Object],[object Object]
Sartre’s existential ethics There is no abstract ethics. There is only an ethics in a situation and therefore it is concrete. An abstract ethics is that of the good conscience. It assumes that one can be ethical in a fundamentally unethical situation . (Sartre, Notes For an Ethics:17)
Things to remember ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Conflicts and dilemmas  are essential ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Difficulties on four dimensions physical social personal spiritual Deficit Difference Dilemma Disorientation Disease Discord Deception (self) Delusion Desire Dominance Disappointment Doubt Dependence Dishonesty Dread Debt Dis-embodiment Dis-engagement Despondency Dissolution Death Destruction Distress Despair
Existential Space  Physical space Social space Personal space Spiritual space
Your own little sphere of existence matters
Imagine a person like a sphere
That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, moons and spheres
Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level.
If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution are paramount
If planet: orbit and position matter
Merleau Ponty: Visible and Invisible ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soul
Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and light
Solar anatomy
Layers of the sun ,[object Object]
Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
Merleau Ponty: soul ,[object Object]
Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
Dimensions of existence Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World.
Different perspectives ,[object Object]
Our emotions colour our worldview ,[object Object]
Emotions are our orientation. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrow shame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement
Emotional  Compass  1:Pride-confidence-arrogance 2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance 3:Anger-hate-despair 4:Fear-confusion-cowardice 5:Sorrow-misery-resignation Shame-emptiness-guilt:7 Envy-curiosity-aspiration:8 Hope-desire-resolve:9 Love-courage-commitment:10 Joy-thrill-excitement:11 6. Low  Despondency Depression Exhilaration Happiness 12:High Up gain Down loss
The colour of emotion
 
 
Depressed worldview
Compass of Physical Sensation Greed Stinginess Frustration Disgust Pain Need Craving Excitement Lust Pleasure Deprivation Emptiness Satisfaction Fullness Gain Survival Loss Threat
Compass of Social Feeling Care Jealousy Anger Fear Rejection Shame Envy Approval Love Acceptance Isolation Separateness Belonging Oneness Engagement Disengagement
Compass of Personal Thinking Superiority Stubbornness Defiance Deflation Humiliation Inferiority Anxiety Courage Commitment Confidence Imperfection Weakness Perfection Strength Success Failure
Compass of Spiritual Intuition Pride Prudence Wrath Resignation Disillusionment Guilt Aspiration Hope Resoluteness Bliss Futility Absurdity Meaning  Purpose Good Evil
Rising above your emotions ,[object Object],[object Object]
Tillich’s Courage to Be ,[object Object]
Integrating non being: Paul Tillich: 1886-1965  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Marcus Aurelius ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Meaning and Purpose ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Reclaiming your space Finding fluidity, peace    freedom and purpose.
Websites. www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.dilemmas.org www.nspc.org.uk www.septimus.info www.psychotherapytraining.net www.emmyvandeurzen.com Facebook/LinkedIn: Existential Therapy
Resilience ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
The negatives that are positives ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
How to understand trauma ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Victimization Physical Responsibility ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Homeostasis Social
Overcoming disaster ,[object Object]
What helps? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Breakthrough in stead of breakdown.  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Dialectics ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
The cycle of change ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Conflict is essential ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Friedrich Glasl’s  model of conflict. ,[object Object],[object Object]
Satir’s model of change ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond , ISBN 0831400781, Science and Behavior Books, 1991.
When is it worth fighting? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Phases of Crisis ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Resolution or Resignation ,[object Object]
Bullying at work ,[object Object]
What is bullying? ,[object Object]
Dual Concern Model ,[object Object]
Description of the 5 modes ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Susan Robson ,[object Object]
Abuse of Power ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Pressure Bullying ,[object Object]
Corporate Bullying ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Organisational Bullying ,[object Object]
Client Bullying ,[object Object]
Serial Bullying ,[object Object]
Becoming a target ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Standing by ,[object Object],[object Object]
Denial and Projection ,[object Object],[object Object]
Secondary bullying ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Tasks of grieving ,[object Object]
Making the most of crisis ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
The Look of the Other : adding insult to injury. ,[object Object],[object Object]
Competitive relationships ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Sartre’s later theory of human relations. ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Going forwards :The other as praxis ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Cooperative relationships ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
What helps? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Closure ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
The wounded healer ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
How to survive the trauma? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Simone de Beauvoir (08-86):  an ethics of ambiguity.  ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Four dimensions of life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
Dimensions of existence Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World.
OVERCOMING TRAUMA Spiritual: Integrate what has happened in world view Improve rather than give up values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Stick with what is true. Personal: Allow the event to strengthen your character Express thoughts and memories. Regain a sense of freedom in relation to adversity. Learn to yield as well as be resolute. Social: Seek to go beyond hateful and destructive relations by isolation and avoidance till Reconciliation is possible. Seek belonging with like minded allies. Communicate your emotions without reproach, resentment, bitterness. Physical: Seek safety when under threat.  Trust  and heed sensations of stress. Find natural environment that can soothe as  well as expand your horizons.
Four dimensions and trauma ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Making new connections ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Finding a way forward
Bibliography ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Dimensions and Tensions of Human Existence Desires Fears Physical Life pleasure Death pain Social Love belonging Hate isolation Personal Identity integrity Freedom disintegration Spiritual Good purpose Evil futility

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Existential courage

  • 1. Existential Courage: Working with conflict and crisis Prof Emmy van Deurzen University of Sheffield 1 July 2011
  • 3.
  • 4. Author of Books on Existential Psychotherapy and Counselling
  • 5.
  • 7. 2010: 1. Second Edition Everyday Mysteries 2. Skills in Existential Counselling and Psychotherapy
  • 8.
  • 9. HUMAN CONDITION Existential therapy focuses on the way in which a person struggles with the human condition and in particular with our inevitable limitations and the limits of life.
  • 10. Existential therapy is good in crisis or during periods of life change In the whirlwind of change we need to find steadiness, persistence and resilience
  • 11.
  • 12.
  • 13.
  • 14.
  • 15.
  • 16. Balancing pros and cons after structural analysis
  • 17. Both positives and negatives
  • 18.
  • 20. Energy is the flow between two poles Source: kidzoneweather.com
  • 21.
  • 22. Dialectics Transcendence Thesis Antithesis Synthesis
  • 23. Dialectics: transcendence in space Synthesis: a wider view future Thesis: my view (past ) Antithesis: your view (present)
  • 24.
  • 25. Paradoxes of human existence
  • 26. Human values rediscovered.   DESIRES FEARS VALUES PHYSICAL life death vitality SOCIAL love hate reciprocity PERSONAL identity freedom integrity SPIRITUAL good evil transparency
  • 27.
  • 28. Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence evd 10 Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred God Soul Transcendence
  • 29.
  • 30.
  • 31.
  • 32.
  • 33.
  • 34.
  • 35.
  • 36.
  • 37.
  • 38. Different dimensions of the four spheres of existence Umwelt Mitwelt Eigenwelt Uberwelt Physical survival Nature Things Body Cosmos Social affiliation Public Others Ego Culture Personal identity Private Me Self Consciousness Spiritual meaning Sacred God Soul Transcendence
  • 39.
  • 40.
  • 41. What is anxiety? The energy of life And energy can be used or can overwhelm you
  • 42.
  • 43.
  • 44.
  • 45. Wellcome exhibition: life before death, Walter Schells Memento Mori
  • 46. To live and to die
  • 47. Eyes that see the world no more: finding peace
  • 48.
  • 49.
  • 50. Stages of a Woman’s life
  • 51. Our lives are like the seasons or the birth of day and night.
  • 52.
  • 53.
  • 54.
  • 55.
  • 56.
  • 57.
  • 58.
  • 59. Attunement to what is (mindfulness)
  • 60.
  • 61.
  • 62.
  • 63.
  • 64.
  • 65.
  • 66.
  • 67.
  • 68. Sartre’s existential ethics There is no abstract ethics. There is only an ethics in a situation and therefore it is concrete. An abstract ethics is that of the good conscience. It assumes that one can be ethical in a fundamentally unethical situation . (Sartre, Notes For an Ethics:17)
  • 69.
  • 70.
  • 71. Difficulties on four dimensions physical social personal spiritual Deficit Difference Dilemma Disorientation Disease Discord Deception (self) Delusion Desire Dominance Disappointment Doubt Dependence Dishonesty Dread Debt Dis-embodiment Dis-engagement Despondency Dissolution Death Destruction Distress Despair
  • 72. Existential Space Physical space Social space Personal space Spiritual space
  • 73. Your own little sphere of existence matters
  • 74. Imagine a person like a sphere
  • 75. That person is located in a universe with other planets, stars, suns, moons and spheres
  • 76. Sphere as a planet or a cell: micro or macro level.
  • 77. If a cell: connection with other cells, function and internal constitution are paramount
  • 78. If planet: orbit and position matter
  • 79.
  • 80. You experience yourself as having a nucleus: a core, a heart or a soul
  • 81. Perhaps we are more like suns, generating heat and light
  • 83.
  • 84. Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
  • 85.
  • 86. Layers of a person’s life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
  • 87. Dimensions of existence Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World.
  • 88.
  • 89.
  • 90.
  • 91. pride jealousy anger- despair fear sorrow shame envy hope- desire love joy Sadness Low Happiness High Anxiety Excitement Engagement Depression Disappointment Disengagement
  • 92. Emotional Compass 1:Pride-confidence-arrogance 2:Jealousy-worry-vigilance 3:Anger-hate-despair 4:Fear-confusion-cowardice 5:Sorrow-misery-resignation Shame-emptiness-guilt:7 Envy-curiosity-aspiration:8 Hope-desire-resolve:9 Love-courage-commitment:10 Joy-thrill-excitement:11 6. Low Despondency Depression Exhilaration Happiness 12:High Up gain Down loss
  • 93. The colour of emotion
  • 94.  
  • 95.  
  • 97. Compass of Physical Sensation Greed Stinginess Frustration Disgust Pain Need Craving Excitement Lust Pleasure Deprivation Emptiness Satisfaction Fullness Gain Survival Loss Threat
  • 98. Compass of Social Feeling Care Jealousy Anger Fear Rejection Shame Envy Approval Love Acceptance Isolation Separateness Belonging Oneness Engagement Disengagement
  • 99. Compass of Personal Thinking Superiority Stubbornness Defiance Deflation Humiliation Inferiority Anxiety Courage Commitment Confidence Imperfection Weakness Perfection Strength Success Failure
  • 100. Compass of Spiritual Intuition Pride Prudence Wrath Resignation Disillusionment Guilt Aspiration Hope Resoluteness Bliss Futility Absurdity Meaning Purpose Good Evil
  • 101.
  • 102.
  • 103.
  • 104.
  • 105.
  • 106. Reclaiming your space Finding fluidity, peace freedom and purpose.
  • 107. Websites. www.existentialpsychotherapy.net www.dilemmas.org www.nspc.org.uk www.septimus.info www.psychotherapytraining.net www.emmyvandeurzen.com Facebook/LinkedIn: Existential Therapy
  • 108.
  • 109.
  • 110.
  • 111.
  • 112.
  • 113.
  • 114.
  • 115.
  • 116.
  • 117.
  • 118.
  • 119.
  • 120.
  • 121.
  • 122.
  • 123.
  • 124.
  • 125.
  • 126.
  • 127.
  • 128.
  • 129.
  • 130.
  • 131.
  • 132.
  • 133.
  • 134.
  • 135.
  • 136.
  • 137.
  • 138.
  • 139.
  • 140.
  • 141.
  • 142.
  • 143.
  • 144.
  • 145.
  • 146.
  • 147.
  • 148.
  • 149.
  • 150. Four dimensions of life. 4.Physical: Umwelt 3.Social: Mitwelt 2.Personal: Eigenwelt 1.Spiritual: Uberwelt
  • 151. Dimensions of existence Spiritual: Good/Evil Intuitions, values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Worldview/Ideas. Personal: Strength/Weakness Thoughts, memories, identity, freedom. Selfhood/Me. Social: Love/Hate Feelings, relations, belonging, acknowledgement. Communication/Others. Physical: Life/Death Sensations, actions, environment, body, things. Survival/World.
  • 152. OVERCOMING TRAUMA Spiritual: Integrate what has happened in world view Improve rather than give up values, beliefs, purpose, meaning. Stick with what is true. Personal: Allow the event to strengthen your character Express thoughts and memories. Regain a sense of freedom in relation to adversity. Learn to yield as well as be resolute. Social: Seek to go beyond hateful and destructive relations by isolation and avoidance till Reconciliation is possible. Seek belonging with like minded allies. Communicate your emotions without reproach, resentment, bitterness. Physical: Seek safety when under threat. Trust and heed sensations of stress. Find natural environment that can soothe as well as expand your horizons.
  • 153.
  • 154.
  • 155. Finding a way forward
  • 156.
  • 157. Dimensions and Tensions of Human Existence Desires Fears Physical Life pleasure Death pain Social Love belonging Hate isolation Personal Identity integrity Freedom disintegration Spiritual Good purpose Evil futility

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