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Empathy@Work
- 1. Empathy@Work Anu Ahluwalia December 2016 Thispresentation is a personal belief and opinion.
- 2. “THE VERY NEXTWORDS YOU SPEAK COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.” MARSHALL B. ROSENBERG, PH.D. FOUNDER, THE CENTER FOR NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION (COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION).
- 3. Empathy and Success Casestudies and articles • There is a direct link between empathy and commercial success. • 2015 Global Empathy Index - An HBR study showed that the top 10 companies in the 2015 Global Empathy Index increased in value more than twice as much as the bottom 10 and generated 50% more earnings.
- 4. 2016 Global EmpathyIndex Most Empathic Organizations https://hbr.org/2016/12/the-most-and-least-empathetic-companies-2016
- 5. The Journey isthe Destination at every moment • What if enjoying every moment and thriving became your new norm? Stop and smell the roses. • Make it to the finish line no matter what- leads to struggle and the belief that you must keep working hard to achieve success. It keeps us in strive or survival mode.
- 6. Culture of CARE “Nobodycares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Theodore Roosevelt
- 7. CARE Culture • Compassion •Awareness • Respect • Empathy
- 8. C.A.R.E. • A senseof opening with new awareness. • Realization that to honor each person's need is a more enriching, a more evolved way of being. • This awareness requires slowing down your mind and harnessing the beauty of the needs before coming up with a solution that meets all the needs. • This requires observing from a plain from where you can see everyone's needs including yours, put on the same page. • It's just smarter to CARE!
- 9. Sudoku Like in Sudoku,each number has its appropriate place in the puzzle and unless you put them in that place there will always be some conflict and the puzzle will not be complete. But once it is completed, it is satisfying and whole.
- 10. Empathy @ Work •It's essential for our progress as an individual and as an organization. • The art and science of empathy teaches us what matters most and why and to come up with the solutions which are more holistic and superior in every way.
- 11. Why is Empathyimportant at work? With empathy skills you can bring people together with deeper connection • develop understanding, care, trust, respect • build team spirit, boost morale, loyalty and productivity • reduce resistance and promote willingness to contribute • harness the power of the collective with a change in perspective to power with people rather than power over people
- 12. Habitual Reactions • Defensive/ Offensive • Judgment /Criticism /Blame / Denial of responsibility
- 13. An Alternate Choice- Empathy • Understanding your feelings and needs • Empower yourself by owning your feelings and needs • Guess other’s feelings and needs • Know that they are responsible for their feelings and needs
- 14. No one canmake you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt
- 15. NVC’s Key Principles 1.All human beings have the same needs 2. All our actions are an attempt to meet our needs 3. Everyone’s needs matter 4. We can take full responsibility of our feelings and actions 5. All human beings experience joy of giving 6. Strategies are plan of action to meet the needs 7. Conflict can arises in strategies not in needs 8. There are many ways to meet the needs
- 16. 4 Components ofCommunication NVC has 4 basic components • Observation • Feelings • Needs • Request
- 17. Communication Process Notice Feeling(s) Makean Observation (without Evaluation) to see or hear what triggered the feelings Pleasant Feeling (means that Need(s) met) Unpleasant Feeling (means Need(s) NOT met) Situation/Event Guess Needs that are being met Guess Needs that are NOT being met Is there a Request to keep meeting your needs? Is there a Request to get the need met? Empathy or self-empathy happens here
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- 19. Observation vs. Judgment •Observation is what you see or hear without any analysis. (like a camera taking a picture) • Judgment is what you see or hear and mix it with your feelings and evaluations /opinions based on past experience. Generally has a should or shouldn’t hidden in it. Judgment blocks communication
- 20. Feelings • Feelings aresensation you feel in your body. (see feelings list) • Bringing awareness towards our feelings is the key to understanding ourselves. • Your body has the wisdom to reflect the truth • Say if you feel angry, check where you feel it, and what sensations you are experiencing.
- 21. Feelings You may needempathy to recognize your feelings and underlying needs
- 22. Non-feelings • I feeldisrespected. • I feel unappreciated • I feel like you don’t care. • I feel misunderstood. • I feel worthless. • I feel you don’t like me. • I feel like a Million dollars!
- 23. Needs • Needs areessentially things we all want in our life (Refer to Needs List) • Needs are the source of energy of life which motivates us to act. • Needs are universal for all human beings • All our actions are an attempt to meet our needs
- 24. Needs Radar • Ourbodies have a radar for needs • When are needs are met, we feel satisfied and may experience happiness, joy, peaceful… in general we feel good!! • When are needs are not met, we feel unsatisfied and may experience sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, disturbed… in general we feel bad!
- 25. What is Empathy? Empathyis the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing. Empathy is a capacity to provide safe, supportive, non judgmental presence in order to connect to another person’s feelings to help to bring to light their underlying needs. Empathy is about a depth or quality of connection. It is about true listening; to hear or see the person's feeling and needs and not necessarily the details of their story.
- 26. What is notEmpathy? • Empathy is not agreeing with the person • Give advise • Sympathize • Belittle the issue • Expectation to do something to help • It is about non-judgmental presence with the person, a curiosity to connect and understand what the person is feeling and needing
- 27. Purpose of givingand receiving Empathy For person receiving Empathy • Being heard and understood • Clarity, deeper self understanding • Choice (on how to proceed, instead of reacting habitually) • Healing • Coming up with the best strategy to meet the need and making a clear request For the person giving Empathy • Connection and being present • Clarity (checking to see if you see their feelings and needs) • Recognizing interdependence (consciously valuing ours and others needs)
- 28. Giving and ReceivingEmpathy • Giver - While giving empathy, your focus is on the other person to explore their feelings and needs in a non-judgmental way. • Receiver – While receiving empathy your focus is on exploring your feeling and needs in a non-judgmental way.
- 29. Things to watchout for during Empathy • Always inquire and not assume as true • You are angry huh!… • instead, are you feeling angry? • Try not to analyze or get curious about the story by asking questions about the story. • Oh my! then what happened? What did you do? • Instead, listen and guess their feeling and needs and not be distracted by the story. • Suggesting strategies or advise (since you may a have a need to contribute) • maybe you can do this…? • Instead, focus on helping them identify their needs, strategies will follow automatically from the true needs. • Sympathizing or agreeing with the receiver • Oh no! that must be awful… • Instead, stay with listening to the feelings and needs – are you feeling awful and want some support? • Taking the attention away from the receiver by relating to something similar from your life • That happened to me too! You think you had it bad, wait till you hear my story. • Instead, refocus on the receiver’s feelings and needs and curiousity to understand them. • Making the situation look small • You think you have it bad? People don’t have food to eat think about the positive in your life.
- 30.