The document contains 100 short passages related to DevOps culture, practices, and humor. Many passages joke about tensions between development and operations teams, the benefits of automation and continuous delivery, as well as popular DevOps tools and concepts.

1. 1© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

2. 2© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRING ME THE DEV AND THE OPS
TEAMS. THEY WILL ALL SUFFER
FOR THIS OUTAGE.

3. 3© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
I KNOW WHERE THE LOGS ARE
LOCATED, AND I WILL USE THEM
AGAINST YOU.

4. 4© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY
CONFIG FILE?

5. 5© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND I THOUGHT,
OH LORD! THEY
STILL DEPLOY
MANUALLY.

6. 6© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’LL DO THAT POST-MORDEM
RIGHT AFTER I CHANGE MY SHOES

7. 7© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM…
DEVOPS 3.6 ISN’T COVERED IN
OUR ENTERPRISE ELA.

8. 8© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
60% OF THE TIME
DEPLOYMENTS WORK
EVERYTIME!

9. 9© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FEATURES FALL OUT ALL THE TIME.
SOFTWARE IS AN IMPERFECT PLACE.

10. 10© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

11. 11© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANY OF YOU DEVS
TOUCH MY NETWORK…
…AND I’LL KILL YOU

12. 12© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANDY CRAWLED THRU 300 PAGES
OF THE FILTHIEST DOCS…
THE LIKES OF WHICH I CAN ONLY
IMAGINE

13. 13© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KNOW CONTAINERS
AREN’T NEW
JUST THOUGHT I’D MENTION IT

14. 14© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THAT RIGHT THERE IS MUCK!
THERE IS A TREMENDOUS
BUILD UP OF TECHNICAL DEBT

15. 15© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH
HERE IS A COMPLETE LACK OF
RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY

16. 16© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU’RE GOING INTO PRODUCTION
WITH A TOOL CALLED PIG?

17. 17© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU CAN CENTRALIZE MY CONFIGS
BUT DON’T TAKE MY STAPLER

18. 18© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HUGOPS IS UNCOMFORTABLE?
YOU MAD BRO?

19. 19© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BEEROPS, EH?

20. 20© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
READY FOR THE
STANDUP

21. 21© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRO, THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE
FOR A DAILY STANDUP

22. 22© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
APPS ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT OPS IS
GONNA GET

23. 23© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY FROM SCRIPT, VERY BAD. GO
TO THE BOX, 2 MINUTES, YOU FEEL
SHAME. THEN YOU FREE.

24. 24© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
COME TO THE
DARK SIDE
WE HAVE
GANTT CHARTS

25. 25© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE GREATEST
TRICK THE DEVIL
EVER PULLED, WAS
MAKING US
BELIEVE THAT
DEPLOYING APPS
WAS EASY

26. 26© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

27. 27© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I SHOULD LEARN DEVOPS

28. 28© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I’M DOING

29. 29© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO ME, ANDREW CLAY SHAFER
AND PATRICK DEBOIS…
…WERE SITTING AROUND
INVENTING DEVOPS

30. 30© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OH, WE’VE GOT BOTH KINDS…
DEVS AND OPS
WHAT KIND OF “IT” DO WE HAVE
HERE?

31. 31© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD
TALKED TO ME ABOUT DEVOPS

32. 32© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOW OLD ARE YOU McLOVIN?
OLD ENOUGH TO DEVOPS

33. 33© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T DO DEVOPS, KID.
YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT.

34. 34© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO SECURITY IN
YOUR DEVOPS?

35. 35© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG
DAY TO STOP DEVOPS’ING

36. 36© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

37. 37© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE THE DEVOPS SCARY?

38. 38© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS…
I LOVE YOU,
YOU LOVE ME,
WE’RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY

39. 39© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THERE’S NO CRYING IN
DEVOPS!

40. 40© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE YOU INHIBITED ABOUT
DEPLOYING IN PUBLIC?

41. 41© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IF YOU’VE
EVER DUCT
TAPED
SCRIPTS
TOGETHER
YOU MIGHT BE A
DEVOPS
REDNECK

42. 42© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT
JOHN WILLIS?

43. 43© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EPHEMERALS INSTANCES. DEVS AND OPS
LIVING TOGETHER. MASS HYSTERIA!!

44. 44© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND CALL THE VIDEO…
“JIMMY KIMMEL, I TOLD MY BOSS
THAT WE’RE STARTING A DEVOPS
TEAM”

45. 45© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE 1ST RULE OF DEVOPS CLUB
IS TO CONTINOUSLY DEPLOY
INTO PRODUCTION

46. 46© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
USE CONFIG MANAGEMENT
AND AVOID MAYHEM…
LIKE ME!

47. 47© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OVER? THE DEPLOYMENT’S OVER?
NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL
WE SAY IT IS!

48. 48© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SHOW ME, VAGRANT UP

49. 49© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY EARLY AND OFTEN
PUSH IT, PUSH IT REAL GOOD!!

50. 50© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FELLAS, COME ON. THE DEVOPS
NEEDS MORE COWBELL!

51. 51© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS CULTURE – BE NICE TO
TEAMMATES

52. 52© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DO YOU HAVE A PAY PHONE
NEARBY? PAGERDUTY JUST
CALLED.

53. 53© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME UNLESS
IT’S ON SLACK!

54. 54© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

55. 55© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
IS COMING
BRACE YOURSELF

56. 56© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IT’S CALLED THE
TEST AND SHIP
WORKS
EVERY TIME

57. 57© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BYE GOLDEN IMAGE!

58. 58© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
DEVOPS EVERYWHERE

59. 59© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
• DIP
• DUCK
• DODGE
• DEVOPS
• DIVE

60. 60© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE DEVOPS IS NICE! YES?

61. 61© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LEARN TO DEVOPS AND
BE SOMEBODY!

62. 62© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LOVE
BEARDED
PEOPLE!!

63. 63© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS – SO HOT RIGHT NOW!

64. 64© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I CAN’T HELP
THAT PEOPLE
ARE JEALOUS
OF ME BECAUSE
I AUTOMATE
ALL OF THE
THINGS

65. 65© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN BUSINESS IS
SLOW, I SPRINKLE
DEVOPS ON IT AND
BE AWESOME INSTEAD
TRUE STORY…

66. 66© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
10 DEPLOYS A DAY!!

67. 67© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU USING
CHEF?
CHEF, PUPPET,
WHATEVER IT TAKES

68. 68© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDEOPS

69. 69© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DIESELOPS

70. 70© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD
I DON’T THINK IT MEANS WHAT
YOU THINK IT MEANS

71. 71© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY
GO FULL DEVOPS

72. 72© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FINALLY,
DEVOPS IS
ABOVE THE
LAW

73. 73© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY IT 3
TIMES!
DEVOPS
DEVOPS
….
DEVOPS!

74. 74© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY DEVOPS
ONE MORE TIME

75. 75© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

76. 76© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
RED, I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN
GET DEVOPS DONE.
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT?

77. 77© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS? TRUST ME, I’M A
PROFESSIONAL.

78. 78© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPPULENCE?
I HAS IT

79. 79© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IMMORTALITY JUST 6 LETTERS
AWAY
D-E-V-O-P-S

80. 80© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I WANT TO ANNOUNCE MY DEVOPS
PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY!!

81. 81© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EVERY SERVER DIES. BUT NOT EVERY
SERVER TRULY LIVES. APPS HAVE
BEEN GIVEN NOTHING. DEVOPS
MAKES THEM WHAT THEY TRULY ARE.

82. 82© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’RE GONNA MAKE THE OPS TEAM AN
OFFER THEY CAN’T REFUSE

83. 83© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WORKED FINE IN DEV
OPS PROBLEM NOW

84. 84© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LET’S JUST DROP A TINY LITTLE
LOAD BALANCER IN THERE. JUST
LIKE THAT.

85. 85© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THEY WANTED MORE AGILITY,
SO WE SOLD THEM $2M IN TOOLS

86. 86© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
CHAIRS! GOTTA GET CHAIRS IN
THE NEXT DEVOPS TOOLS ELA!

87. 87© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DEVOPS,
NAPOLEAN?
WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT! GOSH!

88. 88© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I DON’T ALWAYS DEPLOY TO
PRODUCTION
BUT WHEN I DO… LMAO, WHO AM
I KIDDING, I ALWAYS DO

89. 89© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LIKE TO PARTY AND I
WANT MY DEVOPS TO PARTY

90. 90© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

91. 91© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IF
WE HAVE TO WAIT

92. 92© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WEBSCALE?
WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE
DEVOPS

93. 93© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FIRED YOUR EXISTING TEAM AND
REPLACED THEM WITH A DEVOPS
TOOL?
THAT MUST BE GOING WELL

94. 94© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU
LIKE DEVOPS
SO I PUT DEV IN YOUR OPS SO YOU
CAN DEV WHEN YOU OPS

95. 95© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
JUMP THIS DEVOPS HATERS!

96. 96© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO DEVOPS IN THE 1960’s
SO HOW ABOUT A SCOTCH?

97. 97© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO WHAT?
SO LET’S DEVOPS!

98. 98© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS
BUT DEVOPS AIN’T ONE

99. 99© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A
DEVOPS

100. 100© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.