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Janet L Parnes, Etiquette Consultant
Social Conversation
& Professional-Presence Expert
Conversation Keys: Build Relationships to
Boost Your Business or Career
Professional Presence
Manner or appearance that makes people
notice that you are there. It conveys a sense
that you are 100 percent aware of the
situation around you. With presence, people
notice you and feel you’re paying attention
to them.
Mike Clayton
Professional Presence
Valued
Understood
Heard
Listening
Verbal Communications
Body Language
Digital Communications
Emotional Intelligence
Cultural Intelligence
Skills
Listening
One of the most sincere forms
of respect is actually listening
to what another has to say.
Bryant H. McGill
The Forgetful Factor
50%
one hour
75%
24 hours
90%
one week
Art Kohn, Learning Solutions
Whole-Body Listening
Relate & Reflect
Dave: “I’m nervous about our meeting
with Client W tomorrow. It can make or
break us!”
Sophie:
1 “Not to worry! I got this!”
2 “The client has raised some
concerns. I think we’re prepared to
address them.”
3 “This meeting can make or break
us. How about meeting in an an hour
to tie up any loose ends?”
Did you hear me?
“No man ever listened his way out of a job."
President Calvin Coolidge , “Silent Cal”
Verbal Communications
Small Talk
Light, easy
Fluff stuff
Lubricate the
Conversation
Ease
Common ground
Question:
How are you?
Response:
Small-Talk Starters
Keep it Light
Occupation
Recreation
Create common ground
Small Talk – Brain Benefits
Ability to “ignore distractions, remember important
things, make decisions and monitor ourselves.”
Professor Oscar Ybarra, U Michigan
Verbal Spices
Repeat
Short
Resonate
Dave:
“I’m nervous about our meeting with
Client W tomorrow. It can make or break
us!”
Sophie:
“This meeting can make or break us.
How about meeting in an an hour to tie
up any loose ends?”
Did you hear me?
Pause
Digest
Reflect
Commas
Meetings
You were
there?
Meetings
Soft voice
Loud vs. projected
Natural confidence
Networking
Preparing
Integrating
Navigating
Interruptions
Hand over or handle
Make eye contact
“Let’s address that
once I’ve finished.”
Be Proactive
“I have three points
to make.”
Tarnish Your Presence
Stealing the Spotlight
Talking about ourselves with others activates areas of brain
associated with motivation and reward
Talking about ones self is intrinsically rewarding,
even if no one is listening.
Harvard University study
Stealing the Spotlight
Fran: “It’s been a tough week. I’ve been getting ready
for the conference.”
Joe: “Tell me about it! I’ve was up ‘til midnight researching…”
Stealing the Spotlight
• Listening
• Small talk
• Repeat
• Voice projection
• Stealing spotlight
“It has long been
an axiom of mine
that the little things
are infinitely the
most important.”
Arthur Conan Doyle,
The Memoirs of Sherlock
Holmes

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