This document discusses the importance of communication, forgiveness, and understanding between couples according to Islamic teachings. It highlights several key points:
1) The Quran and teachings of Prophet Muhammad emphasize the importance of communication and consultation between spouses for a healthy marital relationship.
2) However, empirical studies have found a lack of communication, dialogue, and understanding present in many Muslim marriages.
3) The document identifies several common reasons for this absence of communication, including ignorance of its importance, busy lifestyles, past negative experiences, and a mistaken belief that actions alone demonstrate love and care for one's spouse.
4) It stresses the central role of open communication for problem-solving, maintaining intimacy,
If you can nurture a spirit of “we’re in this together and must find our solutions together” as you navigate this crisis, you’ll be greatly strengthened for the journey. If you can view your spouse as vulnerable, fragile, and in need of your love, you’ll grow in empathy toward each other, creating a powerful bridge.
sweet love and its risk. By Taiwo Justice Olorunlana Lynn University
The book is designed and scheme for everybody who want to discover the secret of the true relationship and maintains the immutable relationship with their lover. To be candid, there is no crown without a cross likewise, there is no advancement or fitness without testing. To determine a true relationship unless you faces and overcomes trial of loves. This is undeniable story of Mr. Peter and his girlfriend who change his life for bad to better.
Marriage is all about love, kindness, patience and staying grounded. These four things promote a healthy relationship by encouraging understanding, keeping the lines of communication open and making sure both spouses feel loved, understood and supported. This is why you need wisdom in marriage.
If you can nurture a spirit of “we’re in this together and must find our solutions together” as you navigate this crisis, you’ll be greatly strengthened for the journey. If you can view your spouse as vulnerable, fragile, and in need of your love, you’ll grow in empathy toward each other, creating a powerful bridge.
sweet love and its risk. By Taiwo Justice Olorunlana Lynn University
The book is designed and scheme for everybody who want to discover the secret of the true relationship and maintains the immutable relationship with their lover. To be candid, there is no crown without a cross likewise, there is no advancement or fitness without testing. To determine a true relationship unless you faces and overcomes trial of loves. This is undeniable story of Mr. Peter and his girlfriend who change his life for bad to better.
Marriage is all about love, kindness, patience and staying grounded. These four things promote a healthy relationship by encouraging understanding, keeping the lines of communication open and making sure both spouses feel loved, understood and supported. This is why you need wisdom in marriage.
SituationProblem in Pastoral Counseling George and Agn.docxedmondpburgess27164
Situation/Problem in
Pastoral Counseling
:
George and Agnes are faithful members of their local congregation and have been Christians and served the Lord for many years. George has pastored a few small churches and is now the associate pastor of a large, diverse, multi-cultural congregation. George and Agnes are in their early fifties, having raised four children, all of whom are now adults and established in various professions, including one son and one daughter who are in full time ministerial positions in other locations. Another son is a successful businessman and their fourth and youngest son is a high school teacher. Their three older children are married with families and live outside of the medium-sized metropolitan area in which their parents reside. All four children accepted Jesus Christ as Savior at an early age and have been active in various church activities and ministries throughout the years of their youth.
George and Agnes’ fourth son, Connor, is in his mid-thirties and is single. He has kept in close touch with his parents, since he lives and works in the same community and also attends their church. He has been active in the choir, in visitation ministry and in helping with youth ministry. Recently, their youngest son shared with his parents that, for many years, he has had a same-gender attraction. He explained to his parents that he has never shared these feelings with anyone in the family, or with any of his former pastors. Although he said that he tried to ignore or deny these feelings while growing up, by being active in school sports and by dating the opposite sex in high school and college, for much of his adult life he has suffered much inner conflict and depression concerning his inner feelings of attraction to other men. At one, time, unbeknownst to his parents, he met for several months with a qualified counselor, hoping that his feelings would change, but this did not occur. Although he has not counseled with a pastor, he has prayed often about this conflict throughout the years, often with many tears. He shared with his parents his deep sense of “living a life” of having to “cover-up” his feelings; of fearing that others would conclude the truth about him, since he is in his thirties and not married. When people, even his parents or siblings have asked him about marriage and setting down—having a family, he has always answered the question with a light answer, smiling and saying, “Well, I just haven’t met the right women yet.” He has come to the point of avoiding people who try to “fix him up” with a particular young woman they may know, hoping to make a match. His deep conflict, he shared with his parents, stems from his upbringing in a conservative Christian context that spoke vehemently about the sin of homosexuality and yet struggling without success to change his own feelings concerning same-sex attraction. He has felt shame, depression, anger, loneliness, feelings of alienation, deep depression at .
Example Research PaperMarital CommunicationMarriage is a.docxSANSKAR20
Example Research Paper
Marital Communication
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. After the beautiful wedding and the amazing honeymoon, reality sets in. Are you really right for this person? Here is your test; you have to live with them for the rest of your life and be happy with your decision. How do you do it? Communication. Communication is the simultaneous sharing and creating of meaning through symbolic interaction (Seiler & Beall, 2008, p. 3). You and your spouse will see all sides of each other, the pretty angel and the ugly monster they can be at times. Conflicts are going to rise and you will have to know how to deal with them without separating. Results indicate that those who divorce experience a decline in psychological well-being (Waite, Luo, & Lewin, 2009). Therefore, communication is key to a happy marriage. Within this paper, you will find out about different attachment styles relating to marriage, marital conflicts, and how to deal with those conflicts. I will include information from studies performed as well as tell what I have learned about communication while researching marital communication.
Attachment Styles and Marriage
In psychology, there is a theory that explains the bond between an infant and its caregiver, Attachment theory. There are three different types of bonds. The secure style which includes a comfort with intimacy and lack of anxiety, the avoidant style which includes discomfort with intimacy and difficulty depending on others and last the anxious-avoidant style which has a desire for extreme intimacy but high anxiety (Dainton, 2007, p. 284). Dainton’s study of 68 men and 111 women with the average marriage length being 15 years and the samples average ages being around 42 years, suggests that the attachment style one had with their caregiver continues through life with one’s spouse in the form of relationship maintenance. Relationship maintenance is defined as the “behaviors enacted in order to keep a relationship in a preferred state or condition” (Dainton, 2007, p. 284). They were asked to fill out a survey about attachment styles and maintenance behavior.
The results of this study are that maintenance communication might be a central mechanism linking attachment and satisfaction (Dainton, 2007, p. 292). It was found that secure attachment style was linked to a positive and happier relationship. It led to a positive expression of emotion and better conflict management. The avoidant style saw relationships as a bad thing. They saw no rewards and viewed them as a way to be emotionally hurt. Therefore, they kept their relationship in a “back-off” state and kept their emotions to themselves.
Therefore, according to this article, the way one was attached to their caregiver can affect the way that one treats a relationship. If someone had a secure attachment then they are more likely to be willing to talk about their emotions as to someone who had an avoidant attachment who would not w ...
Getting Ready for Marriage - A 7 Day Reading Plan - By Jim Burns and Doug FieldsDavid_C_Cook
Taken from their book "Getting Ready for Marriage," join
relationship experts Jim Burns and Doug Fields as they help you start planning now for your lasting union.
Finances, in-laws, communication, forgiveness, sexual expectations,
no topic is off-limits as you and your fiancé get ready to step from engagement into a life-long covenant to each other.
ILMU CORO. Living in today's modern era, one of the characteristics of the modern concept of life is to prioritize reason and material things or something tangible that can be seen clearly so that it leads to materialism. Living in today's modern era, one of the characteristics of modern people's concept of life is to prioritize ratios or reason and material things or something that can be seen with the eyes of all that leads to a materialistic lifestyle. For this reason, modern people who are like that result in something that is not real, mysterious, supernatural, or invisible to the senses of the eye, they become very weak, lack belief, or even do not believe at all. In fact, if you observe in this life of various kinds, we often encounter and experience, apart from what can be seen or seen by the eye, many things that are not real, are mysterious, which cannot be reached by our minds, we experience them even more often. As a small example of something mysterious that cannot be accepted by common sense, that is when healthy people suddenly die, rich people suddenly become poor, or suddenly there is the Covid 19 virus and many more. Therefore, it is not appropriate or not appropriate if in dealing with many things in life if we only rely on reason or if our minds are not capable or very limited and believe it or not believe it is undeniable.
The existence of lifestyle of most modern postal society focuses more on reason and everything that can be seen with the eye is real or materialistic in responding to solving all things in living life in this world, including matters of romance, love, relationships of the opposite sex or looking for a life partner. also inseparable from such a concept. In matters of romance or looking for a life partner, modern society is oriented towards materialism and is limited to the eyes of each other, causing not a few couples to end up in the middle and far away from the words of harmony, eternity and tranquility in a romantic relationship or family.
To be able to have harmony, peace, tranquility, and eternity in a married relationship is not only limited to abundant material and having a beautiful and handsome partner and so on, but the most important are factors that cannot be seen or are supernatural such as sincerity, and love. dear and most fundamentally more to the religion of divinity, namely to follow the commands of ALLAH SWT to worship God Almighty. for more depth about the main key to having a harmonious, calm, peaceful, and lasting family until the end of the day, here are the tips:
Tips on longevity and harmony in a family relationship include:
A.A clean, sincere heart and the intention to worship Allah SWT in a relationship with a partner.
So that the heart can always be clean, sincere, and sincere by always being close, obedient, or diligent in worshiping Allah SWT and the media in worshiping Allah SWT is wrong by having a marriage relationship so that you can obtain a harmonious.
Spark The Flame of love All over With These Relationship Revival Tools.Inside this e-book you will discover the topics about need of relationships,making your husband wife relationship stronger,improving adolescent 6 steps to strengthening your relationships secrete of strong and healthy families and things to avoid break ups.
“Discover How You Can Rekindle The Feelings Of Love And Live Life Like It Used To Be Back Then!”
These Hidden Techniques Will Teach You How To Spice Things Up Again And Get Her/Him Back To You!
Is free-mixing allowed within cousins?
What does Islam say about working with people of the opposite gender?
What about work socials and group study?
And the big one – where does Islam stand on my relationship with my fiancé?
Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them...
...And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty."
[Surah al-Noor: 30-31]
Find out all the answers with your host Sheikh Musleh Khan in this Webinar Presenation where Sheikh Musleh will guide you through the Islamic relationship rules of work, family, friends and fiancés!
SituationProblem in Pastoral Counseling George and Agn.docxedmondpburgess27164
Situation/Problem in
Pastoral Counseling
:
George and Agnes are faithful members of their local congregation and have been Christians and served the Lord for many years. George has pastored a few small churches and is now the associate pastor of a large, diverse, multi-cultural congregation. George and Agnes are in their early fifties, having raised four children, all of whom are now adults and established in various professions, including one son and one daughter who are in full time ministerial positions in other locations. Another son is a successful businessman and their fourth and youngest son is a high school teacher. Their three older children are married with families and live outside of the medium-sized metropolitan area in which their parents reside. All four children accepted Jesus Christ as Savior at an early age and have been active in various church activities and ministries throughout the years of their youth.
George and Agnes’ fourth son, Connor, is in his mid-thirties and is single. He has kept in close touch with his parents, since he lives and works in the same community and also attends their church. He has been active in the choir, in visitation ministry and in helping with youth ministry. Recently, their youngest son shared with his parents that, for many years, he has had a same-gender attraction. He explained to his parents that he has never shared these feelings with anyone in the family, or with any of his former pastors. Although he said that he tried to ignore or deny these feelings while growing up, by being active in school sports and by dating the opposite sex in high school and college, for much of his adult life he has suffered much inner conflict and depression concerning his inner feelings of attraction to other men. At one, time, unbeknownst to his parents, he met for several months with a qualified counselor, hoping that his feelings would change, but this did not occur. Although he has not counseled with a pastor, he has prayed often about this conflict throughout the years, often with many tears. He shared with his parents his deep sense of “living a life” of having to “cover-up” his feelings; of fearing that others would conclude the truth about him, since he is in his thirties and not married. When people, even his parents or siblings have asked him about marriage and setting down—having a family, he has always answered the question with a light answer, smiling and saying, “Well, I just haven’t met the right women yet.” He has come to the point of avoiding people who try to “fix him up” with a particular young woman they may know, hoping to make a match. His deep conflict, he shared with his parents, stems from his upbringing in a conservative Christian context that spoke vehemently about the sin of homosexuality and yet struggling without success to change his own feelings concerning same-sex attraction. He has felt shame, depression, anger, loneliness, feelings of alienation, deep depression at .
Example Research PaperMarital CommunicationMarriage is a.docxSANSKAR20
Example Research Paper
Marital Communication
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. After the beautiful wedding and the amazing honeymoon, reality sets in. Are you really right for this person? Here is your test; you have to live with them for the rest of your life and be happy with your decision. How do you do it? Communication. Communication is the simultaneous sharing and creating of meaning through symbolic interaction (Seiler & Beall, 2008, p. 3). You and your spouse will see all sides of each other, the pretty angel and the ugly monster they can be at times. Conflicts are going to rise and you will have to know how to deal with them without separating. Results indicate that those who divorce experience a decline in psychological well-being (Waite, Luo, & Lewin, 2009). Therefore, communication is key to a happy marriage. Within this paper, you will find out about different attachment styles relating to marriage, marital conflicts, and how to deal with those conflicts. I will include information from studies performed as well as tell what I have learned about communication while researching marital communication.
Attachment Styles and Marriage
In psychology, there is a theory that explains the bond between an infant and its caregiver, Attachment theory. There are three different types of bonds. The secure style which includes a comfort with intimacy and lack of anxiety, the avoidant style which includes discomfort with intimacy and difficulty depending on others and last the anxious-avoidant style which has a desire for extreme intimacy but high anxiety (Dainton, 2007, p. 284). Dainton’s study of 68 men and 111 women with the average marriage length being 15 years and the samples average ages being around 42 years, suggests that the attachment style one had with their caregiver continues through life with one’s spouse in the form of relationship maintenance. Relationship maintenance is defined as the “behaviors enacted in order to keep a relationship in a preferred state or condition” (Dainton, 2007, p. 284). They were asked to fill out a survey about attachment styles and maintenance behavior.
The results of this study are that maintenance communication might be a central mechanism linking attachment and satisfaction (Dainton, 2007, p. 292). It was found that secure attachment style was linked to a positive and happier relationship. It led to a positive expression of emotion and better conflict management. The avoidant style saw relationships as a bad thing. They saw no rewards and viewed them as a way to be emotionally hurt. Therefore, they kept their relationship in a “back-off” state and kept their emotions to themselves.
Therefore, according to this article, the way one was attached to their caregiver can affect the way that one treats a relationship. If someone had a secure attachment then they are more likely to be willing to talk about their emotions as to someone who had an avoidant attachment who would not w ...
Getting Ready for Marriage - A 7 Day Reading Plan - By Jim Burns and Doug FieldsDavid_C_Cook
Taken from their book "Getting Ready for Marriage," join
relationship experts Jim Burns and Doug Fields as they help you start planning now for your lasting union.
Finances, in-laws, communication, forgiveness, sexual expectations,
no topic is off-limits as you and your fiancé get ready to step from engagement into a life-long covenant to each other.
ILMU CORO. Living in today's modern era, one of the characteristics of the modern concept of life is to prioritize reason and material things or something tangible that can be seen clearly so that it leads to materialism. Living in today's modern era, one of the characteristics of modern people's concept of life is to prioritize ratios or reason and material things or something that can be seen with the eyes of all that leads to a materialistic lifestyle. For this reason, modern people who are like that result in something that is not real, mysterious, supernatural, or invisible to the senses of the eye, they become very weak, lack belief, or even do not believe at all. In fact, if you observe in this life of various kinds, we often encounter and experience, apart from what can be seen or seen by the eye, many things that are not real, are mysterious, which cannot be reached by our minds, we experience them even more often. As a small example of something mysterious that cannot be accepted by common sense, that is when healthy people suddenly die, rich people suddenly become poor, or suddenly there is the Covid 19 virus and many more. Therefore, it is not appropriate or not appropriate if in dealing with many things in life if we only rely on reason or if our minds are not capable or very limited and believe it or not believe it is undeniable.
The existence of lifestyle of most modern postal society focuses more on reason and everything that can be seen with the eye is real or materialistic in responding to solving all things in living life in this world, including matters of romance, love, relationships of the opposite sex or looking for a life partner. also inseparable from such a concept. In matters of romance or looking for a life partner, modern society is oriented towards materialism and is limited to the eyes of each other, causing not a few couples to end up in the middle and far away from the words of harmony, eternity and tranquility in a romantic relationship or family.
To be able to have harmony, peace, tranquility, and eternity in a married relationship is not only limited to abundant material and having a beautiful and handsome partner and so on, but the most important are factors that cannot be seen or are supernatural such as sincerity, and love. dear and most fundamentally more to the religion of divinity, namely to follow the commands of ALLAH SWT to worship God Almighty. for more depth about the main key to having a harmonious, calm, peaceful, and lasting family until the end of the day, here are the tips:
Tips on longevity and harmony in a family relationship include:
A.A clean, sincere heart and the intention to worship Allah SWT in a relationship with a partner.
So that the heart can always be clean, sincere, and sincere by always being close, obedient, or diligent in worshiping Allah SWT and the media in worshiping Allah SWT is wrong by having a marriage relationship so that you can obtain a harmonious.
Spark The Flame of love All over With These Relationship Revival Tools.Inside this e-book you will discover the topics about need of relationships,making your husband wife relationship stronger,improving adolescent 6 steps to strengthening your relationships secrete of strong and healthy families and things to avoid break ups.
“Discover How You Can Rekindle The Feelings Of Love And Live Life Like It Used To Be Back Then!”
These Hidden Techniques Will Teach You How To Spice Things Up Again And Get Her/Him Back To You!
Is free-mixing allowed within cousins?
What does Islam say about working with people of the opposite gender?
What about work socials and group study?
And the big one – where does Islam stand on my relationship with my fiancé?
Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them...
...And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty."
[Surah al-Noor: 30-31]
Find out all the answers with your host Sheikh Musleh Khan in this Webinar Presenation where Sheikh Musleh will guide you through the Islamic relationship rules of work, family, friends and fiancés!
"Understanding the Carbon Cycle: Processes, Human Impacts, and Strategies for...MMariSelvam4
The carbon cycle is a critical component of Earth's environmental system, governing the movement and transformation of carbon through various reservoirs, including the atmosphere, oceans, soil, and living organisms. This complex cycle involves several key processes such as photosynthesis, respiration, decomposition, and carbon sequestration, each contributing to the regulation of carbon levels on the planet.
Human activities, particularly fossil fuel combustion and deforestation, have significantly altered the natural carbon cycle, leading to increased atmospheric carbon dioxide concentrations and driving climate change. Understanding the intricacies of the carbon cycle is essential for assessing the impacts of these changes and developing effective mitigation strategies.
By studying the carbon cycle, scientists can identify carbon sources and sinks, measure carbon fluxes, and predict future trends. This knowledge is crucial for crafting policies aimed at reducing carbon emissions, enhancing carbon storage, and promoting sustainable practices. The carbon cycle's interplay with climate systems, ecosystems, and human activities underscores its importance in maintaining a stable and healthy planet.
In-depth exploration of the carbon cycle reveals the delicate balance required to sustain life and the urgent need to address anthropogenic influences. Through research, education, and policy, we can work towards restoring equilibrium in the carbon cycle and ensuring a sustainable future for generations to come.
UNDERSTANDING WHAT GREEN WASHING IS!.pdfJulietMogola
Many companies today use green washing to lure the public into thinking they are conserving the environment but in real sense they are doing more harm. There have been such several cases from very big companies here in Kenya and also globally. This ranges from various sectors from manufacturing and goes to consumer products. Educating people on greenwashing will enable people to make better choices based on their analysis and not on what they see on marketing sites.
Improving the viability of probiotics by encapsulation methods for developmen...Open Access Research Paper
The popularity of functional foods among scientists and common people has been increasing day by day. Awareness and modernization make the consumer think better regarding food and nutrition. Now a day’s individual knows very well about the relation between food consumption and disease prevalence. Humans have a diversity of microbes in the gut that together form the gut microflora. Probiotics are the health-promoting live microbial cells improve host health through gut and brain connection and fighting against harmful bacteria. Bifidobacterium and Lactobacillus are the two bacterial genera which are considered to be probiotic. These good bacteria are facing challenges of viability. There are so many factors such as sensitivity to heat, pH, acidity, osmotic effect, mechanical shear, chemical components, freezing and storage time as well which affects the viability of probiotics in the dairy food matrix as well as in the gut. Multiple efforts have been done in the past and ongoing in present for these beneficial microbial population stability until their destination in the gut. One of a useful technique known as microencapsulation makes the probiotic effective in the diversified conditions and maintain these microbe’s community to the optimum level for achieving targeted benefits. Dairy products are found to be an ideal vehicle for probiotic incorporation. It has been seen that the encapsulated microbial cells show higher viability than the free cells in different processing and storage conditions as well as against bile salts in the gut. They make the food functional when incorporated, without affecting the product sensory characteristics.
Epcon is One of the World's leading Manufacturing Companies.EpconLP
Epcon is One of the World's leading Manufacturing Companies. With over 4000 installations worldwide, EPCON has been pioneering new techniques since 1977 that have become industry standards now. Founded in 1977, Epcon has grown from a one-man operation to a global leader in developing and manufacturing innovative air pollution control technology and industrial heating equipment.
WRI’s brand new “Food Service Playbook for Promoting Sustainable Food Choices” gives food service operators the very latest strategies for creating dining environments that empower consumers to choose sustainable, plant-rich dishes. This research builds off our first guide for food service, now with industry experience and insights from nearly 350 academic trials.
different Modes of Insect Plant InteractionArchita Das
different modes of interaction between insects and plants including mutualism, commensalism, antagonism, Pairwise and diffuse coevolution, Plant defenses, how coevolution started
Characterization and the Kinetics of drying at the drying oven and with micro...Open Access Research Paper
The objective of this work is to contribute to valorization de Nephelium lappaceum by the characterization of kinetics of drying of seeds of Nephelium lappaceum. The seeds were dehydrated until a constant mass respectively in a drying oven and a microwawe oven. The temperatures and the powers of drying are respectively: 50, 60 and 70°C and 140, 280 and 420 W. The results show that the curves of drying of seeds of Nephelium lappaceum do not present a phase of constant kinetics. The coefficients of diffusion vary between 2.09.10-8 to 2.98. 10-8m-2/s in the interval of 50°C at 70°C and between 4.83×10-07 at 9.04×10-07 m-8/s for the powers going of 140 W with 420 W the relation between Arrhenius and a value of energy of activation of 16.49 kJ. mol-1 expressed the effect of the temperature on effective diffusivity.
Presented by The Global Peatlands Assessment: Mapping, Policy, and Action at GLF Peatlands 2024 - The Global Peatlands Assessment: Mapping, Policy, and Action
1. Communication, Forgiveness, and
Understanding Between Couples
Ahmad M. Abdullah
Any careful study of the Holy Quran would reveal that the Quran has given tremendous
weight to marital relationships. The goal of the Quran is to instruct Muslim couples in matters
related to running this sacred relationship economically, socially and sexually. The Prophet’s
Sunnah has also come to compliment this process through the Prophet’s actions. Allah says in
the Holy Quran (30:21), “And among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from
among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy
between your (hearts). Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” In studying this verse, I
found out that among the most important aspects related to marital life is the issue of
communication and consultation.
“And among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye
may dwell in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy between your (hearts).
Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Quran (30:21)
At the outset, I believe that communication is central to a healthy marital life. It is the main
source of tranquility, love, and the continuity of marital life. The absence of communication
builds up to conflict that, which then could possibly end the marital life. The Quran reminds
us that nursing a child is an important matter where both parents have to communicate and
consult with each other. Allah says, “The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two
years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and
clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear.
No mother should be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his
child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way, if they both decide on weaning by mutual
consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster
mother for your offspring there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye
offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do
(2:233).”
The Prophet’s Sunnah is full of cases where he (PBUH) showed his behavior and conversation
with his wives on matters related to life and religion. He (PBUH) says that the good wife is
the one that obeys her husband when he asks her to do something. The good wife is the one
that if her husband swears that she do something, she do it. She is the one that if her
husband travels, she protects herself, their home and his wealth. The Prophet did not intend
to advocate a type of life where the husband is always absent, always issuing orders, but he
2. meant the kind of loving and caring husband who consults and communicates well with his
wife.
Empirical studies that have been done on Muslim marital lives have found a totally different
image than what the Quran and the Sunnah have stated. There is an absence to
communication, dialogue, and conversation. Both parties show violence and lack of wisdom.
There are many reasons for the absence of communication between the two parties:
1- An ignorance and disregard for the importance of dialogue. Studies have found out that
there is an absence of realization that communication is the essence of material life. There is
also a misunderstanding that communication is a sign of weakness that makes one party
ignore the other. We are not talking about marital secrets. We are talking about some
husbands and wives resorting to isolationism from each other. Some husbands may not
consult their wives, believing that they are incapable of taking part in a conversation with him
on issues related to their martial life, the household, or public affairs. If this is the case, he
should realize that he was mistaken when he had chosen her as his wife and companion.
These men and partners forgot the Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) when he came to umm
Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) and told her about a situation that had happened
with the companions. He told her that he ordered his companions to slaughter their sheep
and relax from Ihram, but none of them did so. She came up with a remarkable solution for
the Prophet and the Muslims. She asked him to be the example by being the first one to
slaughter and relax from Ihram. She felt that if he led by example, they would follow him and
that is what happened. The Prophet (PBUH) did not want Allah to punish his companions for
being disobedient to him. However, it is a mistake to think that communication means total
harmony or always being quiet. However, fear of further disagreements should not stop
people from communicating with each other. Communication is the vehicle for problem
solving as well as the path to wisdom and healthy relationships.
2- Being busy and daily-life burdens. Parents come home exhausted from long days at work.
The husband comes home so tired. The mother comes home to do housework, help the
children in their needs, prepare dinner, etc. She comes back from a tiring job to do tiring
work at home. The issue gets worse when one of them is absent for a long time, such as
traveling abroad for study or work. We had a case where a wife was not at ease in joining her
husband who had been absent for five years. She only used to see him one month out of
every year. She continued to say that she felt they were drifting apart from each other. She
felt that they had become strangers living with each other temporarily despite the fact that
they have children. I said to her, “It seems to me as if you have not gotten married yet!”
Being married means living with each other, sharing compassion, love, and respect to each
other. Marital life is not only making love to each other and having kids.
3- Previous experiences and communication. Previous experiences have an impact on
communication. In some cases, the husband or wife may not communicate with his/her
3. partner based on a failed previous communication attempt. Thus, the wife may not consult or
attempt to communicate with her husband in fear of being ignored as before. The husband
may also not communicate with his wife because she does not listen, is talkative,
misunderstands him, or does not react to his attempts. The solution to these problems is
communication itself. However, the party who shut the door of communication before should
initiate it. We also should remember that communication is a mutual process, and it needs
continuous work.
4- The belief that action speaks louder than words. The general atmosphere of the marital life
is love, which is a complex set of interrelated components. In the premarital stage, both
parties express this love through words, flowers, gifts, letters, pictures, flirting etc. After
marriage, partners may resort to silent expressions of love. Thus, they prefer to be silent and
take actions without communicating their intention, believing that actions are enough. In
fact, it is not.
One of the notable issues before marriage is long phone calls for hours and hours. However,
they say that there is nothing to talk about when they get married. That is not healthy or
accurate. Communication and dialogue sometimes means the other party cares and tries to
understand and communicate. Silence means a “cold” relationship. Cold intensifies and
makes a mountain of ice that gets bigger and bigger. Coldness leads to the attempt of one or
both parties to find warmth outside the marital relationship. Some people mistakenly
understand from the Prophet’s hadeeth that says, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Day of
Judgment should either say good things or keep silent.” The intention of the Prophet is not to
create a culture of silence on the familial and societal levels. In fact, the communication that
is absent at our homes is also absent from the society at large on political, economic, media,
and social issues. Communication and dialogue should start in the homes. It should be spread
first among the members of the family, and then extend to the greater society after that. This
is a healthy marital life, and the healthy societies.
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