- The author grew up in a Pentecostal Christian family with frequent arguments between his parents, which negatively impacted his development and mental health as a young child. - His older brother helped shield him from their parents' conflicts and provided nurturing care, instilling virtues of compassion and kindness. This support from his brother was crucial to his wellbeing. - As he got older, he struggled with feelings of isolation, defensiveness, and low self-worth due to experiencing his parents' persistent arguments without understanding why. This early childhood environment shaped his views and behavior for many years.

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Keith Husband
Prof. Munson
Exploring Leadership
Personal Leadership Philosophy
In my immediate family, I AM the youngest of three siblings, with the closest
difference to my twelve-year-older brother, and a fourteen-year-older sister. The three of
us were reared with Pentecostal faith, which in some ways added to a challenging
childhood, yet, it also protected me to some extent. At age 5, business was as usual
between family members. What I and nobody else knew though, were the effects that
my parent’s common conflict had on my character. Compared to the quality times I had
with my brother, whom instilled nurture, play, and consideration, the value of
community, loving kindness, compassion, and peace. My brother supported the best
interests by shielding me from the negative influence of my parent’s arguments, but
nobody understood the implications that would follow in a lengthy process of internal
suffering in later years.
The time came for my brother to move out and my mother took the brute of the
responsibilities. Moms are the backbones for their children, especially at the young age
of seven; this brought reality to a critical transition in my life. It was going to be a new
phase in life ignited with frustration. I not only didn’t have my brother around to protect
me from our parent’s conflict, but I also didn’t understand why the arguments persisted.
In this way, I slowly became reclusive and defensive because I thought it could have
been my fault. “Please, don’t come down on me, I didn’t do anything.” I AM fragile, but
also authentic when expressing loving kindness, compassion, and peace towards people.
This virtue was an attribute that came direct from my brother, which I believe he gained
and learned his values from my mother. She has always been a comforter and has
always nurtured me unconditionally and she holds no grudges or resentments. My

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father on the other hand, looks to find fault with practically everything, and doesn’t
leave well enough alone when someone does something wrong. In this way, he has been
my greatest challenge, but I embrace my life’s challenges with optimism after
experiencing peace psychology. My determination to finish any race is a strength I’ve
achieved with the support of my father, brother, and mother. Life has more peace when
you can embrace the challenges of living, and the Peace and Global Studies Program
has supported me in revealing who I really am to myself and the world.
During the time of developing a sense of self, which is generally within the first
three years, many factors in a family can significantly alter a person’s character and
change one’s perspective towards people and life. A young one is fragile, and as humans
we need to remain flexible, but to do so means we adapt to the incomprehensible acts of
those we’re around the most, and yet don’t even realize the extent of what is happening
neurologically. Why can’t you stand to be around someone, and at the same time can’t
be without them? Simple bonding factor partakes in the networking of the brain with
the support of hormonal response.
My mother has told me several times when I was about 12, "I don't know what I
would've done without your brother, if it wasn’t for him helping me raise you early on, I
couldn't have made it around your father." I don’t remember my sister being around
much unless I got hurt, or to see her on occasions at church. At church is where our
family was able to come together in community to enjoy quality time on Sabbath. My
mother says my sister wasn’t around because she didn’t intend to help out with me, and
being once a teenager, I can say that’s most likely the reason why we haven’t been very
close until recent years. I’m willing to bet my father has never changed my diaper. My
brother on the other hand, I know is the one who gave me most of the attention. It was
through his modeling of good virtues that fertilized my life, seeding foundations for
healthy attachments to be present. Time together with my mother and brother
supported wholesome attributes of love and compassion to flow through our family

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dwelling. I am an ambassador of peace because of my mother and brother’s union with
God; their virtues come play viable roles in connections with community, friends,
companions, peers, or teachers. In this way, is why there’s a shared appreciation for love.
A shared expression of loving kindness in the masculine and feminine forms instilled
the androgynous characteristic in early childhood, and became a reality of my current
perceptions after psychology 1.
My experience in Exploring Leadership and psychology courses, and reading
numerous literature brings greater awareness of strengths that promote relational
leaderships. Strength is in numbers, so it is essential to embody a genuine concern for
someone, and therefore the basis for connecting communities is building community.
This early support was love at its best, and my brother Kenneth and mother together
have portrayed needs for compassion, which is why I believe I have such a strong sense
of empathy, and am sympathetic to people’s feelings. My compassion is for those who
have yet to understand a need for etiquette. The authenticity that’s displayed between
family members can have dramatic effects on a person’s psyche. More perceptions,
conditioning, and beliefs change because of hormonal responses initiated through
bonding. Ahh, (oxytocin) offers more feeling than can be uttered into words.
I have gone through several years filled with many experiences that lots of
people wouldn’t care to admit or talk about, and have had some interesting revelations
since I became a born again Christian, but none of my experiences were as apparent
until after starting college. I have been an active participant in 12 step recovery
programs since 96’, and I mention that because it involves self-examination (Svādhyāya)
and reflection time, not to mention I’ve been involved with individual and group
counseling and discussions. In this way, I received a deeper appreciation for people and
developed a greater value one’s truth. By expressing compassion for others in similar
situations offers me a deeper understanding to the spirit we all have and need early on
in life to develop a sense of virtue. I wouldn’t have understood that spirit again and fully

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comprehended the extent of my parent’s disputes, if I hadn’t registered in psychology
courses at Butte. I know now that these disputes and disagreements were a form of
structural violence, which had implications on my young mind-brain connections,
especially in critical years of maturation. Living with a steady diet of unresolved conflict
causes traumatic affects like developing an inferiority complex. The only thing I ever
wanted between them was peace. I just couldn’t understand why the arguing happened
in the first place. It was usually something insignificant too like arguing over the food.
Experiences with father taught me the value of honesty in relationships.
Particularly with the way people hide habits from others when their ashamed. My
father’s expression and desire for truth is an admirable trait for people that remain
faithful and genuine like my mother. My father has always been a dedicated and
hardworking man, and displayed his leadership qualities as a head of the cabinet shop at
the Plant Operations department on Chico State University campus. During this time, I
was in grade school and my father was working two jobs so there wasn’t much time for
me. He seemed to be tired all the time; I guess this is why we watched more movies in
my later years of adolescents. On the weekends when my father didn’t go to work, we
spent part of Saturday’s doing yard work, or other maintenance around the house. My
father’s dedication has helped me understand the value of hard work, but I wanted more
father son fun time, not more work.
My brother Kenneth, on the other hand, was the best support for me when it
came to playtime. I know after many pages of self-reflection that much of my leadership
qualities and strength’s came from Kenneth. He pays particular attention to detail and
has always been on point with any task at hand. My brother takes into consideration a
person’s time by keeping his word and doing his best on every job, and it’s usually ahead
of schedule. I’ve never seen or heard my brother raise his voice to anyone inside or
outside the family in a threatening manner, even when they may have taken advantage
of a situation. It’s kindness like his that exhibits compassion through understanding. Just

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like the time I thought for sure that my brother was going to kick my Cousin Mark’s ass
for taking me to a bar at 13 years old to have my first drink. To me this was wrong and I
value my brother’s concern for assertive communication in matters without inflicting
violence. My brother is one the most upstanding men I have ever known and I admire
his honest, compassionate, assertive nature.
Living with Christian morals protected me for a longtime from some darkness in
the world, but where there was significance came from how these morals were modeled.
My father influenced me by verbalizing his moral concerns, but his actions spoke louder
than words, when it came to the way he treated my mother. My father’s disgruntled
behavior seemed like a daily ritual and it not only created separation between my
parents, but it also influenced bad behavior to witness, which changed everything for me
morally, and that left an open door for bad judgment against religion. This limited my
perspective within such a diverse and cultured society. I segregated people because of a
different culture. It was if they weren’t as good as me; if they weren’t honest then they
didn’t deserve respect; if they weren’t born comfortable in their sexuality, then they
weren’t worthy of kindness, and people were simply avoided. This stereotypical behavior
shaded my view on the world, thus limited my understanding to the underlying factors
that causes such diversity in the first place. We are all here to serve and support one
another with compassion and love, not cast out judgment against the one’s we believe
have no purpose to be here. For this reason, I don’t claim a religion now. I consider
myself connected; mind-body and spiritual come in unity to achieve true mystical
connections. I AM free from dogmatic behaviors and beliefs that tarnish religions. They
serve a purpose to connect us all with the divine “one”, but without understanding
science and “one” won’t see the full aspect of reality.
Other experiences that have shaped my values were going through a marriage,
having a child and getting divorced during years of using. Nobody can understand what
they really value until after someone or something has been taken away. In order to

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value being on top, sometimes you need to experience what life’s hitting on the bottom.
I served my ex-wife Shayna very well for the most part. I valued to be a reliable,
hardworking, faithful, and loving partner, but our problem was that I couldn’t be
respectable by being completely honest with Shayna about my smoking pot. The only
reason it became an issue in the first place was after two years we decided to go too far
on Valentine’s Day 2000. I wasn’t quite ready to settle down in some ways and yet I was
making small adjustments in other aspects of my recovery.
During this time I had started on a methadone maintenance program to get away
from pills and pot so I could rationalize an unhealthy attachment to my fiancée. I didn’t
want to feel forced into quitting anything and after being confronted on three separate
occasions by Shayna, it was like getting struck out in a baseball game. Yes, you could say
our marriage was a game partially from her perspective, because I couldn’t tell her that
I had only slowed down. I never intended to lie to her in that way at all. After you’ve
been caught once, it’s like crying wolf, and intentions lose potency. I appreciated her
perspective, but her values towards pot became an issue since she hadn’t fully
understood the implications or benefits after only trying it a few times with me. I had six
years of use on her at that time, plus she was six years younger than me when she
started, which was the same age that I got into smoking it, so of course our views were
unequally yoked; on top of that, she was also a virgin when we got together and I wasn’t.
There have been many messed up relationships in my past that have influenced the
greater need for equality.
My purpose for discipline had to come from somewhere in my relationship with
my ex-wife, and that time it was to remain faithful, adaptable, responsible, fun & playful.
These were the values that supported what I felt were sufficient ways to love, but
without the full context of truth in communication, and inevitably all hell will break
loose. Lack of communication just leads to uncertainty, doubt, and resentment.
Relationships require ethical practice. “May there be no more suffering for anyone

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please.” My intentions were definitely not what they are today that’s for sure, but I have
also come 11 years March 27th
from that relationship. This experience has changed my
purpose to contribute a strong moral concern of truth in supporting healthy
connections. In order to gain another’s respect, that requires “one” to be an open book. A
life of pages is waiting to be read, with chapters full of dictions that can reflect on an
experience with compassion, empathy, love and understanding.
Another big change for me was with the beliefs against claiming a religion. I’ve
always valued inclusiveness, and will always love that about the church. I also appreciate
the time around diverse cultured people, and our nature is meant to be compassionate
and understanding, which nurtures with truth and love, and church, is ethical support
for society. Where problems become a concern, are from within diverse families of
various cultural beliefs. All religions offer different moral standards of what “one” can
and can’t do, and in many ways, this will attribute to a person’s character traits. Religion
also promotes changes in one’s perspective that sees an influence differently in society,
and that serves to support one another’s virtue in an already diluted belief. Who are we
to criticize though? We would really only be criticizing ourselves. Norms will continue
to depreciate one another, while growing with intensity will inevitably morph society
within every generation. Awareness absolutely critical and crucial for being the change
you wish to see in this world.
The first time I realized my leadership potential came from being like a big
brother to my friends around the age of 13. I may not have seen myself as a leader like
some Army general, ceo, or governor, but I AM a leader in being consistent, respectable,
and trustworthy protector for my brothers. It felt good to be looked up to. I developed
my strength for process orientation when I received my first paper route. Delivering
newspapers on a bicycle was a detailed task for me that I pursued and sustained to
perfection all but six months of my 2 and a half years employed. My style offered
money to support power with my friends, while my customers greatly appreciated my

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polite, devoted, honest, and kindhearted conscience. While I was around my peers my
style supported a way that is inclusive to the needs of others, with or without money. I
don’t mind being friends with anyone. It was other kids that didn’t know why I had such
an open heart, but in my inferiority my heart was festering with malcontent over those
who made me feel like an outcast. I gave into peer pressure once and beat up a kid in
the fourth grade. I had been called names and made fun of until junior high started, and
I know the act of being intimidated explained to me how bad I wanted to feel worthy. In
order for me to hang with the cool kids, my responsibility was to initiate a new kid, and I
had never fought anyone before this event occurred. I have never felt right about it
since. This is why I value non-offensive ways of communication and enjoy listening to
someone’s story, in order to prevent making rash decisions over something not fully
understood yet. It’s true that one can be the master or disaster of their own future within
narrow minded beliefs. I believe religion protected me in a way because it kept me from
socializing with certain individuals. The kids at school must have thought religion had
something to do with me being so happy, but as it turned out I was made fun of over my
hair, my last name, and the clothes I wore. I would have to say that I was very tolerable
to a lot’s of kids, but their discrimination also caused me to become repulsive to the
one’s that didn’t appreciate others.
I can see all the aspects of leadership in my life, but the most prevailing of my
leadership is to be mindfully aware to the reality of things. Awareness is the key for
supporting a strong leadership. How can anything change without an awareness of what
was wrong? Any further virtues that support leadership come from being aware of them,
and that’s a process of orienting the mind, especially when it comes to how one informs
someone else like my 13 year old daughter Sabrina. Teaching her about the ways people
will lie about their drug use, in order to protect their character cultivates a stronger
bond in our relationship today. To be wise is to discern between what can or cannot, and
what should or shouldn’t be said or done, in order to be considered non-offensive,

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respectable, truthful, compassionate, and empathetic. In my past demise and current
understandings develops Sabrina’s appreciation for the virtues that support a more
ethical way of living.
My purpose for leadership is to be empathetic because it supports a way to be
inclusive of everyone in my community or on my team. This provides a reason to work
alongside others in collaboration over the values we intend to flux into society. My
purpose is to express value of a person by acknowledging their upright contributions.
This purpose develops an appreciation for members to grow inclusive of each other, and
supports a style that is ethical in expressions of a mutual loving kindness. Kindness is an
expression of compassion, and this becomes the virtue between colleagues, friends, and
scholars, that provides purpose for the aptitude of everyone.
The stage that I AM currently on is between the differentiated interdependent
stage and the Generativity interdependent stage. I AM an active follower that loves to
explore ways new skills that are applicable in my community. The values of trust and
respect are enough to recognize the difference between being independent and
interdependent. When it comes to making effective changes in the community, but I
aspire to do more within my involvement. I desire for everyone to understand leadership
is a continual process that involves commitments to one’s own growth. I crave for the
endurance to engage with my peers and friends at their different stages, in order to
increase our overall strength together, and I yearn for everyone’s happiness in all
matters. I have a passion to making sustainable changes that support any environment,
and seek to obtain a deeper understanding of peer relationships. I realize that everyone
is a leader and contributes without having a formal position or title. I want to
understand all aspects of leadership more, and to do so one needs a balance of routine
self-reflection. In this way, I can help reveal others strengths easier and can focus my
attention on my listening and communicating skills, and that supports a relational and
inclusive leadership, which acknowledges in sharing the glory with its members.

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Of course, I aspire for the Integration/Synthesis interdependent stage. I have
realization that my commitment is for lifelong learning, and I do take care of others
better than I would myself, and I AM being the change I wish to see in the world.