This patient presented with progressive weakness, cough, chest pain, and nausea. Physical exam revealed dry mouth, crackles in the lungs, and a heart murmur. Labs showed hypercalcemia, alkalosis, and renal failure. The differential included malignancy, hyperparathyroidism, immobilization, myeloma, and milk-alkali syndrome. The history of heartburn, Tums use, and milk consumption supported a diagnosis of milk-alkali syndrome. Treatment involved hospitalization, hydration, diuresis, discontinuing calcium, and consultation for possible dialysis. Milk-alkali syndrome results from excessive calcium and alkali ingestion and can be prevented by limiting calcium intake.