McDonnell & Mehta_ 2016_We could never just be friends

We Could Never Be Friends: Representing Cross-Sex Friendship on
Celebrity Gossip Web Sites
Andrea McDonnell
Emmanuel College, Boston, MA
Clare M. Mehta
Emmanuel College, Boston Children’s Hospital,
and Harvard Medical School
Can men and women be “just friends?” Existing scholarship on cross-sex friendship in
the field of psychology is mixed, with some literature suggesting that men and women
cannot be friends and other literature suggesting that they can. Media representations
of cross-sex friendships often reference the homosocial norm, which contends that
members of the same sex prefer to spend time with one another and implies that
relationships between members of the other sex are necessarily sexual (Rose, 1985).
Despite this, few studies have examined the nature of cross-sex relationships in the
popular media. This study examines the textual features of 391 cross-sex narratives
appearing on three popular celebrity Web sites (TMZ, PerezHilton, and Celebuzz)
between January and June 2012. Two hundred eleven (59%) of the stories sampled
contained either speculation or a rebuttal of speculation about whether or not 2
individuals were romantically involved, with particular attention given to relationships
between coworkers and ex-lovers. One hundred twenty-nine (33%) of the stories
featured feuds, antagonism, and/or stalking and abuse engaged in by members of the
other sex. These findings suggest that celebrity Web sites reinforce the homosocial
norm by continually presenting cross-sex relationships as either romantic or antago-
nistic in nature.
Keywords: cross-sex friendship, celebrity, online gossip, gender roles, homosocial norm
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we
could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is—and this
is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form—is
that men and women can’t be friends because
the sex part always gets in the way.
On June 26th, 2012, essayist, director, and
screenwriter Nora Ephron, perhaps best known
for her iconic 1989 film, When Harry Met Sally,
died at the age of 71. The next day, in an article
for Salon.com, staff writers Mary Elizabeth
Williams and Willa Paskin debated whether or
not Ephron’s film had permanently “ruined”
male–female friendship. Williams wrote:
The “will they or won’t they,” “should they or
shouldn’t they” device has been with us always, but it
was “When Harry Met Sally” that fully articulated this
idea that men just always want to nail you, and women
just always really want you to be their boyfriend—
therefore you can’t really trust each other to be friends.
Which is such a massive [lie] . . . You can be friends.
And the perniciousness of this idea that you can’t has
been one of the all-time worst things that ever hap-
pened to heteros.1
Can men and women actually be friends? Or
must they be “more” than friends, or nothing at
all? In the present study, we investigate how
nearly 25 years since Harry Burns and Sally
Albright canoodled their way into the American
zeitgeist, mediated representations of cross-sex
relationships reflect our understanding of the
possibilities and limits of male/female friend-
ship. Specifically, we investigate contemporary
1
Did Nora Ephron’s “When Harry Met Sally” ruin male–
female friendship? Mary Elizabeth Williams & Willa
Paskin. Jun 27th 2012, http://www.salon.com/2012/06/27/
did_nora_ephrons_when_harry_met_sally_ruin_malefemale_
friendship/
This article was published Online First August 18, 2014.
Andrea McDonnell, Department of English, Emmanuel
College, Boston, MA; Clare M. Mehta, Department of Psy-
chology, Emmanuel College, Boston, MA, Boston Chil-
dren’s Hospital, and Harvard Medical School.
Correspondence concerning this article should be ad-
dressed to Andrea McDonnell, Department of English,
Emmanuel College, 400 The Fenway, Boston, MA,
02115. E-mail: mcdonnella@emmanuel.edu
ThisdocumentiscopyrightedbytheAmericanPsychologicalAssociationoroneofitsalliedpublishers.
Thisarticleisintendedsolelyforthepersonaluseoftheindividualuserandisnottobedisseminatedbroadly.
Psychology of Popular Media Culture © 2014 American Psychological Association
2016, Vol. 5, No. 1, 74–84 2160-4134/16/$12.00 DOI: 10.1037/ppm0000032
74

representations of cross-sex friendships in the
mass media as they appear on celebrity gossip
Web sites.
Cross-Sex Friendships in the Media
The mass media serve as influential story-
tellers, shaping our ideas about the world and
our experience of it. This is particularly true
in regards to interpersonal relationships. The
media typically depicts normative relation-
ships between men and women as romantic
and sexual in nature while nonsexual relation-
ships between men and women are depicted
as strange or essentially impossible. This nor-
mative model appears across media plat-
forms, in film, TV, and print. It is especially
notable in the popular American films and TV
series of the past three decades. Texts like
Cheers, When Harry Met Sally, The Office,
He’s Just Not That Into You, Friends, and My
Best Friend’s Wedding all thrive on romantic
tension and excitement between cross-sex
“friends” who attempt, with varying degrees
of success, to transform their friendship into
romantic partnerships (Bleske-Rechek et al.,
2012). Yet depictions of cross-sex friendships
that do not center around the “will they or
won’t they” dilemma are rare in TV sitcoms,
films, and popular literature (Werking, 1997,
2000).
When considering cross-sex friendship as a
topic of academic inquiry, it is important to
acknowledge the ideological framework of
friendship research. The predominant ideo-
logical framework in this area is the homoso-
cial norm, which assumes that girls and boys
and men and women prefer to interact with
those of the same sex (Mehta & Strough,
2009; Rose, 1985; Thorne & Luria, 1986).
The homosocial norm has two main assump-
tions. The first assumption is that friendships
take place between people of the same-sex
(Monsour, 2002; Rose, 1985). The second
assumption is that heterosexuality is norma-
tive (Kitzinger & Perkins, 1993; Rose, 2000;
Wood & Duck, 1995). Because platonic
cross-sex relationships violate the homosocial
norm, they are regarded with suspicion and
are subject to interrogation (O’Meara, 1989;
Savin-Williams, 2005). Based on these two
assumptions, cross-sex friendships tend to be
viewed by outsiders as sexual or romantic in
nature (Werking, 2000). Further, this frame-
work rests on the presumption of heteronor-
mativity; therefore, neither the idea that
cross-sex actors would not be sexually at-
tracted to one another, nor the possibility of
romance between members of the same sex is
considered.
Scholarship in the field of media and com-
munication largely ignores cross-sex friend-
ships. Researchers have examined media rep-
resentations of heterosexual romance
(Galician, 2003; Galician & Merskin, 2006;
Martin & Kazyak, 2009; Shumway, 2003),
and studies have traced the depiction of ro-
mantic same-sex relationships in popular film
and TV (Becker, 2006; Holz Ivory, Gibson, &
Ivory, 2009; Moddelmog, 2009). Others have
examined the role of the media in depicting
same-sex friendships between women (Hol-
linger, 1998; Winch, 2012) and men (Alberti,
2013; Baker, 2006; Ibson, 2006), but little
scholarship that exists considers the depiction
of platonic relationships between men and
women in the media—a fact which is, per-
haps, telling in and of itself.
One study that does investigate the possi-
bility of cross-sex friendship is Deleyto’s
(2003) study of romantic comedy, which ex-
amines the ways in which heterosexual love
has been challenged and, in some cases, re-
placed, by friendships within the rom-com
genre. Still, the author makes clear that these
films present heterosexual love as a more
desirable outcome than friendship (2003, p.
174). Further, when a male–female friendship
does appear, as in the case of My Best
Friend’s Wedding (1997), it is not a relation-
ship between a heterosexual man and woman,
but between a gay man and a heterosexual
woman. Thus, the homosocial norm, and the
premise that heterosexual men and women
cannot be friends, is ultimately upheld.
This study seeks to understand whether
contemporary representations of cross-sex
friendships in the mass media support or chal-
lenge the homosocial norm. Whereas previous
scholarship on cross-sex friendships has pri-
marily focused on film and TV, this study
looks to the growing popularity of online
content, specifically celebrity gossip Web
sites, whose up-to-the-minute narratives draw
75WE COULD NEVER BE FRIENDS

millions of readers each day.2
Because celeb-
rity gossip sites document the “personal”
lives of celebrities, these sites both reflect and
produce specific messages about the purpose
and value of interpersonal relationships
(Franco, 2006).
Are Cross-Sex Friendships Possible?
Theorists and researchers have yet to provide
a definitive answer to the question of whether it
is possible for men and women to have platonic
friendships. Historically in the western world,
men and women worked in different profes-
sions, and social norms discouraged cross-sex
friendships outside of romantic relationships or
marriage (Lobel, Quinn, St. Clair, & Warfield,
1994; Reeder, 2000). In modern western soci-
ety, however, there are numerous opportunities
for the development of cross-sex friendships
(Hart, 2003). Men and women work together
(Bleske-Rechek et al., 2012; Lobel et al., 1994),
engage in hobbies and sports together, and
spend time together with their children (Bleske-
Rechek et al., 2012). Despite this, segregation
by sex in friendships and social interactions is
still normative across the life span (Mehta &
Strough, 2009) and cross-sex friendships are
largely viewed with suspicion. Below, we out-
line literature that suggests that men and women
cannot be friends, and literature that suggests
that men and women can be friends. Again, the
theories and research that inform this literature
are based on the homosocial norm and assume
universal heterosexuality (Kitzinger & Perkins,
1993; Rose, 2000; Wood & Duck, 1995).
The majority of research that suggests that
men and women cannot be friends focuses on
issues relating to romance and heterosexuality,
specifically the premise that many heterosexual
cross-sex friendships involve feelings of sexual
and romantic attraction (Booth & Hess, 1974;
Reeder, 2000; Werking, 2000). It is hypothe-
sized that attraction in cross-sex friendships
stems from cultural expectations and evolution-
ary mating drives, as well as factors specific to
the individual, such as age and biological sex
(Bleske-Rechek et al., 2012). Middle-aged
adults report less sexual attraction to cross-sex
friends than those who are younger (Bleske-
Rechek et al., 2012). Single men of all ages
experience more sexual attraction in their cross-
sex friendships than women (Bleske-Rechek et
al., 2012; Lobel, et al., 1994; Rose, 1985).
Moreover, while women tend to underperceive
the sexual interest of their male friends, men
overperceive the sexual interest of their female
friends (Bleske-Rechek et al., 2012; Koenig,
Kirkpatrick, & Ketelaar, 2007).
Because cross-sex relationships are subject to
the homosocial norm, platonic cross-sex friend-
ships may provoke the spread of gossip and
rumors (Rawlins, 2008). Same-sex friends may
assume that cross-sex friends who often spend
time together are romantically involved or that
they are deceiving themselves as to the nature of
their relationship (O’Meara, 1989; Rawlins,
2008), and cross-sex friends may find them-
selves having to explain their relationship to
their same-sex friends, promoting it as a non-
sexual, nonromantic relationship (Fuhrman,
Flannagan, & Matamoros, 2009; Rawlins, 2008;
Werking, 1997, 2000). Outsiders may place
pressure on cross-sex friends to admit their ro-
mantic feelings, even when there are none
(Rawlins, 2008).
Outsiders’ failure to understand the nature of
the relationship threatens the friendship’s via-
bility (Rawlins, 2008; Werking, 1997). If cross-
sex friends are unable to ignore speculation,
they may succumb to the heterosexual romantic
ideology and begin to view their bond as ro-
mantic or sexual in nature (Werking, 1997). In
addition, cross-sex friendships that develop at
work may be viewed with suspicion by cowork-
ers. Coworkers may believe that cross-sex
friends are sexually involved, and may resent
them, believing that the relationship bestows
privilege (Lobel et al., 1994).
Yet other studies suggest that cross-sex
friendships are possible, even desirable. In
cross-sex friendships there is less pressure to fit
into narrowly defined gender roles, and there
may be less competition and judgment than in
same-sex friendships (Rawlins, 2008). Cross-
sex friendships have been shown to provide
men with emotional support (Rawlins, 2008;
Rose, 1985) while allowing women let go and
have fun (Baumgarte & Nelson, 2009; Rawlins,
2008). Additionally, cross-sex friendships offer
insight into how members of the other sex may
perceive behaviors and situations (Bleske &
Buss, 2000; Monsour, 2002; Rawlins, 2008;
2
http://www.quantcast.com/tmz.com
76 MCDONNELL AND MEHTA

Werking, 1997). As a result cross-sex friends
report a greater understanding of their cross-sex
romantic partners, employers, coworkers, par-
ents, and siblings (Rawlins, 2008; Werking,
1997). Further, close and equitable cross-sex
friendships may reduce sexism (Reeder, 2000;
Werking, 1997), homosocial tendencies in men
and women (Werking, 1997), and may also
offer professional benefits in the workplace (Lo-
bel et al., 1994).
Thus, the question of whether or not platonic
cross-sex friendships are possible remains un-
answered (Monsour, 2002). Perhaps a more
compelling question to ask is why we believe
that men and women can, or cannot, be friends,
and how we come to reach these conclusions.
Do contemporary media representations con-
tribute to our ideas about interpersonal relation-
ships by upholding the homosocial norm or do
they make alternative relationship models avail-
able? To understand whether or not the homoso-
cial norm is reproduced in contemporary media,
this study examines celebrity gossip Web sites,
a popular forum in which narratives about
cross-sex friendships regularly appear.
Methodology
This study considered data collected through
a directed qualitative content analysis of the
three most visited celebrity gossip Web sites in
the United States: TMZ, Perez Hilton, and Cele-
buzz. These sites were chosen based on their
ranked popularity according to Alexa and
Quantcast, web analytic companies that track
web traffic and demographic features of online
audiences. Visitors to these sites, who tend to
have at least some college education and a
household income level that is higher than that
of the average Internet user, spend an average of
approximately 3 min per site, per day.3
More
than half of the visitors to TMZ are between the
ages of 25 and 44 and across the genre women
are more likely to visit celebrity gossip sites
than men.4
As of October, 2012, TMZ, Perez
Hilton, and Celebuzz were the 124th, 414th, and
628th most visited Web sites in the United
States, respectively.5
TMZ alone garners around
16 million unique viewers in the United States
each month.6
TMZ, Perez Hilton, and Celebuzz were not
chosen only for their popularity, but also for
their narrative emphasis. TMZ, Perez Hilton,
and Celebuzz are gossip Web sites. Derived
from the Old English “godsibb,” meaning a
godparent, the term gossip, was originally used
to describe an individual who possessed inti-
mate details about family life, despite his or her
outsider status (Tebbutt, 1995). Scholarship
suggests that gossip plays an important role in
establishing and maintaining social norms, par-
ticularly in regards to interpersonal relation-
ships. Gossip has been shown to create in and
out groups (Gluckman, 1963; Rysman, 1977),
establish and police norms (Ibid.), and maintain
social control (Bergmann, 1993). In a large-
scale society, celebrity gossip provides audi-
ences who may otherwise have little connection
to one another with a common topic of discus-
sion. Like interpersonal gossip, celebrity gossip
has the potential to reflect and re-present nor-
mative ideals around biological sex, gender,
romance, and heterosexuality (Douglas, 2010;
McDonnell, 2014). Celebrity gossip also con-
structs and reproduces recognizable figures, in-
dividuals who are “like us” and yet extraordi-
nary; banal, yet representative of our collective
identity (Douglas, 2010; Gamson, 1994). In this
way, celebrity gossip Web sites provide us, as
readers, with a model through which to interpret
and judge not only others, but ourselves.
Whereas other celebrity sites feature enter-
tainment news, public relations stories, and in-
formation about upcoming films and TV shows,
gossip sites focus exclusively on celebrities’
interpersonal relationships. Because this study
investigated media depictions of cross-sex rela-
tionships, these sites were chosen for their con-
sistent emphasis on interpersonal relationships.
At the time of this study, TMZ, PerezHilton,
and Celebuzz were the three most visited Amer-
ican celebrity gossip Web sites.
We conducted a directed qualitative content
analysis of posts culled from these sites over a
6-month period, from January 1st to June 30th,
2012. This time period was chosen to provide a
comprehensive account of the sites’ recent con-
tent. Content analyses examine the structures
and features of a given a text to identify specific
characteristics of that text and to organize that
3
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/tmz.com, http://www
.alexa.com/siteinfo/celebuzz.com
4
https://www.quantcast.com/tmz.com
5
Alexa.com
6
http://www.quantcast.com/tmz.com

text into categories of meaning (Weber, 1990).
Unlike quantitative content analysis, qualitative
studies do not track the frequency of textual
phenomenon but rather seek to provide an in-
terpretation of textual data by engaging in a
close reading of the text, identifying themes or
patterns, and documenting those observed pat-
terns using rich description of textual evidence.
Our goal in using this methodology was to
provide a nuanced description of celebrity gos-
sip narratives while identifying major recurring
themes. Our first step was to identify posts on
the three aforementioned Web sites that met the
following criteria:
• The post contained information about a
man and a woman.
• The man and woman depicted were not
married or engaged to be married.
• The post did not state that the man and
woman were boyfriend and girlfriend, a
couple, or dating.
• The man and woman depicted were not
family members.
• The man and woman depicted were adults,
over the age of 18.
Instances in which the story included ques-
tions or speculation about the nature of the
individuals’ relationship were recorded. In total,
391 posts were documented and examined.
Having identified these posts, we engaged in
a directed analysis of these data. Directed qual-
itative content analysis uses existing theory
and/or prior research to determine “key con-
cepts or variables as initial coding categories” in
an effort to structure data in theoretically salient
ways (Hsieh & Shannon, 2005, p. 1281). Given
existing scholarship within the field of cross-sex
friendship research, we began by classifying
celebrity gossip Web site narratives into two
predetermined coding categories: romantic
speculation and feuds. Both of these categories
reflect the homosocial norm. The former em-
phasizes the idea that relationships between
men and women will inevitably lead to sexual
encounters, the latter reflects the notion that
men and women cannot be friends. In addition,
we identified a third unexpected, yet related,
narrative trope of stalking and/or abuse. We
then examined the textual features of the data
and inductively generated coding terms based
on linguistic cues that appeared consistently
across posts (see Table 1). Finally, each re-
searcher returned to the original data set and
identified relevant posts using those coding
terms. The following discussion examines how
the Web site’s syntactical choices worked to
produce specific, recurring narratives around
cross-sex friendship.
Findings
What emerges from this examination of ce-
lebrity gossip sites is a reaffirmation of the
homosocial norm and of the idea that men and
women cannot be friends. When narratives
about men and women appeared on these sites,
they consistently fell into one of three catego-
ries: speculation about whether or not the man
and woman were romantically involved, feuds,
and stalking or abuse. The first of these, the
speculative narrative, was the most prevalent;
211 of the stories sampled featured either spec-
ulation about whether or not two individuals
were romantically involved or a rebuttal of that
speculation.
Speculation narratives appeared most often
on TMZ and Perez Hilton, both of which fea-
tured a category entitled “New Couple Alert,”
devoted to the documentation of potential ro-
mance. Stories within this category revolved
around male–female interactions that were typ-
ically platonic in nature, but that were spun into
a “wink-wink, nudge-nudge” suggestion that
the pair must be dating. Whether practicing
yoga (Russell Brand and “mystery brunette”),7
eating lunch (Taylor Swift and Mark Foster),8
getting coffee (Amanda Seyfried and Josh Hart-
nett),9
or simply chatting and smiling (Elizabeth
Olsen and Alexander Skarsgard),10
cross-sex
interactions, however banal, were presented as
romantic or sexual in nature.
Within these narratives, the suggestion of ro-
mance was typically overt. The Swift/Foster
lunch post, for example, featured a photo of the
two musicians covered in hand-drawn white
7
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-02-22/russell-brand-
does-yoga-with-mystery-brunette-photos/
8
http://perezhilton.com/2012-05-18-taylor-swift-mark-
foster-lunch-date-cafe-roma#.UIv_ysXA-So
9
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-04-24/amanda-
seyfried-josh-hartnett-have-coffee-date-in-actress-los-
angeles-neighborhood-photos/
10
http://perezhilton.com/2012-02-28-new-couple-alert-
elizabeth-olsen-alexander-skarsgard#.UIv-M8XA-So,http://
www.celebuzz.com/2012-02-28/spotted-elizabeth-olsen-
alexander-skarsgard-chatting-at-vanity-fair-oscars-bash/

hearts and question marks. Meanwhile, the Sey-
fried/Hartnett story referred to the actress and
actor as “the rumored new Hollywood couple”
and described their coffee run as “cozy.” The
post also revealed that “the possible couple have
already had their dogs meet”; this assertion
meant to serve as proof that the two were ro-
mantically involved. Suggestive language and
speculative tone were combined with paparazzi
photos that had been chosen, cropped, or juxta-
posed in such a way as to make the implicated
celebrities appear to be interacting.
At times, however, romantic speculation was
not overt, but expressed through innuendo. A
May 14th post on Celebuzz, which discussed
how actor Robert Pattinson spent his 26th birth-
day with actress Sienna Miller, mused, “Notice-
ably missing was his girlfriend Kristen Stewart.
Where was she?” The fact that Pattinson was at
a restaurant on his birthday, without his girl-
friend and with another woman, was used to
suggest the possibility of inﬁdelity. Again, the
idea of platonic interaction was trumped by the
suspicion of romantic engagement.
Speculative narratives often revolved around
relationships between two key groups, the ﬁrst
of these being coworkers. Of the postings sam-
pled, 33 stories featured allegations of romance
between current or former coworkers. For in-
stance, when former stars of the popular TV
series That 70’s Show, Mila Kunis and Ashton
Kutcher, were photographed spending time to-
gether, gossip sites began wondering if the
stars’ professional relationship had developed
into something more. A March 17th post on
TMZ, entitled, “The FRIENDLY Sushi
Date,”11
reported, “While her rep says they’re
just friends, Mila Kunis was spotted platoni-
cally hanging out with Ashton Kutcher in L.A.
on Sunday. The former ‘That 70’s Show’ stars
were seen getting into Ashton’s car following a
fancy sushi dinner in Studio City . . . with Mila
attempting to shield her face from the cameras.
Sometimes really, really good pals just need
some quality time alone together, ok!”
This post suggested that the dinner between
two former colleagues was a romantic encoun-
ter and used the word friend to mock the idea of
cross-sex friendship. Within the posting’s title,
friendly was the only word printed in all capital
11
http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/17/ashton-kutcher-mila-
kunis-hanging-out-together/
Table 1
Coding Terms
Speculation Feuds Stalking and abuse
Blossoming Bad blood Arrest/Arrested/Under arrest
Caught Bash Assault
Close Beef Attack
Comfy Bitter Batter/Battery
Couple/Couple-like/New couple alert Bully Beat
Cozy/Cozied up Catty/Cattily Brawl
Duo Diss Break/Break into
Flirty/Flirtatious Feud/Feuding Cops
“Friend”/More than friends/Friendly/“Just friends” Fight (verbal) Fight (physical)
Holding hands Grudge Harass
Intimate Hate Hit
Linked with Name Calling Lash out at
Lovebirds Pissed off Melee
Pair Rip Police
Pal Slam Police report
Platonic Spat Punch
Rendezvous romance Trash Rape
Rumors/Rumored War/Warring Restraining order
Secret/Secretly Stalk/Stalker
Smitten Violent/Violence
Spark
Speculation/Speculate
Spotted

letters, establishing an ironic emphasis. The
post also made explicit reference to the idea of
a platonic relationship, but the sassy, plaintive
tone of the final sentence negated the possibility
of a Kunis/Kutcher friendship. Across gossip
sites, the mocking use of words like friend,
friendship, and friendly was a common feature
of speculative posts. These syntactical choices
worked to implicitly sexualize platonic activi-
ties. Even when celebrities directly stated that
they were “just friends,” as Kunis and Kutcher
later did, speculation continued as Celebuzz
asked readers, “Do you think they’d make a
good couple in real life?” and Perez Hilton
quipped, “Mmmhmm! Whatever you say, Mila!
LOLz! Could this be a case of unrequited love,
though?”12
Ex-lovers were also subject to this type of
speculation. When former couples appeared to-
gether, celebrity gossip sites questioned the na-
ture of their relationship, with 37 posts refer-
encing potential romantic rekindling. A
February 9th story on TMZ, for instance, fea-
tured formerly married Dexter stars Michael C.
Hall and Jennifer Carpenter.13
The story, titled
“Happily Divorced Ever After,” stated, “Al-
though ‘Dexter’ costars Michael C. Hall and
Jennifer Carpenter finalized their divorce in De-
cember, the former couple couldn’t be any
closer as they walked arm-in-arm and snuggled
in Venice Beach on Wednesday. So much for
irreconcilable differences.” The suggestion here
was that Hall and Carpenter were once again
involved in a romantic relationship; the possi-
bility of the two developing a platonic relation-
ship once they were no longer wed was not
considered.
Perhaps the most notorious of these narra-
tives, however, involved the alleged recoupling
of rapper Chris Brown and pop star Rihanna. In
2009, while the two were dating, TMZ pub-
lished a leaked photo from the Los Angeles
police department showing Rihanna’s badly
battered face. Brown, who was charged with
assault in the incident, became infamous in the
tabloid press. The rapper eventually pled guilty
to a felony offense but continued to flaunt his
aggressive behavior and bad-boy reputation. In
2012, following their collaboration on a musical
project, rumors began to circulate that Rihanna
and Brown were once again dating. “Looks like
Rihanna certainly isn’t one of Chris Brown’s
haters,” wrote Celebuzz in a February 15th
post.14
“The pop star, who turns 24 on February
20, threw a small birthday party for herself
Monday in Los Angeles at a private house . . .
Sources at the bash confirm to Celebuzz that
Chris was indeed in attendance and we’re told
the two definitely appeared friendly.” Simi-
larly, a February 23rd post on TMZ claimed
the pair was “dangerously close to getting
back together” and mused “you can’t hold
back love.”15
Like the Hall/Carpenter post,
the Brown/Rihanna narrative suggested that
former lovers could not be friends because
they would inevitably return to their previous
romance; however, the Brown/Rihanna sto-
ries also added an additional warning. Not
only was friendship impossible in this case, it
was also “dangerous” because it would lead to
an unhealthy romantic relationship.
Ex-lovers also appeared in the second of ce-
lebrity gossip sites’ most popular storylines:
feuds. Here, the message shifted. Whereas spec-
ulation narratives implied that men and women
could not be friends because sexual relation-
ships would trump platonic ones, stories about
celebrity feuds suggested that cross-sex friend-
ships were impossible because men and women
simply could not get along. Of the sampled
posts, 93 featured stories about fights, argu-
ments, and backstabbing allegations between
men and women; of these, 13 involved feuds
between ex-lovers.
For instance, a March 8th post on Celebuzz
titled, “Mad Men star Elizabeth Moss Bares All,
Slams Ex-Husband Fred Armisen.”16
Moss, re-
ferred to as a “scorned” actress, was reported to
have “cattily” commented that her ex does a
great impersonation of a “normal person.” Like-
wise, a June 7th post on Perez Hilton exclaimed,
12
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-04-16/mila-kunis-
ashton-kutcher-i-are-not-dating-just-friends-exclusive/
13
http://www.tmz.com/2012/02/09/michael-c-hall-and-
jennifer-carpenter-happily-divorced-ever-after/
14
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-02-15/exclusive-
rihanna-throws-intimate-birthday-bash-with-chris-brown-
in-attendance/
15
http://www.tmz.com/2012/02/23/rihanna-chris-brown-
reunion-friends/
16
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-03-08/elisabeth-moss-
bares-all-slams-ex-husband-fred-armisen/

“The war has begun!”17
This alleged war, be-
tween formerly dating pop stars John Mayer and
Taylor Swift, stemmed from Mayer’s feeling
“upset” by Swift’s song lyrics, which placed
him at fault for their failed relationship. The
post reported that the duo had “more than a little
bit of an awkward confrontation when they ran
into each other” at a bar and noted that Mayer
had “poured salt” into some of Swift’s old
wounds. Thus, celebrity gossip sites presented
ex-lovers in two sharply contrasting motifs: ei-
ther in the midst of rekindling their romantic
love or in the throes of a heated battle. The
possibility of friendship was negated by these
two divergent tropes.
Still, ex-lovers were not the only celebrities
involved in feuds. Whether it be pop stars Elton
John and Madonna, foodies Anthony Bourdain
and Paula Deen, or even rapper 50 Cent and
Oprah (50 Cent allegedly named his dog after
the talk show mogul as a way to “diss” her after
she questioned his misogynistic song lyrics),18
cross-sex feuds were a frequently occurring,
often ongoing staple of celebrity gossip sites.
These narratives emphasized a tit-for-tat style
battle between stars, fueled by off-the-cuff re-
marks, rebuttals, and half-hearted apologies.
When actor Jon Hamm called reality star Kim
Kardashian a “f‫ء‬
’in idiot” in the April 2012
issue of Elle U.K. for example, Kardashian re-
sponded by calling his comments “careless.”19
This prompted Hamm to release a statement,
and so the feud continued. The relentless back
and forth, he-said-she-said, created a perpetual
stream of posts that pitted male and female stars
against one another and reinforced the idea that
men and women cannot get along.
This cross-sex antagonism was further
heightened by a third narrative category, featur-
ing stories of stalking and abuse. Although we
did not initially anticipate this theme, it clearly
emerged during the data collection process and
23 posts were coded. Especially prevalent on
TMZ, these posts chronicled the personal and
legal struggles faced by celebrities who were
being harassed, stalked, or physically and/or
mentally abused by members of the other sex. A
March 26th post on TMZ reported that reality
show creator and American Idol judge Simon
Cowell’s house was broken into by a female
intruder who used a brick to smash his window
before crawling into his bathroom.20
The sites
also reported that Madonna, Mila Kunis, Selena
Gomez, Cory Feldman, Jeff Goldblum, and Tito
Ortiz were all stalked and/or harassed by mem-
bers of the other sex. Meanwhile, TMZ posted
when actor Cuba Gooding Jr. was accused of
groping “several women” in a New Mexico
bar21
and Celebuzz reported that actor Lane
Garrison was charged with misdemeanor bat-
tery for hitting his ex-girlfriend.22
In these sto-
ries, cross-sex interactions were not simply un-
friendly, they were dangerous. Considered
alongside feud narratives, these posts reinforced
the notion that men and women are antagonists,
constantly at odds, willing and able to disrupt
one another’s livelihood, reputation, and phys-
ical and mental health.
Despite all of this, celebrity gossip sites did,
at times, feature stories that acknowledge cross-
sex friendship. When such narratives occurred,
however, they were often presented as an anom-
aly. For instance, a January 18th post on Cele-
buzz exclaimed, “Who says exes can’t be
friends?” and discussed how actors Vanessa
Hudgens and Josh Hutcherson, who briefly
dated, were now amicably posing for promo-
tional photos in anticipation of their upcoming
film.23
The duo’s professional friendship was
noteworthy because, the opening line sug-
gested, platonic friendship between exes is sub-
ject to scrutiny. Hudgens’ and Hutcherson’s
amicable relationship was thereby cast as an
exception. Further, when celebrity gossip sto-
ries about male–female friendships appeared,
they often featured men and women who were
of significantly disparate ages (Joan Rivers and
50 Cent)24
or of different sexual orientations
(Miley Cyrus and Cheyne Thomas, Adam
17
http://perezhilton.com/2012-06-07-taylor-swift-john-
mayer-confrontation#.UJKrv8XA-So
18
http://www.tmz.com/2012/06/12/oprah-50-cent-dog-
interview/
19
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-03-12/kim-kardashian-
responds-to-jon-hamms-stupidity-comment/
20
http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/26/simon-cowell-break-
in-house-cops-police/
21
http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/06/cuba-gooding-jr-
groping-allegations-are-bs/
22
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-04-26/prison-break-
actor-lane-garrison-charged-with-misdemeanor-battery-for-
hitting-ex-girlfriend/
23
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-01-18/vanessa-hudgens-
josh-hutcherson-pose-for-photos-together-in-sydney-photos/
24
http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/28/joan-rivers-50-cent-
kiss/

Shankman and Whitney Houston).25
Taken to-
gether, these posts served as a counterpoint to
the speculative and antagonistic narratives fea-
tured on celebrity gossip sites; however, the
limited scope and infrequent appearance of
these posts marked them as an anomaly. Thus
while these narratives, on the surface, appeared
to encourage cross-sex friendship, they ulti-
mately supported the homosocial norm by serv-
ing as rare exceptions to a well-established rule.
Conclusions and Future Research
This study’s findings suggest that representa-
tions of cross-sex friendships on celebrity gos-
sip Web sites reinforce the idea that men and
women cannot be friends. The sampled narra-
tives reinforce the homosocial norm; celebrity
gossip sites consistently depict heterosexuality
and heterosexual romantic relationships as nor-
mative and friendships between men and
women as rare or impossible. In addition to the
directed categories of romantic speculation and
feud narratives, narratives containing stalking
and abuse were prevalent in depictions of cross-
sex interaction, further bolstering the idea that
men and women cannot be friends. Cross-sex
friendships between heterosexuals and those
who identify as gay or lesbian are depicted as
more acceptable, perhaps because the possibil-
ity of a sexual attraction becomes a moot point.
However, these friendships are rarely featured
and, when they do appear, ultimately reinforce
the homosocial norm by suggesting that cross-
sex friendship is only possible when actors are
not sexually attracted to members of the other
sex. In sum, when celebrity gossip Web sites
contain narratives featuring cross-sex interac-
tion, these posts reproduce the homosocial norm
by consistently presenting cross-sex relation-
ships in sexual or antagonistic terms. Narratives
featuring healthy, close cross-sex friendships
appear rarely and are treated as exceptions.
This study supports previous research that
has shown that cross-sex friendships are subject
to the suspicion and scrutiny of outsiders who
assume such relationships are romantic or sex-
ual in nature. Our findings suggest that this type
of judgment and speculation is not limited to
interpersonal interaction, but also occurs virtu-
ally as audiences are invited to speculate on the
relationships of public figures. Further, the so-
cial taboo around friendships between male and
female coworkers, described in the friendship
literature, is reproduced across celebrity Web
sites. Finally, these Web sites add a layer of
foreboding to the established rationale for cross-
sex friendship avoidance; their emphasis on
feuds, fights, and abuse further negates the pos-
sibility for platonic cross-sex interaction.
Although our findings suggest that gossip
Web site narratives reflect established assump-
tions around cross-sex friendship, further re-
search is needed to better understand the role
these narratives play in shaping audiences’ per-
ceptions of and attitudes toward these relation-
ships. Scholarship has shown that an individu-
al’s likelihood of interpreting and applying
celebrity characteristics and behaviors to one’s
self may be dependent on the extent to which
that individual identifies with the celebrity in
question. Research in the field of audience stud-
ies suggests that identification occurs when au-
diences recognize themselves in and adopt the
thoughts, goals, or emotions of particular media
figures, in this case celebrities (Cohen, 2001;
Green, Brock, & Kaufman, 2004). Audiences
who identify with celebrities may use the be-
haviors of those stars as a way of thinking about
their own identities, behaviors, and relation-
ships (Soukup, 2006) and fans who strongly
identify with a celebrity figure may adopt his or
her perceived values as their own (Fraser &
Brown, 2002). It seems that identification may,
therefore, play a mediating role in determining
what impact celebrity representations may have
on audiences’ perceptions and attitudes. Future
research might consider the role of celebrity
identification in determining audience attitudes
toward cross-sex friendship.
In addition, audience studies are needed to
understand whether gossip Web site depictions
impact male and female audiences’ attitudes
toward cross-sex friendships differently. Al-
though the assumed audience for celebrity gos-
sip is typically female, male readers account for
over a third of the audience for the sites dis-
cussed in this study (44, 20, and 51% of readers
are male at TMZ, PerezHilton, and Celebuzz,
25
http://www.celebuzz.com/2012-06-13/miley-cyrus-
mystery-man-revealed-exclusive/, http://www.celebuzz.
com/2012-06-04/sytycd-guest-judge-adam-shankman-
remembers-whitney-houston-she-treated-me-like-i-was-
her-baby/

respectively).26
The impact of these representa-
tions on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender
audiences’ attitudes toward friendships with
members of the other sex is also an important
site for further investigation. Future research
may also consider if, and how, the interactive
possibilities facilitated by blogs and other social
media sites, such as commenting, following, and
liking other users’ virtual activities, impact the
ways in which cross-sex actors engage in real-
world interpersonal relationships.
In our contemporary media landscape, the
Internet promises to serve as a site of self-
expression, a place where stereotypes can be
broken and diversity can be celebrated. This
study shows, however, that the Internet can also
be a place where normative modes are repre-
sented and reinforced. Celebrity gossip Web
sites cast cross-sex friendship as an impossibil-
ity. On these sites, relationships between men
and women are sexual or antagonistic, there is
no in-between. Here, cross-sex friendship is a
punch line. It functions only as a disguise that is
designed, but ultimately fails, to conceal a sex-
ual romance. A quarter century since Harry
Burns met Sally Albright, popular narratives
continue to insist that men and women can
never be friends. Has anything changed? It
remains uncertain whether these messages are
a reflection or an exaggeration of our collec-
tive fears and desires, yet it seems clear that
celebrity gossip Web sites reinforce the ho-
mosocial norm by sexualizing cross-sex rela-
tionships and emphasizing antipathy between
men and women.
26
Quantcast.com
References
Alberti, J. (2013). “I love you, man”: Bromances, the
construction of masculinity, and the continuing
evolution of the romantic comedy. Quarterly Re-
view of Film and Video, 30, 159–172. doi:10.1080/
10509208.2011.575658
Baker, B. (2006). Masculinity in fiction and film:
Representing men in popular genres 1945–2000.
London, UK: Continuum International Publishing
Group.
Baumgarte, R., & Nelson, D. (2009). Preference for
same- versus cross-sex friendships. Journal of Ap-
plied Social Psychology, 39, 901–917. doi:
10.1111/j.1559-1816.2009.00465.x
Becker, R. (2006). Gay TV and straight America.
Piscataway, NJ: Rutgers University Press.
Bergmann, J. (1993). Discreet indiscretions: The so-
cial organization of gossip. Hawthorne, NY: Al-
dine de Gruyter.
Bleske, A. L., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Can men and
women be just friends? Personal Relationships, 7,
131–151. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2000.tb00008.x
Bleske-Rechek, A., Somers, E., Micke, C., Erickson,
L., Matteson, L., Stocco, C., . . . Ritchie, L. (2012).
Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship.
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 29,
569–596. doi:10.1177/0265407512443611
Booth, A., & Hess, E. (1974). Cross-sex friendship.
Journal of Marriage and Family, 36, 38–47. doi:
10.2307/350992
Cohen, J. (2001). Defining identification: A theoretical
look at the identification of audiences with media
characters. Mass Communication and Society, 4,
245–264. doi:10.1207/S15327825MCS0403_01
Deleyto, C. (2003). Between friends: Love and
friendship in contemporary Hollywood romantic
comedy. Screen, 44, 167–182. doi:10.1093/screen/
44.2.167
Douglas, S. J. (2010). Enlightened sexism: The se-
ductive message that feminism’s work is done.
New York, NY: Times Books.
Franco, J. (2006). Langsters online: k.d. lang and the
creation of internet fan communities. In S. Red-
mond & S. Holmes (Eds.), Framing celebrity: New
directions in celebrity culture (269–283). New
York: Routledge.
Fraser, B. P., & Brown, W. J. (2002). Media, celeb-
rities, and social influence: Identification with El-
vis Presley. Mass Communication and Society, 5,
183–206. doi:10.1207/S15327825MCS0502_5
Fuhrman, R. W., Flannagan, D., & Matamoros, M.
(2009). Behavior expectations in cross-sex friend-
ships, same-sex friendships, and romantic relation-
ships. Personal Relationships, 16, 575–596. doi:
10.1111/j.1475-6811.2009.01240.x
Galician, M. (2003). Love, sex, and romance in the
mass media: Analysis and criticism of unrealistic
portrayals and their influence. Mahwah, NJ: Erl-
baum, Inc.
Galician, M., & Merskin, D. (Eds.). (2006). Critical
thinking about sex, love, and romance in the mass
media: Media literacy applications. Mahwah, NJ:
Erlbaum, Inc.
Gamson, J. (1994). Claims to fame: Celebrity in
contemporary America. Berkeley, CA: University
of California Press.
Gluckman, M. (1963). Papers in honor of Melville J.
Herskovits: Gossip and scandal. Current Anthro-
pology, 4, 307–316. doi:10.1086/200378
Green, M. C., Brock, T. C., & Kaufman, G. F.
(2004). Understanding media enjoyment: The role
of transportation into narrative worlds. Communi-

cation Theory, 14, 311–327. doi:10.1111/j.1468-
2885.2004.tb00317.x
Hart, J. L. (2003). Cross-sex friends: Barriers and
benefits–But what about facilitators and down-
sides? Contemporary Psychology, 48, 475–477.
doi:10.1037/000862
Hollinger, K. (1998). In the company of women:
Contemporary female friendship films. Minneapo-
lis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.
Holz Ivory, A., Gibson, R., & Ivory, J. D. (2009).
Gendered relationships on television: Portrayals of
same-sex and heterosexual couples. Mass Commu-
nication and Society, 12, 170–192. doi:10.1080/
15205430802169607
Hsieh, H. F., & Shannon, S. E. (2005). Three ap-
proaches to qualitative content analysis. Qualita-
tive Health Research, 15, 1277–1288. doi:10.1177/
1049732305276687
Ibson, J. (2006). Picturing men: A century of male
relationships in everyday American photography.
Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Kitzinger, C., & Perkins, R. (1993). Changing our
minds: Lesbian feminism and psychology. New
York, NY: New York University Press.
Koenig, B. L., Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ketelaar, T.
(2007). Misperception of sexual and romantic in-
terests in opposite-sex friendships: Four hypothe-
ses. Personal Relationships, 14, 411–429. doi:
10.1111/j.1475-6811.2007.00163.x
Lobel, S. A., St. Clair, L., Quinn, R. E., & Warfield,
A. (1994). Love without sex: The nature and im-
pact of psychological intimacy between men and
women at work. Organizational Dynamics, 23,
5–16. doi:10.1016/0090-2616(94)90084-1
Martin, K. A., & Kazyak, E. (2009). Hetero-romantic
love and heterosexiness in children’s G-rated
films. Gender and Society, 23, 315–336. doi:
10.1177/0891243209335635
McDonnell, A. (2014). Reading celebrity gossip
magazines. London, UK: Polity.
Mehta, C. M., & Strough, J. (2009). Sex segregation
in friendships and normative contexts across the
life span. Developmental Review, 29, 201–220.
doi:10.1016/j.dr.2009.06.001
Moddelmog, D. A. (2009). Can romantic comedy be
gay? Hollywood romance, citizenship, and same-
sex marriage panic. Journal of Popular Film and
Television, 36, 162–173. doi:10.3200/JPFT.36.4
.162-173
Monsour, M. (2002). Women and men as friends:
Relationships across the lifespan in the 21st Cen-
tury. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
O’Meara, J. (1989). Cross-sex friendship: Four basic
challenges of an ignored relationship. Sex Roles,
21, 525–543. doi:10.1007/BF00289102
Rawlins, W. (2008). The compass of friendships.
Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Reeder, H. M. (2000). ‘I like you . . . as a friend’: The
role of attraction in cross-sex friendship. Journal
of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 329.
doi:10.1177/0265407500173002
Rose, S. M. (1985). Same- and cross sex friendships
and the psychology of homosociality. Sex Roles,
12, 63–74. doi:10.1007/BF00288037
Rose, S. (2000). Heterosexism and the study of wom-
en’s romantic and friend relationships. Journal of
Social Issues, 56, 315–328. doi:10.1111/0022-
4537.00168
Rysman, A. (1977). How the “gossip” became a
woman. Journal of Communication, 27, 176–180.
doi:10.1111/j.1460-2466.1977.tb01814.x
Savin-Williams, R. C. (2005). The new gay teen:
Shunning labels. Gay and Lesbian Review World-
wide, 12, 16–19.
Shumway, D. (2003). Modern love: Romance, inti-
macy, and the marriage crisis. New York: NYU
Press.
Soukup, C. (2006). Hitching a ride on a star: Celeb-
rity, stardom, and identification on the world wide
web. Southern Communication Journal, 71, 319–
337. doi:10.1080/10417940601000410
Tebbutt, M. (1995). Women’s talk? A social history
of ‘gossip’ in working-class neighborhoods,
1880–1960. Brookfield, VT: Ashfield Publishing
Co.
Thorne, B., & Luria, Z. (1986). Sexuality and gender
in children’s daily worlds. Social Problems, 33,
176–190. doi:10.2307/800703
Weber, R. P. (1990). Basic content analysis. Beverly
Hills, CA: Sage.
Werking, K. (1997). We’re just good friends: Women
and men in nonromantic relationships. New York,
NY: Guilford Press.
Werking, K. J. (2000). Cross-sex friendship research
as ideological practice. In K. Dindia & S. Duck
(Eds.), Communication and personal relationships
(pp. 113–130). New York, NY: Wiley Ltd.
Winch, A. (2012). We can have it all. Feminist Media
Studies, 12, 69–82. doi:10.1080/14680777.2011
.558349
Wood, J. T., & Duck, S. (1995). Under-studied re-
lationships: Off the beaten track. Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage.
Received October 8, 2013
Accepted February 5, 2014 Ⅲ

McDonnell & Mehta_ 2016_We could never just be friends

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

What's hot

What's hot (17)

Viewers also liked

Viewers also liked (19)

Similar to McDonnell & Mehta_ 2016_We could never just be friends

Similar to McDonnell & Mehta_ 2016_We could never just be friends (11)

More from Clare Mehta

More from Clare Mehta (8)

McDonnell & Mehta_ 2016_We could never just be friends