Basic christian counselling training

The Equipping Christian Ministry
Foundational Training for Christian Counsellors
The New Revelation Baptist Church, Ikeja -Lagos
June 11, 2016
Jerry Akinsola,
jerryakinsola@yahoo.com
+2348033804982

Tabitha told you that her
well respected husband
is not who most church
members think he is; he
is violent, gambles and
also addicted to
pornography. Tabitha is
fed up. What should she
do? How can you help
her?

Engr. John, the son of the
General Overseer’s driver,
is engaged to Betty, the
daughter of the GO. While
she profess that she loves
him, he is not sure she
respects him. He is also
afraid that he may not be
able to satisfy her
materially. How can you
help John?

Mrs. Chris, the singles
coordinator, met her ex-lover at
a function two years ago. They
merely exchanged phone
numbers at that time. The initial
occasional calls have blossomed
now into an affair. While she has
undergone various deliverance
programme, and had cut him off
for some months, she confides
in you that her ex-lover is now
occupying the place of her busy
husband. How can you help her?

Bro Sam has failed eight school
certificate level examinations.
After appraising him, you are
convinced that he would do well
in other spheres of life. But he is
refusing to consider other
alternatives to academics. Rather
he wants you to keep supporting
him financially. What will you do?

How do you help others?

Helping Approaches
Direct
Action
Teaching
Giving
Advice
Providing
Information
Counselling

What is Christian Counselling…
It is the constructive, caring and intentional
interactions between a counsellor and a ‘client’
meant to help the client to embrace and exalt Jesus
Christ through his or her choices and actions.
There is no limit to the problems on which
counseling can be offered or to the type of person
who can be thus assisted.

Goals of Christian Counselling…
Embracing Christlikeness
Freedom from bondage and
dependency
Transformation –Better and balance
individual in terms of his or her overall
wellbeing
Empowering the person to help others

Why Every Church Need Counsellors
To permit helpers use their gifts
To prevent escalations of damaging
attitudes
To provide initial support to those
confronting emotional, behavioural,
spiritual and social or relational
challenges

Qualities of a
Good Counsellor

Saved and Committed Disciple
Knowledgeable – Knows the Word and
the World
Understand People – developmental
needs, spiritual level
Respect others
Trustworthiness

Healthy - Emotionally Stable, Spiritual
Balanced, etc
Suspends critical judgment
Genuine
Being concern/being there
Relational, Prepared, Observant
Recognizes personal limitations

Basic Counselling Skills
and
Why they are Important

Mastering the
Art of Listening

Types of Listening
Passive
SelectiveActive

Active Listening …
Involves Hearing +Understanding what
the client said and how he/she feels
Involves appropriate responses
Helps client to Experience and express
her/his feelings
Reduce defensive behaviour

Be aware of Body languages:
Facial expressions,
 Angle of our body,
Proximity of ourselves to another,
 Placement of arms and legs,
Raising and lowering of eyebrows,
Tone of voice , etc .

Responding
Skills

Types of Responses
•Evaluative •Interpretative •Supportive
•Probing •Understanding

Underlying Motives for Responses
Evaluative – making judgments of good/bad,
right/wrong, should/should not, fair/unfair,
just/unjust, etc.
Interpretative-trying to infer a meaning behind a
problem/statement
Supportive-being reassuring, calming
Probing- clarification, seeking further information
 Understanding – confirming with the speaker that
the listener has understood the message correctly

Components of ‘Understanding’
Responses…
REPHRASING (restating what is told, without adding
or subtracting its meaning. Sometimes Paraphrasing
is used to clarify / Summarizing is focusing on the
main points of the conversation )
REFLECTING ( To convey that the feelings or
emotions are understood)
REFRAMING ( to facilitate the person to think from
other perspectives, develops insight)

Mistakes in formulating Responses
Responses that are too long
Responses that show more concern for
the facts
Responses that are vague & generalized
Responses that are leading & directive
Responses that are overly supportive &
reassuring

Stages of a Helpful Response
S – Spontaneous - The response should
be neither rehearsed or mechanical
T – Tailor made -It should be suited to
this person at this time
A – Adequate - It should precisely &
correctly identify the other’s feelings

Stages of a Helpful Response
R – Reflective - It merely reflects
meanings back to the counselee
S – Symbolic - It should offer the
counselee concrete & creative picture
words to help the counselee see his
world more clearly & graphically

The Power of
Scriptures and
Prayers

Using Scriptures
1. The Bible reveals God’s absolute/ultimate desires
and plans for men for all races and all cultures.
2. The Light: Through the Bible we see people,
circumstances and life correctly. The Bible exposes
men’s sins and also leads to self-
realization/restoration.
3. We must lead the client to understand and adopt
biblical solutions to life.

Using Prayers
1. Prayers changes people, situations and
circumstances
2. You must soak every stage of the
counselling with prayers. Learn to
intercede, shot and defeat darkness with
prayers
3. Pray before, during and after the session.

The Power of
Good Questions

What we can learn through questions?
The general situation- "What did you
want to talk about?”
The facts-- "What happened?”
Feelings-- "How did you feel?”
Reasons-- "Why did you do that?”
Specifics– “Will you please give me an
example”

Master the Use of Different types of
Questions….
An open question is one that is used in order
to gathering more of relevant information –
intention is to get long/detailed answer.
A closed question is one used to gather
specific information - it can normally be
answered with either a single word or a short
phrase.

Encouraging immediacy
Sometimes we spend time repeating
thing. It is important to reach
conclusions. Deal with what is
happening in the Here & Now in the
interaction. The counselee’s growth &
well being is more significant in the
present rather than the past or future.

Attending Skills

S–O–L–E–R
Sit
squarely
Open
posture
Lean
forward
Eye
contact
Relaxed
attitude

Make Referral
If…

Referral
If you will not be available
If you know the information will
corrupt you
If you are becoming emotionally
entangled
If you feel overwhelm
Make Referral

The Counsellor’s
Attitudes and Emotions:
Avoiding Common
Pitfalls

A bad attitude
is like a flat tyre …
You can’t go anywhere
Till You Change it

H–A–P–P–Y: That Would Make You a Five
Counsellor
Hope-Don’t write off people
Ask Questions - Show talk you care
Praise – Call attention to positive
changes
Pray– Intercede for your client
Yield– There could be other ways apart
from yours

L–I–F–E: Nurturing Positive Attitude
Love – God, yourself and others is proof healthy
living.
Involve and Invest your life in productive enterprise –
Strive to give rather than get. Be a solution
Feed and fill yourself with resources that makes you
godly
Empty your recycle bin – Do not keep carrying
emotional baggages and guilt

Common Pitfalls
Avoiding Too much concern
(sympathy)
Avoiding too less concern(apathy)
Transference and Counter transference
 One size fits all approach

People may not remember
what was said but they will
remember how
you made them feel.

Essentials of an Effective
Counselling Session

Most Counselling Sessions Follow this
Pattern
Introduction
Information
Gathering,
Discussion Conclusion.

Prayers
Listening attentively
Empathy
Warmth
Respect
Being non-judgemental, non-hurting
Being non- threatening
Being non- punishing

Steps to Remember
in Counselling

Building rapport
Ensuring trust issues and confidentiality
 Attending
 Listening
 Responding
Showing genuineness
 Leading to Action
Being transparent to self (to be aware of own
emotional issues)

Moving On…
Counselors can take comfort in knowing that they
have cared for a person during a very significant time
in her / his life,
and can remind themselves of this quotation by
Thomas Carruthers:
A teacher is one who makes himself / herself
progressively unnecessary.

Basic christian counselling training

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