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Aggression Management
Name of Peer Moderator: _____________________
Is Anger Good or Bad
Bad Good
Can motivate and
energize us to do better
Can give us a direction to
work towards
Can give strength to work
against injustice
Can lead to aggression
and destruction
Can lead to impulsive
decisions we regret later
Can create hostility
between people
Anger Vs. Aggression
Anger
Is an emotion
Can be good or bad
Need not be directed at
others
Is normal and natural
Aggression
Is a behaviour
Is always harmful
Directed at others
Can be controlled
Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going
to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to
you. And that matters, because how you act leads
to consequences.
Types of Aggression
Verbal Physical
Aggression Also Means…
Defying authority
Bullying
Yelling
Breaking Things
Interrupting
Sarcasm
Gossiping
Spreading rumours
Excluding
Sitting alone
Share YOUR Story of Aggression
Who Are You?
The bully
The bullied
The
bystander
Click to edit Master title style
CONSEQUENCES OF
AGGRESSION
Consequences for the Victim
Emotional - sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteem
Physical – injury, frequent illnesses
Social – isolation, inability to make friends
Academic – inability to concentrate, dropout
Behavioural – smoking, drinking, eating too much/too
little, school refusal
Being a victim of bullying can affect every part
of our lives
Consequences for the Aggressor
It’s not only
the victim who
suffers
Click to edit Master title style
IS AGGRESSION LEARNT?
Where We Learn From
Family
Friends
Community
Media
Click to edit Master title style
MANAGING ANGER AND
AGGRESSION
Click to edit Master title style
STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR
TRIGGERS
Identify Your Triggers
Failure
Disappointment
Not getting things your way
Feeling insulted
Perceiving unfairness
Frustration
Stress
Watch your thoughts
• You did that on purpose…
• You wanted to hurt me…
• You deserve this…
• You never even asked me…
• You’re being unreasonable…
• You think you’re so good…
• I’ll show you…
• You started it…
• That’s not fair…
Catch it at the Right time
• Stomach gets tight/upset
• Heart is beating faster
• Clenching fists
• Feel myself getting flushed
• Pressure on my temples
• Sweaty palms
• Clenched jaw
Click to edit Master title style
STEP 2: CHANNELIZE YOUR
ANGER
Express Yourself
 Write a diary
 Talk to a friend
 Paint
Channelize Your Energy
 Go for a jog
 Dance
 Play a sport
 Regularize Breathing
Problem Solve
 Try to look at situation
objectively
 Look at alternatives
 Evaluate various options.
 Be sporty to “try” a new one
Be Regular with
 Sleep
 Appetite
 Recreation
Click to edit Master title style
STEP 3: BUILD EMPATHY
Stop the Blame Game
Stop Blame
Don’t blame yourself
or others
Blaming does not give
solutions
Consider situational
factors
Talk to the “Culprit”
Put yourself in other’s
shoes
Give your point of view
Listen to the other’s
view
Reason
Try to ‘forgive’
Write a Letter to Someone You Have Bullied
Click to edit Master title style
STEP 4: BECOME ASSERTIVE
Styles of Communication
Aggressive: Being a…. Bulldozer!! Passive: Being a… Door Mat!!
Passive Aggressive - Being
a… Sniper!!
Assertive:
Being a… Sign
Board!!
How To Be Assertive?
Do
 Be aware of your emotions and
triggers
 Look for mutually acceptable
alternatives.
 Be specific and clear
 Express your reasons and
feelings
 Listen to the other
 Use “I” statements
 Give feedback about behaviour
 Accept and Apologize when
you make a mistake
 Include positive messages
 Talk one on one
Don’t
 Make excuses
 Apologize for asking
 Always give in
 Put yourself down
 Blame yourself or others
 Criticise the person
 Interrupt
 Be sarcastic
 Shout
 Use physical force
 Use threats
Saying NO
Use assertive body language
Decide on your position before speaking
Don’t apologise when it’s not necessary
Don’t make excuses when not necessary
Don’t ask permission to say no
Don’t wait for acceptance – accept the consequences
The Broken Record Technique
Saying NO
The Bystander Effect
If you see someone being bullied
 Get help from an adult
 Be a friend to the person being bullied
 Help the person get away from the situation
 Don’t give bullying an audience
 Set a positive example
If you walk away and
get help, you’re part of
the solution.
If you stay and watch,
you’re part of the
problem.
Thank You!! 

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Aggression management for peer moderators

  • 1. Aggression Management Name of Peer Moderator: _____________________
  • 2. Is Anger Good or Bad Bad Good Can motivate and energize us to do better Can give us a direction to work towards Can give strength to work against injustice Can lead to aggression and destruction Can lead to impulsive decisions we regret later Can create hostility between people
  • 3. Anger Vs. Aggression Anger Is an emotion Can be good or bad Need not be directed at others Is normal and natural Aggression Is a behaviour Is always harmful Directed at others Can be controlled Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences.
  • 5. Aggression Also Means… Defying authority Bullying Yelling Breaking Things Interrupting Sarcasm Gossiping Spreading rumours Excluding Sitting alone
  • 6. Share YOUR Story of Aggression
  • 7. Who Are You? The bully The bullied The bystander
  • 8. Click to edit Master title style CONSEQUENCES OF AGGRESSION
  • 9. Consequences for the Victim Emotional - sadness, fear, guilt, low self-esteem Physical – injury, frequent illnesses Social – isolation, inability to make friends Academic – inability to concentrate, dropout Behavioural – smoking, drinking, eating too much/too little, school refusal Being a victim of bullying can affect every part of our lives
  • 10. Consequences for the Aggressor It’s not only the victim who suffers
  • 11. Click to edit Master title style IS AGGRESSION LEARNT?
  • 12. Where We Learn From Family Friends Community Media
  • 13. Click to edit Master title style MANAGING ANGER AND AGGRESSION
  • 14. Click to edit Master title style STEP 1: IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS
  • 15. Identify Your Triggers Failure Disappointment Not getting things your way Feeling insulted Perceiving unfairness Frustration Stress
  • 16. Watch your thoughts • You did that on purpose… • You wanted to hurt me… • You deserve this… • You never even asked me… • You’re being unreasonable… • You think you’re so good… • I’ll show you… • You started it… • That’s not fair…
  • 17. Catch it at the Right time • Stomach gets tight/upset • Heart is beating faster • Clenching fists • Feel myself getting flushed • Pressure on my temples • Sweaty palms • Clenched jaw
  • 18. Click to edit Master title style STEP 2: CHANNELIZE YOUR ANGER
  • 19. Express Yourself  Write a diary  Talk to a friend  Paint Channelize Your Energy  Go for a jog  Dance  Play a sport  Regularize Breathing Problem Solve  Try to look at situation objectively  Look at alternatives  Evaluate various options.  Be sporty to “try” a new one Be Regular with  Sleep  Appetite  Recreation
  • 20. Click to edit Master title style STEP 3: BUILD EMPATHY
  • 21. Stop the Blame Game Stop Blame Don’t blame yourself or others Blaming does not give solutions Consider situational factors Talk to the “Culprit” Put yourself in other’s shoes Give your point of view Listen to the other’s view Reason Try to ‘forgive’
  • 22. Write a Letter to Someone You Have Bullied
  • 23. Click to edit Master title style STEP 4: BECOME ASSERTIVE
  • 24. Styles of Communication Aggressive: Being a…. Bulldozer!! Passive: Being a… Door Mat!! Passive Aggressive - Being a… Sniper!! Assertive: Being a… Sign Board!!
  • 25.
  • 26. How To Be Assertive? Do  Be aware of your emotions and triggers  Look for mutually acceptable alternatives.  Be specific and clear  Express your reasons and feelings  Listen to the other  Use “I” statements  Give feedback about behaviour  Accept and Apologize when you make a mistake  Include positive messages  Talk one on one Don’t  Make excuses  Apologize for asking  Always give in  Put yourself down  Blame yourself or others  Criticise the person  Interrupt  Be sarcastic  Shout  Use physical force  Use threats
  • 27. Saying NO Use assertive body language Decide on your position before speaking Don’t apologise when it’s not necessary Don’t make excuses when not necessary Don’t ask permission to say no Don’t wait for acceptance – accept the consequences The Broken Record Technique
  • 30. If you see someone being bullied  Get help from an adult  Be a friend to the person being bullied  Help the person get away from the situation  Don’t give bullying an audience  Set a positive example
  • 31. If you walk away and get help, you’re part of the solution. If you stay and watch, you’re part of the problem.