This talks about the 3 different levels of listening - essential for an Agile coach. This presentation also discusses the 5 different types of conflict and what to do to each of these types from a Coaching perspective

1. Levels of Listening and Managing
Conflicts
Coaching Agile Teams
Srinath Ramakrishnan
@rsrinath
ramakrishnan.srinath@gmail.com

2. Levels of Listening
• Listening is a skill that seems much easier to do than
it actually is.
• Most people think they are good listeners; but few of
us really are.
• The skill of listening is essential to good leadership.
Leaders who don’t listen well, don’t lead well.
• Coaching Agile teams requires that we listen intently
to people. And we cannot listen when we are talking
ourselves – so talk less and listen more.
• What is it to listen well? How do you do it?
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3. Listening – Level 1
• “Listening to ME.” or Internal listening
• We hear the words being spoken, and although we may be
very attentive, we interpret them though our own lens.
• Level 1 listening involves simply noticing everything that’s
going on inside you during a conversation.
– How is the conversation affecting you?
– What thoughts or feelings are you having in the midst of it?
– What opinions or reactions are provoked in you as you converse?
– What are you thinking to say next?
• Level 1 includes even random thoughts about how hungry you
feel right now or what you’re going to do later in the day
• If this is the only kind of listening you’re doing in a
conversation, others will often leave frustrated or
disappointed, feeling neither seen nor heard.
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4. Listening – Level 2
• Also called “Listening to YOU.” or Focused listening
• Level 2 listening involves focusing your full attention 100 percent on
the other person.
• We empathize with their thoughts, experiences and emotions as
they tell us about the situation.
• It’s the meticulous awareness of what they are saying and how they
are saying it, as well as noticing all their nonverbal cues: where
they’re looking, their facial expression, the way they’re holding
themselves, even how they are breathing.
• Level 2 listening is a very present kind of listening.
• In Level 2, you’re never thinking ahead to what you want to say next
or what you’re going to ask. You stay with the person in this present
moment, and trust that the conversation will take on a powerful
flow of its own without you having to control it in one direction or
another.
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5. Level 3 Listening
• “Listening to US.” or Global Listening
• We build on the approach taken in Level 2, adding a higher level of
awareness to pick up subtle physical and environmental indicators – the
speaker’s movements or posture, their energy level and the atmosphere in
the room.
• It involves noticing the vibe of the conversation, the ebb and flow of the
relational connection between you, and even the background noise that’s
present in the dynamic as you talk.
– Is there tension in the air? Is the conversation flat, or full of resonance?
– What are the primary emotions hanging in space between us?
– What’s hanging out there in the space between us that’s not being said?
• Level 3 is often the most powerful kind of listening a leader can employ
because the transformational potential of any conversation is typically not
just about what’s happening in me or what’s happening in you; rather, it’s
about what’s happening in us.
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6. Managing Conflicts
• Conflicts are an inevitable part of project work – when people work
together closely there will be differences of opinion and competing
interests
• Some degree of conflict is healthy – however must ensure that
conflicts do not escalate beyond healthy skepticism and friendly
teasing
• Speed Leas came out with a model, well suited to agile teams,
looks at conflict in a deeply human and humane way – helping us to
look at the situation objectively.
• Identifying the conflict stage can help us determine what actions
we should take and what tools and techniques could be used in the
given situation
• One way to assess the level of conflict is to focus on the language
the team uses and then compare the conversation against 1 -5
conflict
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7. Levels of Conflict
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From “Coaching Agile Teams”

8. Level 1 – Problem to Solve
• Everyday frustrations and aggravations make up this level, and we
experience conflicts as they rise and fall and come and go.
• At this level, people have different opinions, misunderstanding may have
happened, conflicting goals or values may exist, and team members likely
feel anxious about the conflict in the air.
• When in level 1, the team remains focused on determining what’s awry
and how to fix it.
• Information flows freely, and collaboration is alive.
• The language used is generally open hearted and constructive, and people
frequently use factual statements to justify their view points.
• Team members check in with one another if they think a
miscommunication has just happened.
• Level 1 as the level of constructive disagreement that characterizes high-
performing teams.
• “Oh, I see what you are saying now. I still prefer the other approach,
however, because in the past we have seen fewer bugs and less rework
using that technique” 8

9. Level 2 - Disagreement
• At level 2, self-protection becomes as important as solving the
problem.
• Team members distance themselves from one another to ensure
they come out OK in the end or to establish a position for
compromise they assume will come.
• They may talk offline with other team members to test strategies or
seek advice and support. At this level, good-natured joking moves
toward the half-joking barb.
• Nastiness gets a sugarcoating but still comes across as bitter.
• Language reflects this as their words move from the specific to the
general. Fortifying their walls, they don’t share all they know about
the issues.
• Facts play second fiddle to interpretations and create confusion
about what’s really happening.
• “I know you think my idea won’t work as well, but we tried your
approach last year and there were lot of problems”
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10. Level 3 - Contest
• At level 3, the aim is to win.
• The team members start using distorted language, such as
overgeneralizations, presumptions and magnified positions
• People begin to align themselves with one side or the other.
• Emotions become tools used to “win” supporters for one’s
position.
• Views of themselves as benevolent and others as tarnished
become magnified: “I am always the one to compromise for
the good of the team”
• Discussion becomes either/or - and blaming flourishes.
• “He always forgets to check in his code” or “You never listen
to what I have to say.”
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11. Level 4 - Crusade
• At level 4, resolving the situation isn’t good enough. Team members
believe the people on the ”other side” of the issues will not change.
• The conflict becomes ideological and polarized.
• They may believe the only option is to remove the others from the
team or get removed from the team themselves.
• People and positions are seen as one, opening up people to attack
for their affiliations rather than their ideas. These attacks come in
the form of language rife with ideology and principles, which
becomes the focus of conversation, rather than specific issues and
facts.
• The overall attitude is righteous and punitive.
• “They are just plain wrong”. “It’s not even worth talking to them”.
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12. Level 5 – World War
• The language is fully combative.
• “Destroy!” rings out the battle cry at level 5. It’s not enough
that one wins; others must lose.
• Only one option at level 5 exists: to separate the combatants
so that they don’t hurt one another.
• No constructive outcome can be had.
• “It is us or them”. “We have to beat them”.
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13. What should you do about it?
• The goal of navigating conflict is to de-escalate. Knock it down
a notch or two. As an Agile Coach, the first and most
important question to answer is “Do I have to respond?”
• Feel the energy of the group and assess the conflict levels.
• Agile teams—even new ones and even broken ones—can
often navigate conflict by themselves, even conflict up into
the Level 3 range.
• Take some time to observe the conflict make sure we are
seeing both sides of the dispute, not just jumping with a knee
jerk reaction i.e. we simply listen to the complaints without
attempting to solve them.
• If the team can overcome conflict on their own, they would
have built and exercised an important skill and the experience
will equip them to self manage similar conflicts in future.
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14. Responding to conflict
• Level 1 – try constructing a collaborative scenario to illustrate the
competing issues and use that scenario to help build consensus
around a decision that everyone supports
• Level 2 – Empower the relevant team members to solve the
problem and try restore a sense of safety to the group.
• Level 3 – Try to accommodate people’s differing views. Although
this may involve compromising on the work to be done, we should
not compromise team’s values
• Level 4 – Resolving a Level 4 conflict requires diplomacy. Since the
communication is totally broken down, the team may require a
facilitator to convey messages between the differing parties. The
focus should be on de-escalating the conflict in an effort to take it
down to a Level 2.
• Level 5 – A Level 5 conflict may be unresolvable. Instead of trying
to fix it, we may need to figure out how we can give people ways to
live with it. Only at Level 5, we separate opposing individuals to
prevent further harm to each other.
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15. Responding to conflict
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From “Coaching Agile Teams”

16. References
• Coaching Agile Teams – A companion for Scrum
Masters, Agile Coaches, and Project Managers in
Transition by Lyssa Adkins
• Co-Active Coaching by Laura Whitworth and Karen
Kimsey-House
• https://dzone.com/articles/agile-managing-conflict
• http://michaelwarden.com/the-3-levels-of-listening/
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