2. Table of Contents
I. Determining the current level of conflict level in my work life (self-
assessment)
II. Determining my conflict style (self assessment)
III. Resolving a conflict with one other person
IV. Resolving a group conflict.
V. Supervisor’s role in resolving employee conflict
VI. The art of disciplining employees (for supervisors)
VII. The role of HR in conflict resolution
VIII. Listing of informal and formal conflict resolution processes
IX. Conflict Management Reference list
X. Supervisor Network: “Share your wealth of experience”
4. Determining the source of
conflict
At times you may sense conflict at work, but not
know exactly why.
The conflict self-assessment will help you to pinpoint
the specific area in which you are experiencing
conflict so that you can begin to resolve it. The
areas addressed are supervisor, self, peers,
employees, and productivity.
5. What is my conflict style?
Conflict Management Toolkit
Part II
6. Conflict Style
• Not only is it important to know what relationship or
situation is causing conflict in our life, but it is also
important to look at how we normally resolve conflict
(our natural inclination).
• We must then decide whether we are satisfied with our
current approach or if we would like to change it in
some way to improve our effectiveness at conflict
resolution.
7. Style Explanation
• Avoiding
• Accommodating
• Compromising
• Competing
• Collaborating
As you discovered through the conflict resolution
assessment, our natural inclinations usually place us
into one of these styles.
8. Style Explanation
• Avoiding Style (-,-)
– If I ignore the problem, it will go away
– If I confront the problem, I may hurt someone’s
feelings
– Why bother… it won’t change anything
• Accommodating (-,+)
– It’s easier to just give in and give them what they
want
– You will be better liked if you just agree
– By letting the other person win this time, you will
win next time… you have to pick your battles.
9. Style Explanation
• Compromising Style (-,-)
– It’s only fair because then neither of us get what we want.
– Both parties are on an even playing field
– We can choose to give up something we really don’t need, thereby
winning.
• Competing Style (+,-)
– I’m right and you’re wrong
– There is only one solution
• Collaborating (+,+)
– We can find a solution that works for both of us.
– By asking the other person’s perspective, I can understand them.
– Once we find a common ground, we can work from there.
10. Conflict Style
If you find yourself adopting a
conflict style that you’re not happy
about…
1. Analyze why you have adopted that style.
2. Develop some simple action steps that will help
you break your habit.
3. Read on for helpful tips that will guide you
through various conflict situations.
12. If you want to constructively
resolve a conflict with another
person…
• FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a positive
discussion, always remembering to treat the other
person with respect
• SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both of
you to discuss the conflict with each other.
• THIRD, Set some ground rules.
• FOURTH, have a discussion.
14. The Approach
• Go in with the right attitude
• Send positive non-verbal signals
• Focus on the real issues
• Pay attention to communication style
When you are ready to approach
the other person remember to:
15. Your Attitude
Leave Behind…
• Your desire to win, punish,
or control
• Your desire that
everything be “fair”
• Your assumption that it
won’t work
• Your tendency to think in
“black and white”, “right or
wrong”
• Your determination to be
right.
Take With You…
• A willingness to work at this
• An understanding that
“perception is reality” both
for you and those around you.
• A willingness to learn from
the situation
• A willingness to see and
acknowledge your own
contribution to the problem.
16. Be aware of your nonverbal
signals:
• 7 % of the words used;
• 38% on voice quality; and
• 55% on nonverbal
communication
Others impression of you is based on:
17. Focus on underlying Issues
• What happened?
– Difference in expectations:
• What did I expect to happen?; What actually
happened? Who did what?
– Intention inventory (Who meant what?)
• Feelings
– Don’t ignore or fail to acknowledge
– Feelings make relationships enjoyable and difficult
conversations difficult (can’t have one without the
other!)
• Identity
– Must face ourselves as well as other person
– Am I competent?; Am I a good person?; Am I worthy
of love?
18. Communication Tips
Avoid “you” statements
Focus on behavior, not employee
Focus on actions, not intent
Be descriptive and specific (bring data)
Practice active listening skills
Ask open and closed questions to
clarify points
20. Be Timely:
talk to the other person while the
issues are still current
Anger and negative feelings
tend to fester if not dealt with quickly!!
21. Consider the other person’s
time needs
• Don’t interrupt the other person’s
schedule and state that you need to
talk
• Agree on a time to meet with the other
person and inform him/her of the topic.
• Give him/her time to prepare mentally.
23. 3 “Golden” Rules
1. Everyone tells it like they see it.
2. Get everything on the table.
3. Focus on the future.
24. Sample Rules for discussion
• No interruptions
• No yelling
• Time limit on certain topics of
discussion
• Words to avoid
• Agreement on what to do if you can’t
agree ahead of time
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to agree on
how you will talk with each other
26. The Actual Conversation
1. Define the conflict.
2. Communicate understanding.
3. Explore alternative solutions.
4. Agree on most workable solution.
5. Evaluate after time.
27. Define the Conflict
Describe the problem in clear, concrete
terms. Be specific (use “I” not “you”)
Focus on behaviors or problems, not
people
Talk about the impact on you
Define the conflict as a problem to
solve together, not a battle to be won
28. 2. Communicate Understanding
Listen to really understand the other person’s
feelings, needs, Reflect back.
– Explain how you see the problem after you have
heard them.
– Identify your contribution to the situation.
– Describe feelings (not judgments or accusations)
– Talk about identity issues.
29. 3. Explore alternative solutions
- Take turns offering alternative solutions.
List them all.
– Be nonjudgmental of other’s ideas.
– Examine the consequence of each solution.
– Think and talk positively.
30. 4. Agree on most workable
solution
- Agree on a solution you both
understand and can live with.
– Be committed to resolving the
conflict
31. 5. Evaluate after time
Get together after
some time and see
how the new
arrangement is
working for both parties
32. Tips in difficult Situations
• Pacing: one approximates the behavior of the other
person to subconsciously build rapport.
• “Mental Aikido”: mentally moving away from the focal
point of the adversary’s attack. Make a non-linear response
to the adversary’s words. “Sharks expect you to react.”
• “Patterned interruption”: involves varying your
usual response. “You have the capacity to interrupt the
usual destructive pattern by doing something completely
different or unexpected.”
34. Meeting Conflict
1. If you sense a spoken or unspoken conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
“There seems to be some disagreement over this issue. Can we take a few
minutes to clarify the issue.
2. Clarify the conflict.
“O.K. so there seems to be some disagreement over…….”
3. Decide if there is time to deal with it today or if another meeting needs to be set
up to give it full attention.
“Since this seems to be quite an important issue and we don’t have much time
today. Let’s agree to meet again to discuss it further. Can we meet on….”
4. If another meeting is necessary, assign responsibility for gathering more
information on the subject to staff.
“Sue, can you please research information on…. And Diane can you please check
on that State mandate.”
5. Insist employees let it go until the next meeting.
“We have a lot of other issues to discuss today so let’s free our minds of this
issue until the set meeting and move on.”
35. Group Resolution
1. Restate the issue to ensure clarity.
2. Have each group member, share information gathered and give
his/her opinion.
3. Make sure everything is put on the table (no unresolved feelings
popping up later)
4. Brainstorm alternatives
5. Agree on best solution using team decision-making steps (see
reference list at end)
6. Develop action steps.
7. Agree on follow-up session.
37. Your Role as a Supervisor
• Looking for ways to reduce and
prevent conflict in your work
area
• Handling conflict as a third party
• Handling grievances as they come
to you
Involves:
38. You can reduce conflict by:
• Being a good leader
• Being aware of your management style
• Training yourself and your staff on
conflict resolution
• Looking out for signs
39. Be a Good Leader
• Set a good example
• Communicate clear standards
• Set ground rules
• Provide clear rationale for decisions
• Ensure employees have resources and training to do their
jobs
• Get to know your employees
40. Be a Good Leader
• Conduct performance counseling
• Assist employees who have performance problems
• Address misconduct promptly
• Get advice from HR when you have questions or concerns
prior to the need to pursue disciplinary actions
• Treat employees fairly and equitably, applying rules
consistently
41. Be aware of your own
behavior
1. Allowing aggressive or inappropriate conduct without taking
action can foster a hostile or intimidating work
environment.
2. Decision-making without employee input or participation
can lead to frustrated employees who don’t feel valued as
anything but “worker bees.”
3. Your staff looks to you to assist in resolving conflicts.
You are better equipped to resolve conflicts if both you
and your staff have had conflict resolution training.
4. If you are inconsistent or unpredictable, your employees
will be unsure of your expectations and become
frustrated.
5. Engaging in relationships with your employees that are
personal or too informal may lead to misunderstandings, as
well as other employees feeling alienated.
42. Lookout for Signs of
discontentment
• A usually outgoing, communicative employee becomes withdrawn and
quiet.
• An employee frequently comes in late for work.
• An employee is more argumentative and erratic than usual.
• An employee suddenly takes no interest in maintaining his or her personal
appearance or hygiene.
• An employee makes comments about violent means of dealing with, or
coping with, a particular situation.
• An employee talks about “having nothing to lose” or not caring about
anything anymore.
44. Handling Employee Conflicts
• Situation 1: An employee complains to
you about another employee
• Situation 2 You observe a conflict
situation
• Situation 3: An employee would like to
file a formal grievance
45. If an employee comes to you
with a possible grievance:
• Take the complaint seriously
• Set a professional tone for the interview– put the complainant at
ease
• Provide assurance of confidentiality & non-retaliation
• Ask for– but do not require- a written statement.
• Gather facts, do not make judgments.
• Listen and get answers to: “who, what, when, where, why, how.”
• Communicate your concern and describe the available options.
46. Handling a formal complaint
cont…
• Ask how the complainant would like to proceed.
• Tell the complainant that prompt action will be taken.
• Ask about the person (s) need for immediate assistance.
• Refer them to UMW’s grievance policy
• Set a time for a follow-up meeting and/or refer the person
to the HR office
• Document and contact HR.
48. Proactive Steps to Disciplining
employees
(Smart Discipline)
1. Make sure you know UMW’s discipline policy.
2. Share the policy and potential consequences
with your employees.
3. Treat all employees consistently and fairly.
4. Before taking any action, be sure of the facts.
50. Progressive
Discipline
Progressive Discipline means you move through increasingly
stronger counseling or training in an attempt at causing or
convincing the employee to bring his/her performance to an
acceptable level
51. Key Ingredients in Progressive
Discipline
• Due notice
• A chance to improve, and
• A review process
The process should be FULL, FAIR, PROMPT, and
CONDUCTED IN GOOD FAITH.
52. Advantages of Progressive Discipline
1. Protects you against accusations of firing a
person without due process.
2. Chance to turn the employee around into a
well functioning employee.
3. Chance to improve policies and practices
4. Demonstrates to fellow employees that you
are fair and willing to give employees a
chance.
54. 1. How to act when you become aware
of a disciplinary problem
1. Personal Observation
If you observed the negative behavior personally,
you can proceed to the slide labeled counseling.
(Slide 56.)
2. Complaint from a 3rd party
If a 3rd party makes you aware of the negative
behavior, you must make sure you conduct
thorough and fair fact finding steps. (see next
slide).
55. 2. Fact Finding
1. Talk to the accused using the “counseling” guidelines on next slide.
2. If the employee denies the behavior or recounts a different scenario,
explain to him/her that further fact finding is necessary.
3. Talk to only those directly involved in the situation in a confidential
manner.
4. Document all discussions with related parties.
5. Review all relevant documents, pictures or diagrams to substantiate
the fact finding.
56. • Assure employee that only those who need to know will be informed.
• Share concrete examples with the employee of the negative behavior
• State the effects of this negative behavior.
• Describe the behavior you would like to see (what changes must
occur).
• Give the employee a chance to explain or comment.
• Agree together on a plan of action.
• State the consequences if this change of behavior does not occur
3. Counseling the Employee
57. Additional Tips about
Counseling
• Documentation of counseling should be
retained in supervisor’s files, not in
employee’s personnel file.
• Don’t soften the blow, the employee must
understand the severity of his/her actions.
58. 4. Formal Discipline
1. Before taking any formal disciplinary action, consult
with your supervisor.
2. Reference the “Code of Conduct” to match severity
of discipline with negative conduct.
3. Issue a written notice when counseling did not work
or when the conduct was severe enough to warrant
immediate discipline.
4. ALWAYS place a warning about the consequences
of failure to improve performance in writing before
implementing any discipline measures such as
suspension, dismissal.
59. 4. Formal Discipline Continued
5. If the employee’s performance remains poor and
you feel you have provided enough counseling and
given enough warning, follow through on the
threatened discipline.
6. ALWAYS make sure of what you are doing and that
your final decision is fair.
7. Listen to employee and review the evidence one
more time from the employee’s point of view.
8. Finalize the discipline by following your policies.
9. Consult HR as to the actual method of implementing
the discipline.
60. 5. Termination
* NEVER TERMINATE WITHOUT CONSULTING HR
LOGISTICS:
Before conducting a termination, you need to:
* Schedule (when, how long)
* Location
* Extra Support (HR, EAP)
* Prepare (physical & psychological)
* Review separation package
* Think about employee’s state of mind and potential reaction
61. 5. Termination Cont.
OBJECTIVES:
* Deliver the message quickly, respectfully, & professionally
* Ensure individual understands that employment if
terminated immediately or in the near future
* Deliver the separation package
* Strongly encourage employees to utilize Employment
commission or through any job search centre
* Provide structure for the next 24 hours
* Ensure to collect agency property before employee leaves
for the day.
62. Key Points in
Smart Discipline
• Always follow your written policies and past
practices in similar situations
• Lack of consistency will cause a judge to assume
you are discriminating against the employee in some
way.
• Remember that other employees will be watching
you to see if you are fair.
• Always listen to employees and give them a chance
to improve
63. Top Ways to Get Sued…
1. Discharge the disabled worker (without accommodation)
2. Misclassifying a non-exempt employee as exempt and not
paying overtime.
3. Allowing managers and supervisors to use offensive words
as a “joke”.
4. Failure to stop sexual harassment.
5. Punishing the victim (intentionally or unintentionally)
6. Letting managers “go postal” when acting on behalf of
employer.
65. The Role of the
Office of
Human Resources
in Conflict Resolution
66. The Role of HR
If you are in a conflict situation and don’t know how to
deal with it, the Office of HR can:
• Provide you with guidance and tools to approach the conflict
situation.
• Direct you through the appropriate chain of command.
• Present formal and informal options available to you.
• Coordinate mediation, facilitation, or counseling sessions for
you.
67. Things that will help us to help
you…
• At the onset of the conflict;
• With clear examples or facts; and
• With your ideas of what you would like changed in
your situation.
HR will try to help you no matter
what your situation, but we can best
assist you if you come to us:
68. Consult HR as a proactive
rather than reactive measure
A single injury is much easier to fix when
compared to multiple wounds!
70. Informal Processes
“Open Door”:
- Present concern to any available level of management
– Make an appointment
– Be aware of the supervisory chain of command
“Internal Mediation”
- If the conflict issue involves only work
- related situations, your supervisor or a higher level manager can try to assist
the
- two conflicting parties in reaching a solution.
“Mediation”
– Voluntary Process
– Neutral mediators assist discussion
– Parties working out own solutions
– Call HR office or EDR for more information