The Art of Listening
What is active listening?
• It’s a communication skill that involves both the
  speaker and the receiver.
• In active listening, the receiver tries to understand
  what feelings, thoughts, & beliefs are being
  communicated and accepts it as the person’s own.
• The listener feeds back only what they believe the
  sender’s message meant - nothing more, nothing
  less. It involves feedback and verification that the
  receiver correctly understood the senders message.
• The active listener avoids getting stuck in another
  person’s “helpless” feelings.
Why is it important to listen?
Failure to listen brings unfortunate
  results!
Human beings want to express
  themselves, to be heard.
Listening can de-escalate situations.
People can hear four times faster
than others can talk, which gives
a skilled listener time to sort
matters
What Interferes with Listening?
• Sheer laziness and/or just not caring
• Noise and or physical discomfort
• Turing the speaker off and dwelling on the plethora of
  internal distractions
• Letting a remark of the speaker (with which we disagree)
  develop a prejudice which clouds or puts a stop to any
  further listening
• Boredom - remember, we hear four times faster that we
  speak
• Developing your own rebuttal or listening mainly to find
  an opening to state what you have to say (competitive or
  combative listening)
• Allowing personal characteristics of the speaker or his
  poor delivery to prevent understanding
“We were given two ears but
only one mouth. This is because
God knew that listening was
twice as hard as talking.”



                    unknown
In active listening you will:
• listen for the content of the message,
• listen for the feelings of the speaker,
• listen without making judgment,
• respond to the feelings of the speakers,
• note the speakers cues, both verbal and
  nonverbal,
• ask open-ended questions, and
• reflect back to the speaker what you think
  you are hearing.
Active Listening Techniques
•   Encouraging
•   Restating
•   Reflecting
•   Summarizing
Encouragement
• The purpose is to convey interest and to
  keep the person talking.
• To do this don’t agree or disagree. Use
  noncommittal words in a positive tone of
  voice.
• “I see…” “uh-huh…” “That’s interesting”
   “What did you say then?” “What did he
  say when you said that?”
• Be aware of your body language!
Restating
• The purpose is to show that you are
  listening and understanding.
• To do this, restate the other’s basic ideas
  using your own words.
• “If I understand you, you are saying…” “In
  other words, your decision is…”
• Be aware of your body language!
Reflecting
• The purpose is to show that you are
  listening and understand what they are
  feeling.
• To do this restate the other’s basic feeling.
• “You feel that…” “You were pretty
  disturbed by this…”
• Be aware of your body language!
Summarizing
• The purpose is to pull important ideas,
  facts, etc. together, to establish a basis for
  further discussion and to review progress.
• To do this restate, reflect and summarize
  major ideas and feelings.
• “These seem to be the key ideas you have
  expressed…” “If I understand you, you feel
  this way about the situation…”
• Be aware of your body language!
When the Emotion is Directed at
YOU….
• Hearing the speaker out diffuses the
  emotion
If you really want to listen, you
will act like a good listener.
Good listeners are like good
catchers because they give their
speakers a target and then move
that target to capture the
information that is being sent.

Active listening

  • 1.
    The Art ofListening
  • 2.
    What is activelistening? • It’s a communication skill that involves both the speaker and the receiver. • In active listening, the receiver tries to understand what feelings, thoughts, & beliefs are being communicated and accepts it as the person’s own. • The listener feeds back only what they believe the sender’s message meant - nothing more, nothing less. It involves feedback and verification that the receiver correctly understood the senders message. • The active listener avoids getting stuck in another person’s “helpless” feelings.
  • 3.
    Why is itimportant to listen? Failure to listen brings unfortunate results! Human beings want to express themselves, to be heard. Listening can de-escalate situations.
  • 4.
    People can hearfour times faster than others can talk, which gives a skilled listener time to sort matters
  • 5.
    What Interferes withListening? • Sheer laziness and/or just not caring • Noise and or physical discomfort • Turing the speaker off and dwelling on the plethora of internal distractions • Letting a remark of the speaker (with which we disagree) develop a prejudice which clouds or puts a stop to any further listening • Boredom - remember, we hear four times faster that we speak • Developing your own rebuttal or listening mainly to find an opening to state what you have to say (competitive or combative listening) • Allowing personal characteristics of the speaker or his poor delivery to prevent understanding
  • 6.
    “We were giventwo ears but only one mouth. This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking.” unknown
  • 7.
    In active listeningyou will: • listen for the content of the message, • listen for the feelings of the speaker, • listen without making judgment, • respond to the feelings of the speakers, • note the speakers cues, both verbal and nonverbal, • ask open-ended questions, and • reflect back to the speaker what you think you are hearing.
  • 8.
    Active Listening Techniques • Encouraging • Restating • Reflecting • Summarizing
  • 9.
    Encouragement • The purposeis to convey interest and to keep the person talking. • To do this don’t agree or disagree. Use noncommittal words in a positive tone of voice. • “I see…” “uh-huh…” “That’s interesting” “What did you say then?” “What did he say when you said that?” • Be aware of your body language!
  • 10.
    Restating • The purposeis to show that you are listening and understanding. • To do this, restate the other’s basic ideas using your own words. • “If I understand you, you are saying…” “In other words, your decision is…” • Be aware of your body language!
  • 11.
    Reflecting • The purposeis to show that you are listening and understand what they are feeling. • To do this restate the other’s basic feeling. • “You feel that…” “You were pretty disturbed by this…” • Be aware of your body language!
  • 12.
    Summarizing • The purposeis to pull important ideas, facts, etc. together, to establish a basis for further discussion and to review progress. • To do this restate, reflect and summarize major ideas and feelings. • “These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed…” “If I understand you, you feel this way about the situation…” • Be aware of your body language!
  • 13.
    When the Emotionis Directed at YOU…. • Hearing the speaker out diffuses the emotion
  • 14.
    If you reallywant to listen, you will act like a good listener. Good listeners are like good catchers because they give their speakers a target and then move that target to capture the information that is being sent.

Editor's Notes

  • #3 Your focus as the listener is on the speaker, and you provide an active mirror to reflect an understanding of what the other person is meaning and feeling.. active listening involves reaching below the service of what is being said
  • #4 t is important to hear not just the facts, but the intent and the emotional overtones. It is important to remember that whenever a person decides to communicate with another person,, they do so because they have a need
  • #5 Someone summarize what I’m saying …..”There is no reason not to listen
  • #7 “ What is the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is taking in a sound. Listening is a learned process, and includes paying attention, processing the information coming in and remembering it.
  • #10 Act and look like a good listener. We spend much of our lives learning how to be a deflector and not a receiver. When appropriate look at the person, pick up the non-verbal signals . React to the speakers by sending out non-verbal signals Use open ended questions Non verbal -- Actions speak louder that words. eye rolling People involved in a conflict tend to pay close attention to the body language, voice inflections, and work choice. Body language is often a major cause for rapid escalation of conflicts. 75% of our communication in non verbal
  • #13 Summarize in you own words what the person has just said, Don’t be a parrot, just summarize briefly. I do want to tell you that this technique must be practiced regularly to become effective. It really is an art. It isn’t natural and may seem stiff and awkward as first.
  • #14 Why did it take you so long to…..Listen for the statement not the question