Verbal abuse is one of the worst aspects of martial life for those that are the victims of it and the ones that do verbal abuse are quite frankly the worst.

1. The Evil of the Tongue
Verbal abuse isone of the worst aspectsof martial life forthose thatare the victimsof itand the ones
that do the verbal abuse are quite franklythe worst.The age oldsayingof sticks and stonesmay break
my bones,butnames will neverhurt meis quite literallyflawedinitscore meaning.There have been
casespresentedwhere awomanwhohadbeenverballyabusedforyearsbyherhusbandeveninfront
of herchildren,resultinginherlosingall of herownself-respect.
Verbal abuse takesmanyformsevenif the persondoingitdoesnotrealize thathe ishurtingthe other
person.Sadlyinthe case of wife andhusband,itisalwaysdirectinsulting inthe formof criticizing.One
of the worse waysto verballyabuse andreallyhurtanotherpersonistoignore all of thatperson’s
goodnessandeffortsandsimplycompare themtosome otheraccomplishedperson.Thisismost
commonamong husbandswhoverballyabusetheirwivesforpettyreasons.One of the saddestrealities
of thishorrificpractice isthatit isnot limitedorsmall inscale.Rathereveryone andespeciallyMuslim
householdstodaysufferthiscurse. Whatmostpeople fail torealizeisthatVerbal Abuse hurtsdeeply,
evenif itdoesnot hurtas much as physical abuse.
One of the mainconcernsaboutthisevil isthat itis hard to identify.Whenapersonhitshiswife,the
bruisesare veryreal for all to see andassessthat thiscouple isina damagedrelationship.However,
Verbal abuse cannotbe physicallyidentified,butleavesemotional scarsandwoundedspiritswhichis
much more dangerous.One thingtoconsiderandacceptis that verbal abuse isdone frombothsidesof
the relationship.Wivesoftenare quicktoverballyabuse theirhusbandsandnotonlythem, but involve
all hisfamilyintheirharshwords.
The religionof IslamisperfectanditsmessengerProphetMuhammad(SAW) isthe greatestof creation.
As such,Islamhas recognizedthe problemsof verbal abuse andhave guideditsfollowerstorefrainfrom
it. The Messengerof Allah(SAW), said,“A truebelieveris notinvolved in taunting orfrequently cursing
(others) orin indecency or abusing.”'(al-Tirmidhi)
Keepingthishadithof ProphetMuhammad(SAW) inmind,all those menwhothinktheyare notabusing
theirwivesbecause theydon’thitthembutregularlyandwithoutfail neverleaveanopportunityto
criticize orverballyabuse them,reallyneedtoreconsidertheirbehavior.The same canbe saidfor
wives.
IdentifyVerbal Abuse
If a personwishesto betterhisorherconditionwithhispartner,itisthe most importantsteptofirst
recognize the problemthatwhetherverbal abuse existsornot.There are some waysto do it.Notice if
youare alwayshumiliatedordepressed,if youhave the feelingthat youcan’t do anythingright,if your
spouse belittlesyouall the time,if yourspouse ignoresyourachievements,orif yourspouse blamesyou
inparticularfor all the problemsof life.
Once that has beendone,itistime totake the nextstepwithoutfearinganyoneexceptAllah(SWT).
Converse withyourspouse regardingthe problemsinlife andextendclearboundariesinwhichyou

2. explaintothemthatwhatis tolerable andwhatisnottolerable.Itisalwaysgoodto involve an
intellectual andgoodthirdpartyintothe mix to sort outyour problems.These caneitherbe atherapist,
but whatis more preferredisareligiousscholar.A learnedmanof the Quran and Islamcan putthe fear
and love of Allah(SWT) intopeople andguide themhow tobehave andrespectothersthroughthe
teachingsof ProphetMuhammad(SAW).
About Quran School
Since itsinceptionin2007, Quran School has beenprovidingaconvenientwaytolearnQuranonline and
the historyof Islam,for kids andadultsthroughonline Quran teachers.
http://www.quranschool.com/blog/the-evil-of-the-tongue