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Contingent Communication
1
Mark Brady, PhD
FloweringBrain@gmail.com
What primarily drives the growth
of new brain cells and new connections?
2Feedback from the significant nouns in our lives.
Still Face
Viewer Discretion Advised
At its roots, there are three components
required to communicate skillfully and contingently.
Contingent (Give-and-Take) Communication
3
The most powerful form of feedback:
At its roots, there are three components
required to communicate skillfully and contingently.
First, we have to be open
to receiving whatever
message is being sent in
all it’s complexity. This
often includes what isn’t
being said, as well as the
many nonverbal ways
messages are
communicated.
Contingent (Give-and-Take) Communication
4
The most powerful form of feedback:
5
Second, after we
receive a message,
we have to do our
best to accurately
understand its meaning.
Mental, physical and
emotional states need
to be accurately
assessed and clearly
reflected, and …
6
Third and finally,
for communication
to be truly contingent …
we must respond in a
timely and effective manner.
“The opposite of love ist not hate, it’s indifference.”
~ Elie Wiesel
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech.
7
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
8
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
9
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech,
10
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech, and
abstinence from idle chatter.”
11
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech, and
abstinence from idle chatter.” In the
vernacular this means not lying, not using
speech in ways that create discord among
people, not using swear words or a cynical,
hostile or raised tone of voice, and not
engaging in gossip.
12
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech, and
abstinence from idle chatter.” In the
vernacular this means not lying, not using
speech in ways that create discord among
people, not using swear words or a cynical,
hostile or raised tone of voice, and not
engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the
positive, these guidelines urge us to say
only what is true, to speak in ways that
promote harmony among people, to use a
tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and
gentle, and to speak mindfully in order
that our speech is useful and purposeful.
13
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech, and
abstinence from idle chatter.” In the
vernacular this means not lying, not using
speech in ways that create discord among
people, not using swear words or a cynical,
hostile or raised tone of voice, and not
engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the
positive, these guidelines urge us to say
only what is true, to speak in ways that
promote harmony among people, to use a
tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and
gentle, and to speak mindfully in order
that our speech is useful and purposeful.
14
~ Beth Roth
Right Speech Reconsidered
Right Speech is a mindfulness
practice. Buddha was precise in his
description of Right Speech. He defined it
as “abstinence from false speech,
abstinence from malicious speech,
abstinence from harsh speech, and
abstinence from idle chatter.” In the
vernacular this means not lying, not using
speech in ways that create discord among
people, not using swear words or a cynical,
hostile or raised tone of voice, and not
engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the
positive, these guidelines urge us to say
only what is true, to speak in ways that
promote harmony among people, to use a
tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and
gentle, and to speak mindfully in order
that our speech is useful and purposeful.
~ Beth Roth
Right Speech Reconsidered
THINK
Is it True? - T
Is it Kind? - K
Is it Necessary? - N
Is it Inspiring? - I
Is it Helpful? - H
15

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Contingent Communication

  • 1. Contingent Communication 1 Mark Brady, PhD FloweringBrain@gmail.com
  • 2. What primarily drives the growth of new brain cells and new connections? 2Feedback from the significant nouns in our lives. Still Face Viewer Discretion Advised
  • 3. At its roots, there are three components required to communicate skillfully and contingently. Contingent (Give-and-Take) Communication 3 The most powerful form of feedback:
  • 4. At its roots, there are three components required to communicate skillfully and contingently. First, we have to be open to receiving whatever message is being sent in all it’s complexity. This often includes what isn’t being said, as well as the many nonverbal ways messages are communicated. Contingent (Give-and-Take) Communication 4 The most powerful form of feedback:
  • 5. 5 Second, after we receive a message, we have to do our best to accurately understand its meaning. Mental, physical and emotional states need to be accurately assessed and clearly reflected, and …
  • 6. 6 Third and finally, for communication to be truly contingent … we must respond in a timely and effective manner. “The opposite of love ist not hate, it’s indifference.” ~ Elie Wiesel
  • 7. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. 7
  • 8. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, 8
  • 9. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, 9
  • 10. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, 10
  • 11. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” 11
  • 12. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” In the vernacular this means not lying, not using speech in ways that create discord among people, not using swear words or a cynical, hostile or raised tone of voice, and not engaging in gossip. 12
  • 13. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” In the vernacular this means not lying, not using speech in ways that create discord among people, not using swear words or a cynical, hostile or raised tone of voice, and not engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the positive, these guidelines urge us to say only what is true, to speak in ways that promote harmony among people, to use a tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and gentle, and to speak mindfully in order that our speech is useful and purposeful. 13
  • 14. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” In the vernacular this means not lying, not using speech in ways that create discord among people, not using swear words or a cynical, hostile or raised tone of voice, and not engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the positive, these guidelines urge us to say only what is true, to speak in ways that promote harmony among people, to use a tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and gentle, and to speak mindfully in order that our speech is useful and purposeful. 14 ~ Beth Roth Right Speech Reconsidered
  • 15. Right Speech is a mindfulness practice. Buddha was precise in his description of Right Speech. He defined it as “abstinence from false speech, abstinence from malicious speech, abstinence from harsh speech, and abstinence from idle chatter.” In the vernacular this means not lying, not using speech in ways that create discord among people, not using swear words or a cynical, hostile or raised tone of voice, and not engaging in gossip. Re-framed in the positive, these guidelines urge us to say only what is true, to speak in ways that promote harmony among people, to use a tone of voice that is pleasing, kind, and gentle, and to speak mindfully in order that our speech is useful and purposeful. ~ Beth Roth Right Speech Reconsidered THINK Is it True? - T Is it Kind? - K Is it Necessary? - N Is it Inspiring? - I Is it Helpful? - H 15

Editor's Notes

  1. The Courage to Grieve – Judy Tatelbaum - Grief, worked through, serves an integrative function.
  2. The Courage to Grieve – Judy Tatelbaum - Grief, worked through, serves an integrative function.
  3. “Say What You See.” There are plenty of frameworks and venues for evoking and triggering soft and hard traumatic memories and emotions. The greater work is to create frameworks and venues where soft and hard traumatic memories and emotions can be resolved in ways that lead to healing integration and increased capacities for processing energy and information.
  4. “Say What You See.” There are plenty of frameworks and venues for evoking and triggering soft and hard traumatic memories and emotions. The greater work is to create frameworks and venues where soft and hard traumatic memories and emotions can be resolved in ways that lead to healing integration and increased capacities for processing energy and information.
  5. The Courage to Grieve – Judy Tatelbaum - Grief, worked through, serves an integrative function.