3. When is divorce ok?
•That is a loaded question, one that I
can’t give an answer to just yet…
•Celeb divorces almost always use the phrase,
“irreconcilable differences”
•Here are some of the excuses folks use…
•Today we will get a solid understanding of the
topic in about 30 minutes or so…
4. “Nevertheless, each individual among you also
is to love his own wife even as himself, and the
wife must see to it that she respects her
husband.”
Ephesians 5:33, NASB
5. A. “Love and Respect”
•Cultivation of a marriage is not by emotion, but
commitment to one another and total obedience
to the Lord
•The main reason for such high divorce ratesz
comes from the idea that marriage lasts only as
long as one “feels” love for their spouse
•Ever heard this lie?
• “Loving feelings should come naturally in a
relationship, so if you have to work at it,
something’s wrong.”
6. “4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not
jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek
its own, is not provoked, does not take into
account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NASB
7. A. “Love and Respect”
•Love is hard work!
•V33 has two simple commands– both are
IMPOSSIBLE without the help of the Holy
Spirit
8. “Nevertheless, each individual among you also
is to love his own wife even as himself, and the
wife must see to it that she respects her
husband.”
Ephesians 5:33, NASB
9. A. “Love and Respect”
•Love is hard work!
•V33 has two simple commands– both are
IMPOSSIBLE without the help of the Holy Spirit
•Ruth Graham at their 35th Anniversary
•Commitment is a decision to have the abundant
marriage God desires, regardless of circumstances
or whether you think your spouse is doing his or
her part, because your marriage is an unbreakable
covenant before God
10. A. “Love and Respect”
•Ancient Hebrew culture understood a
covenant not as a contract, which could be
broken, but as a binding , permanent
agreement – just like the covenant God makes
with us
•The root of most marital problems is sin, and
the root of all sin is selfishness
•Think about this; What wife wouldn’t love…
11. B. Give your BEST
•I’ve told y’all that there was a time when
Sheira was planning to leave me
•There’s a book by Dr. Ed Wheat that has given me
an acronym I’m trying to live by—BEST
1) Bless-- Bless your spouse with your word
constantly without lying. Look for something
good he or she does even if they are few, instead
of bad things. Praise him or her for the work
they do; or how she looks. Send cards by snail-
mail. Give her flowers or stick a love note in
his/her lunch
12. B. Give your BEST
(Still under #1)
•To keep your marriage brimming with love in
the love-cup, when you ’re wrong, admit it;
and when you’re right, shut up!
•14 sincere words that make marriage work:
•“I am sorry,” “I was wrong,” “Please forgive me,”
“I love you,” and “Yes, dear.”
13. B. Give your BEST
2) Edify: Build each other up with your
words in front of each other, especially to
other people; never down-talk your spouse to
others. T ell others how blessed you are to have
him/her. Pray for your spouse to be what the
Lord wants that person to be, not what you
want. And expect that the Lord will work on
you before He works on your spouse. It may be
painful, but worth it, I promise
14. B. Give your BEST
3) Share: Share your spouse’s desires as your
desires. Husbands, be attentive to your wife
when she talks to you without watching TV, or
other distractions. Give her your full attention.
That goes the same for you, wives. Back to both of
you: Honor what your spouse likes more than what
you like. Have frequent date nights. Just the two of
you. You don’t have to go to expensive restaurants
to make your dates special. Choose to be romantic;
choose to be sensitive to each other. Marriage is
like riding a bike uphill, you constantly have to
pedal, otherwise it will go down-hill fast
15. B. Give your BEST
4) Touch: I am not talking about sexual
touching. I am talking about physical
gestures. A wink, a smile from across the room;
squeezing a hand or shoulder when you pass by.
Let each other know that you love and care.
•It won’t be fixed in a week
•If you are struggling, NEVER seek Lost counsel
16. C. Divorce
•Today, people in unpleasant
marriages think there are only two
options: stay married and be
miserable, or go through divorce and be happy
•Often, it creates more problems than it fixes
•Here is what Scripture says about divorce:
17. “ For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of
Israel, “and him who covers his garment with
wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed
to your spirit, that you do not deal
treacherously.”
Malachi 2:16, NASB
18. C. Divorce
•Today, people in unpleasant
marriages think there are only two
options: stay married and be
miserable, or go through divorce and be happy
•Often, it creates more problems than it fixes
•Divorce was never to be preferred or easy
•The Hebrew words means “A hewing off”
20. “ 2 For the married woman is bound by law to
her husband while he is living; but if her
husband dies, she is released from the law
concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her
husband is living she is joined to another man,
she shall be called an adulteress; but if her
husband dies, she is free from the law, so that
she is not an adulteress though she is joined to
another man.” Romans 7:2-3, NASB
22. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife,
except for immorality, and marries another
woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:9, NASB
23. C. Divorce- 3 Reasons Scriptural
1.Death
2.Adultery
3.Desertion
24. “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him
leave; the brother or the sister is not under
bondage in such cases, but God has called us
to peace..”
1 Corinthians 7:15, NASB
25. C. Divorce
•God’s intent is that one man and
one woman be devoted to each
other in marriage for one lifetime
• Divorce for reasons other than those given in
Scripture, even though legal, grieve the heart
of God and are actually disobedience to Him
•So, PD, are you condemning people who’ve
been divorced? Of course not…
26. Take Home…
1) Commitment to stay married is a deciding to have
the abundant marriage God desires, whether you think your
spouse is doing his or her part or not-- because your
marriage is an unbreakable covenant before God
2) Give your spouse your BEST: Bless, Edify, Share, Touch
3) Biblical divorce is not mandatory, rather an option that the
Lord allows but hates still
4) Tolstoy said, “What counts in making a happy marriage is
not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with
incompatibility.”
