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The pillars of a healthy and happy marriage

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Presentation on basic components of a healthy and happy marriage.

Published in: Health & Medicine, Education
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The pillars of a healthy and happy marriage

  1. 1. The Four Pillars for a Healthy and Happy Marriage<br />Lucia Merino, LCSW<br />Psychotherapist<br />(408) 242-4544<br />
  2. 2. The Four Pillars Are: <br />Knowing<br />Yourself<br />Effective/Good<br />Communication<br />Having fun<br />Together!<br /> Trust<br />LOVELOVELOVELOVE<br />
  3. 3. Knowing Yourself<br />Know yourself (where you come from, where you are, and where do you want to go).<br />Your parents<br />Your present moment<br />Your reasons for being married<br />Your goals as a married person<br />
  4. 4. Trust<br /> Can I trust this person to be my friend?<br /> To listen to me when I am upset, to be a partner, <br /> to share the house work, the power?<br />Can I trust this person to accept me as I am?<br />Can I trust this person to help me if I have a problem?<br />Can I trust this person to carry the weight<br /> of our marriage together? Finances, work, children, family, etc.<br />Will this person respect me?<br /> There can’t be trust if there is no respect.<br /> Deal breakers –the 3 As:<br /> Addiction, Adultery, and Abuse.<br />
  5. 5. Communication<br />Communication must be honest and respectful.<br />Men and Women communicate differently.<br />Men want to go to the point and fix the problem and women want to be listened and understood.<br />Open the communication lines as frequently as possible. Because holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.<br />How do you repair –based on the quality of the relationship in the marriage. How much money is the emotional bank account. If you have been loving, supportive, etc, the repair attempt is more likely to work, regardless of what it is.<br />
  6. 6. Having fun together<br />Looking for opportunities to laugh together<br />Schedule times to do fun activities –from board games<br /> to parasailing !<br />Get in the habit of having monthly dating rituals: Intimacy is needed to nurture the love needed in a relationship (date, have fun, and have satisfying sex)<br />This adventure we call life goes by in the blink of an eye; relish your sweetheart’s presence while he or she is still here.<br />
  7. 7. The four pillars for a lasting marriage and a happy family<br />Trust<br />Respect<br />Know<br />Your<br /> Self<br />Have<br />Fun<br />Tog<br />E<br />ther!<br />Good<br />Communication<br />
  8. 8. Quantity vs QualityIt has been said that it’s the quality of time, not the quantity of time that matters. But now we know that it’s the quantity of qualitytime spent together that leads to a wonderful marriage<br />
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  10. 10. LISTEN<br />LOVE<br />DATE <br />AGAIN<br />TRUST<br />HAVE FUN<br />2GDR<br />RESPECT<br />

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