This document provides teaching on the topic of forgiveness. It defines forgiveness as letting go of resentment and the desire for revenge. It also discusses why forgiveness is important, such as for maintaining relationships with God and others. The document outlines different levels of offenses that require forgiveness and the process of forgiving through naming the harm, grieving, and allowing God to replace grief with joy. It emphasizes that forgiveness is a choice and should be given unconditionally and without limits.

1. LESSON 5
Christine Niang Stephens & James Lalpu

2. Key Scriptures:
• 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against
you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if
you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will
not forgive your sins.
• 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
•
4Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
Matthew 6:14-15
Ephesians 4:32
Isaiah 53:4-6

3. Key Scriptures:
• 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I have come that they may have
life, and have it to the full.
• 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he
cares for you.
• 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold
anything against anyone, forgive them, so
that your Father in heaven may forgive you
your sins.”
• 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
and will forgive us our sins and purify us
from all unrighteousness.
John 10:10
1 Peter 5:7
Mark 11:25
1 John 1:9

4. KEY CONCEPTS
FORGIVENESS

5. FORGIVENESS IS
• A gift from God
• Brings freedom and releases from the power of sin over us
• Releases us from the power of sins committed against us
• Getting pardon to, releasing, letting go of the hurt and
pain someone has caused us
• Mends broken relationship
• Brings healing to me and to those I have hurt
• Allows you to release resentment against your offender
and enables you to sincerely desire the best for them
• A choice
• A way of life

6. Three Biblical Concepts
Dealing with Forgiveness
These ideas are found in three different Greek
words.
1. Jesus used one in Mt. 6:12, “Forgive us our
debts as we forgive our debtors.”
• The word forgive (aphiemi) means to “Let it
drop,” “Let go of.”
2. The second word, charizomai, is used in Eph.
4:32, “God in Christ also forgave you.”
• Here the word forgive means “To be
gracious,” “To give freely,” “Do a favor for.”

7. 3. The third word means “To let it pass” or “To
let go, unpunished.” Greek word paresis.
• Used in Rom. 3:25, it says, “God forgave
(let go unpunished) the sins that were
previously committed.”

8. Three Biblical Concepts Dealing with
Forgiveness
1. “Let it drop,” “Let go of.”
2. “To be gracious,” “To give
freely,” “Do a favor for.”
3. “To let it pass” or “To let go,
unpunished.”

9. Forgiveness means you –
1. Don’t seek revenge in any way.
2. Cancel all debts.
3. Don’t criticize.
4. Forgive unconditionally.
5. Bless the person. (Blessings – wishing the
best in life)
Q. What does it look like to forgive
someone practically?

10. FORGIVENESS IS NOT
• Burying your pain and hurt
• Denying or excusing (making light of what happened)
• Pretending the hurt never happened
• A feeling
• Reconciliation – does not mean you return to the arms of
the abuser

11. Obstacles to Forgiveness (Richard Winter)
• “It feels as if justice will not be done.”
• “It feels like it denies the pain and
seriousness of the damage.”
• “It feels like I should be able to trust again
but I can’t.”
• “Forgiving means I’m weak.”
This is one of the greatest impasses to
forgiving.
The opposite is true.

12. • “I would be powerless and vulnerable
again if I let them off the hook.”
• “I can never forget.”
• “I am still in pain and hurting, I don’t feel
like I can forgive.”

13. WHY DO WE FORGIVE?
• We are created to be in a right relationship with God the
Father
• Unforgiveness puts wedge between God and us and a
wedge between others and us
• Forgiveness allows us to love in the face of real pain and
evil
• Forgiveness allows us to restore a tender closeness with
our heavenly Father

14. Failure to forgive causes a root of
bitterness to spring up.
Two things happen when a root of
bitterness springs up:
1. The person causes for himself trouble.
Perhaps even destroying himself.
2. It spreads defilement. It has polluting
effect on the environment.

15. Forgive for Your Own Sake
1. You cannot hurt the perpetrator by being
unforgiving.
• The glass of poison.
• You can set yourself free by forgiving.
• "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and
discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis
B. Smedes
2. “Unforgiveness is a heavy burden to
carry.”

16. 3. You will be healthier if you forgive.
Study after study shows that one of the
keys to longevity and good health is to
develop a habit of gratitude and letting go
of past hurts.
4. You have the joy of knowing you did what
pleases God.
Ephesians 4:32 “…forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ's sake
has forgiven you.”

17. I forgive. First, because I've been forgiven
by God. Second, unforgiveness makes
me miserable. And third, I'm going to
need more forgiveness in the future. So
we don't forgive for their benefit. We
actually forgive for ours.
~Rick Warren

18. The Greatest Reason to Forgive
Not merely for your own sake.
Leslie Leyland Fields* says,
“Forgiveness is not for . . . personal freedom
and happiness alone. It’s to bring the mercy of
God among us frail humans.”
“Biblical forgiveness does release us, and not
simply from our own anger and hurt. (It)
releases us to bring the mercy we receive from
God out into the world to others.”
* Christianity Today, May 5, 2014

19. “The more forgiving we become, the less
offense we take from others.”
“Forgiveness does liberate: it opens our
hearts rather than closes them to the
suffering of others.”

20. WHAT DO I FORGIVE OR ASK
FORGIVENESS FOR?
• Nothing is too big – “If you knew how bad my sin is” –
that thought is a lie of the enemy
• Nothing is too small – “Oh that was nothing” – did it hurt
you?
• A sin against you such as: verbal abuse, gossip, slander,
emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, a crime
against you, betrayal, abandonment, rejection, that has
caused you injury and pain
Col. 3:13 – Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other,
whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you,
so also should you.

21. Level One
Least serious level consists of everyday
failures in relationships.
Level Two
Involves neglect or deliberate acts which cause
disruption in relationships.
Level Three
Involve physical, sexual, or emotional abuse that
results in extreme personal and relational harm.
Level Four
Not merely particular acts, but a state of sin,
tolerance of gross neglect or abusive treatment.

22. “Unforgiveness is delayed emotions
involving resentment, bitterness, lingering
anger, lingering fear, hatred, hostility, and
stress, which motivate people to reduce
the unforgiveness.” Worthington
It is a jumble of emotions.
There are two important parts to this
definition:
1. Unforgiveness is an emotion.
2. And unforgiveness motivates people to
get rid of or avoid negative emotion.

23. WHEN DO I FORGIVE?
Forgiveness can be hard especially when someone has hurt you. We have
to choose to forgive even if we don’t feel the good emotions. And you
might have to choose the same person tomorrow. A day will come when
the pain no longer hurts.

24. HOW OFTEN DO I FORGIVE?
Matthew 18:21-22 – Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord how
often shall my brother sin against me an I forgive him? Up to seven
times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but
up to seventy times seven.”
ALWAYS!

25. Process of forgiveness
Naming the harm that was don’t to you – Being
honest
Allowing yourself to grieve over the harm done
to you
Receiving the love of the Father
Allowing the Father o replace grief with joy
Placing the arm in the hand of God who cares
more about the hurt done to you than you do

26. The Pyramid Model
to R-E-A-C-H
Forgiveness
Hold
on to
Forgiveness
Commit Publicly to
Forgiveness
Altruistic Gift of
Forgiveness
Empathize
Recall the Hurt
Dr. Everett
Worthington

27. Six Actions to Take to Hold On To
Forgiveness
1. Realize that the pain of remembering real hurt
is not unforgiveness.
2. Don’t dwell on negative emotions.
3. Remind yourself that you have forgiven the
person.
4. Seek reassurance from your spouse, your
pastor or a friend.
5. Use the document that you created
6. Look at the Pyramid Model to REACH
Forgiveness and think through the steps again.

28. PRAYER OF FORGIVENESS
Dear Lord,
I choose to forgive ____(name the person)_____ for
__(name their offense)__
But Father, when they did this things, I felt __(describe
the effects of the sin). Please take these emotions from me
and place them on the cross. I open my heart to receive
what you want to give me in exchange for the hurt.
Thank you for healing the effects of these sins on my
soul.
Amen