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Divorce Prevention 101: Handling In-Laws
- 1. Divorce Prevention 101 pt.4 Staying Married by Brian Birdow www.cmcoc.org
- 2. Reasons for divorce 1. Lack of communication 2. Finance 3. Feeling constrained/ Un-met expectations 4. In-laws 5. Unfaithfulness
- 3. (4) In-laws • Allowing in-laws to run the relationship • When one spouse believes you love them (in- laws) more than me! • When the in-laws don’t go away! • When the in-laws try and make you choose between them and your spouse
- 4. In-laws • When one spouse believes that the in-law is not fit to watch the kids! • The in-laws standard for rearing children is different from the spouse so the kids cannot be left alone! • One spouse thinks that if they are not good enough for you then neither am I because they raised me!
- 5. In-laws • When the in-laws question your every decision. • When the in-laws don’t offer advice they issue edicts! • When in-laws show favoritism
- 6. How to handle in-laws? •Sorry I don’t know either
- 7. How to handle in-laws (seriously) 1. Leave and cleave • Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
- 8. How to handle in-laws 2. Have a meeting with each other first and then with them together. Communicate how you feel • Be sensible he/she is not about to stop seeing family just because you don’t like them! • In Acts 15 the Apostles had a meeting of minds and they even sent out letters.
- 9. How to handle in-laws? 3. Don’t get married in the first place. • Don’t think he/she will abandon family now that they are married! • Make sure yall can get along and that yall are in accord with one another.
- 11. (5) Unfaithfulness • One spouse has had an affair • One spouse suspects the other of having an affair • One spouse has wondering eyes
- 12. How to prevent infidelity 1. Remember your vow you made to GOD and your spouse. • To love HER/HIM….not another 2. Make a covenant with your eyes! • Job 31:1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
- 13. How to prevent infidelity 3. By knowing how it starts. (Matt. 5:27-28) • Unchecked desires! • James 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
- 14. How to prevent infidelity • 1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. • EYES, FLESH, PRIDE (vain glory) • Avoid certain places!
- 15. Have a healthy love life • Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. • Proverbs 5:19 Let her be as the loving deer and graceful doe; let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and be ravished always with her love.
- 16. Have a healthy love life • 1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. • 1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife has not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife.
- 17. Have a healthy love life • 1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
- 18. The affair has happened! • You still have to forgive. • Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
- 19. The affair has happened • Try and make it work if he/she is willing • Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. • You can heal and trust can be restored. • It will take time!