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Already in Progress, Chapter 22
1. Hello, and welcome to Already in Progress! Did you know that if the point of the game
were to kill off all oneâs Sims, I would be world champion? I know this is true and not
just idle boasting or wishful thinking because the game told me so. And the game would
never lie. Right?
When I am not busy being the hypothetical world champion of Sim-killing, I am busy
documenting the lives of the residents of Sandersville. Letâs see how well Iâve been
doing at that, shall we? We can start at the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope,
where the plot (such as it is) is Already in ProgressâŚ
2. BARTHOLOMEW, WHO IS IN BLUE AND HAS A SHAVED HEAD TO SHOW
THAT HE IS A FULL BROTHER, NOT JUST A NOVICE LIKE MATTHIAS AND
TYRONE: So whereâs the new guy?
MATTHIAS: Using the energizer. Heâll be out in a minute.
BARTHOLOMEW: He needs that thing every day, doesnât he?
MATTHIAS: He really doesnât like making Sir Bricks-A-Lots.
BARTHOLOMEW: Who does?
(cue flashback sound effects)
3. TYRONE: Howâs your level?
MATTHIAS: Middling green. Howâs yours?
TYRONE: Low green. Date?
MATTHIAS: Sure, why not?
TYRONE: So what are you up for? Chat, Joke, couple games of Red Hands, maybe a
Friendly Hug?
MATTHIAS: Actually, I was thinking (whispers)
4. TYRONE: Monks are allowed to do that?
MATTHIAS: We are NOT MONKS, okay? And the whole point of the Brotherhood is to
get pregnant â of course we arenât celibate!
5. TIMOTHY: So I think Iâve found a publisher!
SARAH JANE: For your thesis?
TIMOTHY: Yes, I reworked it into a book and I think it will do really well.
SARAH JANE: Whatâs it called again?
TIMOTHY: Logical Positivism and the Existential Ontology Movement: Influences in
Modal Logic and Naturalism. By Timothy Miller. I guess.
SARAH JANE: Youâre not sure of the title? Or of your name?
TIMOTHY: Iâm not sure how to sign it. I donât actually like âTimothy,â and âTimmyâ is
so childish. But âTim Millerâ sounds like someone youâd go to the game with, not a
philosopher. And I donât like the combination âT. A.â I was thinking of âT. Aaron
Miller,â maybe, but itâs just â lacking somethingâŚ
6. SARAH JANE: How about âT. Aaron Littledragonâ? That sounds nice.
TIMOTHY: It does. (thoughtfully) âLogical Positivism and the Existential Ontology
Movement: Influences in Modal Logic and Naturalism, by T. Aaron Littledragon.â But
my nameâs not âLittledragon.â
SARAH JANE: Mine is. Iâd be willing to share.
8. JON: Hey, Timmy. (fierce hug) Thanks for taking care of my daughter.
TIMOTHY: Ooof. Heh. Youâre welcome, I guess, Jon. But she doesnât need me to take
care of her.
JON: She will.
10. JON: Well, of course Iâm up for it. Donât be ridiculous.
11. JON: Iâll dance with you anywhere, any time, for as long as you want. You know that,
Emmy.
JON: All you have to do is ask.
12. Jonathan âJonâ Littledragon, 76 years old. Jon was raised by people who thought image
was everything, and who perhaps should have considered the effect infidelity and a
murder-suicide would have on the family image. Heck, they probably should have
considered the effect those things would have on their kids. Jon eventually made a good
income off of his own image (literally), but lived his life according to what made him
happy. This included an unconventional-looking woman four years his senior, a late-in-
life child, and comfortable clothing.
Jon was a personal favorite, but he was never complete without Emmy, nor was she
complete without him. Now they are whole again. May they be happy together for all of
whatever comes next.
Letâs move on to something not quite so sad, okay? Before I embarrass myself by crying
in front of all my nice readers?
13. Whoa whoa whoa! I donât think you should be playing there, kiddo.
TRIXIE: Bo go swuh swuh swuh foosh!
14. ROBI: Come on, sugarlump. Letâs find something to play with thatâs not the toilet, okay?
TRIXIE: Bo go foosh! Aybe aybe bo!
ROBI: You donât say.
16. TRIXIE: Ohnay! Oo nah Mommy!
(Rosalie sighs)
In case you were wondering, Robi and Rosie are raising Trixie to be bilingual. Robi
speaks to Trixie in Simlish, and Rosie speaks to her in Alien. Trixie herself speaks a sort
of Simlien, but like most kids raised to be bilingual, sheâll have it sorted out by the time
sheâs six or so. Alien mostly equals Pig Latin, so you probably donât need a translation.
Letâs go check on the other alien in the family, shall we?
17. Hi, Cassie! â Ooops. (whispers) Sorry. Didnât mean to wake you.
CASSIE: No, no, âsokay. Iâm just a bit sleepy from the party last night.
You had a party last night?
CASSIE: Uh-huh. (yawns) It was a Good Time, too.
18. CASSIE (V.O.): I wanted a Roof Raiser, but Lucky got stuck in the corner during the
Smustle. Thereâs more room out here, but I guess after youâve had a few, Smustling in
the bedroom sounds good. (yawns) That didnât come out right⌠And I couldnât convince
my son to bring any of his college friends with him.
Tsk tsk tsk. Doesnât that boy know how to have fun?
CASSIE (V.O.): Oh, I think heâs having plenty of fun.
19. CASSIE (V.O.): Iâm just sure itâs the kind of fun you donât tell your mom about.
Ah. Say no more.
20. Have I mentioned that Eileen Tang is Romance?
No?
Eileen Tang is Romance. That seems to give her two bolts with Ricky Cormier here.
Normally, I would consider two bolts a keeper, but in this case, I think itâs one bolt for
each Romance Sim, which doesnât count.
Plus, I donât like Ricky Cormier. Sue me.
21. And Colin got his hula zombies.
Everyone else was pretty broken up about it, but do you see that big smile on Colinâs
face? He gets to see Lee again.
22. Colin (Littledragon) Long, er â Letâs say one year older than Andrew, four years older
than Jon, and leave it at that, shall we? Something went wrong somewhere along the line,
probably during the rebuild, and somehow Colin ended up in his 80s while his four-
years-younger brother was still in his 60s.
While in college, Colin had a stable of girlfriends and boyfriends. He wasnât exactly
exclusive after college either, but did eventually settle down with Lee Long. He also
became Mayor of Sim City, achieving Permaplat status, and he took in his nephew
following the latterâs graduation from college. Not that his nephew couldnât have moved
back in with his own parents or even found his own place, but itâs the thought that counts.
Goodbye, Colin.
23. Life at the Miller household was going swimmingly. I had a nice update planned for you
about the little things: Ryanâs A+, Amy getting her bronze badge in Robotics and
learning how to build CleanBots, Byron going PermaplatâŚ
Not that I was going to show you Byronâs work uniform, you understand. Itâs completely
out of character. But I would have included a deliberate shot of the plumbbob.
24. But as it turned out, Carylâs lifebar was glitchy and reflected the lifespan of whoever Iâd
looked at before, not how much time was actually left to her. So when I wasnât looking,
this happened.
RYAN: Dad? Come on in, please. You canât stay out here all night.
25. Guys arenât much for talking about their feelings, but everyone knows that food makes
everything better.
RYAN: Come on, Dad. Iâll make you some hot milk, like you used to make for me.
JEROME: He doesnât need hot milk. He needs a nice strong cup of coffee. Iâve got it.
BYRON (firmly): Fluffernutters. That was what Mom made when we were little. How
about a nice thick fluffernutter, Lucky?
LUCKY: I â Thank you.
26. Caryl (Cwik) Miller, aged coughmumbleahemyes. Caryl was raised to follow Strict
Family Values. Although this was somewhat frustrating for Lucky during the courtship
phase of their relationship â imagine not being allowed to hold hands until after youâre
engaged! â once it came to the having-babies phase, he couldnât have been happier. At
least two of Carylâs three sons did not inherit her Strict Family Values beliefs, but she
loved them anyway. Carylâs LTW was to Max Out Seven Skills, which she did not
achieve. Lucky misses her something awful.
Goodbye, Caryl.
And Stacey?
27. Stacey is doing as well as can be expected, I suppose. Sheâs with Toby now.
28. Stacey Miller, 77-ish, seen here in a picture taken in college. You didnât know that she
went to school with international supermodel Jon, did you? Well, now you do. Stacey
never achieved her LTW of becoming a Celebrity Chef, but she did maintain good
relations with her family â including her niece and nephews, which is a major
achievement for me. In a family full of chickens and deformed chickens, Stacey was a
hawk, and therefore the most attractive of them all.
Rest in peace, Stacey.
35. âŚbut itâs her sister who gets invited over after school.
Letâs see how their family is doing.
36. JASMINE: You what? How could you be so stupid? Didnât I tell you about the project
we had going on at work?
JASPER: Yeah, but that was off-planet â
JASMINE: Not the telescope futures â the displaced Nigerian royalty! Thatâs one of our
biggest draws! I know I told you about it. I distinctly remember feeling my lips move.
JASPER: Yeah, but this was displaced Zimbabwean royalty. Itâs completely different!
JASMINE: (screams, because killing people is illegal) Well, thanks to you, we are out of
money! We are going to have to sell everything we own and move somewhere else;
someplace we can afford.
JASPER: Uh⌠When you say âeverything,â you donât mean my sports car, right?
JASMINE: YES, I mean your sports car!
JASPER: But⌠Itâs my sports car. You gave it to me after the girls were born.
JASMINE: I gave it to you, and I can damn well take it away again. Thatâs the first thing
Iâm selling. (calls up the stairs) Oh girls! Daddy has something he wants to explain to
you!
37. JASPER: Well, this isnât so bad, right? Jasmine? Letâs go explore our barn.
JASMINE: We donât have a barn.
JASPER: But itâs right there. You got a pretty good deal on such a big place.
JASMINE: Our property ends just past the driveway, and about ten feet behind the house.
JASPER: Oh.
JASMINE: Did I mention that we donât have any lights? Or heat? And the water only
runs occasionally.
38. ANNE: Whatcha doing?
LUCY: Watching Mom and Dad meditate.
ANNE: Why?
LUCY: Why are they meditating, or why am I watching?
ANNE: Uh-huh.
LUCY: Well, theyâre meditating because weâve only got one bed, and you and I were
sleeping in it. And Iâm watching them because thereâs no TV. Not that we have any
electricity anyway.
ANNE: Oh. (joins Lucy) Is it any good?
LUCY: Actually, yeah. No commercials.
39. VALERIE: Ruth? Ruth, where are you?
MENâS CHORUS
Eh! What a nose!
And oh! What eyes miss!
RUTH: Iâm in the basement!
MENâS CHORUS
Lips loike a rose
And cheeks loikewise miss!
VALERIE: Youâre not watching that nonsense again, are you? Why donât you go out on
a date?
RUTH: Ma!
WOMENâS CHORUS
Oiâll tell you true
Which Oi never done sir
VALERIE: You need more romance in your life. If you canât find anyone you like in
your classes, Iâll pay for the matchmaker for you, as many times as you like.
40. RUTH: I have enough romance now, Ma! Thanks!
VALERIE: No, what you have is that nineteenth-century opera hooey. Nobody likes that
stuff any more. Come on, Iâll help you find a nice boy. Or a nice girl. One you can even â
even marry if youâre into that. Iâll still love you if youâre a Family Sim, really I willâŚ
RUTH: I canât heeeeaaaar you, Ma! (turns up the volume)
WOMENâS CHORUS
Oi loike you
As Oi never loiked none sir
(ââTis twelve, I think.â From The Sorcerer. Words by W.S. Gilbert, Music by Sir Arthur
Sullivan.)
Yes, I like that piece. Why do you ask? And speaking of interfering parentsâŚ
41. PERRY: Now that Harkonâs a Teen, it wonât be long before he starts dating.
AMETHYST (noncommittally): Mmm-hmm.
PERRY: And once he meets a nice girl, itâs only a matter of time until they get married.
AMETHYST: Perry, have you seen his room?
PERRY: Yes, heâs got up all kinds of posters.
AMETHYST: Of?
PERRY: Some boy bands, some athletes. So what? â Do you think I should offer to pay
for the matchmaker? Heâs not as shy as me, but it can be very hard to meet girls.
AMETHYST: Perry, I think you should talk to Harkon before you do anything. I think
thereâs something he might want to say.
42. PERRY: So⌠Your mother says thereâs something that you want to say to me?
HARKON: Uh, I donât think so.
PERRY: Oh. Okay. â So do you want me to call the matchmaker for you now that youâre
a teen? I know it can be hard to meet girls when youâre shy.
(Harkon chokes on his sandwich)
43. HARKON: Actually, Da⌠I, uh. I. (whispers) Iâm gay.
PERRY: Say again?
HARKON (half-shouts): Iâm gay!
PERRY: Oh.
(Long, thoughtful pause)
PERRY: Good.
HARKON (squeaks): Good?
PERRY: Yes, good. Now you wonât be slowed down by whether your wife wants a baby
or not. Iâll give you the phone number of the Most Logical Brotherhood of the Telescope
â theyâll help you get abducted, and if you meet a nice like-minded green-skinned boy,
theyâve got technology that can let you both be pregnant at the same time. Iâll get you the
number of the adoption agency, too, just in case. Those are both much more efficient
methods of getting me grandbabies. I want six, by the way.
44. Alas, Andrew will not see those grandbabies. Or in his case, great-grandbabies. The hula
zombies came that same night.
45. Andrew âAndyâ Littledragon, 80 years old. (I did mention that the ages got all mixed up
during the rebuild, right?) Andrew majored in physics, married a wonderful woman,
fathered natural twins (and a daughter), survived a nasty car accident, successfully fended
off the Social Worker, and reached Permaplat all before he hit Elder. He had a fondness
for pink bowling shirts and songs from The Threepenny Opera, and he was much saner
than either of his parents. He will be much missed.
Goodbye, Andy.
46. Hi, Kitty! How goes it?
KITTY: It goes, it goes.
What was the pink streak of lightning I saw just now?
KITTY: Oh, that was Nirel. That boy never walks anywhere if he can run, and he
probably wouldnât run if he could fly.
He had his birthday? Happy birthday to him! And to Tirtha, too, right?
KITTY: And to Tirtha too. Theyâre twins.
47. So howâs Tirtha?
KITTY: Eh, I donât really know what to make of her.
But sheâs your daughter.
KITTY: And your point is?
UmâŚ
48. KITTY: Never mind. Have you seen how nice the place looks now that weâve enclosed
the whole fist floor?
Very nice! Very nice indeed! And just think â all this on two items per day!
KITTY: (clears throat) Well, mostly.
Mostly?
KITTY: Itâs Simon. First he manages to sit down at the table in the conservatory â I still
donât know how â but he couldnât get up until we put down two more floor tiles.
Well, thatâs okay. Youâre allowed to fix glitches.
KITTY: And then he decided, all of a sudden, that he couldnât possibly pee unless we
were all outside. And heâs got a very small bladder. So we put up two more walls.
(snorts) Like we werenât the ones who wiped his butt when he was little.
49. Young men need their privacy â Whoa! When did you resurrect Galileo?
KITTY: We didnât. Thatâs Mircea.
Mircea? But he looks exactly like Galileo!
KITTY: No, Galileoâs nose was thinner.
Was it? (peers at Mircea doubtfully) Hey, this means youâre an Elder too, right?
50. KITTY: Who, me? Iâm as young as I ever was.
You donât look it.
KITTY: When was the last time you had your eyes checked? Go bother someone else,
why donât you?
Because Iâve already checked in with everyone else.
KITTY: Then wrap things up. Donât just sit there and insult me.
51. Well, I know how to take orders. Iâll leave you with this picture of Harkon Littledragon,
who is going to make some lucky man very very happy someday.
Now I just have to figure out which man is deserving of him. (And willing to put up with
lots and lots of babies.) That question wonât be resolved next time, but I hope youâll join
me anyway. Until then, Happy Simming!