Pictures of babies! Including a green one!

1. Oooh, a baby! I like babies. Do you like babies? Of course you do. Everyone likes babies.
And the best part about babies is that you can hand them back to their mommy or daddy
when they need a clean diaper.
And speaking of babies, there are one or two in Sandersville that I’m sure you’re not tired
of seeing yet. I know I’m not. Let’s start with Jon and Emmy and Sarah Jane as we rejoin
our story: Already in Progress…

2. EMMY: We are never hiring that woman again. In fact, I’m going to call the agency and
report her.
JON: The nanny? Why? What’s wrong?
EMMY: When I came home, I found Sarah Jane on the floor, hungry, cold, and with a
full diaper. And that “nanny” was in the parlor reading the paper.
JON (horrified and furious): She what?
EMMY: Look, your days on are my days off and vice versa. We’ll just take care of her
ourselves.
JON: I’ll get her bottle – you make that phone call.

3. Fortunately, despite the criminal neglect of the nanny, Sarah Jane grew up well.
I think she looks like her mother. What do you think?
She really is a very happy child, although she does tend to waste perfectly good Smart
Milk playing with her teddy or sitting in her parents’ room watching them sleep instead
of skilling. She’s always singing to herself, that little “la-la” thing that toddlers do
sometimes.

4. Which is not to say that she doesn’t learn things. In fact, Sarah Jane learned all three
toddler skills with a full day to spare. (I don’t have Free Time, so no nursery rhyme.)
JON: Come on, honey, come to Daddy!
SARAH JANE: Daddy!
JON: That’s it – that’s my girl! Who’s the smartest little girl in the whole world?
EMMY (with affectionate tolerance): Jon, you’re going to spoil her.
JON: Nah – she’ll be fine.

5. JON: So, it’s Mommy’s birthday today. What do you think she’d like?
SARAH JANE: Birthday!
JON: Yes, it’s her birthday. What shall we give her as a birthday present?
SARAH JANE: Birthday ‘resent! (sings happily) Birthday ‘resent, birthday ‘resent…
JON: Yes, a birthday present. We need to give Mommy a nice birthday present. What
does Mommy like?
SARAH JANE: Snuggles!

6. JON(softly): Happy birthday, Emmy.
EMMY (also softly): Why are we whispering? Is she asleep?
JON: Mmhm. Which means I can give you your birthday present now.
EMMY: What do you mean? You gave me the espresso maker, didn’t you?
JON: Yes – but I have it on good authority that what you like best are snuggles.
EMMY: Why, Mr. Littledragon! Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?

7. And speaking of new parents, Cassie – whoops! Did I come at a bad time?
CASSIE (through gritted teeth): No, of course not. I love entertaining visitors while
giving birth!
Really? Oh, all right, then.
I like your haircut. It’s more maternal.
CASSIE: Eeeeeeyauauauauaghhhh!
…I meant that as a compliment…

8. This is Bertram McClellan. Well, I had Alvin and Cassie – I was missing a B.
I think Bertram is proof that creating family relationships in CAS changes the genetics.
Because black hair is dominant over everything, right? So if Cassie was homozygous for
black hair, Bertram would have black hair. But those look like brown eyebrows.
Granddad Zeeshan has blond hair, so Cassie must be black/blond, just like she was
before the rebuild, right? Or do have this whole Sim-genetics thing all wrong? (Or are
those eyebrows actually black? Maybe I’m just hallucinating this whole thing.)

9. Bertram is a very cheerful little fella. I don’t know that I’ve heard him cry even once.
Although he does seem to think that throwing up on his parents when they play with him
is funny. Every single time.
What with keeping him happy and keeping Cassie and Alvin clean, that’s all there is for
this family. Let’s check in with Bertram’s auntie, shall we?

10. Rosie is doing quite well. She keeps climbing the career ladder. I forget what her job title
is now, but she takes this spiffy car to work and has to wear this dopey outfit. Seriously, a
yellow shirt and pink pants? I know she’s colorblind, but what’s EAxis’s excuse?

11. Robi is fitting in to the family pretty well. Snuggles likes him, and his fathers-in-law
(father-in-laws?) haven’t threatened him with a baseball bat recently. He’s also climbing
the medical career ladder, although he’s somewhat behind his wife.

12. As for his fathers-in-law (or whatever the grammatically correct term is), well, you can
probably guess what they’ve spent the last few days doing. And unfortunately, you can
probably also guess why I’ve not only let them, I’ve encouraged them.

13. GRIM REAPER: .f yo.’.. ..st st.. ..is w.., .r. San…s…
ZEESHAN: Is this drink non-alcoholic?
GRIM REAPER: U., .o.
ZEESHAN: Sweet!

14. GRIM REAPER: I b.. .ou tho…. I’. .or…ten ab… .ou, .r. Sa….rs.
MARCEL: I did wonder about that, yeah.
GRIM REAPER: .ne p….. .t a ti... ..ose ar. ..e ru…. .ut loo.: . ..ough. .ou a 7 .n. 7 .o .ak.
.p fo. .t.
MARCEL: Did you hold the 7?
GRIM REAPER: .es si., .r. San…s. I ab…….. di. .old ..e 7-U.. .nd th. .emo.. .nd ..e i...
MARCEL: Now that’s my kind of drink!

15. Zeeshan (something-I-have-forgotten) Sanders, 72 years old. A very laid-back kind of
guy – who else could spend his time being probed discussing biochemistry with the
Pollination Technician on duty? Zeeshan was probably the only Knowledge Sim I have
ever met who did not like talking about school. He only had two bolts with his husband at
the end (thanks to specific hair-color turn ons), but you’d never know it from the way he
acted. A cool guy, he will be much missed.
Marcel Sanders, 72 years old. A Family Sim who defeated all my attempts to find him the
perfect life partner – until I started setting him up with guys. Marcel loved both his
daughters equally, even the one who was not a blood relation, and fulfilled his LTW of
becoming Education Minister. Although his face exploded in college, he grew into it
again in his old age. I will miss him too. At least wherever he and Zee are going, they’ll
go together.

16. ROSALIE: Oh, Robi, what am I going to do? How am I going to go on without DadZee
or DadMar?
ROBI: It’s okay, baby. I’m here for you. I’m here.
ROSALIE: But DadMar isn’t there with the baseball bat anymore!
ROBI: I never needed the baseball bat to make me want to stay.
And this is totally spoiling the mood, but…Do I detect crush-hearts music?

17. Ah-huh. And to what do I owe this not-entirely-unexpected happening?
KITTY (frantically): Nothing. You’re imagining it. Um – these are not the droids you’re
looking for.

18. And you’re not Obi-Wan Kenobi. Honestly, what’s wrong with this? He’s a nice guy.
You’ve been friends since grade school. Why are you so against having a relationship?
KITTY: Well…Did you ever read anything by Andre Norton?
Near-obsessively, between the ages of thirteen and four years ago.
KITTY: Well – Wait, what happened four years ago?
She died, and I realized I’d read everything she’d written on her own at least twice. Go
on.

19. KITTY: Well, I can do things. I can talk to you. And I can see people who have moved
on.
Seeing ghosts scares you.
KITTY: Having anybody jump out at me scares me. And I know what’s going on with
people all over town. And I can make things.
Like a limo out of an eggplant.
KITTY: Exactly. But, you know, it’s like in Andre Norton – if the witches, uh…
Woohooed anybody?
KITTY: Yeah, that. If they did, they lost all their power. And I don’t want to lose what I
can do. Not for anybody.
Okay, how can I put this? There were things you couldn’t talk about in the sixties. Like,
um, woohoo without a Lifetime Relationship over 70.

20. KITTY: You can have woohoo with a Lifetime Relationship under 70?
You can’t. Not without special hacks. What about Jaelithe Tregarth? She had triplets
without losing any power.
KITTY (doubtfully): I don’t want to have triplets.
You can’t. Not without special hacks. Look, I don’t understand why you can still talk to
me. Why shouldn’t the power run along Christopher Stasheff lines rather than Andre
Norton ones?
KITTY: You want me to, uh…?
Up to you. Besides, when have you given a rat’s patoot about what I want…
(affectionately) Madame Useless. How’s your brother?
KITTY: Don’t get me started.

21. KITTY (V.O.): You let her what?
AREN (V.O): Move in. And I didn’t let her. I asked her. It was my idea, yo.
KITTY (V.O.): But! But! But! But you can’t do that! You can’t just move in with
someone!
AREN (V.O): So…How’s Mircea doing?
KITTY (V.O.): That is completely different and you know it! I’m talking about our
home!

22. KITTY (V.O.): You let her turn Dad and Pop’s home into a, a, a, Barbie dream house!
AREN (V.O): It’s not a Barbie dream house, yo. She likes pink is all.

23. KITTY (V.O.): Okay, fine, a, a, a bubble palace then! How can you let her do that?
AREN (V.O): Actually, the bubbles were my idea too.
KITTY (V.O.): Dad would never approve!
AREN (V.O): Kitty, Dad’s dead. He’s never coming back. And Valerie makes me happy.

24. KITTY (V.O.) (despairingly): I just don’t understand what you can see in her.
VALERIE: So – I’ve got a couple hours before I have to go to work. What say we put
them to…good use?
AREN: Yo!

25. Caryl’s pregnancy was not easy. This is the only picture I have of the last trimester, and
I’m sure you can tell why. Too tired to eat, too hungry to sleep, and too in need of a bath
to do anything else. Pizza was a real lifesaver.
Seriously – have you noticed that one slice of pizza can take a pregnant Sim’s hunger bar
from the red to the very low yellow? And I’ve never seen a pregnant Sim fall asleep in
their pizza: they always finish the slice before passing out.

26. But it was all worth it. This is Timothy Miller.
Lucky thought that having their children’s names start with the same letter was kind of
unimaginative. Caryl asked him to think of a proper boy’s name, not a nickname, that
had a Y in it, and don’t say “Myron,” because if he says “Myron,” she’s leaving him.
Lucky decided that “Timothy” was an excellent name.
If you haven’t figured it out, the Millers have a naming theme of “names that have a Y in
them.”

27. CARYL: Byron, what are you doing?
BYRON: Giving Timmy a bottle.
CARYL: But he’s got a green stink cloud around him! You don’t give babies bottles
when they’re in the middle of a stink cloud!
BYRON: You don’t?

28. CARYL: Of course you don’t! When a baby has a stink cloud like that, they need a new
diaper! Here, give Timmy to me.
BYRON (handing Timothy over): He’s all yours.
CARYL (to the baby): What was Uncle Byron thinking, giving you a bottle? You need a
new diaper, yes you do. Mommy will take care of that. (Caryl leaves the room)
LUCKY (after checking that Caryl is out of earshot): Smooth.
BYRON: I did enough late night diaper changes when I was rooming with Tyger. Why
do you think I wanted to adopt someone who was already potty trained?

29. LUCKY: So, Tyger, what do you think of Timmy?
TYRONE: I think you should return him.
LUCKY: Return him…?
TYRONE: To the store. I wanted a little sister. Take him back and get a girl instead.
LUCKY: It doesn’t work that way, Tyger…
Tyrone really doesn’t like his little brother. I’m used to Sims having low relationships
with new siblings, but Tyrone’s relationship with Timothy is actually at -2/23.

30. Amy, on the other hand, is thrilled about the new baby. Her relationship with Timmy is
23/23 without even trying. And despite the pictoral evidence, she does get along quite
well with both of her fathers.
AMY: What do you mean, I can’t have a little brother? Tyrone got one!
BYRON: Amy, the house is full enough as it is. And Dad and I only want one child of
our own. That means that you don’t have to share us –
AMY: Lalala, I can’t hear you!

31. I swear, Byron and Jerome are secretly Family Sims. Byron autonomously tucks his
daughter in and rolls up wants to play catch with her or talk to her. Jerome seems to
prefer babies – he never turns Amy down for anything and will dance with her or play
catch sometimes, but when I can’t find Timothy, odds are that Uncle Jer’s giving him a
bottle or a bath or a cuddle.
Family Sims in disguise, I tell you! And speaking of Family Sims…

32. YVETTE: Congratulations, Robin!
ROBIN: Huh? On what?
YVETTE: Or should I say: Congratulations…Daddy!
ROBIN: Da – You’re pregnant?
YVETTE (unable to contain a huge grin): Uh-huh!
ROBIN: Whoopie!
(Robin picks Yvette up and swings her around and around until they both get dizzy)

33. Yvette had probably the easiest pregnancy I’ve ever had in the three years I’ve been
playing. Usually pregnant Sims require intense micromanagement, but I was actually able
to balance my checkbook during this one. I think she threw up once, and none of her
needs even made it into the orange, let alone the red.

34. And this little guy was the result! Meet Gerard Sanders. (Pronounced like the French
actor.) I had a bit of a brain cramp when the naming box popped up: I thought, “Okay,
the mother is Yvette and the father is Francois, so I should go with a French name.”

35. Nope, the father is the dark-haired fellow on the left accepting delivery of the baby, and
his name is Robin. Francois is the older fellow on the right. You saw him in his work
uniform in the previous picture. Francois works as Larry the Llama just for something to
do now that he’s retired. Plus, he insists, “Ladies love Larry the Llama! Nudge nudge
wink wink.” Eh, to each her own, I guess…

36. Stacey and Toby are doing well. You can probably tell that from Stacey’s expression
here. If you haven’t figured it out yet, Stacey and Toby are more the sort of check-in-
occasionally type of family rather than the follow-them-obsessively type of family. So no
news is good news.

37. I would just like to point out that Colin grew up at the biggest party I’ve ever thrown
successfully. His whole family was there. Of course, I didn’t play in absolutely strict
rotation, so Colin’s younger brother is already an elder in this picture, and some people
are older than you’ll see them get in this installment. (clears throat) Pay no attention to
the man behind the curtain.
Starting at Lee, we have: Lee, Opal, Emmy, Chalcedony, Amy, Andrew, Jasmine (hiding
in the back, and yes, not strictly related), Jon, and Jasper.
I just occurred to me that boys get their hair pattern from their mother’s father, so
Andrew and Jon should be losing their hair gaining extra forehead too. Hmmm.
Lee became an elder the next day, but he didn’t want a party (odd, for a Popularity Sim),
so I didn’t throw him one.

38. And who is this, trying to break into the mayoral mansion?

39. Why, it’s the notorious cat burglar Jessica Ebadi! But never fear! The intrepid,
gentlemanly Officer Dorian Kakauer is here to save the day and take Ms. Ebadi to
justice!
(I very much like Dorian Kakauer as he appears in dicreasy’s Victorian Legacy. Does it
show?)

40. …Ooor he could be going to get his butt kicked. Obviously my game’s Officer Kakauer is
not as cool as dicreasy’s. Getting beaten by the burglar! Have they no minimum Body
skill point requirement to join the police force? Shocking! I shall write to the mayor!
Oh, wait, he already knows. Well, I’m sure he’ll follow up, then. Moving right along…

41. JASPER: Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. Cal and I are going to college now.
OPAL: What?
ANDREW: Wait a minute!
AMETHYST: No fair! How come I can’t go to college too?

42. ANDREW: Wait a minute! Where do you think you’re going, young man?
JASPER: College. I told you.
ANDREW: You can’t just leave like that, in the middle of the night!
JASPER: Um, I kinda have to, Dad. The taxi’s here and everything.
ANDREW: You could have at least told us you were going!
JASPER: I did. Just now.
ANDREW: Before the taxi got here, I meant! You’ll at least call when you get there?
JASPER: Yeah, sure, whatever. Bye!

43. And the very next day is a milestone for both Andrew and Opal. Which neither of them
seems to pay much attention to.
OPAL: The boys didn’t call today.
ANDREW: Well, no. You called them twice each.
OPAL: Yes, but they should still call. Would it kill them to pick up the phone?
ANDREW (indulgent sigh): It’s hard when the nest starts emptying out, isn’t it?
And speaking of college…

44. Jasmine has headed off to college too. Dad waved her out of sight, but Mama went inside
for a cup of coffee, claiming her feet were freezing. Jasmine didn’t seem to care too much
either way.

45. Shortly thereafter, it was birthday time. Andromeda finally got rid of the hairdo she’d
been sporting since her teen years. I quite like the new look, and getting older hasn’t
slowed her down any.

46. Mitch also got a new ‘do and keeps on cooking. He hasn’t reached Celebrity Chef status
yet, but I’m sure it won’t be long now.
The old folks did have an informal little get-together for their birthdays.

47. This attractive young lady was one of the guests. Who is she? Why, that’s Jasmine, of
course! And speaking of the college kids, well, there’s enough going on there to justify a
whole nother chapter. Coming soon to a website near you!
***********************
The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order:
If you’ll just come this way, Mr. Sanders.
Uh, no.
I bet you thought I’d forgotten about you, Mr. Sanders.
One person at a time. Those are the rules. But look: I brought you a 7 and 7 to make up
for it.
Did you hold the 7?
Yes sir, Mr. Sanders. I absolutely did hold the 7-Up. And the lemon. And the ice.
By the way, when I write the Reaper, I’m trying to convey the way his voice goes too
deep to hear clearly sometimes without resorting to Terry Pratchett ALL CAPS. Is it
working? Or is it just annoying?