1) Partners build something representing themselves and share the creations with each other. 2) Partners take turns providing aggressive feedback on each other's creations. The goal is for the listener to internalize the feedback and feel like it is a critique of themselves, triggering an identity reaction. 3) The listener practices techniques to look objectively at the feedback by examining their feelings, stories, the actual feedback, and limits of what doesn't apply to help defuse the identity trigger. The exercise can be repeated as needed.