Learning about communication styles.

1. COMMUNICATION KNOW
HOW
UNIT 1: SELF-AWARENESS

2. WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?
Communication is the process by which information is presented
by the sender and heard by the listener. Without the receiver or
listener the process is not complete.

3. SIGNS OF COMMUNICATION FAILURE
• Yelling, Arguing, Fighting
• Loss Of Employment
• Loss Of Family / Social Relationships
• Domestic Violence
By learning how to communicate more effectively it is possible to improve your
relationships and your quality of life.
The first step is to identify the parts of communication.

4. COMMUNICATION = VERBAL + NON-VERBAL
.
The verbal message is only 7% of the entire message! Non-verbal cues are
93% of your total message. This would be body language, tone of voice, vocal
quality, inflection and proximity to speaker. If you are entering into the
receivers personal space they will most likely believe you are acting in an
aggressive manner. This is why it is so important to be aware of your body
language and how it is effecting their overall message when trying to explain
or resolve a problem. What you say does not matter as much as how you are
saying it.

5. STYLES OF COMMUNICATION....
It is important that you are aware of the how you are delivering
your message. There are three general styles which are passive,
aggressive and assertive communication. Lets look at the
differences.

6. PASSIVE COMMUNICATION IS ....
Passive communication is a style of communication where the sender is
reluctant or unwilling to express opinions or feelings due to fear of rejection or
friction with the receiver. This sender shows respect for the receivers views but
demands absolutely no respect for the sender. The sender maintains
boundaries, however, this may allow the sender to impose on the senders
boundaries.

7. AGGRESSIVE COMMUNICATION IS ....
Aggressive communication is a style of communication where the sender is
forceful about the message. They often encroach on the receiver’s boundaries
and utilize angry and powerful words. They are willing to do whatever it takes
to ensure the conversation and their message is heard and accepted.
This is an example where the sender does not respect the response of the
receiver and is not willing to consider any information presented to persuade
them.

8. ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION IS ....
Assertive communication is a style of communication where the sender and the
receiver’s points of view are respected. The sender allows others to have their
own point of view and will consider information presented by the
receiver. During this style boundaries are respected and the sender can
express ideas without feeling the need to intimidate the receiver or worry
about what the receiver will think about the message.
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION can be very effective when resolving conflict and
problems.
•

9. THE BEHAVIOR ASSOCIATED WITH EACH
COMMUNICATION STYLE…
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Keep quiet. Don’t say
what you feel, need, or
want. Put yourself down
frequently. Apologize
when you express
yourself. Deny that you
disagree with others or
feel differently.
Express your feelings and
wants as though any
other view is
unreasonable or stupid.
Dismiss, ignore, or insult
the needs, wants, and
opinions of others.
Express your needs,
wants, and feelings
directly and honestly.
Don’t assume you are
correct or that everyone
will feel the same way.
Allow others to hold
other views without
dismissing or insulting
them.
(Paterson, 2000)

10. WHAT NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR LOOKS
LIKE FOR EACH COMMUNICATION STYLE…
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Make yourself small. Look
down, hunch your
shoulders, avoid eye
contact. Speak softly.
Make yourself large and
threatening. Eye contact is
fixed and penetrating.
Voice is loud, perhaps
shouting.
Body is relaxed,
movements are casual.
Eye contact is frequent,
but not glaring.
(Paterson, 2000)

11. THE GOAL OF EACH COMMUNICATION
STYLE…
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Avoid conflict. Please
others at any expense
to yourself. Give others
control over you.
Win at any expense to
others. Gain control
over them.
Both you and others
keep your self-respect.
Express yourself
without having to will
all the time. No one
controls anyone else.
(Paterson, 2000)

12. THE BELIEFS HELD WHEN USING A
COMMUNICATION STYLE…
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Other’s needs are more
important than yours.
They have rights, you
don’t. Their contributions
are valuable. Yours are
worthless.
Your needs are more
important and more
justified than theirs. You
have rights, they don’t.
Your contributions are
valuable. Theirs are silly,
wrong, or worthless.
Your needs and those of
others are equally
important. You have
equal rights to express
yourselves. You both
have something valuable
to contribute. You are
responsible for your
behavior.
(Paterson, 2000)

13. THE EMOTIONS EXPERIENCED WITH EACH
COMMUNICATION STYLE…
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSERTIVE
Fear of rejection.
Helplessness, frustration,
and anger. Resentment
toward others who “use”
you. Reduced self-
respect.
Angry or powerful at the
time, and victorious when
you win. Afterward:
remorse, guilt, or self-
hatred for hurting others.
You feel positive about
yourself and the way you
treat others. Self-esteem
rises.
(Paterson, 2000)

14. COMMUNICATION STYLE EXAMPLE
You are training a new employee on how to interact with customers. The new
employee has failed to greet the customer who walked through the door. To
make things worse she proceeded to take a call on her cellphone rather than
help the customer who was standing in front of her. Your position as trainer
and supervisor is dependent on your ability to provide excellent customer
service to all customers who enter the store. You realize that this employee’s
behavior could effect your upcoming evaluation.
How would you respond?

15. HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE IT??
As the trainer you could respond in a…
Passive manner: “it would be great it you could greet and assist customers as
soon as possible when they come into the store.”
Aggressive manner: “ what were you thinking? If you can’t wait on customers
then you should find another job.”
Assertive manner: “as a company we do not allow cellphones in the office as
they interfere with our ability to assist customers. When a customer comes
into the store they should immediately have your full attention and feel
welcome when you greet them.”