The role of the parent is to advocate for their child. This advocacy can come in many forms and can sometimes generate conflict between caregivers, teachers, and parents. In this session, we will discuss the important role of parents, how to respond appropriately to inappropriate parents, and how to develop effective partnerships where both parties are respected and actively working for the good of the child.

1. Effective Parent
Communication
Audrey Rowland, MS

2. Objectives:
Define the role of the parent and the
provider
Summarize the process for creating a
strong partnership
Generate appropriate responses to
difficult parent interactions

3. Discussion
What do we expect
from parents?
What do parents
expect from us?

4. Different Jobs
• Expert on child development​
• Advocate​
• Professional​
• Influence on the group​
• Resource
Teacher’s Role
• Expert on their child
• Advocate
• Personal Investment
• Influence on the child
• Resource
Parent’s Role

5. Common Parent
Concerns
My Child’s Needs vs. Group Needs
Education vs. Play
Child Illness
Aggression and Biting
Special Needs
Parent Schedule or Lateness

6. Discussion
What are common conflicts in
your classroom?

7. Challenge:
Over
Involvement
• Quick to swoop in and rescue
• Over-controlling interactions
• Assigning play
Need to
prevent conflict
• Valuing or rewarding pleasant feelings
• Stifling or disallowing unpleasant emotions
• Using limiting emotional language
Protecting
feelings
• Personalizing behaviors
• Using fear or intimidation (or size)
• Using judgement/shame
Maintaining
control

8. Challenge:
Under
Involvement
• Children feel unsafe
• Confused about what to do
Unclear
boundaries and
expectations
• Physical space isn’t well defined
• Too Cluttered
Confusing
environment
• Responding to tattling
• Dismissive of feelings
Inconsistent
responses

9. Guidance
without
Judgement
Tone, body language and
inflection, volume
Clear and Consistent
“I don’t want you to...”

10. Shifting Attitudes
Child Is: Child Needs:
A bully or mean Support in developing social skills, attention,
trust, consistency
Testing me by throwing a fit Support with big feelings and emotions, help
with language, grace, and compassion
Aggressive and dangerous More time to develop social skills, clear and
consistent boundaries, guidance without
judgement

11. Interactions
that Build
Trust
Build relationships
•Listen and share
•Connect
•Reflect Interests
Intentional
•Select your words
carefully
•Be authentic
Offer valid choices
•Only when a choice
actually exist
•More for younger
children
Redirection
•Away from conflict
•Consider the child’s
needs/interests
•Offer specific direction

12. Avoid Power
Struggles
Remain boring and calm
Never use your body
If your emotions are triggered –
walk away
Don’t demand what you can’t
control
Do not transfer authority
TARRY TIME

13. Words that work
Instead of… Try…
Good Job! Thank you
I like the way I noticed the way you
Walking feet I need you to walk
We walk in the library
I don’t want you to run
Share You are wanting a turn
Stop/Don’t/Wait First/Then

14. Rules of Engagement
• Is anyone asking for my help?
• Is someone going to be injured?
• Have I observed and decided to
intervene or am I reacting?
• What are the stakes?
• Am I close enough to respond
appropriately?
• Do they really need me?

15. Conflict Resolution
• Acknowledge feelings and gather information
• Restate the problem according to what the children have told you
• Ask the children for ideas and solutions
• Restate the choices and ask for a solution
• Summarize the plan and watch for follow through

16. Case Study
Jerome and Lyla are playing in the block area.
Each has spent a bit of time building elaborate
structures. They both want to expand into the
same space, an argument ensues. You wait for
awhile to see how the children resolve it on their
own. However it escalates into a shouting match.
What do you do?

17. Action Plan
Start Stop Keep