Motivating Your Child A Parent Workshop Presented by Anne Henry & Alicia Schwenk January 31, 2008
Myths of Motivation <ul><li>NOTHING motivates some kids. </li></ul><ul><li>One day my child is motivated, the next day she...
The 8 Forces of Motivation <ul><li>Developed by educator Richard Lavoie  (The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turnin...
Gregariousness: the need to belong <ul><li>Motivated by PEOPLE </li></ul><ul><li>Happy in a crowd </li></ul><ul><li>Puts e...
Autonomy: the need for independence <ul><li>Motivated by PROJECTS, PRESTIGE, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Likes independent...
Status: the need to be important <ul><li>Motivated by PRAISE, PRIZES, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Self-esteem is tied to o...
Inquisitiveness: the need to know <ul><li>Motivated by PROJECTS </li></ul><ul><li>Values information. </li></ul><ul><li>Un...
Aggression: the need to assert <ul><li>Motivated by POWER and PRESTIGE </li></ul><ul><li>Wants feelings/opinions to be rec...
Power: the need for control <ul><li>Motivated by PRIZES, PRESTIGE, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Likes responsibility and au...
Recognition: the need for acknowledgment <ul><li>Motivated by PRAISE and PRIZES </li></ul><ul><li>Craves recognition for a...
Affiliation: the need to associate  <ul><li>Motivated by PEOPLE, PRAISE, and PRIZES </li></ul><ul><li>Craves connection wi...
Parents Play an Important Role in Motivation <ul><li>Children are influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of parents </l...
Learning is a Lifelong Process <ul><li>School is the foundation </li></ul><ul><li>Share new things you learn each week </l...
Share Your Childhood School Experiences <ul><li>Subjects studied </li></ul><ul><li>Interesting lessons </li></ul><ul><li>T...
Establish an Educational Atmosphere <ul><li>Quietly read near student during homework </li></ul><ul><li>Education is not l...
Show Interest in Your Child’s Education <ul><li>Interest is essential component </li></ul><ul><li>Allow children to discus...
Show Interest in Your Child’s Work <ul><li>Find something positive about each paper </li></ul><ul><li>Use negative comment...
Help Children Set Achievable Goals <ul><li>Encourage students to focus on continued improvement </li></ul><ul><li>Help chi...
Homework is  Children’s Work <ul><li>Parents can provide a workspace </li></ul><ul><li>Be accessible </li></ul><ul><li>Dec...
Grades <ul><li>Grades generate many feelings within a family </li></ul><ul><li>Genuine verbal praise for work is very mean...
Show Respect for Children’s School <ul><li>Notice school events </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Respond when signature is required <...
Respect Your Child’s Teacher <ul><li>Make positive comments </li></ul><ul><li>Negative comments lead to breakdown of learn...
Allow Children to Develop a Sense of Responsibility <ul><li>Let children experience consequences of their own actions </li...
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  • Myth 1: Nothing Motivates some kids: Truth – all human behavior is motivated; some of us have “misdirected motivation” Myth 2: 1 day motivated, 1 day unmotivated: Truth – motivation is a relative constant; performance and progress may vary; may reflect an inconsistent learning style Myth 3: External rewards motivate kids: Truth – have temporary impact; will not improve motivation; intrinsic motivation must accompany; if not, it may decrease motivation over time Myth 4: Competition motivates: Truth – “The only person motivated by competition is the person who believes that he has a chance of winning. We do our best work when we compete against ourselves.” Myth 5: Punishment effectively motivates: Truth – it is only effective as long as the threat exists; think about seeing a police car on the road; kids associate punishment with punisher rather than behavior; positive relationships increase motivation
  • Richard Lavoie – former teacher and administrator; has worked in special education; show book to audience and advertise its availability in the Alvey Counseling Department Parent Library. Adults and children each have a unique profile based on these 8 forces. No person fits into one slot; some are dominant and some are weaker. Ask parents to rate themselves 1-10 (1 being “not like me at all” and 10 being “exactly like me”). This will give them a self-profile, and will help them to see that what motivates them is not necessarily what motivates their children.
  • May have many friends, enjoy relationships Doesn’t enjoy independent tasks Joiner and leader Positive possibilities – popularity and friendliness Negative possibilities – gangs, challenging authority Let your child know that he/she is valued in the family, and he/she has specific tasks to perform as a member.
  • Best when tackling tasks alone.
  • Eager to please Worried about disappointing/upsetting others Show enthusiasm when encouraging or assisting.
  • Curious about many topics Wants all kinds of information about others in his/her environment Asks a lot of questions; does a lot of informal research on topics of interest Wants to know HOW and WHY
  • Positive possibilities – leadership, assertiveness, debate, activism Negative possibilities – bullying, disruptions, contention Wants to influence others and wants opinions responded to Encourage child to appropriately express opinions; show that they are valued. Praise contributions. Help child to channel aggression into assertiveness.
  • Very strong or very weak self-esteem Encourage positive leadership skills instead of bossiness.
  • Highly self-critical; have to be careful when giving constructive criticism; teach them to accept it in the right way.
  • Identity is tied to belonging and connection with others or organizations/clubs/teams. Likes cooperative activities and teamwork
  • Motivation presentation 1

    1. 1. Motivating Your Child A Parent Workshop Presented by Anne Henry & Alicia Schwenk January 31, 2008
    2. 2. Myths of Motivation <ul><li>NOTHING motivates some kids. </li></ul><ul><li>One day my child is motivated, the next day she’s not. </li></ul><ul><li>External rewards are great motivators. </li></ul><ul><li>Competition is a great motivator. </li></ul><ul><li>Punishment is an effective motivator. </li></ul>
    3. 3. The 8 Forces of Motivation <ul><li>Developed by educator Richard Lavoie (The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turning On the Tuned-Out Child) </li></ul><ul><li>Everybody has a unique motivational profile. </li></ul><ul><li>Some of our motivational needs are stronger than others. </li></ul><ul><li>1-10 rating scale </li></ul>
    4. 4. Gregariousness: the need to belong <ul><li>Motivated by PEOPLE </li></ul><ul><li>Happy in a crowd </li></ul><ul><li>Puts effort in establishing/maintaining relationships </li></ul><ul><li>*Reinforce role in family. </li></ul><ul><li>*Encourage interaction and cooperative activities. </li></ul>
    5. 5. Autonomy: the need for independence <ul><li>Motivated by PROJECTS, PRESTIGE, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Likes independent projects </li></ul><ul><li>Decision-makers </li></ul><ul><li>*Give opportunities for responsibility. </li></ul><ul><li>*Works well on self-correcting activities. </li></ul>
    6. 6. Status: the need to be important <ul><li>Motivated by PRAISE, PRIZES, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Self-esteem is tied to others’ opinions </li></ul><ul><li>Extremely sensitive to criticism </li></ul><ul><li>*Avoid embarrassment. </li></ul><ul><li>*Celebrate child’s unique strengths/interests. </li></ul>
    7. 7. Inquisitiveness: the need to know <ul><li>Motivated by PROJECTS </li></ul><ul><li>Values information. </li></ul><ul><li>Uncomfortable if he/she feels information is kept secret. </li></ul><ul><li>*Show child how new tasks relate to old. </li></ul><ul><li>*Encourage child to continually reestablish goals. </li></ul>
    8. 8. Aggression: the need to assert <ul><li>Motivated by POWER and PRESTIGE </li></ul><ul><li>Wants feelings/opinions to be recognized </li></ul><ul><li>Eager to confront perceived injustice </li></ul><ul><li>*Ask child for ideas and sometimes use his/her suggestions. </li></ul><ul><li>*Avoid power struggles; allow choices. </li></ul>
    9. 9. Power: the need for control <ul><li>Motivated by PRIZES, PRESTIGE, and POWER </li></ul><ul><li>Likes responsibility and authority. </li></ul><ul><li>Concerned with control and influence. </li></ul><ul><li>*Provide leadership opportunities. </li></ul><ul><li>*Ask for input on rules and tasks. </li></ul>
    10. 10. Recognition: the need for acknowledgment <ul><li>Motivated by PRAISE and PRIZES </li></ul><ul><li>Craves recognition for accomplishments </li></ul><ul><li>This is true for many people. </li></ul><ul><li>*Give immediate feedback. </li></ul><ul><li>*Watch nagging or harsh criticism. </li></ul><ul><li>*Responds to awards and public praise. </li></ul>
    11. 11. Affiliation: the need to associate <ul><li>Motivated by PEOPLE, PRAISE, and PRIZES </li></ul><ul><li>Craves connection with others </li></ul><ul><li>Gains strength from membership in group or approval from authority </li></ul><ul><li>*Tell stories of your struggles, triumphs, etc. </li></ul><ul><li>*Let child know that you truly enjoy his/her company. </li></ul>
    12. 12. Parents Play an Important Role in Motivation <ul><li>Children are influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of parents </li></ul><ul><li>Find a balance when emphasizing learning </li></ul>
    13. 13. Learning is a Lifelong Process <ul><li>School is the foundation </li></ul><ul><li>Share new things you learn each week </li></ul><ul><li>Model lifelong learning </li></ul><ul><li>Discuss what you would like to learn </li></ul>
    14. 14. Share Your Childhood School Experiences <ul><li>Subjects studied </li></ul><ul><li>Interesting lessons </li></ul><ul><li>Teacher expectations </li></ul><ul><li>Classroom management </li></ul><ul><li>Ask yourself, “What is my message?” </li></ul><ul><li>Make a commitment to share positive experiences </li></ul>
    15. 15. Establish an Educational Atmosphere <ul><li>Quietly read near student during homework </li></ul><ul><li>Education is not limited to school </li></ul><ul><li>Discuss learning-related topics </li></ul><ul><li>Watch an educational show </li></ul><ul><li>Take a family field trip </li></ul>
    16. 16. Show Interest in Your Child’s Education <ul><li>Interest is essential component </li></ul><ul><li>Allow children to discuss the day’s events </li></ul><ul><li>Ask, “What was one fun activity you did today?” </li></ul><ul><li>Be available </li></ul>
    17. 17. Show Interest in Your Child’s Work <ul><li>Find something positive about each paper </li></ul><ul><li>Use negative comments sparingly </li></ul><ul><li>Remember mistakes are common in the learning process </li></ul><ul><li>Frame mistakes as a learning opportunity </li></ul>
    18. 18. Help Children Set Achievable Goals <ul><li>Encourage students to focus on continued improvement </li></ul><ul><li>Help children critique own work </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Analyze strengths </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Work on weaknesses </li></ul></ul></ul>
    19. 19. Homework is Children’s Work <ul><li>Parents can provide a workspace </li></ul><ul><li>Be accessible </li></ul><ul><li>Decide if help is necessary </li></ul><ul><li>Make a commitment to allow children to do what they are capable of doing </li></ul><ul><li>Children lose desire to learn, if they believe they are incapable </li></ul>
    20. 20. Grades <ul><li>Grades generate many feelings within a family </li></ul><ul><li>Genuine verbal praise for work is very meaningful </li></ul><ul><li>Beware of monetary rewards </li></ul>
    21. 21. Show Respect for Children’s School <ul><li>Notice school events </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Respond when signature is required </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Attend school functions & conferences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Children’s home away from home </li></ul></ul>
    22. 22. Respect Your Child’s Teacher <ul><li>Make positive comments </li></ul><ul><li>Negative comments lead to breakdown of learning process </li></ul><ul><li>Listen if child is dissatisfied </li></ul><ul><li>Do not agree or disagree </li></ul><ul><li>End on a positive remark </li></ul>
    23. 23. Allow Children to Develop a Sense of Responsibility <ul><li>Let children experience consequences of their own actions </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid, “Just this once won’t hurt.” </li></ul><ul><li>Ask yourself, “Will this help my child become a responsible adult?” </li></ul>

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