2. Learning Objectives
By the end of this program you will be able to:
• Define an Interpersonal Relationship and describe its key areas of focus.
• Describe theories of Interpersonal Relationships
• Describe the 2 principles that impact perception
• Describe and list the 2 Conflict Spirals
• Describe a Communication Climate and list ways to develop a desirable climate
• Describe categories of Defensive and Supportive behaviours that effect and enhance
relationships respectively.
• List ways to develop strong Interpersonal Relationships
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3. Activity: Group Discussion
Category: Group Discussion
Time: 20 Minutes
Instructions:
Study the case-let.
Discuss and arrive at a conclusion.
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4. Interpersonal Relationships and Their Importance
An Interpersonal Relationship refers to a strong association between two or more people
with similar tastes, aspirations and interests.
Relationships are important in all spheres of life. We create relationships for various reasons
such as:
• We are social beings, by nature.
• To feel that we belong.
• To achieve common interest.
• To resolve conflict.
• To overcome challenges obstructing attainment of our goals.
• To gain support in areas where we lack the required skills.
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5. Focus of Interpersonal Relationships
• Interpersonal Relationships are dynamic systems.
• They have a beginning, a lifespan and an end.
• They can be fleeting or enduring.
• Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of interdependence.
• Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the
relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.
• Appreciating how we impact others and how they impact us, helps improve our interpersonal
relationships.
Change
Change
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6. Theories of Interpersonal Relationships
Social Exchange Theory by George Casper Homans
• Give and Take forms the basis of almost all relationships
• Proportions vary as per relationship intensty.
• Feelings and emotions ought to be reciprocated for successful and long lasting relationship.
• A Good Relationship is a mutual fulfilling of needs.
Give Take
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7. Theories of Interpersonal Relationships
Uncertainty Reductions Theory by Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese
Entry Stage Personal Stage Exit Stage
• Two unknown individuals meeting for the first time go through various stages to reduce
the level of uncertainty between them.
• Good communication is key to the progress of the relationship.
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8. Principles of Perception
2 Principles Impacting our Perception are:
• Attributions:
- Explanations or reasons given to people's words or actions
- Can be Internal or External Attributions
• Interpretations
- Assigning meaning to sensory information to achieve consistency
- Stereotypes, first impressions and self fulfilling prophecies impact our perceptions
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9. Improving Interpersonal Relationships: The Communication Climate
What is a Communication Climate?
• The emotional feelings that are present when people interact with one another
• Communication climates are metaphors for the feelings we have when interacting with others
• Possible relational climates:
Stormy Sunny
Cold Warm
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10. How Do Communication Climates Develop?
• Climates begin as soon as two people begin to communicate
• The type of messages sent will determine if the climate will be good or bad
• Verbal and nonverbal messages contribute to the feel of the climate
• They develop according to communicators responses to one another
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11. Determining the Communication Climate
A Communication Climate is determined by:
• How communicators speak and act toward one another
• How much communicators feel that they are valued by the other person
• The way another person treats us is often an indicator for how they feel toward us
• We interpret other’s behaviors in order to determine how important we are to them
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12. Barriers to Interpersonal Relationships: Self Perpetuating Spirals
• There are positive and negative spirals
• A spiral takes place when communicators reciprocate and build upon the messages that are
sent to one another
• Each person’s message reinforces the other’s message
• Communicators build on one another’s messages
2 Types of Conflict Spirals:
• Escalatory conflict spirals- one attack leads to another attack,
and continues to build
• De-escalatory conflict spirals- when communicators decrease
amount of involvement with communication by continued withdraw
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13. Confirming Responses: Sunny and Warm Days Ahead!
• Verbal & Nonverbal messages that convey your value for the other person:
“you matter to me”
“you are special”
Types of Confirming Messages:
• Recognition- showing recognition of another person’s presence
• Acknowledgment- to recognize and validate another’s ideas and feelings
• Endorsement- recognizing another’s ideas and feelings and showing
agreement for them.
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14. The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviors
Defensive Supportive
Evaluation Vs. Description
Control Vs. Problem Orientation
Strategy Vs. Spontaneity
Neutrality Vs. Empathy
Superiority Vs. Equality
Certainty Vs.
Provisionalism
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15. Activity: The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviours
Category: Working In Teams
Time:
•Discussion Time: 5 Mins
•Sharing Time: 3 Mins each
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16. Building Interpersonal Relationships
• Show Your Appreciation
• Communicate your Interest
• Be Everyones Mr. Sunshine. Be Positive!
• Watch Your Body Language
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17. Activity: Valuing Others
Category: Individual & Team Activity
Time:
• DISC Inventory & Scoring: 8 Mins
• Discussion Time: 5 Mins
• Sharing Time: 5 Mins each
Instructions:
• Attempt the DISC Questionnaire.
• Join the Group that shares your dominanat behavioral style.
• Discuss your traits.
• Present the key characteristics of your style to the class.
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18. Appreciating Others
• Be genuine.
• Be immediate.
• Identify & state specific actions that were admirable.
• Connect the actions to the persons qualities.
• Recongnise what is going well rather than what isnt.
• Say Please & Thank You, Please as often as you can.
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19. Communicate Your Interest
• Focus the conversation on them rather than on you.
• Ask questions to discover motives, interests & common goals.
• Ask others for their opinions and suggestions.
• Allow others to speak rather than monopolizing the conversation
• Focus attention on understanding of the words rather than your response.
• Catalogue information that is being conveyed.
• Give feedback by commending speaker on some highlights of the message.
• Question to obtain more information. It shows you were listening.
• Maintain eye contact. It conveys interest.
People want you to listen to them more that they want you to agree with them.
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20. Be Everyone’s Mr. Sunshine. No One Likes a Complainer.
• The content of communication is important to Interpersonal Relationships.
• Negative people repel others.
• People prefer upbeat communicators.
• Shift your focus to the other persons problem and help out.
• Visualize: Schedule 5 minutes to envision your goal when
faced with a problem.
• Write down your goal. It needs to be that specific.
• Focus on solutions rather than problems.
• Maintain a cheerful attitude.
• Most people are drawn to a person who can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor.
• Smile. It is unspoken communication that impacts relationships.
No one wants to be around someone who is always morose and frowning.
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21. Watch Your Body Language
Good Body Language: Body Language to Avoid:
• Maintain Eye Contact. • Staring or shifting your gaze quickly
• When seated lean towards your • Looking over your speakers shoulder or
speaker to convey interest. looking away
• Nodding to convey interest. • Leaning back when seated
• Smiling • Hands in pocket or behind your back.
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22. Body Language: Facial Expressions & Their Messages
The Closed The Neutral
Face Face
The Open
Face
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23. Conflict Resolution
• Conflict occurs in situations in which there is opposition. Opposition occurs when a solution
cannot be found in a disagreement.
• Conflict is a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs,
well-being, interests or concerns.
• Conflict is healthy and a normal part of any human relationship.
• Conflict resolution involves identifying areas of agreement and areas of compromise so that a
solution to the disagreement is identified.
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24. Responses to Conflict
High
Assertiveness
Competing Collaborating
Compromising
Compromising
Avoiding Accommodating
Low
Low Co-operation High
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25. Resolving Conflict
Collaborating (Problem
Competing (Forcing) Solving)
High on assertiveness, Low on High on assertiveness, High Compromising (Sharing)
cooperation. Outcome - on cooperation. Outcome - Take the middle path.
I Win / U Loose I Win / U Win Give some take some.
(Either / or paradigm) (Infinite possibilities
paradigm)
Avoiding (Withdrawal) Accommodating
(Smoothing)
Low on assertiveness, Low on
cooperation. Low on assertiveness, High on
cooperation.
Outcome- Loose / Loose
Outcome- Loose / Loose
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26. Conflict Resolution
• Realize that some conflicts are inevitable at work.
• Handle conflicts sooner rather than later.
• Ask nicely
• Invite the other person to talk about the situation.
• Observe
• Apologize.
• Appreciate.
• Identify the consequences.
• Define an objective
• Request.
• Get mediation.
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27. Activity: Conflict Resolution
Category: Individual Activity
Time: 5 Mins
Instructions:
• Think of a recent conflict that you were a part of
• Answer the following questions:
- What could you appreciate about your opponents point of view?
- What could you appreciate about your point of view?
- What were the consequences for you and your opponent?
- How did you handle the conflict? What was your biggest challenge? What was your
proud victory?
-What did you learn from the conflict situation as a whole? How would you do things
differently?
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28. Over To You.
• What worked well?
• What is one concept that will stay with you post this session?
• Any suggestions?
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29. ®
Leading People. Leading Organizations.
Thank you
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Editor's Notes
A relationship is a connection between two or more individuals/groups. An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment.
A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a parent–child relationship, relationship between 2 co-workers on a project. Individuals can also have relationships with groups of people, such as the relation between a manager and his team. Finally, groups or even organisations may have relations with each other. Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of interdependence. People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart and form new relationships with others.
Social Exchange TheorySocial Exchange Theory was proposed by George Casper Homans in the year 1958.According to Social Exchange Theory “give and take” forms the basis of almost all relationships though their proportions might vary as per the intensity of the relationship.In a relationship, every individual has expectations from his/her partner. A relationship without expectations is meaningless. According to Social Exchange theory feelings and emotions ought to be reciprocated for a successful and long lasting relationship.Relationships can never be one sided. An individual invests his time and energy in relationships only when he gets something out of it.There are relationships where an individual receives less than he gives. This leads to situations where individual starts comparing his relationship with others.Comparisons sometimes can be really dangerous as it stops individuals from putting their best in relationships. Don’t always think that you would have a better relationship with someone else. Understand your partner and do as much as you can for him/her. Don’t always expect the other person to do things first. Take initiative on your own and value partner.http://myinterpersonalskill.com/
Uncertainty Reductions TheoryBoth Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese proposed Uncertainty Reductions Theory to explain the relationship between individuals who do not know each other much or are complete strangers.According to Uncertainty Reductions Theory, two unknown individuals meeting for the first time go through various stages to reduce the level of uncertainty between them and come closer to each other. Strangers must communicate well to know each other better and find out their compatibility level.Following are the stages individuals go through to reduce the level of uncertainty in relationships.Entry StageThe entry stage is characterized by two individuals trying to know each other better.Each one tries to find out the other person’s background, qualifications, interests, etc.Each one discloses his/her goals and apprehensions to permit the relationship to progress to the next level. Personal StageIn the second stage or the personal stage, individuals try to find out more about the other person. Individuals try to know more about the other person’s ethics, values, behaviour and nature on the whole. Individuals who are no longer strangers learn more about each other’s personality traits in the personal stage.The Exit StageThe Personal Stage decides the fate of the relationship. Individuals comfortable in each other’s company decide to enter into long term, flourishing commitments. Individuals failing to understand and adjust with each other decide to mutually end their relationship for a better one. The exit stage is characterized by individuals moving out of relationships in search of a more compatible partner, co-worker, stakeholder.
The adage "perception is reality" holds true in interpersonal relationships. To improve interpersonal relationships, you can work on your perceptions. Recognizing biases that may affect perception and correcting for those biases may lead to more accurate perceptions and healthier relationships. AttributionsAttributions are explanations or reasons we give for people's words or actions. We can either make internal or external attributions. Internal attributions attribute words and actions to a person's character or who they are, while external attributions acknowledge a person's outer circumstances and situation. For example, if you make internal attributions about a friend who was late to a lunch date, you might say they are lazy, disinterested or disorganized. If you make external attributions, you would say they ran into a traffic jam, had a family concern or got caught by a talkative neighbor. We most often make internal attributions for others but excuse ourselves with external attributions. The reality is that there are many internal and external causes for speech and behavior. These attributions affect our perceptions, so we should make them carefully.InterpretationsAnother principle of perception is interpretation. People perceive through three steps: selecting, organizing and interpreting information gathered from the senses. People remember and respond to information or stimuli that is important or stands out for some reason, which affects their perception. People structure those stimuli in different ways and then interpret -- or assign meaning -- to the information. Stereotypes, which we form based on our desire for consistency, first impressions and self-fulfilling prophecies all affect our interpretations of people
Conversely, some examples of Disconfirming Responses are: Messages that deny the values of another personMay take the form of disagreeing with or ignoring another person’s message
The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviours is a list of six pairs of contrasting messages that may either lead to confirming or disconfirming messages. Using confirming messages and avoiding disconfirming messages encourages positive relationships
Facilitator Instructions:Divide class into 6 teams. Assign one category of the Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviours to each team.For Example:Team 1: Evaluation Vs DescriptionTeam 2: Control Vs Problem Orientation and so on……Ask teams to brainstorm and come up with suggestions of actions that lead to each category of behavior. (5 Mins)Have each team present their findings to the class.
Linkage: Appreciate the uniqueness of others.Appreciate individual differencesAvoid condemning any one styleRespond. Don’t React. It will allow you to address the situation in a positive way rather than attack the person. Understand the "why" behind others actionsGive contructive suggestions for improvement
Making eye contact while talking with someone is an important interpersonal communication skill. This makes the person feel that you are interested and actively engaged in the conversation. Avoiding eye contact may give the impression of disinterest, intimidation or lack or self-confidence. However, according to a report by Portland Community College, it is also just as important to take little breaks from eye contact and be glancing down every once in a while. This prevents the eye contact from turning into an uncomfortable stare.
Be PositiveWhile it is good to learn how to communicate properly, the content of the communication is just as important for good interpersonal relationships. A person who has only negative things to say will ultimately repel others who may prefer to be with someone who has a more upbeat personality. For instance, smiling is a type of unspoken communication that can influence relationships. People are naturally attracted to people with sunny dispositions; as such, maintaining a cheerful attitude will draw others to you.
Facilitator to demonstrate the 3 types of faces and the messages they convey. Brief in Facilitator Guide.
Running away Being obliging to the other party Defeating the other party Winning a little/ losing a little Co-operating
You can't win a conflict at work. Winning a conflict means getting the outcome 'you' want regardless of what the 'other' person wants. Since the underlying issue has not been solved, it will simply reappear later. Much better than winning a conflict at work is resolving it. Unresolved conflicts make people unhappy at work and can result in antagonism, break-down in communications, inefficient teams, stress and low productivity. Here are the essential steps to constructively resolve conflicts at work.
