This document discusses self-directed learning and emotional intelligence development. It presents theories that emotional intelligence develops in stages that align with self-directed learning abilities. The earliest stage is impulsive, where emotions rule behavior. The next stage is ego-centric, where the self is central. Following is a rule-oriented stage, then a rule-conformist stage where abstract thinking and social awareness emerge. As emotional skills like self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management develop, characteristics of self-directed learning like being intrinsically motivated and able to self-evaluate also emerge. The document provides examples of how emotional skills develop at each stage and suggests helping children develop self-awareness by validating their learning styles

1. Self Direction and Emotional
Intelligence
Learning for
the love and
passion of it
to better
ourselves

2. HOW

3. Are you a self directed learner?
Intrinsically motivated and able to
identify what they love
Autonomous and considerate in problem
solving
Flexible when faced with a challenge
tempered with reason
Self accepts strengths, weaknesses and
needs
Plans and organises self and materials
Internally evaluates outcomes against
goals and accommodates predilections to
errors.
Open to new experiences or new ways of
looking at something
Skager 1984

6. Our Theory – SDL Developmental
Process
Big Cats – Ego Centric -
SDL Stage - Child Centred
 emotions and sensory experience
rule us
Otters and Penguins – Rule
Oriented
SDL Stage Crossover
personality emerges clearly,
emotions link into memories and
the past, focused on the “other”
 As our thoughts move into the
abstract for the first time, seeing
the group and understanding time
Dolphins – Rule Conformist
SDL Stage - Self Directed
Toddlers/pre school –
Impulsive
 As our instincts control us and we are just seeing that
“we” are this arm, leg, head…

7. Developmental Theory Emotional Intelligence Theory

8. 1990 Salovey and Mayer
•Self-awareness – this is “me”
and I – I have these feelings that just
happen (concrete – I hit, I cry, I yell) -
IMPULSIVE
•Self-management – I have
these feelings and I can stop them when I
need to (not cry, not hit) - EGOCENTRIC
•Social awareness – I am
not alone in these feelings, you cry too,
you yell too.. – RULE ORIENTED
•Relationship
management- I can see how to
talk to you so that you understand my
feelings and I can understand yours (as
concrete things!) - RULE CONFORMIST
Our Social and Emotional Model of Choice

9. Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and
how they affect your thoughts and behaviour, know your
strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
You made me angry
What you did made
me angry
I was angry when
you did it
Actually I am not
really angry, I am
embarrassed and
frightened that
everyone will laugh
at me.

10. Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive behaviours and feelings,
manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on
commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

11. Where they are heading - Developmental
Theory
I see you, I see me, I see them looking at me
I can talk about my emotions, reflect
on them and then consider how
someone else might feel in a similar
situation

12. Big Cats
• Limbic System Formation of memory, senses are in
control
EXPERIENCE of the CONCRETE world
Perspective – I see me
Feedback – Attack!!!
Space and Time – Here and now
Internalised Evaluation – all
happening outside
Honesty – did you see it? Malleable
Power – dominance
The Other – is me and mine
Learning Style – everything is me!!!!

13. BIG CATS
Opportunist – all about
me and how I see it
Self Directed
Characteristics
Emerging
Intrinsically motivated
Autonomous
Flexible
Self accepts
Plans
Internally evaluates
Open to new experiences
Emotional Skills
•Self-awareness
•Self-management
•Social awareness
•Relationship management

14. Social awareness – You can see and understand that others have emotions
emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel
comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or
organization.

15. Penguins and Otters – Rule
Oriented
Amygdala –
emotional
content of new
memories
Formation of memory, senses are in
control
EXPERIENCE of the CONCRETE
world, beginning to explore the
ABSTRACT
Perspective – I see you!
Feedback – Tell me so I can be you
Space and Time – Yesterday and today
Internalised Evaluation – all happening
outside unless I saw it
Honesty – did it impact on me? Malleable
Power – dominance and deals
The Other – you and me
Learning Style – beginning to know my
likes and dislikes as separate to now

16. Emotional Skills
Self-awareness
Self-management
Social awareness
Relationship management
Self Directed Characteristics
Emerging
Intrinsically motivated
Autonomous
Flexible
Self accepts
Plans
Internally evaluates
Open to new experiences
PENGUINS and
OTTERS
Rule Oriented
All about me and you

17. Where they are heading- Developmental
Theory
I am confident in my ability to guide
people in a direction to get things
completed
I can handle feedback and criticism, reason through
logically and retain information , handle the group
isolating me, feel confident in my decisions

18. Relationship management – You can see the group and how they interact,
know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly,
inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

19. Dolphins – Rule Conformist
Amygdala – emotional
content of new
memories, beginning
frontal lobe
Memory in play, emotions experienced
and thinking beyond the concrete
EXPLORING the ABSTRACT
Perspective – I see you seeing me
Feedback – Stop judging me!
Space and Time – Yesterday and the future
Internalised Evaluation – Can see my choices
Honesty – Trust and truth are tests
Power – dominance and deals with
hierarchies
The Other – The group
Learning Style – Fiercely myself but I want to
be like you???

20. Emotional Skills
Self-awareness
Self-management
Social awareness
Relationship
management
Self Directed
Characteristics
Emerging
Intrinsically motivated
Autonomous
Flexible
Self accepts
Plans
Internally evaluates
Open to new experiences
DOLPHINS
Rule Conformist
All about us

21. Where they are headed - Developmental
Theory
I understand the present, the past and the future
I can remember when things like this happened in the past and how I
dealt with them. I can plan for the future.

22. Where they are headed - Developmental Theory
I can abstract my experience to think about how
patterns work, structures function and power is
negotiated
I know how I fit in the group and I
can work out how the group works

23. So lets look at your Manifesto?
What do you model for your children in your own
life?
Do you just “say” and not “do”
What do you share about your interior world of
thinking and planning?
Or do you just do these things secretly, alone or
keep inside?
Are you addressing shadow (we can talk about this further)
issues that you don’t want to see in yourself but drive you
crazy in others?
Or do you just keep feeling angrier and angrier?

24. What can you do to help?
•Learn about your own ways of learning (let me learn,
VAK, Gardeners) so you can talk about that with them and
validate their similarities and differences, this is a self
awareness that needs help to develop
•Learn about how to communicate your feelings and learn
how to safely support them to communicate theirs
•Learn about yourself and model the lifelong journey of
discovery
•Fill out your Self Direction Manifesto