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Convergence 2018 Fake Change-Kruidenier Consulting
- 2. WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN How did I get here? 01 Fake change 02 The root of all evil 03 Something is happening in change 04 Better change 05 gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 5. DARYL & THE YEAR-9 STUDENTS o55 YEARS AGE DIFFERENCE oSAME QUESTIONS oIF NOT US, THEN WHO? oWHAT WILL MY FUTURE BE? gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 6. THIS IS ME (I AM A BIT BETTER NOW) gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 8. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-1 TALK BUT NO ACTION WHILE THE CHANGE FRAMEWORK GETS PLASTERED ON EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 9. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-2 FAILURE IS TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COST. THIS INCLUDES TRYING NEW THINGS, ESPECIALLY NEW THINGS. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 10. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-3 THE CHANGE PLAN IS STRICTLY ‘NEED TO KNOW’ AND VERY, VERY FEW NEED TO KNOW. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 11. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-4 CHANGE IS DONE BY MANAGERS AND DONE TO STAFF BUT ONLY IF IT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 12. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-5 YOUR POSITION DESCRIPTION GETS A PERFECT SCORE ON THE BULLSH*T BINGO SCORECARD. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 13. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-6 NO ONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO, BUT IT WILL TAKE A 12-MONTH FIXED TERM CONTRACT AT $800/DAY TO DO IT. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 14. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-7 THE CHANGE DOES NOT GET SCOPED EVER AND ALL YOUR ATTEMPTS TO DO SO GET SUBTLY BLOCKED. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 15. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-8 EXTREME FOCUS ON RESISTANCE AND HOW TO ELIMINATE IT. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 16. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-9 CHANGE CONVERSATIONS SOUND LIKE A PLAN OF ATTACK OR A CONVENTION OF QUANTUM PHYSICISTS gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 17. SPOTTING FAKE CHANGE-10 EXECS DECLARING THAT CHANGE LEADERSHIP IS THE WAY TO GO BUT SHOWING NONE AT ALL AT ANY TIME. gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 18. ALL THE FAKENESS IN ONE PLACE gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 19. THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL THAT WOULD BE US… gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 20. THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES “The money is too good to pass up” “We can only do good from the inside” “Principles don’t pay bills” “Everyone else is doing it” “There’s no better alternative” “Change is a young profession” gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 21. SCARE TACTICS 1-O-1 1.Find struggling organisation 2.Identify problem (real = optional) 3.Practice concerned look 4.Claim that only you can solve it 5.Confuse everyone with impressive models 6.Write updates focusing on risk and threats 7.Fail on <date goes here> 8.Blame someone who is not you 9.Return to square 1
- 22. TRULY SCARY THINGS Staff no longer caring or trying 1 Incoming Youngsters knowing 90% of what you know 2 Your client finding out they were self- reliant all along 3 The ‘let it burn!’ principle 4 gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 23. I WANT TO BELIEVE WE CAN BE BETTER THAN THIS gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 25. FAKE CHANGE REVULSION SYNDROME SYMPTOMS Gradual loss of patience with clueless wafflers. 1 Very terse conversations. 2 Inability to take most change job ads seriously. 3 Profound sense of worry at the state of organisational change. 4 Often considering a new career, coupled with feelings of defeat. 5 Avoiding managers because you can’t take any more 80’s change myths. 6 gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 26. SOMETHING IS HAPPENING IN CHANGE TRUE STORY gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 27. DID SOMEONE SAY REVOLUTION?! gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 28. THE LEADERLESS REBELLION Bad situation Angry group Uprising Out with the old In with the new No real plan New bad situation Typical Rebellion Process The alternative gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 29. BETTER CHANGE •BUILD CAPABILITY IN YOUR CLIENTS •SELF-DIRECTED TEAMS •COMPLEXITY IS REAL •WALK AWAY •REJECT THE DEFAULT •ARE YOU UP TO CODE? gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 30. BUILD CAPABILITY IN YOUR CLIENTS WORK YOURSELF OUT OF A JOB gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 31. SELF DIRECTED TEAMS THAT’S, LIKE, WITHOUT YOU OR ANY MANAGER! gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 32. COMPLEXITY IS REAL SIMPLE, NOT EASY gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 33. WALK AWAY AND KEEP WALKING gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 34. REJECT THE DEFAULT COMPLYING TO THE STATUS QUO IS A CHOICE gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 35. ARE YOU ‘UP TO CODE’? CODE OF PRACTICE gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
- 37. NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE US WE’RE ON OUR OWN, BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE gilbert@kruidenierconsulting.com.au
Editor's Notes
- Intro Still can’t quite believe I am here on stage, but looking back, I guess there was no other way It started with this woman, who
- Royal badass, queen of butt-kicking and duchess of discomfort She took the stage in March 2017 during First Conference here in Melbourne, which is all about Agile practices and many good speakers saying sensible things and making good points Well, let’s say that Hannah had other plans Within 10 minutes she had 300 people feeling extremely uncomfortable about their work ethics, views, practices and the general state of affairs in agile land. I loved it She was angry, upset and demanding that all present would lift there game or else… I sat there for 45 minutes taking mental notes on how to make a room full of people angry with themselves while leaving no doubt in their minds that she was only saying this for their own good, what a class act.
- At the end of 2017 I had an almost surreal experience when in the span of two weeks I had a 70 year old founding father of change and a group of 15 year old students ask me the exact same questions
- This 2 minute video about all my mistakes in change that I made with my friend Peter Phan of FlimpStudios will probably tell you all you need to know about me What the video doesn’t say is my funny accent is Dutch, I was born in Rotterdam, the unofficial capital of the Netherlands, I’ve lived in Australia since 2014 and loved every day of it
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- 10 easy ways to spot Fake Change Talk but no action while the change framework gets postered on all available surface. Failure is to be avoided at all cost. This includes trying new things, especially new things. The change plan is strictly ‘need to know’ and very, very few need to know. Change is done by managers and done to staff, but only if it’s not too much trouble. Your PD gives you a perfect score on the bullsh*t bingo scorecard. No one knows what to do, but it will take a 12-month fixed term contract at $800/day to do it. The change does not get scoped ever and all your attempts to do so get subtly blocked. Extreme focus on resistance and how to counter it. The way change is talked about sounds like either a military operation or a convention of quantum physicist discussing the EPR paradox. Declaring that change leadership is the way to go but showing none at any time.
- Perhaps not you, or you, but definitely me and maybe you And I am not saying everyone out there is actively looking to destroy the reputation of change management But our combined efforts are doing a pretty good job at muddying the waters, despite all the best practices
- And of course my personal favourite: “I can never own the change’, such a cop out… Customer doesn’t really want it Fair enough, but at the rates we get paid, you better damn well show some initiative
- Would you rather get paid to lie or be fired for speaking the truth? Okay, so what do we do about that
- Let’s be sure that we’re talking the same thing here; Revolution: long term social change Rebellion: short burst of often violent upheaval that makes a point, but rarely improves matters I am more a fan of rebellions
- There have been more than 800 rebellions in the past 5,000 years, most of them we don’t remember The ones we do remember, what do we REALLY know about them How successful were they really? (#metoo, Occupy, Spring revolution, #whatif, March for our lives The bleak truth is that they generally didn’t amount to much and mostly just put another person with slightly different ideas in place
- Every single one of these will make things better
- Sometimes a necessity, but at least be honest to yourself and others about why you are doing it
- Aside from a code of conduct from 2014 by ACMP, crickets