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  1. 1. Chapter 5 Conflict Resolution
  2. 3. Conflict Important <ul><li>Conflict is the internal or external tension that occurs when you anticipate difficulty meeting important needs. </li></ul><ul><li>Boss, spouse, child, etc. </li></ul>
  3. 4. Conflict Types <ul><li>Five leading causes of conflict in the workplace : </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Misunderstanding-miscommunication </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Disrespect or disregard for other people </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Conflicting egos </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Impatience </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Fear and insecurity over loss of control </li></ul></ul>
  4. 5. Conflict Types <ul><li>Pseudo conflicts (false conflicts) </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Not real conflicts; they are perceived. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Two causes: faulty assumptions and false dilemmas </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Faulty assumptions: mistaking assumptions for facts </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>False dilemmas: people only see two solutions to a problem </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Fact conflicts </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Parties disagree about information that could easily be verified </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Fact conflicts can turn into ego conflicts </li></ul></ul>
  5. 6. Conflict Types <ul><li>Ego conflicts </li></ul><ul><ul><li>A dispute centers on status or power </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Initial argument may be over a factual question </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Conflict centers on “who” has the “right” facts </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Value conflicts </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Focus on personal beliefs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Value rights, religion, etc. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Need conflicts </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Needs of one individual clash with the needs of another </li></ul></ul>
  6. 7. Conflict Management Styles <ul><li>Avoiders </li></ul><ul><ul><li>See conflict as hopeless and useless </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Are impersonal or distant </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Remove self mentally or physically </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Lack commitment to finding solutions (time, energy, confidence or skills) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be an Avoider : to buy time, to defuse strong emotions, if the conflict isn’t worth it </li></ul></ul>
  7. 8. Conflict Management Styles <ul><li>Accommodators </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Believe conflict is destructive </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Overvalue maintaining relationships </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Undervalue own needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Don’t make waves </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Want peace at any price </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be an Accommodator: when the issue isn’t that important to you or when conceding is easier </li></ul></ul>
  8. 9. Conflict Management Styles <ul><li>Forcers </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Believe winning is the only thing </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Love challenge and achievement </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Express anger when others don’t agree </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Are willing to sacrifice others who don’t agree </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Typically use emotional appeals, strong deliveries and persistence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be a Forcer : when decisions have to be made quickly, crisis </li></ul></ul>
  9. 10. Conflict Management Styles <ul><li>Compromisers </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Believe half is better than none </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Want each side to gain something </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Use voting or bargaining to decide </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Avoid the real issues </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Typically use maneuvering, negotiating and trading </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be a Compromiser : disagreement isn’t vital </li></ul></ul>
  10. 11. Conflict Management Styles <ul><li>Collaborators </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Believe both parties can meet their needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>See conflict as a natural way to meet needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Want to hear the needs of others </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>View the other as equal in conflict </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be a Collaborator : when there is time, if both parties are willing to work together </li></ul></ul>
  11. 12. Conflict Strategy Guidelines <ul><li>Recognize the “enemies” that can limit your ability to manage conflict effectively. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Your desire to explain your side first </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Failure to listen attentively </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Fear of losing control, what you value </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Misconception that one must win and the other must lose </li></ul></ul>
  12. 13. Conflict Strategy Guidelines <ul><li>Choose the right time. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Relaxed, free from distractions and prepared to spend time </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Take turns speaking and listening. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Listen open-mindedly rather than defensively </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Paraphrase one another </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Encourage active listening </li></ul></ul>
  13. 14. Conflict Strategy Guidelines <ul><li>Set the stage for finding a solution. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Work collaboratively </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Brainstorm </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Identify your needs and those of the other person. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Keeps you focused on the issue </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Identify the needs </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be empathic </li></ul></ul>
  14. 15. Four-Part Assertion Messages <ul><li>Plan what you want to say. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Four-Part Assertion Message </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Describe the behavior </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Identify your feelings </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>State the tangible consequences </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Make a request </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><li>Example: When you take personal calls on your cell phone while there are customers waiting in line ( behaviour ), I feel stressed ( feeling ), because I have to cover the service desk by myself ( consequence ). Would you please wait until your break to use your cell phone? ( request ). </li></ul>
  15. 16. Be Assertive <ul><li>Assertive </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Stating what you think, feel, want or need in a way that is direct, honest and respectful of others </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Builds trust, helps prevent conflicts, gets needs met </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Most conducive to a supportive style of communication </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Aggressive </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Stating thoughts, feelings, wants or needs directly and honestly but disrespectfully </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Can prevent conflict by fostering avoidance </li></ul></ul>
  16. 17. Be Assertive <ul><li>Non-Assertive </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Respecting others while stating your thoughts, feelings, wants or needs indirectly or not at all </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Avoid conflict, easy to please, cooperative team players </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Can’t get needs met, may feel resentful </li></ul></ul>
  17. 18. Conflict Strategy Guidelines <ul><li>Express appreciation. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Thank the other person </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>End the discussion on a positive note </li></ul></ul>
  18. 19. Responding to Criticism <ul><li>Three types of criticism: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Manipulative </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Vague </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Valid </li></ul></ul>
  19. 20. Responding to Criticism <ul><li>Fogging </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Use for manipulative criticism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Presents a non-defensive, indifferent response to criticism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Seeks to acknowledge the criticism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Does not agree or disagree </li></ul></ul>
  20. 21. Responding to Criticism <ul><li>Negative Assertion </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Strongly agrees with valid criticism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Admits mistakes </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Announces that the critic is right </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Adds what you have learned from the mistake </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Expresses a sad, regretful tone </li></ul></ul>
  21. 22. Responding to Criticism <ul><li>Negative Inquiry </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Clarifies the intent of vague criticism </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Shares a puzzled, confused tone </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Seeks further information </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Uses questions </li></ul></ul>