Ielts writing collection 2015

IELTS SHAREIELTS SHAREIELTS SHAREIELTS SHARE
TUYTUYTUYTUY N TN TN TN T P BÀI CHP BÀI CHP BÀI CHP BÀI CH AAAA
IELTS WRITINGIELTS WRITINGIELTS WRITINGIELTS WRITING
Hà N i, ngày 10 tháng 4, 2015

L I NÓI U
Nếu bạn đang tìm một tuyển tập những bài essay band siêu cao 8.0 – 8.5 – 9.0
thì đây không phải là cuốn sách mà bạn đang tìm.
Nếu bạn đang tìm một cuốn sách phân tích chi tiết các lỗi sai của các bài band
4.5 - 5.0 hay 5.5 thì đây là sự lựa chọn đúng đắn.
Cuốn “Tuyển tập bài chữa IELTS Writing” lấy nguồn từ các bài làm được các
cao thủ IELTS chấm và chữa chi tiết từ đề luyện tập IELTS hàng tuần của
IELTS SHARE trên website http://ask.ieltsshare.com – chữa IELTS WRITING
hoàn toàn miễn phí.
Cuốn sách chi làm 2 phần: Task 1 và Task 2, mỗi phần gồm tuyển tập các bài
chữa của 4 tuần đầu tiên trên IELTS SHARE. Mỗi bài đều có mục ghi chú để
giúp bạn đọc ghi chú những điều quan trọng học được từ lỗi sai của người viết
và thường cũng là những lỗi sai chung của các IELTSers band dưới 5.5. Đó có
thể xem là mục quan trọng nhất của cuốn sách, nếu bạn viết kín các ô NOTES
đó chứng tỏ bạn học được rất nhiều điều bổ ích và ngược lại.
Bram Stocker – tiểu thuyết gia người Ailen, tác giả của cuốn tiểu thuyết nổi
tiếng “Dracula” có một câu nói nổi tiếng về việc học tập từ sự đúc rút kinh
nghiệm:
“We learn from failure, not from success”
Vấp ngã là một trải nghiệm mang tính “hằn sâu”,nó giúp bạn thấm thía và nhớ
rất lâu. Tuy nhiên, chúng ta có thể tiết kiệm thời gian và công sức bằng cách
học từ sai lầm của những người xung quanh. Thành công mang tính định hướng,
nếu muốn đạt được điều gì đó, hãy hành động ngay từ bây giờ và hãy học từ
những sai lầm ☺

L I C M N
Để có thể xuất bản tuyển tập này, tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn chân thành đến các thầy
cô giáo, những cao thủ IELTS đã không quản ngại để giúp đỡ nhiệt tình và hoàn
toàn miễn phí cho các IELTSers từ khắp nơi trên Việt Nam. Thay mặt cộng
đồng IELTS SHARE tôi xin gửi lời cảm ơn đến:
Thầy Hồ Quang Trung – Đồng Admin Ask.ieltsshare.com, Admin
Page Luyện thi Toeic + IELTS + Đại học
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gi%C3%A1o-L%C3%A0ng-
Luy%E1%BB%87n-Writing/737417579670567?fref=ts
Cô Lê Thu Phương – 8.0 IELTS, Academic Manager, Co-Founder dự
án Luyện thi IELTS chất lượng cao – FED
http://fed.edu.vn
Chị Trịnh Thu Hằng
Anh Hồ Xuân Hưng – Admin fanpage IELTS không khó như bạn
nghĩ
https://www.facebook.com/ChinhphucIELTScungMr.Hung
IELTS SHARE Founder
FED Founder,
D ng Tr nh

1
FEDFEDFEDFED - Boost Your IELTS Score
http://fed.edu.vn
TASK 1TASK 1TASK 1TASK 1

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WEEKWEEKWEEKWEEK 1111
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
You should write at least 150 words.
Bài 1:
The graph shows difference between two music websites called Music Choice and Pop Parade
when it comes to the number of visits in a 15 day period. Overall, two new music sites both saw
an upward trend over the period.
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two, remained stable at around 120,000
visits in the first three days, followed by a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth
day. In the rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of people who
clicked on this music site, which surged to nearly 150,000 after only two days and then dropped
by a half before reaching its peak at 170,000 on the last day.
In contrast, the total number of visits to Music Choice was much less than to Pop Parade.
Starting from just one third of the latter, visits to the former increased 20,000 more to 60,000
on the third day, after that the figure fell to only 20,000 which was also the lowest point
throughout the period. On the subsequent days, the number was slightly erratic, making Music

http://fed.edu.vn
Choice welcome around 20,000 visits per day until the day eleven. A significant rise to 12,000
listeners happened on the twelfth day, before falling back to just over 70,000 on the last day of
the period.
The graph shows differences in the numbers of visitors
Music Choice and Pop Parade
regard with/… tốt nhất nên dùng
Overall, two new music sites both
thiếu the) saw an upward trend over the period
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two
không ăn điểm đâu), remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days,
by (thế này mới đúng chuẩn)
rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of
this music (bỏ) site, (ở đây câu c
nearly 150,000 after only two days
dropped by a half (nên mở ngoặc hoặc
peak at 170,000 on the last day
In contrast (cá nhân mình hay khuyên h
contrary vì hai thằng in
contrast có cách dùng khác nhau)
number of visits (sẽ hợp lý h
dùng hits/ users access) to Music Choice was
much less (dùng đúng không?)
Parade. Starting from just one third of the
latter, visits to the former increased
20,000 more (ý bạn là sao khi dùng more
sao lại dùng như vậy?) to 60,000 on the third
day, after that (ở trên kia không có Chủ Ngữ
thì bạn phải đẩy một Chủ Ngữ lên
chứ không phải đưa after that
figure fell to only (merely) 20,000 which was
also the lowest point throughout the period. On
the subsequent days, the number was slightly
erratic,making Music Choice welcome
s in the numbers of visitors between two music websites called
Music Choice and Pop Parade when it comes to the number of visits (when it comes to/ in
ốt nhất nên dùng cho các câu trong 2-3 đoạn Body)
both (chính ra phải đảo là both 2 thì đỡ phải l
saw an upward trend over the period shown/ provided.
Pop Parade, which was the more common site of the two (mình nghĩ kiểu M
, remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days,
ẩn) a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth day. In the
rest of the period, there were considerable fluctuations in the number of people who clicked on
câu của bạn đã đủ dài, nên tách thành câu mới)
nearly 150,000 after only two days (chưa rõ là 2 days nào trong the rest days
ở ngoặc hoặc đặt giữa hai dấu phẩy, a half = ?)
on the last day (nên sửa chỗ này vì cuối đoạn kia có last day
mình hay khuyên học sinh dùng mấy cụm contrastingly/ on the
in contrast/ by
dùng khác nhau), the total
ẽ hợp lý hơn nếu
to Music Choice was
(dùng đúng không?) than to Pop
Parade. Starting from just one third of the
latter, visits to the former increased
o khi dùng more, tại
to 60,000 on the third
ở trên kia không có Chủ Ngữ
ẩy một Chủ Ngữ lên đây ngay
after that vào) the
20,000 which was
oint throughout the period. On
the subsequent days, the number was slightly
making Music Choice welcome (cụm
3
between two music websites called
when it comes to/ in
in a 15-day period.
ỡ phải lăn tăn the 2) (bạn
ĩ kiểu MĐQH thế này
, remained stable at around 120,000 visits in the first three days, followed
a dramatic fall to just under 40,000 visits on the ninth day. In the
people who clicked on
ới) which surged to
the rest days) and then
) before reaching its
last day).
contrastingly/ on the

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này không nên dùng, hạn chế mấy cụm lạ lạ thế này) around 20,000 visits per day until the
day (Day) eleven. A significant rise to 12,000 listeners happened (dùng từ khác với nghĩa xuất
hiện) on the twelfth day, before falling back to just over 70,000 on the last day of the period.
Important Notes:
Trình độ viết tốt nhưng hay có xu hướng viết những câu phức tạp. Theo mình, các
câu phức quá có thể khiến bạn bị trừ điểm vì Liên Từ hay Giới Từ bạn chèn vào
giữa các câu đơn đôi khi không hợp lý.
Thứ nữa, có một số (hình như là 2) cụm bạn miêu tả không đúng theo văn phong
Task 1.
Hồ Quang Trung

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Bài 2:
A glance at the line graph provi
named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15 days period.
Overall, the number of visits to both sites fluctuated over the period shown. However, Pop
Parade has more pageviews than Music Choice, e
In the first three days, there are around 120,000 visits to the Pop Parade. Afterwards, the
number of visits bottoms out at over 30,000 on the seventh day. Then it sees a dramatic
fluctuation and peaks at approximately 170,000 on
Only 40,000 listener accesses to the Music Choice on the first day, it is significantly lower than
the figure for Pop Parade at the same time. In the next ten days, the interest of people in the
Music Choice still do not really rise. How
number of pageviews of the site. It peaks at over 120,000 on the fourteenth day, then drop
suddenly to nearly 75,000 the last day.
A glance at the line graph provided reveals
figure (trend hay variations thì h
đề bài là compares) for accesses to 2
fresh (bạn để new ổn, không
cả) music websites (nhiều ng
là Internet sites hoặc on the Internet
Music Choice and Pop Parade
chỗ này là namely) over a 15 days
khá nặng, over a 15-day period
Overall, the number of visits to both sites
fluctuated over the period shown. However,
Pop Parade has more pageviews than Music
Choice, except for the twelfth day.
In the first three days, there are
120,000 visits to the (bỏ)
Afterwards, the number of visits
ý nghĩa và cách dùng) at over 30,000
fluctuation and peaks at approximately 170,000
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the figure for accesses to 2 fresh music websites
named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15 days period.
Parade has more pageviews than Music Choice, except for the twelfth day.
fluctuation and peaks at approximately 170,000 on the fifteeth day.
Music Choice still do not really rise. However, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the
suddenly to nearly 75,000 the last day.
A glance at the line graph provided reveals the
thì hợp lý hơn vì
for accesses to 2
ổn, không có vấn đề gì
ều người dùng
on the Internet) named
Music Choice and Pop Parade (không cần và
15 days period (lỗi
day period).
Overall, the number of visits to both sites
fluctuated over the period shown. However,
Pop Parade has more pageviews than Music
Choice, except for the twelfth day.
In the first three days, there are around
ỏ) Pop Parade.
Afterwards, the number of visits bottoms out (cụm này lạ nhỉ, mình không ch
at over 30,000 (đơn vị) on the seventh day. Then it sees a dramatic
ximately 170,000 (đơn vị) on the fifteeth day.
5
ded reveals the figure for accesses to 2 fresh music websites
ever, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the
, mình không chắc chắn lắm về
on the seventh day. Then it sees a dramatic
on the fifteeth day.

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Only 40,000 listeners accesses (mình nghĩ từ này không ổn lắm) to the (bỏ) Music Choice on
the first day, it is significantly lower than the figure for Pop Parade at the same time (muốn nối
câu thì dùng which is… compared to…, tức là cái việc (của vế trước) 40,000 người xem
thấp hơn so với mức của Pop Parade). In the next ten days, the interest of people in the Music
Choice still do not really rise (câu này không phải văn Task 1) (có thể nói the figure rose
gradually hay gì đó). However, from the eleventh day, there is a rapid climb in the number
of pageviews (trùng) of the site. It peaks (trùng) at over 120,000 (đơn vị) on the fourteenth
day, then drops (chú ý chia) suddenly to nearly 75,000 (đơn vị) on the last day.
Important Notes:
Câu Overall tốt.
Bài này miêu tả độc lập 2 đoạn 2 web là đúng. Tuy nhiên, đoạn ý chính 2 hơi bị dài
hơn đoạn ý chính 1.
Hồ Quang Trung

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Bài 3:
The line graph illustrates the rates of visits to two new online music websi
Pop Parada) in 15 days. Overall, the number of access to the both sites increased and Pop
Parada was more popular than Music Choice.
On the first day, the number of visits to Pop Parada accounted for under 120 thousand and
remained until the third day. However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
to this website decreased to around 40 thousand on the ninth day. Between the ninth day and
the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 tho
experiencing a dip then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day.
The amount of visits to Music Choice, meanwhile, decreased slightly from 40 thousand to
around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witn
growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day. From the day twelve to fifteen, the figure for
this site declined to approximately 70 thousand.
The line graph illustrates the
of) of visits to two new online music websites
Parada) (dùng namely hoặc đ
Overall, the number of access to
1 cái nó fluctuated rất mạnh)
was more popular (có lẽ là hơi c
Music Choice.
On the first day, the number of visits
(dùng mỗi visits thôi là đủ rồi, lại không
bị lặp) to Pop Parada accounted for under 12
thousand (120,000) (bạn cần viết hẳn chữ số
ra luôn nhé, tránh được lỗi sai nh
này) and remained
stayable (còn mấy cách diễn
the third day. However, from the third day to
the ninth day, the amount of visits to this
website decreased to around 40 thousand
the ninth day (chọn 1 trong 2 cụm thời gian)
Between the ninth day and the fifteenth day
(dùng between mình lại nghĩ có
The line graph illustrates the rates of visits to two new online music websites (Music Choice and
Parada was more popular than Music Choice.
til the third day. However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 tho
around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witn
this site declined to approximately 70 thousand.
The line graph illustrates the rates (nên dùng number/ amount/ quantity
of visits to two new online music websites (Music Choice and Pop
để giữa hai dấu phẩy) in 15 days (a 15-day period
Overall, the number of access to the (bỏ) both sites increased (chưa rõ ràng nhé,
ất mạnh) and Pop Parada
ơi cảm tính) than
the number of visits (trùng)
ủ rồi, lại không lo
to Pop Parada accounted for under 120
ạn cần viết hẳn chữ số
ợc lỗi sai như thế
and remained unchanged/
ấy cách diễn đạt nữa) until
from the third day to
, the amount of visits to this
decreased to around 40 thousand on
ọn 1 trong 2 cụm thời gian).
and the fifteenth days
ại nghĩ có2 figures hóa ra chỉ có 1, thế thì dùng a period from X to
7
tes (Music Choice and
til the third day. However, from the third day to the ninth day, the amount of visits
the fifteenth day, the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thousand,
around 20 thousand between the first day and the eleventh day before witnessing a sharp
number/ amount/ quantity hoặc figure for/
(Music Choice and Pop
day period mới đúng).
õ ràng nhé, chỉ thấy là có
a period from X to

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Y đi), the figure for Pop Parada rocketed to approximately 150 thousand, experiencing a dip
then reaching a peak of more than 170 thousand on the fifteenth day (chỗ này quá dài và phức
tạp để gom thành 1 vế như thế này).
(rất cần Liên Từ) The amount of visits (2 đoạn 2 cụm từ y chang nhau, cần lưu ý diễn
đạt) to Music Choice, (có meanwhile thì chắc không phải là phẩy như thế
này) meanwhile (dùng and then), decreased slightly from 40 thousand to around 20 thousand
between the first day and the eleventh day (chỗ này tách) before witnessing (bạn định nói là a
number witnesses hay là 1 website witnesses) (nhầm Chủ Ngữ là xong cả câu luôn) a sharp
growth of about 100 thousand on the twelfth day. From the day twelve to fifteen (số thứ tự mà
linh tinh quá!), the figure for this site declined to approximately 70 thousand.
Important Notes:
Câu Overall nên là fluctuation (1st half) và increases (2nd half).
Số liệu tạm được nhưng cụm amount/ number of visits dùng đi dùng lại chán quá!
Có thể thay, visitors, access, figure, number, Pop Parada/ Music Choice, visits to,
number of hits,…
Hồ Quang Trung

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BÀI 4
The chart describes the information concerning how many people visiting to two new music
sites named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15
is more attractive to listeners than the other, but in general, both of them see a fluctuate trend in
the number of visits.
In the first day, Pop Parade starts perfectly with 120.000 users, which is 3 times as high as the
figure Music Choice own the same day. This number
But from the fourth day to the eleventh day, the elesticity can be seen clearly when only under
40.000 users acessing this site which is the lowest point in day 7, then increases dramatically to
over 140.000 visits on the eleventh day. After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day,
the figure starts growing up again and reaches the highest peak on the fifth day with more than
170.000 visitors.
The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctu
day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent. Starting with 40.000 visits
on the first day and growing up with 60.000 visits on the third day, then the figure remains
stable between 20.000 to 40.00
fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the number of users when around 120.000 people
clicking this website. After climbing to the
highest point, the figure drops as fast as its
growth – only under 80.000 people staying
with Music Choice in the final day.
The chart (line graph) describes
the (dùng information thì hay
với provide) information concerning
many people visiting to (the number of visits
of) two new music sites named Music Choice
and Pop Parade over a 15-day period. As the
chart shows, Pop Parade is (seems to be
attractive to listeners than the other
như Task
2), but (dùng however, nevertheless
general, both of them see a fluctuate trend
sites named Music Choice and Pop Parade over a 15-day period. As the chart shows, Pop Parade
ve to listeners than the other, but in general, both of them see a fluctuate trend in
figure Music Choice own the same day. This number is do not changes much after 2 days later.
s on the eleventh day. After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day,
The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctuate as Pop Parade’s, but except for
stable between 20.000 to 40.000 until the day eleventh. The period from the twelveth day to the
clicking this website. After climbing to the
highest point, the figure drops as fast as its
ly under 80.000 people staying
with Music Choice in the final day.
describes
thì hay đi kèm
information concerning how
the number of visits
two new music sites named Music Choice
day period. As the
seems to be) more
s than the otherone (nghe
nevertheless) in
see a fluctuate trend (see
9
day period. As the chart shows, Pop Parade
ve to listeners than the other, but in general, both of them see a fluctuate trend in
is do not changes much after 2 days later.
s on the eleventh day. After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day,
ate as Pop Parade’s, but except for
0 until the day eleventh. The period from the twelveth day to the

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fluctuations đủ rồi) in the number of visits.
In the first day, Pop Parade starts (bao giờ cũng là Starting from X, A does) perfectly (mình
không nghĩ mấy Trạng Từ như thế này dùng được, thấy hơi cảm tính) with 120.000 users,
which is 3 times as high as (không khoái mấy kiểu miêu tả thế này lắm, có thể dùng tương
đương 3 times higher than) the figure Music Choice own the same day (that of Music Choice).
This number is do not changes much (What the hell is going on here?) after (không bao giờ
viết thế này, phải là in the 2 next days) 2 days later. But (chỉ nên dùng đầu đoạn còn
lại) from the fourth day to the eleventh day, the elesticity (nghĩa gì nhỉ?) can be seen clearly
when only under (1 trong 2) 40.000 users accessing this site which is the lowest point in day
7 (thông tin phụ đưa sau các cặp dấu phẩy), then (thiếu Chủ Ngữ) increases dramatically to
over 140.000 visits on the eleventh day. After falling down significantly on the thirteenth day,
the figure starts growing up again and reaches the highest peak (dùng tùm lum quá!) on the
fifth day, with more than 170.000 visitors.
The number of listeners choosing Music Choice is not as fluctuate as Pop Parade’s, but except for
day 12 and 13, the pageview of this site is lower than its opponent. (câu này con lai giữa Task
1 và Task 2) (the number of gì đó + V + O + Time, except for…, while…) Starting with 40.000
visits on the first day and growing up (chỉ nên dùng 1 Động Từ thôi) with 60.000 visits on the
third day, then the figure remains stable between 20.000 to 40.000 from that day until the day
eleventh. The period from the twelveth day to the fourth day witnesses a marked growth in the
number of users when (thay bằng of) around 120.000 people clicking (dùng luôn Danh Từ +
on) this website. After climbing to the highest point (ý là reach a peak à), the figure drops as
fast as its growth (kiểu miêu tả khá hồn nhiên) – only under 80.000 people (dùng từ chán
ghê, bên trên toàn visit mà không nhớ ra visitors) staying with Music Choice in the final day.
Important Notes:
Chỗ fluctuation mà thấy bí thì dùng changes in the figure of… Vì thường mình
thích fluctuate widely còn fluctuations mình ít dùng (trends/ changes nghe ổn hơn).
Bài bạn chắc tham khảo nhiều nguồn chứ chưa học bài bản. Bạn nên đi luyện 1 khóa ở
ngoài trung tâm. Mình chữa 1 bài của bạn mất thời gian gấp 2-3 lần các bạn bên trên.
Hồ Quang Trung

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Bài 5:
The line graph above provides information about the quantity of visits to two kind of music sites
on the web over the period. Overall, the
number of visits to Pop Parade was mostly higher than that of Music Choice during two weeks
period.
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to
below 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and
60,000s levels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day. Over the next four days, the
number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about 150,
In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over 20,000s.
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively different. Initially, visits to Pop
Parade dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at
period. Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice
rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day
and then decreased to end the period at below
80,000s.
The line graph above (không dùng
nhé) provides informationabout
on và data on) the quantity of visits to
two kind of (bỏ) music sites on the
web (dùng online thay thế vì ý tác giả cũng
là như vậy) over the period. Overall, there
were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites
and (chỗ này có lẽ nên tách thành câu
hoặc dùng while) the number of visits to Pop
Parade was mostly higher than that of Music
Choice during two weeks (a two
For the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s
below 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s
60,000slevels and then stood at over 20,000s
toàn có thể tách thành 2 câu, câu 1
next four days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about
on the web over the period. Overall, there were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites and the
w 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and
number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about 150,000s in eleventh day.
In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over 20,000s.
Parade dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at about 170,000s at the end of the
period. Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice
rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day
and then decreased to end the period at below
(không dùng
provides informationabout (information
the quantity of visits to
music sites on the
ế vì ý tác giả cũng
over the period. Overall, there
were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites
ỗ này có lẽ nên tách thành câu 2,
the number of visits to Pop
Parade was mostly higher than that of Music
a two-week) period.
the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s
of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s
60,000slevels and then stood at over 20,000s at the seventh day (câu này nhi
ể tách thành 2 câu, câu 1 => It is obvious that…, câu 2 => Meanwhile,…
our days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about
11
re were wild fluctuations in figures of both sites and the
w 40,000s, the number of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and
000s in eleventh day.
about 170,000s at the end of the
the first week, while the figures for Pop Parade decreased dramatically from 120,000s to
of people visiting Music Choice varied between 20,000s levels and
(câu này nhiều ý quá) (hoàn
Meanwhile,…). Over the
our days, the number of visits to Pop Parade experienced an upward trend, at about

12
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150,000s in the eleventh day. In contrast, the figure for Music Choice remained stable at over
20,000s.
For the last four days, the patterns of two sites were relatively
different. Initially (dùng Firstly nhé, từ của bạn dùng có nghĩa khác), visits to Pop Parade
dropped suddenly, but then it soared to the peak at about 170,000s at the end of the period.
Meanwhile, the figure for Music Choice rose significantly to reach its peak at 14 day(Day
14) and then (thấy cái then này phải 4 lần rồi thì phải) decreased to end the period (mình
không đồng ý với cụm này, lối diễn đạt khá lạ) at below 80,000s.
Important Notes:
Để tránh lặp các cụm the number/ the figure nên thêm các câu Present Participle hoặc
thay bằng visitors, pageviews, users,…
,000s = 1,000 đấy.
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Bài 1:
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre
printed resource and other resources. It is clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction above
60% in every category, except the pre
Economics is highlighted in teaching and tutor , with 95% and 92%
normal percentage- with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, and
satisfaction is 72%. It is the most oustanding that Commerce is the best course with all indexs
are above 80%. Commerce is quite striker on
lowest one in pre-course information and other resources.
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one with average percentage is
90%, absolutely higher than the rest of table.
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first
không sai gì cả nhưng có lẽ band
từ show, first-year students)
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre
printed resource and other resources.
The table shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first-year students.
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre-course information, teaching, tu
60% in every category, except the pre-course information of Economics, with only 59%.
Economics is highlighted in teaching and tutor , with 95% and 92% of fulfillment. Law gets a
with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, and
are above 80%. Commerce is quite striker on all aspects than the others, while Economics is
course information and other resources.
90%, absolutely higher than the rest of table.
e shows the ratings of course satisfaction from first-year students.
ẽ band điểm chỉ 6.0-6.5 thôi) (bạn có thể paraphrase lại các
The table compares three courses in terms of their pre-course information, teaching, tutor,
sources. (sao lại viết câu này độc lập?) (nếu cần nêu 3 yếu tố
13
course information, teaching, tutor,
course information of Economics, with only 59%.
of fulfillment. Law gets a
with percentage from 60% to 80% in both five aspects, and the average
all aspects than the others, while Economics is
year students. (viết thế này thì
ạn có thể paraphrase lại các
course information, teaching, tutor,
ộc lập?) (nếu cần nêu 3 yếu tố

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thì nêu ngay từ câu trên, bên trên vẫn khá
ngắn) (cho cụm in three subjects
clear that all subjects are achieved satisfaction
(sửa chỗ ba lăng nhăng này) (1 là đ
ra) (2 có thể nói overall satisfaction of
thế) above 60% in every category
đánh giá thì sẽ là criteria), except
là bị trừ điểm nặng, rất lưu ý giùm
course information of Economics,
only (merely được rồi) 59%.
Economics is highlighted in teaching and
tutor (không miêu tả kiểu này) (
in terms of Economics gì đó)
92% of fulfillment (mình không ch
này được không nhưng tự d
con số vào 2 tiêu chí trên thì h
kèm mấy thằng còn lại, khoảng 60%)
ngược chiều) Law gets (thời QK
củng) from 60% to 80% (tránh miêu t
nặng, all) five aspects (từ này cao siêu quá)
trên thì thôi ý này chứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng)
giờ có Liên Từ?) It is the most oustanding
the best course with all indexs
Commerce is quite (thiếu gì từ
all aspects (tương tự) than the others, while Ec
khá phổ biến) pre-course information and other resources
nhấn, thì phải có số liệu).
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying
đó?) with (an) average percentage
định đối tượng linh tinh) (tiếp,
nhất gì đó).
Important Notes:
ừ câu trên, bên trên vẫn khá
in three subjects vào) It is
are achieved satisfaction
ăng nhăng này) (1 là đã diễn
satisfaction of thay
category (tiêu chí
except (for, thiếu
ý giùm) the pre-
course information of Economics, with
ghted in teaching and
ả kiểu này) (First of all,
đó), with 95% and
(mình không chắc dùng từ
ự dưng bồi cho 2
ố vào 2 tiêu chí trên thì hơi chụp giựt) (sao bạn không miêu tả 2 thằng
ấy thằng còn lại, khoảng 60%). (bạn phải dùng Liên Từ và nên thể hiện yếu tố
ời QKĐ hết thì hợp lý) a normal percentage- with percentage
(tránh miêu tả chung chung như thế
ừ này cao siêu quá), and the average satisfaction is
ứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng)
It is the most oustanding (lỗi thiếu Danh Từ đáng cho 5.0)
indexs (không nên dùng từ này) (chưa kể chia sai)
ếu gì từ ăn điểm, relatively) striker (không hi
than the others, while Economics is (the) lowest one in
course information and other resources (khi chỉ ra sự trái ng
Of the three specific courses, Commerce is the most satisfying one (one thay cho t
average percentage is (of) 90%, absolutely higher than the rest of table
ợng linh tinh) (tiếp, đáng lý con số nên đảo về cuối, trước đó nói cao hơn, cao
14
ả 2 thằng highest đi
ạn phải dùng Liên Từ và nên thể hiện yếu tố
with percentage (lủng
ế này) in both (trừ
the average satisfaction is 72% (đã nói ý
ứ, vừa nói khoảng lại vừa nói con số trung bình cộng). (không bao
đáng cho 5.0) that Commerce is
ể chia sai) are above 80%.
(không hiểu ý bạn) on
lowest one in (terms of, cụm
ỉ ra sự trái ngược, điểm
thay cho từ nào trước
the rest of table (xác
đó nói cao hơn, cao

15
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Mình tìm được 1 số cụm: student satisfaction rates, program satisfaction of first-
year university students, student satisfaction with the course, student course
satisfaction ratings, etc. Bạn chọn lọc rồi thay nhé. Riêng student they
bằng freshman.
Khi nhắc đến các tiêu chí có thể dùng in terms of, regarding, for hoặc dùng trực
tiếp tên môn học saw a number/ figure of…
Về Bố Cục, viết thừa 1 câu Introduction, thừa 1 câu Conclusion trong khi có mỗi 1
đoạn chính gộp cả 3 thằng vào nhau. Mình thấy như vậy rất là không hợp lý.
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Bài 2:
The table illustrates the level of satisfaction about economics, law and commerce courses from
the first-year students. Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest
rate of satisfaction in all criteria, fewer st
When it comes to pre-course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of
satisfaction, whereas the proportion of being satisfied with the economics and law courses are
at 59% and 72% respectively. In terms
place. Law ranks the second place with 95 and 92 %
criteria are slightly lower, at 76
With regards to resource criterion, the figure
rank. In contrast, law accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law
courses. From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students and
economics is the most unsatisfactory than
The table illustrates the level
paraphrase từ rate/ rating các ki
satisfaction about economics, law and
commerce courses from the (th
mạnh) first-year students. Overall,
noticeable that while commerce courses have
the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria,
fewer students contend with (Task 1 ch
tả thôi, không nên nói gì ngoài luồng)
courses.
When it comes to pre-course information,
commerce tops (cách diễn
three categories, with 59% of satisfaction,
whereas the proportion of being satisfied
with (sao không dùng figures for
hơn nhiều) the (dùng luôn tên riêng)
gợi ý thì bỏ từ này) 59% and 72% respectively. In terms of teaching
commerce still remains in the first place
thêm số liệu). Law ranks (nhi
while the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70%
year students. Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest
rate of satisfaction in all criteria, fewer students contend with law courses.
course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of
at 59% and 72% respectively. In terms of teaching an tutor, commerce still remains in the first
place. Law ranks the second place with 95 and 92 % while the figures for teaching and tutor
criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70% respectively.
With regards to resource criterion, the figure for law course is 86%, which maintains on the top
accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law
From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students and
unsatisfactory than law and commerce courses
The table illustrates the levels (chắc chỉ cần
các kiểu thôi) of
satisfaction about economics, law and
(thừa, sẽ bị trừ
year students. Overall, it is
noticeable that while commerce courses have
the highest rate of satisfaction in all criteria,
(Task 1 chỉ miêu
ả thôi, không nên nói gì ngoài luồng) law
course information,
ễn đạt lạ) among
three categories, with 59% of satisfaction,
proportion of being satisfied
figures for đơn giản
(dùng luôn tên riêng) economics and law courses are at (n
59% and 72% respectively. In terms of teaching an tutor
commerce still remains in the first place (câu này cụt lủn quá, nên có so sánh, không thì
(nhiều cách dùng từ hơi lạ) the second place with 95 and 92%
the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70%
16
year students. Overall, it is noticeable that while commerce courses have the highest
course information, commerce tops among three categories, with 59% of
of teaching an tutor, commerce still remains in the first
while the figures for teaching and tutor
for law course is 86%, which maintains on the top
accounts for 81% , compared to solely 70% of satisfaction in law
From the table it can be seen that other sources are also evaluated by students and
(nếu dùng như mình
an tutor (cái gì đây),
ụt lủn quá, nên có so sánh, không thì
the second place with 95 and 92%
the figures for teaching and tutor criteria are slightly lower, at 76 and 70% respectively.

17
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With regards to resource criterion, the figure for law course is 86%, which maintains (nên nối
bằng and) on the (có ai chia đâu mà toàn dùng mấy từ này, dùng highest/ lowest là được
rồi) top rank. In contrast, law accounts for (không phải dạng cột hay ô tròn) 81%, compared
to solely 70% (nếu trước đấy bạn dùng từ này cho chỗ 81% thì ở đây là that of) of
satisfaction in law courses. From the table it can be seen that (cách nói này hình như là
của overall/ conclusion, có vẻ bạn đã miêu tả đủ dài) other sources are also evaluated by
students and economics is the most unsatisfactory than law and commerce courses
Important Notes:
Đoạn 2 so sánh tạm ổn nhưng có 3 chỗ liền dính thằng respectively, it’s way too
much for your readers.
Đoạn 3 có câu cuối hình như bị trùng lặp với câu overall ban đầu.
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Đề luyện tập tuần này rơi vào d
Module tại Việt Nam ngày 14.02.2015.
Như thường lệ: các bạn nên luyện tập dành tối
hoặc không đủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không
Ưu tiên 5 bạn nộp bài sớm nhất. Chúc các bạn làm bài
Bài 1:
The flow chart shows the process of making a simple filter water and the important functions of
producing clean water.
Overall, there are four different stages which involves in the production of fresh water,
beginning with pouring impure wat
stage and finally being stored in a tank for drinking.
Looking at the first stage, we can see that blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank,
where the water is then pushed through three fi
gravel ones. After the purifying process is done, dusts from water are left on the filter and the
fresh water continues with being absorbed into a
equipped to connect between two containers and assist this stage. At the final stage, the water is
stored in a large container for drinking.
ơi vào dạnh miêu tả quy trình – Lấy từ đề thi IELTS Academic
ại Việt Nam ngày 14.02.2015.
ờng lệ: các bạn nên luyện tập dành tối đa 20′ để làm task 1. Các bài viết quá ngắn
ủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không
ạn nộp bài sớm nhất. Chúc các bạn làm bài tốt.
beginning with pouring impure water into a chamber. The water then goes through filtering
stage and finally being stored in a tank for drinking.
where the water is then pushed through three filtering layers including sand, charcoal and
fresh water continues with being absorbed into a large container by a hose or a pipe which are
t between two containers and assist this stage. At the final stage, the water is
stored in a large container for drinking.
18
ề thi IELTS Academic
ể làm task 1. Các bài viết quá ngắn
ủ tiêu chuẩn bài làm của một bài thi IELTS WRITING sẽ không được chấm.
er into a chamber. The water then goes through filtering
ltering layers including sand, charcoal and
large container by a hose or a pipe which are
t between two containers and assist this stage. At the final stage, the water is

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The flow chart shows the process of making a
simple filter water andthe important functions
of producing clean water (viết thế này kh
nhiều người nghĩ bạn sẽ liệt kê
which are important) (two stages
parts).
Overall, there are four different stages
involves in (mình nghĩ nên dùng
to… là hợp lý và đơn giản nhất, có phẩy)
production of fresh water, beg
pouring impure water into a chamber
quá). The water then goes through filtering
stage and finally being stored in a tank for
drinking (tách ra chứ ai lại gộp
(câu đầu theo mình là
từ beginning trở đi khá là linh tinh
Looking (bỏ đi, có cụm đi sau là đư
rườm rà) blue impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed
through three filtering layers including
bộ các thành phần) sand, charcoal and gravel
nhất) ones. After the purifying process
left on the filter (cụm này ch
or impurities are removed) and
continues with being absorbed into a
sang câu/ đoạn khác bằng một Liên Từ)
containers and assist this stage
in a large container for drinking.
Important Notes:
Định chữa ít thôi nhưng càng đ
vậy.
Chia Đoạn 3 ra làm 2 đo
Thay từ container hoặc loại bỏ vì
The flow chart shows the process of making a
the important functions
ết thế này khiến
ời nghĩ bạn sẽ liệt kê functions
two stages hoặc two
Overall, there are four different stages which
ĩ nên dùng from…
ản nhất, có phẩy) the
production of fresh water, beginning with
pouring impure water into a chamber (tham
. The water then goes through filtering
stage and finally being stored in a tank for
ứ ai lại gộp như vậy)
là ổn rồi còn ý
đi khá là linh tinh).
đi sau là được rồi) at the first stage, we can see that
impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed
including (dùng of nhé vì include nghĩa là sẽ không nói hết toàn
sand, charcoal and gravel (dùng Danh Từ như trong h
the purifying process (water purificiation) is done, dusts from water are
ụm này chưa chính xác) dusts (có lẽ là undesireable chemicals
and the fresh water (mình nghĩ nên tìm cụm khác
being absorbed into a large container by a hose or a pipe (ch
ạn khác bằng một Liên Từ) which are equipped to connect
and assist this stage (nghe hơi Vietnamese) . At the final stage, the water is stored
in a large container for drinking.
ưng càng đọc càng thấy nhiều chỗ cảm giác ổn m
đoạn. Trong đó Đoạn 2 thì dài hơn chút, thêm 1 câu là t
ặc loại bỏ vì đã dùng khá nhiều.
19
we can see that (bỏ bớt cho đỡ
impure water is poured from a vase into a tank, where the water is then pushed
ĩa là sẽ không nói hết toàn
ư trong hình là hợp lý
is done, dusts from water are
undesireable chemicals
ĩ nên tìm cụm khác thay thế)
(chỗ này có lẽ nên nối
ch are equipped to connect between two
. At the final stage, the water is stored
ọc càng thấy nhiều chỗ cảm giác ổn mà không phải
ơn chút, thêm 1 câu là tốt.

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Bài 2:
A glance at a diagram provided reveals a step by step process of producing clean drinking water.
At first glance it is obvious that there are some main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the filter and culminating in storaging in a tank.
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is started with pouring
contains three different layers such as sand, charcoal and gravel. Afterthat, the water is filtered
through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water . The step after
this is after being filted, clean water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the
bottom of the filter to the tank. Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using
in daily life.
A glance at a (the) diagram provided reveals
a step by step (nối lại) process of producing
clean drinking water (thiếu 1 ý của
first glance it is obvious that there are some
main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the
filter and culminating in storaging in a
tank (mình nghĩ cần nói from… to..
không nên chỉ dừng ở bước đ
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is
started with pouring water into the filter
which contains three different layers such as
sand, charcoal and gravel (chỗ này có thể
được 3 câu, ít thì 2 câu). After that
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water
cái after that nhé vì bạn có miêu tả b
cái thùng đầu). The step after this
filted, clean water is flowed (mình ngh
connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank
Hệ với connecting) (chỗ này có th
đoạn). Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank
rối rắm quá, bạn gõ clean drinking water
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is started with pouring water into the filter which
an water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the
diagram provided reveals
ss of producing
ếu 1 ý của đề). At
first glance it is obvious that there are some
main stages involving in this procedure,
beginning with pouring impure water into the
filter and culminating in storaging in a
from… to... chứ
đầu).
Looking at the process in detail, the first step is
water into the filter
which contains three different layers such as
ỗ này có thể ăn
After that, the water
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water
ạn có miêu tả bước nào tiếp theo đâu, bạn đang nói v
The step after this (thiếu gì cách diễn đạt mà chọn cụm này)
(mình nghĩ nên dùng Chủ Động) through the pipe which is
connected from the bottom of the filter to the tank (sao không dùng Rút Gọn Mệnh
y có thể chấm hết Đoạn 1, xuống dòng, coi như đ
. Finally, pure water is reserved in a tank for the purpose of using in daily life
clean drinking water có đầy cách nói hay và đơn giản h
20
water into the filter which
an water is flowed through the pipe which is connected from the
is filtered through 3 layers until removing all the dust in order to ensure the pure water (tránh
đang nói về chức năng của
ạt mà chọn cụm này) is after being
through the pipe which is
ọn Mệnh Đề Quan
ư đã qua 2 công
for the purpose of using in daily life (diễn đạt
ản hơn

21
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nhiều) (hoặc nối câu trước vào với câu này và coi đây là Đoạn 2, nước chảy qua vòi và
chứa nước).
Important Notes:
Câu 1 viết dài ra tí vì đề có 2 ý lận.
Câu 2 cũng thế, viết hẳn thành 1 đoạn không sao.
Để tránh chuyện thiếu trước hụt sau do cái đề nó chỉ có như vậy thì Đoạn
Introduction và Đoạn Overall viết cho thật dài
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Summarize the information and predict the outline of campus by 2020.
Bài 1:
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the per
between 1978 and 2020.
At first glance, it is clear that the trees, the study area and the sport field still remained from
1978 and 2010. In 2020, the area is expected to be empty.
Between 1978 and 2010, in the south corner of the college campus, the
make a way for IT center, while the block consists theater and music center were replaced by
science building. In the southwest of the campus, there was an appearance of new road linking
to both IT center and library, and the music
northeast of the library. In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees
were planted more.
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is shortened and completely demolished.
The maps illustrate the changes
đổi là how the campus has developed
period mới đúng) (tách thằng dự
Summarize the information and predict the outline of campus by 2020.
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the per
1978 and 2010. In 2020, the area is expected to be empty.
in the south corner of the college campus, the library was narrowed to
to both IT center and library, and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the
aps illustrate the changes about (to the) college campus after its construction
how the campus has developed) during the period between 1978 and 2020
ằng dự đoán cho 2020 ra).
22
The maps illustrate the changes about college campus after its construction during the period
library was narrowed to
center as well as XXX building moved to the
college campus after its construction (có lẽ nên
the period between 1978 and 2020 (over the

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At first glance (mình trung thành
với overall/ in conclusion), it is clear that the
trees, the study area and the sport field still
remainedfrom 1978 and 2010
area is expected to be empty. (2)
Between 1978 and 2010, in the south corner
of the college campus (to the … of …
library was narrowed to make a way for IT
center (mình nghĩ nét đứt tức là ch
đâu, kiểu như mới chia lại khu cũ thành 2
phòng nhưng vẫn chưa có
đường), while (cần tách ra) (lúc nãy là
hướng A, giờ là move về đâu đó như
center rồi miêu tả tiếp) the
block consists (diễn đạt) theater and music
center were replaced by science building. In the southwest of the campus, there was an
appearance of new road linking to both IT center and library
nhỉ sao quay lại làm gì), and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
of the library. In the north of the area, the car park
planted more (diễn đạt). (3) (4)
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus
and completely demolished.
Important notes:
(1) sẽ khó mà nói là from … to …
cái mới after the 32-year period
(2) có lẽ là có con đường mới dẫn
bằng while.
(3) Nhiều cụm chỉ hướng quá nhỉ?
- There were…
- X had been…
- A new building had…
(4) Chỗ car park nên là
hoặc chung một phần với
(mình trung thành
, it is clear that the
nd the sport field still
(1). In 2020, the
(2)
in the south corner
to the … of …), the
library was narrowed to make a way for IT
ứt tức là chưa có
ới chia lại khu cũ thành 2
ần tách ra) (lúc nãy là
đâu đó như the
theater and music
by science building. In the southwest of the campus, there was an
appearance of new road linking to both IT center and library (khu nào dứt đi
, and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
he library. In the north of the area, the car park was extended, while all the trees were
(3) (4)
In 2020, it is predicted that the college campus is (nên là would be vì chưa x
from … to … có cái gì không thay đổi, thay vào
year period.
ờng mới dẫn đến IT Center. Và nên nối luôn 2 câu lại
ớng quá nhỉ?
A new building had…
nên là it was extended to the north, có thể nói thêm là gấp mấy lần
ặc chung một phần với 2 new buildings.
23
by science building. In the southwest of the campus, there was an
điểm khu đấy chứ
, and the music center as well as XXX building moved to the northeast
while all the trees were
ưa xảy ra) shortened
ổi, thay vào đó nói về những
ến IT Center. Và nên nối luôn 2 câu lại
ể nói thêm là gấp mấy lần

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Bài 2:
The two maps indicate the same campus at a university . One is 1978 and second one is after
the construction of facilities completely.
Looking at the first map in 1978, we can see that there is a huge road conecting to the car
parking and both the theater and music center in the right hand and at the top left hand of the
map is sport field. The library ,which located oppositely with study area , is to the left of the
map below the road.
Moving on the second map after having a construction, we can see the parking area was
extended and exactly beside is the mucsic center standing along with xxx building which is
romoved for theatre center. Instead of music and theater center in 1978 a sience building was
built. One more thing should be noted that alongside of the library there is an IT center was
built and a small street is created to connect with the main road . The study area and sport field
most likely still retain before the construction.
The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should be made to lead to the among of the buildings
such as from the study area to the library.
Overall, comparing two maps , there are lots of significant changes making more convenience
for students and teachers study and work at the university.
The two maps indicate the same campus at a university. One is 1978 and second one is after
the construction of facilities completely. (1)
Looking at the first map in 1978, we can see that there is a huge road conecting to the car
parking (bổ sung thông tin và dừng câu này ở đây) and both the theater and music center in
the right hand and at the top left hand of the map is sport field (để chỉ hướng thì nên dùng
cái cụm To the South gì đó). The library ,which located oppositely with study area , is to the
left of the map below the road (nên miêu tả về sự thay đổi thay vì liệt kê).
Moving on the second map after having a construction, (sao không nói sau bao nhiêu năm thì
có những thay đổi lớn như thế này như thế kia, lặp lại y chang đoạn trên) we can see the
parking area was extended and exactly beside is the mucsic center standing along with xxx
building which is romoved for theatre center (thế này là quá tham cho 1 câu). Instead of
music and theater center in 1978 a sience building was (nhấn mạnh) built. One more thing
should be noted that alongside of the library there is an IT center was built and a small street is
created to connect with the main road (câu này cũng bị thừa mứa ý) . The study area and
sport field most likely still retain before the construction.

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The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should
be made to lead to the among of the buildings
such as from the study area to the library
này là phỏng đoán nên dùng
khỏi such as vì rất chi tiết).
Overall, comparing two maps , there are
significant changes making more convenience
for students and teachers study and work at
the university. (2)
Important notes:
(1) chưa đúng chuẩn Mở Bài
là về từ dùng cũng nh
gọn và độ bao quát. Ví dụ
chỉ cần 1 câu bản ghi thành 2 câu, có thể sửa thành
(2) nên đẩy lên ngay sau Mở Bài và l
hình. Như của bạn nói về lợi ích gì
The brief forecast in 2020 is that a path should
be made to lead to the among of the buildings
such as from the study area to the library (cái
đoán nên dùng would và
wo maps , there are lots of
significant changes making more convenience
study and work at
ẩn Mở Bài đặc biệt
ề từ dùng cũng như mức độ ngắn
ộ bao quát. Ví dụ đơn giản là
ỉ cần 1 câu bản ghi thành 2 câu, có thể sửa thành in 3 years đâu có sao.
ẩy lên ngay sau Mở Bài và lưu ý rằng không nêu những gì không có trong
ủa bạn nói về lợi ích gì đó là lạc đề.
25
đâu có sao.
ằng không nêu những gì không có trong
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Bài 3:
The two given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
to 2010. Overall, many changes had been made, as new building was built and old building was
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the campus’s vicinity
From 1978 to 2010, the car park at the north
times it’s former size. The buildings near the car park remain in their place, but theater center
was made bigger, and was re-
lead to the new sciece building, lying next to them to the west.
Some improvement was made at the south of the campus as well. In 2010, the library share it’s
building the IT centre. A new path is being built to connect this facility to the r
left corner. Only the study area remain the same.
In 2020, it is very likely that a new study area will be constructed, and the path leading to the IT
centre will be completed.
The two given maps present the improvements
in the a school campus 32 years apart: from
1978 to 2010 (1 là thiếu, 2 là mình nghĩ nên
viết theo đúng kiểu after a 32
from… to… and suggestions hay gì
2020). Overall, many changes had been made,
as new building was built and old building
was (có 1 cái mới, 1 cái cũ hay sao mà
dùng was, nếu chỉ có 1 thì cần nói rõ)
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the
campus’s vicinity (chi tiết này h
From 1978 to 2010 (phải nêu chính xác là
sau 2010 chứ), the car park at the north
corner of the area was enlarged, about three
times it’s its (dùng initial chắc
hơn) former size. The buildings near the car park remain
their place, but (có cần a/ an/ the
and was re-purposed (sửa với mục
given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the campus’s vicinity
10, the car park at the north-east corner of the area was enlarged, about three
-purposed as xxx building. The path leading these f
lead to the new sciece building, lying next to them to the west.
building the IT centre. A new path is being built to connect this facility to the r
left corner. Only the study area remain the same.
The two given maps present the improvements
32 years apart: from
ếu, 2 là mình nghĩ nên
after a 32-year period
hay gì đó cho
. Overall, many changes had been made,
as new building was built and old building
ới, 1 cái cũ hay sao mà
ếu chỉ có 1 thì cần nói rõ)
upgraded, though plenty of trees remain in the
ết này hơi linh tinh).
ải nêu chính xác là
, the car park at the north-east
the area was enlarged, about three
ắc ăn điểm
former size. The buildings near the car park remain (bạn định dùng thời gì ở
a/ an/ the hay là nêu tên) theater center was made bigger
ửa với mục đích làm gì) as xxx building. The path leading
26
given maps present the improvements in the school campus 32 years apart: from 1978
east corner of the area was enlarged, about three
purposed as xxx building. The path leading these facilities now
building the IT centre. A new path is being built to connect this facility to the road at the upper-
ịnh dùng thời gì ở đây) in
was made bigger (diễn đạt),
. The path leading to these

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facilities now lead (rất hay chia s/ es tùm lum) (đã nói về QK chưa mà đã dùng HT) to the
new sciece building, lying next to them to the west.
Some improvement was (không nói chung chung) made at the south of the campus as well. In
2010, the library share it’s building the IT centre (câu này vừa cụt vừa chả có ý nghĩa gì). A
new path is being built to connect this facility (lặp) to the road at the upper-left corner. Only the
study area remain (không tôn trọng chuyện chia Động Từ kiểu gì cũng chỉ loanh quanh 5.0-
5.5) the same.
centre will be completed.
Important Notes:
Đoạn 3 là đoạn lởm khởm nhất còn các Đoạn 2, 4 khá ổn.
Điểm trừ siêu nặng là lặp từ (thể hiện vốn từ yếu ớt) và chia động từ linh tinh.
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Bài 4:
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 a
predict the outline of campus in 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews as the car park was extended and some buildings were
erected. Over the period shown, the number of trees which covered the campus increased
significantly.
Over these 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a
small road was built to lead from main road to science building. While theater building was
replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study area.
students go this college to study to lead car park which is near the xxx building and muzic center
was extended by three time. To the southwest of campus, It center was opened by the way make
the library was narrowed.
By 2020, it is predict that buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the
campus was disappeared. The college would have plan to build a new campus.
The two drawings illustrate the
là changes thì đổi lại Động Từ nhé)
campus of college (dùng
campus thôi nhé, như đề bài ấy)
1978 and 2010 and predict the outline of
campus in 2020 (muốn sửa cụm này quá mà
đang phân vân chưa biết sao, chỉ nói
giản là mình thấy chưa ổn).
Overall, it is clear that the campus
cực kì nặng) as the car park was extended and
some buildings were erected. Over the period
shown, the number of trees which covered the
campus increased significantly
lớn chứ cây cỏ nói làm gì).
Over these 32 years (cụm
period ổn), to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road
was built to lead (st) from the
theater building was replace by xxx building,
đạt chưa tốt). Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 a
predict the outline of campus in 2020.
ese 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a
replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study area. Because
hat buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the
The two drawings illustrate the growth (nếu
ộng Từ nhé) of a
(dùng a college
ề bài ấy) between
predict the outline of
ốn sửa cụm này quá mà
ết sao, chỉ nói đơn
Overall, it is clear that the campus grews (lỗi
as the car park was extended and
some buildings were erected. Over the period
shown, the number of trees which covered the
campus increased significantly (tưởng ý gì
ụm the 32-year
, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road
the main road to science (chống lặp bằng this/ the
g was replace by xxx building, there was not any change at the study area
Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which
28
The two drawings illustrate the growth of a campus of college between 1978 and 2010 and
ese 32 years, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a
Because more and more
hat buildings were demolished and tress was chopped down to lead the
, to the south of the campus a science building was contructed and then a small road
this/ the) building. While
there was not any change at the study area (diễn
Because more and more students go this college to study to lead car park which

29
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is near the xxx building and muzic center was extended by three time. To the southwest of
campus, It center was opened by the way make the library was narrowed. (ý có vẻ ổn nhưng
cách viết, nhất là về độ clear là rất kém, mình chưa nhận xét trình độ Ngữ pháp)
By 2020, it is predicted that buildings were demolished and tress was (với mấy lỗi cơ bản lặp
mấy lần như thế này sẽ không bao giờ quá 5.0) chopped down to lead the campus was
disappeared. The college would have plan to build a new campus. (thừa)
Important Notes:
Bạn cần học kỹ hơn về Task 1 rồi mới nên gửi bài. Còn rất nhiều vấn đề chứng tỏ
bạn chưa học Task 1 cẩn thận. Bọn mình chỉ nhận chữa cho các bạn đã có chút nền
tảng để không mắc quá nhiều lỗi sơ đẳng.
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Bài 5:
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus
and 2010 caused by several reconstruction of some facilities.
As can be seen from the first chart, in 1978, a sport field was built in the southwest of the
campus, besides the road. Located in the middle of the campus is the combination of theatre
centre and music centre adjoining a small car park. All of those facilities were linked to the road
via the two small paths. Besides, a library and a study area were also set in northwest and
northeast of campus respectively.
In terms of the second map, it shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus
after 32 years. At first, it is obvious that the sport field was developed to the outdoor sports
fields. The theatre centre was replaced by the building named XXX and the car park next to it
was also expanded about three times larger to the northeast. It can also be seen that two
of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to the
road was also planned to be built. In addition, a new science b
road was also constructed on the left of music centre. Some new trees were planted near those
facilities as well.
Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions occurred in the campus,
leading to the great change in this area. However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be
demolished after several years of being used and
developed.
The provided maps illustrate the
between the situations (sự thay
(between làm gì khi đã có 3 n
đồ) of a college campus in 1978 and 2010
by several reconstruction of some
facilities (thằng này thì thừa trong khi mấy cái
cần gợi ý cho 2020 thì lại không nói tới)
As can be seen from the first chart,
đủ thông tin), a sport field was built in the
southwest of the campus, beside
to cho chắc) the road. Located in the middle of
the campus is the combination of theatre centre
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus
and 2010 caused by several reconstruction of some facilities.
northeast of campus respectively.
t shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus
as also expanded about three times larger to the northeast. It can also be seen that two
road was also planned to be built. In addition, a new science building with a linking path to the
great change in this area. However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be
demolished after several years of being used and
The provided maps illustrate the differences
ự thay đổi chứ)
ã có 3 năm liền trong bản
of a college campus in 1978 and 2010 caused
by several reconstruction of some
ằng này thì thừa trong khi mấy cái
ần gợi ý cho 2020 thì lại không nói tới).
om the first chart, in 1978 (chưa
, a sport field was built in the
southwest of the campus, besides (dùng next
the road. Located in the middle of
the campus is the combination of theatre centre
30
The provided maps illustrate the differences between the situations of a college campus in 1978
t shows that there were various changes occurred in this campus
as also expanded about three times larger to the northeast. It can also be seen that two-third
uilding with a linking path to the
great change in this area. However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be

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and music centre adjoining a small car park (không biết Ngữ pháp như bạn dùng có ổn
không, bạn có tham khảo nguồn nào thì chỉ cho mình) (nếu là mình thì sẽ viết Located in…,
X building is…). All of those facilities were linked to the road via the two small paths. Besides, a
library and a study area were also set in northwest and northeast (xem lại cách nói về hướng,
vị trí) of the campus respectively (không nghĩ kiểu respectively này ổn).
In terms of the second map (kết hợp chưa ổn), it shows that there were various changes
occurred in this campus after 32 years (nói thế này thì đến 2020 nói thế nào) (có thể
nói 2010 sees/ saw…). At first (mình nghĩ cần dùng Liên Từ khác), it is obvious that the sport
field was developed to the outdoor sports fields (ở đây cần dùng là Nâng Cấp đúng hơn hoặc
dùng cái A’ (thay thế) với nhưng từ kiểu thay thế, được mở rộng,…). The theatre centre was
replaced by the building named XXX (dùng thẳng luôn là XXX Building) and the car park next
to it was also expanded about three times larger to the northeast. It can also be seen that two-
thirds of library’s area was reconstructed to be an IT centre and a path connecting this facility to
the road was also planned to be built (chỗ này tách ra cho 2020). In addition, a new science
building with a linking path to the road was also constructed on the left of (the) music centre.
Some new trees were planted near those facilities as well. (mình nghĩ cây cối chỉ vẽ cho có
thôi nên không nghĩ các chi tiết về cây ăn thua)
Overall, after 32 years, there are many replacements and expansions (chú ý số ít/
nhiều) occurred in the campus site, leading to the great change (various changes và không
có the) in this area. However, in 2020, this campus is predicted to be demolished after several
years of being used and developed.
Important Notes:
Nhận xét riêng cho câu cuối:
1 là câu này đáng lý phải cho vào 1 đoạn dành riêng cho 2020) (overall không nói
cái này được đâu.
2 là mình nghĩ bạn hiểu nhầm đề và việc hủy khu vực này nghe rất trừu tượng).
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Bài 6:
The diagrams illustrate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the
building of installations between 1978 and 2010.
It is clear that the college field was changed considerably with the construction of facilities and
4 new features can be seen in the secon
number of trees across a 42 – year.
Look at the map in more detail from 1978 to 2010, while the area in the South East corner
maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by th
sport fields. While the car park in the North East corner was extended towards the North, the
library in the South West corner was narrowed considerably and this place was added the
information technology center.
As well as the buildings mentione
building, whereas there was constructed the XXX building in the middle of college campus.
There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science construction.
In 2020, it is probably that a new Art center
region will be erected.
The diagrams illustrate some
hơn tí cho ăn điểm) changes to
nhắc đến thì dùng a) college campus
was developed for the building of
installations (viết cụm này chả
gì, changes quá đủ rồi) between 1978 and
2010 (lỗi nặng, còn 2020 đâu?)
Overall, it is clear that the college field was
changed considerably with the construction
of facilities and 4 new features
bạn) can be seen in the second map, whereas
there were a remain steady in the number of
trees across a 42 – year (1, mình không ngh
cần nói về cây) (2, cách miêu tả có vẻ rất r
là 32 mới đúng).
rate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the
building of installations between 1978 and 2010.
4 new features can be seen in the second map, whereas there were a remain steady in the
year.
maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by th
information technology center.
As well as the buildings mentioned above, the theatre of operation replaced by the science
robably that a new Art center
(dùng từ mạnh
changes to the (lần đầu
college campus which
was developed for the building of
ết cụm này chả để làm
between 1978 and
đâu?).
t is clear that the college field was
changed considerably with the construction
facilities and 4 new features (nói cụ thể đi
can be seen in the second map, whereas
a remain steady in the number of
(1, mình không nghĩ là
ần nói về cây) (2, cách miêu tả có vẻ rất rườm rà) (3, over a 42-year period
32
rate some changes to the college campus which was developed for the
d map, whereas there were a remain steady in the
maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by the outside
d above, the theatre of operation replaced by the science
year period, mà hình như

33
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maintained unchanged, the sport field in the North West corner was replaced by the outside
sport fields (3 chỗ gạch chân đâu có cùng Chủ Ngữ) (1). While the car park in the North East
corner was extended towards the North, the library in the South West corner was narrowed
considerably and this place was added the information technology center (Ý 3 khá thừa và nên
tách ra thành câu) (mình luôn nghĩ 1 câu ghép 2 vế với nhau là chuẩn nhất chứ 3 vế thì
quá nhiều).
As well as the buildings mentioned above (tìm cách khác để tiếp cận Đoạn 4), the theatre of
operation (ý bạn là sao) was replaced by the science building, whereas there was constructed
the XXX building(xem lại các câu trúc cơ bản SVO) in the middle of the college campus. (cần
từ nối) There was also a short road linking the outdoor sport fields with the science
construction.
In 2020, it is probably that a new Art center region will be erected (ý road bên trên đáng lý là
phải cho câu này).
Important Notes:
(1) Khi viết câu ghép/ phức/ mixed, bạn cần chú ý Chủ Ngữ thống nhất hoặc không
cho các vế câu có mặt. Lỗi này có thể khiến bạn bị mất điểm nghiêm trọng.
Hồ Quang Trung

http://fed.edu.vn
Bài 7:
The maps illustrate the transformations of a college campus over a period of 42 y
1978 to 2020
overall, it is clear from the maps that from 1978 to 2010 the campus be came more modern with
far more places for supporting study.
During the period between 1978 and 2010, the study area and music centre remained
unchanged. The library in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre,
while the car park became much larger to the north corner.
The xxx building next to the car park appeared, while the theater centre was replaced by the
science buiding. To the west corn
Additionally, the campus had more green areas. .
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study.
The maps illustrate
the transformations (changes
college campus over a period of 42 years
from 1978 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear from the maps
from 1978 to 2010 the campus
came (dùng từ thế này đây)
with far more places for supporting
study (nên nói cụ thể hơn chút)
During the period between 1978 and
2010 (xem lại cụm này vì cả 2
đều dùng 1978 và 2010) (thay v
đoạn 1), the study area and music centre
remained unchanged. The library in the
south w est corner was narrowed to
away (make ways hay a way)
nhưng mình nghĩ cứ nói thẳng là
north corner.
The xxx building next to the car park appeared
replaced by the science buiding
The maps illustrate the transformations of a college campus over a period of 42 y
far more places for supporting study.
ary in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre,
while the car park became much larger to the north corner.
science buiding. To the west corner, the sport field was converted into outdoor sports field.
Additionally, the campus had more green areas. .
The maps illustrate
nhé) of a
ege campus over a period of 42 years
from the maps (thừa) that
from 1978 to 2010 the campus be
đây) more modern
with far more places for supporting
ơn chút).
During the period between 1978 and
ại cụm này vì cả 2 đoạn bạn
ều dùng 1978 và 2010) (thay vì từng giai
, the study area and music centre
remained unchanged. The library in the
south w est corner was narrowed to make
) for IT centre, while the car park became (bạn hay dùng
ứ nói thẳng là được cải tạo, nâng cấp, sửa chữa)
The xxx building next to the car park appeared (mốc thời gian), while the theater centre was
replaced by the science buiding (có phải at the same time). To the west corner, the sport field
34
The maps illustrate the transformations of a college campus over a period of 42 years from
ary in the south w est corner was narrowed to make away for IT centre,
er, the sport field was converted into outdoor sports field.
ạn hay dùng become
much larger to the
, while the theater centre was
. To the west corner, the sport field

35
http://fed.edu.vn
was converted into outdoor sports field. Additionally, the campus had more green areas (mình
không đồng ý lắm với vụ cây).
To 2020, it is forecast that it would be narrowed and exist only places for study. (chỗ gạch nối
là sẽ xây thêm) (xem lại cách miêu tả dự đoán của Simon)
Hồ Quang Trung

36
http://fed.edu.vn
Bài 8:
The maps illustrate the infrastructure arrangement of college campus in 1978 and essential
changes made to that setting by 2010.
In 2010, the facility organization basically remained the same except for a few extensions and
new constructions. One of he most noticeable renewals was the car park which nearly tripled in
size compared with that in 1978. In addition, the library was the only building that was
narrowed to allow half the space for the function of an IT center on its left. Meanwhile, a third
path newly led from the main road to the cluster of library and IT center. Although the theatre
center must gave way to XXX building, the music center stood still. Outstandingly, the campus
was greatly improved with the integration of a science building next to the XXX and music
center. They even filled the place with more trees in 2010.
It is expected that in 2020, the whole land of campus will be enlarged and it should be upgraded
to meet many other demands of students such as a laboratory, a canteen and a heath care
center.
The maps illustrate the infrastructure arrangement of college campus in 1978 and essential
changes made to that setting by 2010.
–> câu đầu tiên vừa rối vừa dài dòng. Bạn chỉ cần paraphrase lại câu đề bài trên thôi. Theo mình
bạn nên sửa như sau:
The two diagrams illustrate the infrastructural changes to a college campus over the period
from 1978 to 2010.
In 2010 (thế này sao thể hiện được sự so sánh giữa 2010 và năm 1978?), the facility
organization basically remained the same except for a few extensions and
new constructions(đây là uncountable noun nhé, bạn nên thay bằg từ buildings).
==> Overall/ In general, the facility…………………………………………………….new buildings during 32
years.
Dù sửa rôi mình vẫn thấy không ổn. Bạn đọc đề bài không kĩ chăng? người ta cho đề bài đã có
hàm ý muốn bạn cho số liệu chứng minh sự thay đổi và phát triển qua những năm qua mà! Mình
nghĩ bạn nên xem lại.
One of the most noticeable renewals was the car park which nearly tripled in size compared
with that in 1978.
–>Câu này lủng củng quá. Nên sửa thành
One of the most noticeable renewals was that the car park in 2010 nearly tripled in size
compared with that in 1978.

http://fed.edu.vn
In addition, the library was the only building
that was narrowed to allow half the space
for the function of an IT center on its left
==> In addition, the library was just one
third as large as it had been in 1978
make room for an IT center on
Meanwhile, a third path newly
main road to the cluster of library and IT
center.
==> Mw, another new path was made to
lead from the main road to the IT center.
Although the theatre center must
XXX building, the music center
While the theatre center gave way to XXX
building, the music center remained
unchanged.
Outstandingly, the campus was greatly improved with the
to the XXX and music center.
Minhf ko hiểu sao bạn lại dùng t
They even filled the place with more trees in 2010.
==> Nên dùng bị động để bài viết mang tính khách quan h
Also, more trees were planted in the campus in 2010 than in 1978.
It is expected that in 2020, the whole land of campus will be enlarged and it should be
upgraded to meet many other
demands) such as a laboratory, a canteen and a
Important notes:
– bài viết không mạch lạc
– còn mắc những lỗi sai không
– Cá nhân mình thì thấy đề bài bày tỏ rất rõ 2
qua từ 1978-2010. Tóm tắt những
Mình đồng ý với việc bạn viết dự
– lỗi về word choice
– bài này chắc cũng chỉ ở band 5.0
In addition, the library was the only building
to allow half the space
for the function of an IT center on its left.
was just one
as large as it had been in 1978 to
make room for an IT center on its left side.
newly led from the
main road to the cluster of library and IT
new path was made to
lead from the main road to the IT center.
must gave way to
er stood still.
While the theatre center gave way to XXX
the music center remained
Outstandingly, the campus was greatly improved with the integrationof a science building next
ng từ integration, bạn nên tra lại oxford từ này.
They even filled the place with more trees in 2010.
ể bài viết mang tính khách quan hơn.
were planted in the campus in 2010 than in 1978.
the whole land of campus will be enlarged and it should be
other (không cần thiết) demands of students (==> meet students’
such as a laboratory, a canteen and a heath(lỗi chính tả) care center.
đáng có
ề bài bày tỏ rất rõ 2 ý: 1. So sánh để thấy sự phát triển trong 32 n
ắt những điểm nổi bật. 2. Dự đoán xem 2020 sẽ thay
ệc bạn viết dự đoán ở câu kết
ở band 5.0-5.5
37
of a science building next
the whole land of campus will be enlarged and it should be
demands of students (==> meet students’
care center.
ể thấy sự phát triển trong 32 năm
ẽ thay đổi như thế nào.

38
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TASK 2TASK 2TASK 2TASK 2

Ielts writing collection 2015

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