Guiding Your Strong Willed Child Workshop, Week 4 The fourth in a series of six workshops for parents on guiding the strong willed child.

1. Guiding Your
Strong Willed Child
0 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. Week Four
Community Blame the Man
Family Invest with Yes
Science What’s Your Function?
Framework Case of the Missing Sock
At-Home Micro Choices

3. Negotiation www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFYsJYPye94
Community

4. Negotiables – a review
• A negotiation
– Begins with your invitation (a question)
– Never follows whining or challenging behavior
– Ends immediately if challenging behavior occurs
Community

5. Blame the Man
aka “It’s What the Sign Says”
• Concrete alternative to repeat negotiation
• Once posted, it can not be changed until your
scheduled review
Photo via Exploreminnesota.com
Community

6. Blame the Man
• Stay on their side - Allows you to commiserate while
still being consistent
Photo via honda.com, pinterest.com, today.com, playpartypin.com
Community

7. Questions for the Table – 10 Minutes
Community
1. What did you discover this week about the
frequency of your negotiations? Ideally would
you like more, less or about the same number?
2. Who is initiating the negotiation most often?
3. Did you discover any pattern to the type of
negotiations you are engaging in?
4. What happens currently if the negotiation turns
south (screaming, yelling…)?
End

8. Large Group Q & A
Community
• Questions?
• Reflections?

9. Week Four
Community Blame the Man
Family Invest with Yes
Science What’s Your Function?
Framework Case of the Missing Sock
At-Home Micro Choices

10. Who Had a HAT Meeting this Week?
How Are Things
Happy Adult Time
Family

11. Invest with Yes!
Freedom within CLEAR Limits
Yes
Vs. The Extremes
Family
Photo via pinterest.com and amazon.com

12. Family
Photo via gameofthrones.wikia.com
Boundaries are hard to hold,
Don’t spread yourself too thin!

13. Invest Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAKnU95NTzI
Family

14. Home Climate Analysis
Family
• Is it possible that we have too many rules?
– Can I ever do anything right?
• Is it possible that our expectation are too high?
– Am I free to be a kid at home?
• Is it possible that our expectations are unclear?
– What does my parent want me to do?
• What prevents us from holding firm to our boundaries?
– Will I get my way today?
End

15. The Four Cs
Family
Choices BEFORE
Changes LATER
Consistency DURING
And, Corrections are expensive - spend them wisely!

16. HAT Meeting Four Assignment
Family
• Schedule 30 minutes of protected, kid-free time for
each week of our workshop on your CALENDAR
Goal for Meeting Four
Make a list of all the (written or unwritten) rules you
have this week & see if they align with your values
Continue to define your values!

17. Week Four
Community Blame the Man
Family Invest with Yes
Science What’s Your Function?
Framework Case of the Missing Sock
At-Home Micro Choices

18. Nuts & Bolts of Behavior
Operational
Definitions
Antecedent
Original
Behavior
Replacement
Behavior
Consequence
Science

19. Today’s Gift from Science
Operational
Definitions
Antecedent
Behavior
Consequence
Science

20. Not-A-Test
• Which of the following could be described as
a consequence? Select ALL that apply.
• politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit
her brother
• passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”
• talking with your child about how it makes you feel when
she hits her brother
• giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after
she hits her brother
• giving your child a big hug after she falls down
Science

21. Not-A-Test
• Which of the following could be described as
a consequence? Select ALL that apply.
• politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother
• passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”
• talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother
• giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother
• giving your child a big hug after she falls down
ALL ARE CONSEQUENCES. A consequence is simply what
happens as a result of a behavior, it could be reinforcing or
punishing or have no effect.
Science

22. Not-A-Test
• Reinforcement has occurred in which of the
following examples:
a) Your child completes a chore & receives a sticker on
her daily chore chart
b) Your child is being too loud at a restaurant so you
say, “If you don’t quiet down, I will take away your
ipad” and he quiets down
c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please” so
you free her. She starts asking for help more often as
a result.
Science

23. Not-A-Test
• Reinforcement has occurred in which of the
following examples:
(c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please”
so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as
a result.
This is the only example in which we know that the
probability of behavior increased in the future as a
result of the consequence!
Science

24. Not-A-Test
• All behavior serves a __________________.
Please write in your single word answer. If you
don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers
will earn partial credit ☺
Science

25. Not-A-Test
• All behavior serves a __________________.
Please write in your single word answer. If you
don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers
will earn partial credit ☺
FUNCTION!
Answer: And the key to changing a behavior is to understand its function.
Science

26. Behavior Serves a Function
• A behavior continues to occur because it worked
• “Worked” does not imply that a person can name
or identify the function of their own behavior
– Observation is the only real way to understand what
consequence is maintaining a behavior
• If you want to change a behavior, a person needs
another way to get from A to C…a new B!
– This is where the magic lives! More on this to come…
Science

27. Determining the Function of Behavior
Science
• We must understand the FUNCTION of a behavior
if we are going to be able to use “natural” positive
reinforcement to our advantage
• How do we assess the function? We watch to see
what consequence follows the behavior currently

28. Determining the Function of Behavior
Science

29. I Eat Chocolate Ice Cream Before Bed…
• What should I eat instead?
• Carrots & Celery…
– (lasts 1 night, maybe)
• Chocolate Snack
– (better chance)
Science

30. Week Four
Community Blame the Man
Family Invest with Yes
Science What’s Your Function?
Framework Case of the Missing Sock
At-Home Micro Choices

31. Case of the Missing Sock
• Remember Little Sally?
– Sally is physically able to put on her socks & boots
– Family is preparing to leave for school, Mom asks Sally
to put on her socks & boots so that they can be ready
to go but…
• Almost everyday, Sally can be spotted wandering around
holding her socks while Mom puts a jacket on a younger
sibling and then Mom catches Sally and has to ask her to
put on her socks & boots again. Unless she is next to her, it
never gets done. Most mornings, Mom ends up helping Sally
put them on.
Framework

32. Function Detective
• Current maintaining consequence is that most
mornings, Mom ends up helping Sally put socks &
boots on
– Might be attention (access to time with Mom)
– Might be avoidance (avoids effort of having to put on
socks & boots)
– Might be avoidance (delays going into car and then
to school)
Framework

33. Function-Based Reinforcement
• New behavior must result in current maintaining
consequence…
– Might be attention (access to time with Mom)
• Mom only mimes until boots & socks are on
– Might be avoidance (avoids effort of having to put on
socks & boots)
• Mom puts on socks & boots immediately after saying, “Let’s
put on your boots” after using graduated guidance
– Might be avoidance (delays boring car ride)
• Favorite toys are in special car box waiting for child after
socks & boots are on
Framework

34. Week Four
Community Blame the Man
Family Invest with Yes
Science What’s Your Function?
Framework Case of the Missing Sock
At-Home Micro Choices

35. Choices are Good!
“Providing choice opportunities resulted in clinically
significant reductions in the number of occurrences
of problem behavior.”
• The Effect of Choice-Making as an Intervention for Problem Behavior: a Meta-Analysis
(Shogren et al., Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 2004).
At-Home

36. Ways to Offer Choices
Open Ended Questions
Structured Choices
Micro Choices
You or Me Choices
At-Home

37. Micro Choices Overview
• Tiny, EASY little choices that don’t affect the
outcome but still share control!
• For now, stick with outcomes that you already know
the child will not resist – icing on the cake!
– Speed: Walk home fast or slow? (still walking home)
– Style: Green jacket or red jacket? (still wearing jacket)
– Size: Bath half full or all the way full (still having a bath)
– Shape: Orange peeled or unpeeled? (still eating an
orange)
At-Home

38. More Examples of Micro Choices
• Examples
– Do you want to sit in the red chair or blue chair?
– Do you want a full or half glass of milk?
– Should I read underwater-style or rodeo-style?
– Do you want to use green or blue paint?
• Non-examples
– What do you want for dinner? (open ended)
– Do you want to do your homework now or later? (structured)
– Are you going to put your boots on now or do I need to help
you do it? (your or me)
At-Home

39. At-Home

40. Making this Work at Home
• Guided Practice Every Workshop Week
– HAT meeting
• This week: Determine if your rules align with your values?
– Daily Five
• This week: Add Micro Choices into your Daily Five!
– 30-Second Video
• This week: Email me a Micro Choices video!
At-Home

41. Questions, Comments?
Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com
Email me at biehuschicago@gmail.com
At-Home