Guiding Your Strong Willed Child, Week 6

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Guiding Your Strong Willed Child, Week 6

  1. 1. Guiding Your Strong Willed Child 0 1 2 3 4 5 6
  2. 2. Not-A-Test •  Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book: •  The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori •  Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay •  The Attachment Parenting Book by William & Martha Sears •  French Kids Eat Everything by Karen LeBillion •  On Behavior by BF Skinner •  None of the above Review
  3. 3. Not-A-Test •  Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book: •  •  •  •  •  •  None of the above Parenting is personal! The plan you make at your HAT is the best way for YOU to parent. Harnessing the science of learning can make parenting easier. Review
  4. 4. Not-A-Test •  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well Longer than a minute Happy Throws object Review
  5. 5. Not-A-Test •  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well Longer than a minute Happy Throws object •  Answer? All but those in black – those all are presumptions we make based on our observations, but are not objective descriptions of behavior Review
  6. 6. Not-A-Test •  An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as: •  what happens after a behavior occurs •  what happens before a behavior occurs •  what causes a behavior to occur •  how a child feels before she engages in a behavior Review
  7. 7. Not-A-Test •  An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as: •  •  what happens before a behavior occurs •  •  Answer: An antecedent comes before a behavior but does not cause operant behavior contrary to popular opinion Review
  8. 8. Not-A-Test •  Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother •  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!” •  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother •  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother •  giving your child a big hug after she falls down Review
  9. 9. Not-A-Test •  Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother •  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!” •  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother •  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother •  giving your child a big hug after she falls down ALL ARE CONSEQUENCES. A consequence is simply what happens as a result of a behavior, it could be reinforcing or punishing or have no effect. Review
  10. 10. Not-A-Test •  All behavior serves a __________________. Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺ Review
  11. 11. Not-A-Test •  All behavior serves a __________________. Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺ FUNCTION! Answer: And the key to changing a behavior is to understand its function. Review
  12. 12. Not-A-Test •  Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: a)  Your child completes a chore & receives a sticker on her daily chore chart b)  Your child is being too loud at a restaurant so you say, “If you don’t quiet down, I will take away your ipad” and he quiets down c)  Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please” so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result. Review
  13. 13. Not-A-Test •  Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: (c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please” so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result This is the only example in which we know that the probability of behavior increased in the future as a result of the consequence! Review
  14. 14. Not-A-Test •  Behavior of both children and adults _________ be reinforced or punished. •  probably should •  probably should not •  will •  will never Review
  15. 15. Not-A-Test •  Behavior of both children and adults WILL be reinforced or punished. No matter our preferences or actions, the natural world and our social communities WILL dole out consequences serve to reinforce and punish our behavior. It serves us best to understand how they work so that they can be employed to help strengthen “good” behavior, and transparently so that “good” is democratically defined. Review
  16. 16. Not-a-Test •  While attempting to quickly pick up a few things for dinner with you, your child pointed to the candy aisle and said, “I need candy now!” You said, “Sorry, no candy today pal. We are having your favorite lunch though right when we get home! Macaroni & cheese!” Your child was not impressed. He threw himself to the ground and in a Broadway-style performance screamed, “You are a terrible parent! I am so hungry! CANDY!” You said, “Stop screaming. If you ask nicely, then you can have one piece of candy. Just one piece.” He stopped screaming and asked nicely. You let him pick one piece of candy. He was pleasant the whole ride home. Review
  17. 17. Not-a-Test, Part One •  You are now preparing to go grocery shopping with your child again. (You tried to trade the chore with someone else but to no avail ☺) What would you expect to happen if you do nothing differently? Answer: (one point) Groundhog’s Day – The behavior was reinforced so science tells us that the future probability of it occurring will increase Review
  18. 18. Not-a-Test, Part Two… •  There are many ways you could probably get a better outcome. Please write ONE specific idea you have and WHY you think it would work (you may wish to consider making changes to the antecedent, behavior, or consequence). Review
  19. 19. Not-a-Test, Part Two… Answer [1st Point] The function of the challenging behavior is ____________________ so I could (pick one): o  Replace that behavior with a more appropriate behavior that serves the same function such as (consequence intervention)… o  Make the challenging behavior work less well (consequence intervention) by… o  Un-set the stage (antecedent intervention) for the challenging behavior by… o  Re-set the stage (antecedent intervention) for the appropriate behavior by… [2nd Point] This will work because all behavior serves a function and this new way helps my child access that SAME consequence in a more appropriate way! Wahoo! Review
  20. 20. Week 6. Oh the Places You’ll Go! 0 1 2 3 4 5 6
  21. 21. Week Six Community Super Kid Meeting Content New Way Work Session Collaboration Our Favorite Things Extension A New Way Video
  22. 22. Super Kid Meetings Make yourself a note of appropriate behavior you want to strengthen through celebration Set aside a time to reflect with child on her use of appropriate behavior Offer your full attention during meeting Consider creating a permanent product Community
  23. 23. Super Kid Meetings: Small Changes, Big Difference •  Make sure it is an authentic, fun & positive time… “Sam, when I asked you to “stop & wait” for me on our walk today, you listened the first time!” •  Invite developmentally-appropriate participation in process…“Did you want to keep going when I asked you to stop?” “You did?! And you still stopped. Wow!” •  Document…”Would you like to add a map to your book, act out w/ toys, role play for video…?” Community
  24. 24. Week Six Community Super Kid Meeting Content New Way Work Session Collaboration Our Favorite Things Extension A New Way Video
  25. 25. Nuts & Bolts of Behavior Operational Definitions Antecedent Original Behavior Replacement Behavior Consequence Content
  26. 26. Today’s Gift from Science Operational Definitions Antecedent Behavior REPLACEMENT Consequence Content
  27. 27. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content OLD, CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR •  Operational Definition This is a description of the behavior we want to replace: – Child pulling hair of peer & grabbing toy
  28. 28. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content OLD, CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR •  Antecedents. We observed that these antecedents often occur before the behavior: – Peer takes toy from child – Peer has highly preferred toy – Parent is not within arm’s reach
  29. 29. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content OLD, CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. We observed that our child often accesses the following consequence(s) after the behavior (circle relevant): – Attention – Escape – Avoidance – Access to something tangible
  30. 30. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content OLD, CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. Specifically we observed that these things usually happen after the behavior occurs: – Peer gives toy – Child accesses toy briefly – Adult gives child a different toy – Adult says, “uh oh, we need to ask nicely for a toy.”
  31. 31. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Operational Definition. This is a description of the behavior we want to teach to replace the old behavior: – Child says, “Please”
  32. 32. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Antecedents. This is how we will un-set the stage for the challenging behavior using what comes BEFORE: – During toy play for next week, parent will supervise all cooperative toy play or give child a highly-preferred independent activity
  33. 33. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Antecedents. This is how we will PROACTIVELY re- set the stage for the child to use the new, replacement behavior: – Parents will model as often as possible – During supervised play, parent will give peer the child’s favorite toy, prompt child to get a new toy, bring it to the peer, say, “please trade” & prompt peer to trade toy immediately
  34. 34. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. This is how the new behavior will work as well OR BETTER than the old behavior to access to something tangible – Supervised play will enable the parent to make sure that child’s “Please trade” works even better than her Grab & Steal method – Using “please trade” instead of “please” should increase prob. of future reinforcement
  35. 35. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. Is new skill strong enough to access the natural consequences or do we need to bring the gap until it strengthens with bonus reinforcement? – Stop (“Did you just say, ‘Please trade’?!) – Celebrate (“When you said ‘Please trade’ your friend traded toys with you!”) – Document (“Wow! I am going add another piece to this Lego tower! Look how tall it is now!) – Super Kid Meeting (Later that night, “I noticed that you have really learned to say, ‘Please trade!’ Do you want to teach your bear how to trade too? [Yes!] Okay, Daddy will video tape it!)
  36. 36. A New Way Plan – Work Session Content NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. How will we know when the new behavior is strong enough to stand on its own? – Parent will gradually delay the prompt to say, “Trade please” until child says it without a prompt a few times – Parent will gradually let peer decide when to share though sharing will continue to be celebrated!
  37. 37. A New Way Plan – Work Session NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR •  Consequences. What will we do if the child takes the old way? Can we make that road less effective? – TURN INTO ROBOT PARENT – Do not allow access to stolen toy – Write down your simple plan & stick – Be boring! Save drama for good – Have a phone operator mantra Content
  38. 38. Week Six Community Super Kid Meeting Content New Way Work Session Collaboration Our Favorite Things Extension A New Way Video
  39. 39. Why? “Research has shown that the most effective way to reduce problem behavior in children is to strengthen desirable behavior through positive reinforcement rather than trying to weaken undesirable behavior using aversive or negative processes.” •  Sidney W. Bijou, Ph.D. Collaboration
  40. 40. A Few of Our Favorite Things Collaboration •  Name the Good Playtime •  Sure Y! First X, Then Y! •  Micro Choices •  Micro Demands •  Super Kid Meetings •  Choices Before, Consistency During, Changes Later •  The Upside Down Principal
  41. 41. Name the Good Playtime 1.  Set aside 5 min to “play” most days. 2.  Avoid making demands, corrections or asking questions. 3.  Use your interactions to INVEST in your child CommunityCollaboration Reflect Highlight Natural Perks Imitate Specifically Describe C: “I am building a tower.” P: “That is a tall tower!” C: (Shares toy) P: “You set the table, now we can eat our snack!” C: (Dancing) P: (Dance!) C: (Racing cars) P: You are racing cars!
  42. 42. Sure Y! First X, Then Y! 1.  “Sure Y!” Start with “Sure you can ________” 2.  “First X,” Give a simple & good X demand 3.  “Then Y!” Fun Y follows contingently CommunityCollaboration Child Asks For Child Already Doing Child Loves C: “May I have cereal?” P: “Sure you can have cereal… C: (Playing with legos) P: “Would you like to keep playing with legos? Sure…” C: (Loves to jump) P: “Would you like to jump on trampoline? OK…”
  43. 43. Micro Choices 1.  Tiny, EASY little choices that don’t affect the outcome but still share control! 2.  Use variations (what flavor icing?) on fun outcomes (eating cake) that you expect your child to like Speed Style Size Shape Walk home fast or slow? Green jacket or red jacket? Bath half full or all the way full? Orange peeled or unpeeled? Collaboration
  44. 44. Micro Demands •  Make silly, simple or adored demands frequently to help teach that all demands are not bad •  Aim to make good demands that are assertive, necessary, instructive & enforceable •  Celebrate their compliance using techniques from Name the Good CommunityCollaboration Silly Simple Adored Son, wiggle your nose! My look at that nose wiggle! Daughter, pass the spoon. Now I can eat my soup! Son, give yourself a scoop of ice cream. You picked chocolate!
  45. 45. Super Kid Meetings 1.  Have a full-attention meeting with your child 2.  Invite your child to participate in a fun & easy way 3.  Document when your child takes the way that works! CommunityCollaboration Behavior Map Role Play Video Journal Draw out what came before, what the child did, and the result of his or her choice Act out what happened (stick to the road that worked) & video tape it Give your child the chance to tell his or her story of taking the way that worked on video
  46. 46. Choices Before, Consistency During, Changes Later 1.  Offer choices BEFORE challenging behavior (only You or Me choices after challenging behavior) 2.  When challenging behavior occurs, be Robot Parent 3.  If something works or doesn’t, write it down & review at HAT CommunityCollaboration Choices Before Consistency During Changes Later (About to leave park which has been difficult before) Would you like to look for birds on our walk home or have a snack? (Child throws himself to the ground while screaming) Okay, I choose look for birds. (carry screaming child to stroller while thinking happy thoughts) (Review at HAT. Great job sticking to plan! Might want to teach a functional replacement behavior going forward.) We are going to teach child to ask “one more minute pls”
  47. 47. The Upside Down Principal KEY: Turn the principal office upside down! Attention for good, boring if bad, create a new way Collaboration
  48. 48. Week Six Community Super Kid Meeting Content New Way Work Session Collaboration Our Favorite Things Extension A New Way Video
  49. 49. Workshop: Coming to a Close •  Please complete the Not-A-Test & the survey •  Please leave it for me with your name tag before you go tonight! •  If your parenting partner is not present tonight, please bring both home & ask him or her to drop it off in the Near North office by FRIDAY or to email me a scanned copy. •  They are both really important! Extension
  50. 50. At-Home Extension: A New Way Video •  By May 1st, please email me a video of you & your parenting partner describing how & why your “A New Way” plan is working! Extension
  51. 51. Questions, Comments? •  Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com •  Email me at biehuschicago@gmail.com Extension

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