2. Demographic
• I used a range of ages, job title and genders,
all of which into my category of target
audience.
• I have highlighted the most useful feedback in
red, I will be responding to this feedback by
making improvements and corrections.
5. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
8
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The way the music went with the images so well
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
I wasn't on the edge of my seat
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
Music
Sound
Titles
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Louder Music - Quieter sound.
Sounds of the sea/background sounds during the music
Heartbeat too loud
More or less reverb on "I miss you" (either, or)
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Just the ones above
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general
plot/feel of the film?
I understood it but had more questions
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Ye
8. 1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
10
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
I liked the use of sound and the visual images. I especially
liked the use of the natural light and reflections on the train
journey.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
Nothing. I really liked the film.
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or
displeasing?
None
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Respondent skipped this question
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
None
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand
the general plot/feel of the film?
I understood the plot and especially liked the scene where
she was talking to no one which showed that she was
dreaming/ in a coma
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
11. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
9
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
Cinematography and the music. The last scene of the film too
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
I really liked everything
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or
displeasing?
Sound
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Soundtrack of the people talking in the sceen of the cafe was a bit
too loud
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
soundtrack of the people talking in the scene of the cafe was maybe
a bit too loud. Maybe make that sound more quiet
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the
general plot/feel of the film?
No
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
14. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
7
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The cinematography especially the angles used to film the
characters
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
Some scenes with sound ended too abruptly
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or
displeasing?
Other (please specify) Continuity
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
sometimes background changed, for example when the man held his
hand out
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Don't have background noise switching off so starkly
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the
general plot/feel of the film?
The plot and idea was clearly explained by the last scene
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
15. 5. Evie Brill Paffard
Age: 19
Job: English Student, University of York
16.
17. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
8
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The use of music.
The lack of background noise/speaking - made it seem ethereal and
dreamlike.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
I wish it were slightly longer so that the relationship between the boy and
girl could've been developed a bit more.
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
Other (please specify) I found some of the camera angles a little confusing,
but I assume that in these cases it was intenional.
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Respondent skipped this question
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
I think that there could have been more development in the relationship
between the two central figures.
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general
plot/feel of the film?
I interpreted it as some kind of delusion/unreliable memory suffered by a
girl with an unexplained health problem.
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
21. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
6
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The music was a beautiful drive for the narrative of the film and totally relevant in terms
of emotional response and themes that elliott smith's music deals with. Interesting to see
an internal emotional story within a character who in 'real life' appears emotionless or
blank, then mixed with music which often deals with feeling nothing or empty.
I also like the fact that you have selected a specific time that this is happening. It's like a
note of the date and place of death solidifying what happens later. Also, the specific parts
of dialogue that you've kept silent, das ist gut.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
I think the part I had any problem with was the ambient noises of the first outside scene
and also the cafe. I think they need to be more quiet as it distracts from the visuals of
what is going on and seems almost unrealistic. Unless you want to focus on the kind of
more mundane everyday things that are going on, like Lynne Ramsey does in We Need to
Talk About Kevin... perhaps bring down the general base track of ambience so the
particular sounds you want shine through more.
I also think some of the visuals stand out of the general style especially the exterior shots
before they go on the train and she has just left the hospital... some seem a little too
bright and overexposed to be cohesive with other shots in the same place that are darker.
This could be balanced out with a little colour correction though :)
22. Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
Editing
Sound
Aesthetics
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
With Sound/Editing
I've already noted some parts that could be developed but there's a particular bit
with the ambient noises in the cafe that i'm wondering whether you are trying to
make it seem dreamlike or if it is just the actual recording of the sound. i'd suggest
maybe getting a different ambient sound for the cafe as it seems slightly out of place
but that might be because it's kind of loud. Also his voice kind of get's lost within this
ambient noise which is a nice effect but I think it wil sound a bit better once you've
worked on the other parts a bit more. I'm not sure maybe i'm being too picky, I just
think sound is just as important as visuals so maybe rethink that part?
Oh, also the part right at the end where it has the heartbeat sounds to the flatlining
tone. I think the flatline tone is too high and maybe needs to be a like an octave
lower to sound more like a flatline. Unless you want it to be subjective? I still
understood it though :)
23. Aesthetics/Editing
I've already mentioned balancing out the levels of light for the exterior shots but
there is one shot that I wasn't too keen on which was the slow motion part where
they are hugging on the beach. I mean it's totally subjective, i'm just think it stands
out a bit to the rest of the film.
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Gah all my suggestions of improvement are everywhere. I'm sorry.
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general plot/feel of
the film?
I understood the plot through it's entirety and I think you've used some good
mainstream cinema techniques to explain the narrative in very cohesive way in all
aspects of camera direction and visual editing. I just think the sound needs to be
worked on and finessed a bit.
Sorry for kind of tearing it apart, I do think it is a good film, wunderbar! Just needs
a bit more work. Will love to see it when you've decided on what parts you are
going to change!
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
26. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
10
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The actors, music specials effects, and costume
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
Nothing it was all good
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
None
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
I thought the story was original, It was unpredictable so one never felt
board.
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
No not at all
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general
plot/feel of the film?
No not at all was very clearly told
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
29. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
10
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
Everything. Especially the cinematography. Also the twist at the end was
very poignant (but in a good way) My favourite part was the train scene
because the light looked amazing and it went really well with the music.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
Nothing.
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
None
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Respondent skipped this question
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Perhaps one little thing - at the end just before Lua dies, her eyes are open.
It may have made a little more sense for her eyes to be closed so the whole
thing was a dream, while the noise of the life support machine monitor
thing would have still made it clear that she died.
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general
plot/feel of the film?
I wasn't confused at all. It was all very clear I think.
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
32. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
7
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
I liked how for most of the film you didn't know what was going on
but then there was a sudden realisation which brought the film
together.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
Some of the sounds were a bit loud.
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or
displeasing?
None
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Respondent skipped this question
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Make some of the sounds e.g the heart beep thingy a bit quieter
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the
general plot/feel of the film?
I was confused at the beginning but that was what made the
realisation better at the end of the film.
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
35. Q1: How would you rank this short film out of 10?
8
Q2: What did you like most about the film?
The general mood and the music. Some really nice shots, especially on the train. I love the bit
where the male lead suddenly disappears and then comes back with no reaction from Lua (I'm
assuming that's her name). The music goes really well with the edit and the mood.
Q3: What did you dislike about the film?
It could maybe be slightly shorter. Also, I don't know how realistic the death is at the end. I'm no
doctor but I thought the heartbeat sounded a little strange and you can still see her breathing a
little after she dies.
Q4: Please select the areas that you found errors in and/or displeasing?
Editing
Sound
Q5: If you ticked any of the above areas please expand
Editing: I found the gaps with no shots and no music distracting and unnecessarily long. I did,
however, like the bit where it fades to black and the music keeps playing.
Sound: As explained above.
Q6: Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
Nothing apart from what I have already mentioned. I really liked it.
Q7: Were you confused at any point or did you understand the general plot/feel of the film?
I understood the general plot of the film although I guess it's open to people's own
interpretation. That said, it was pretty obvious that Lua was dreaming (in colour) and died at the
end.
Q8: Would you recommend this film to a friend?
Yes
39. Average Rating
Mode: 8,10
Medium: 8
Mean: 8.3
The average rating for my film is very good,
this is a successful rating seeing as it is a
student film. Also 100% said they would
recommend my film to a friend! Hopefully I
will receive an even better respond once I
publish my film publicly.
40.
41.
42. My main concern was the coherency of the film,
and if the audience would understand the plot and
what the film is trying to portray. I asked the
audience if they were confused at any point during
the film and if they clearly understood the general
plot/feel of the film. All of the people said that
they did understand the film and that they weren’t
confused! Some people said that they had more
questions, this is not a worry because it is a
positive response to be left leaving more. Some
said that they only understood the plot towards
the end of the film, this is also ok because the film
is not meant to be predictable, it’s meant to have a
twist.
43.
44.
45. There were a lot of comments on
what was wrong and what can be
improved, this is a fantastic thing as
it means I have a lot of help and
guidance to improve my film. And
the feedback was given by my
target audience so hopefully once
I’ve made the changes it’ll appeal to
the right people.
