Teen Dating

Disclaimer
This teaching is notnot in any way telling you to marry
at a young age or promoting premature marriages.
It is our intent to assist you in understanding your
biblical role as a young lady in any relationship and
to help you understand the importance of remainingto help you understand the importance of remaining
sexually and relationally puresexually and relationally pure; not just for the sake
of being pure but for your husbandyour husband and GodGod.

Session OverviewSession Overview
• Identify what type of young womanwhat type of young woman God created you to be.
• To help you understand the importanceunderstand the importance of remaining
sexuallysexually and relationally purerelationally pure.
• To help you navigatehelp you navigate through the stuff and mess that
comes with relationships and sex.
• To give you a little gamegive you a little game about men, relationships, and
sex.

Section 1 ObjectiveSection 1 Objective
• To biblically establishbiblically establish the truth about you being created
for one manone man.
• To emphasize the importanceemphasize the importance of knowing that youyou were
created for your husbandyour husband.

Now that you’ve successfully completed
‘How To Choose The Right GuyHow To Choose The Right Guy’,
and we’ve given you a few things to look for in ato look for in a
youngyoung manman; it’s time to take it a step further and give you the truth
about what all comes with a relationshipwhat all comes with a relationship and what part you
play in them!

In Genesis,
the firstfirst book of the Bible,
we see God
making the firstfirst
manman and womanwoman,
Adam and Eve.
We can look at theirtheir lives
as the firstfirst humans and see
how God intended for usus to live,
even in 20132013.

‘…the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that
man should be alone; I will make himI will make him
a helpera helper comparable to himcomparable to him.’

‘And the LORD God caused a deep sleep
to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He
took one of his ribs, and closed
up the flesh in its place.’

‘Then the rib which the LORD God had
taken from man He made into a woman,
and He brought her to the man.’

‘And Adam said:
This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.’

You see when God created the firstfirst womanwoman,
He knew she’d be just perfectperfect for the firstfirst manman!
The same isThe same is truetrue for youfor you.

When God created you,
He created youyou for only one manone man.

The problem is that most young ladies
think they have to date a lot of young mena lot of young men
to find the right manthe right man; but future princess,
that’s just not truenot true.

‘HeHe who findswho finds a wifea wife finds a good thing,
and obtains favor from the LORD.’

…is suppose to findfind you!

A young ladyyoung lady,
particularly a daughter of Goda daughter of God,
a future Princess Rites of Passage Princessfuture Princess Rites of Passage Princess
is notis not suppose to be all loudall loud,
trying to get a guy’sget a guy’s attention!

Neither does she roll up on himroll up on him,
asking himhim for his numberhis number.

If you’ve been doing that…

But getting back to our lesson…

Pop Quiz
Since Monica is underunder 18, should she be
hooking up with 19-year-old Jaquan?
a. Yes, because he’s only 19.
b. Yes, because he’s cute and really likes her.
c. Yes, because guys her age act too young.
d. No, because if they have sex, he could be
charged with statutory rape.

Pop Quiz Answer
Since Monica is under 18, should she be
hooking up with 19-year old Jaquan?
a. Yes, because he’s only 19.
b. Yes, because he’s cute and really likes her.
c. Yes, because guys her age act too young.
d. No, because if they have sex, he could be
charged with statutory rape.

Sex clubSex club –
A club for teens where all the
teens meet regularly to
have sex with other people
in the same club.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Teen%20sex%20club&defid=5220252

Cherry poppin’ partyCherry poppin’ party –
A party that young women
go to to loose their virginity.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Teen%20sex%20club&defid=5220252

Ran-throughRan-through –
A woman that has had
sex with a lot of guys.
http://www.urbandictionary.com

Just To See What You Think
Discussion Question
Have you ever heard of a sex clubsex club? If so, what do
you think about those that participate?
a. Yes. I think they are fine because you know everyone in the
club; therefore, you know everyone is free from STD’s.
b. Yes. I think they participate to be popular.
c. No, I’ve never heard of a sex club.

Discussion Question
Have you ever heard of a ‘cherry poppin’ partycherry poppin’ party’’?
If so, why do you think the young ladies participate?
a. Yes, so they can loose their virginity with their friends.
b. Yes, so they can let everyone know they’re no longer virgins.
c. Yes, so they can be popular.
d. No, I’ve never heard of them.
e. Both a, b, and c.

Discussion Answer
Have you ever heard of a ‘cherry poppin’ partycherry poppin’ party’’?
If so, why do you think the young ladies participate?
a. Yes, so they can loose their virginity with their friends.
b. Yes, so they can let everyone know they’re no longer virgins.
c. Yes, so they can be popular.
d. No, I’ve never heard of them.
e. Both a, b, and c.

Discussion Question
Do you think that because Monica has had sex with
55 guys that she is a ‘ran-through‘ran-through’?
a. Yes, because 5 guys is a lot.
b. No, because nowadays 5 is average for someone 18.

Before we get started withBefore we get started with
the next section…the next section…
Let’s discuss what usuallyusually happens when
young ladies go off to college.

What usually happens whenWhat usually happens when teensteens
go off to college?go off to college?
Realizing that they’re GROWNGROWN.
Now independent and can come and gocan come and go as they please.
Have their own spaceown space and placeplace.
They meet differentmeet different and older guysolder guys.
PartyParty excessively.
Experiment sexuallyExperiment sexually.
Try different drugsdrugs.
DrinkDrink heavily.

• Discussion of what could happenwhat could happen when you go off
to college and become independent.
• To get a real-life example of how sexual partnershow sexual partners
add upadd up over time.

If MonicaMonica continues to have sex with 2 or2 or
moremore guys per year, how many guys will
she have had sex with beforebefore she
graduates college?
Pop Quiz

We’ll find out later. But for now….

FRESHMAN YEARFRESHMAN YEAR
Paul + Lil’ Moe = 2

SOPHOMORE YEARSOPHOMORE YEAR
Rodney + Jay + Percy + Vincent = 4

JUNIOR YEARJUNIOR YEAR
Richard + Big Omar = 2

SENIOR YEARSENIOR YEAR
Jose + Antonio = 2

By the time Monica graduates college,
she will have had sex with 1717 guysguys
and she’s justjust 2222.
Pop Quiz Answer

For the next eight (8) years after Monica graduates
college, she continued to have
premarital sex with at least 17 different men17 different men.

And that’s NOTNOT including the ones
she just went out on dates with.

Plus it doesn’t include the
she’s been with either.

Section Quiz Question
Why do you think Monica doesn’t want to tell her
fiancé’ that she’s been with 33 guys?
a. Because he’ll think she’s a ran-through and won’t want to
marry her.
b. Because she regrets having sex with all those men.
c. Both a and c.

Why do you think Monica doesn’t want to tell her
fiancé’ that she’s been with 33 guys?
a. Because he’ll think she’s a hoe and won’t want to marry her.
b. Because she regrets having sex with all those men.
c. Both a and c.
Section Quiz Answer

Discussion Question
Would you tell your fiance’ how many
guys you’ve been with?
a. Yes.
b. No.

Discussion Question
Do you think Monica regrets having
had sex with all those men?
a. Yes.
b. No.

Do you think Monica realized she’d been having
sex with as many guys as she had? If not, why?
a. Yes, but she didn’t care.
b. No, because if she did she probably wouldn’t have done it.
c. No, because she was only doing it with 2 guys a year which really doesn’t
seem like a lot.
d. Both b and c.

Section Quiz Answer
Do you think Monica realized she’d been having
sex with as many guys as she had? If not, why?
a. Yes, but she didn’t care.
b. No, because if she did she probably wouldn’t have done it.
c. No, because she was only doing it with 2 guys a year which really doesn’t
seem like a lot.
d. Both b and c.

Remember when Monica said, “I’mma get married one day to that one man but for right now I think I should date as many dudes as possible until I meet the right one.” Do you think she made the right decision?
a. Yes, because even though she slept with
30 men, she still met her husband.
b. No, because she didn’t realize at the time
she’d end up in bed with over 30 men.

Section Quiz Answer
Remember when Monica said, “I’mma get married one day to that one man but for right now I think I should date as many dudes as possible until I meet the right one.” Do you think she made the right decision?
a. Yes, because even though she slept with
30 men, she still met her husband.
b. No, because she didn’t realize at the time
she’d end up in bed with over 30 men.

Discussion Question
Do you think 33 is a lot of guys
to have had sex with?
a. Yes.
b. No.

• To get you to think criticallythink critically about your future
relationships.
• Identify some of the negativesnegatives of being in several
relationships.

If the 30-year-old30-year-old Monica could tell the
15-year-old15-year-old Monica anything, what do
you think she’d tell her?

She wasted 15 years15 years of having premarital sex
with 33 different men33 different men (not including womenwomen)
which meant she went through
15 years of mess15 years of mess!

And if youyou don’t start nownow young princess making
better choices, you’ll look back and remember
the unnecessary messthe unnecessary mess you went through.

See it’s notnot just about the sexjust about the sex Sweetie,
it’s about all the stuffstuff andand messmess
that comes withcomes with the sex.

Like…
the cheatingcheating, the lyinglying,
the money they borrowedmoney they borrowed and never paid back,
the argumentsarguments and fightsfights…

the confrontationsconfrontations with their ex-girlfriends…

the altercationsaltercations with their baby momma’s…

the drugs you triedthe drugs you tried because you were
trying to impress them…

the money you gavemoney you gave because you were
trying to prove you were their ride or die…

the phone bills you paidphone bills you paid so you could
know where they were…

the clothes you boughtclothes you bought so they
could look good for somebody else…

the hustles you pulledhustles you pulled to prove you were down…

the friends lost because
youyou didn’t believe he was cheatingcheating…

the other friends you lostother friends you lost
because he cheatedcheated on you with themwith them…

the relationships that were damagedrelationships that were damaged
because you put him before your family…

the self-esteemself-esteem
you lostyou lost because
of his verbal abuse…

the worthlessness you feltworthlessness you felt because they said
you’d never be anything…

the sexually transmitted diseasessexually transmitted diseases…

……and the dignity you’ll loosedignity you’ll loose from
doing things sexually that you said you’d never doyou’d never do.

God nevernever intended for you to be in severalseveral
relationshipsrelationships and have sex with aa
wholewhole lot of menlot of men.

He intendedintended for youfor you to have one relationship
and to have sex with the onethe one man
He created just for youjust for you!

He created just for youjust for you!

Do you think its possible to date a lot of
guys and not go through what we just
mentioned?
a. Yes.
b. No.
c. Kinda.

Of the ‘stuff/mess’ that was just mentioned, which
onesones bothered you the most?
Discussion Question

• To explain the difference between friendshipsdifference between friendships
and relationshipsrelationships.
• Discuss involuntary sexual relationshipsinvoluntary sexual relationships with
family members.

‘Greater love has no one than this,
than to lay down one’s own life for his friends.’

‘You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.’

According to the Bible a friendfriend is someone that
you would lay down your life for and vice versavice versa.

Not as in giving up your life,
but laying downlaying down your life to the point you would;
give goodgood advice, tell the truthtell the truth whether your friend can take it
or want to hear it or not, and always being
willing to do the right thing.willing to do the right thing.

Notice that Jesus says that you are HIS friends
ifif you do whatever HEHE commands you.
That’s realreal friendship!

A truetrue friendfriend doesn’tdoesn’t try to force and get you
- through peer pressurepeer pressure –
to do what theythey want you to do.

A true friendtrue friend is someone that does what
JesusJesus commands themthem to do.
And influences youyou to do the samethe same.

Let’s see this walked out in the Bible.

Some time later, this happened: Absalom,
David’s son, had a sister who was very attractive.
Her name was Tamar.
Amnon, also David’s son, was in love with her.

Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar
to the point of making himself sick over her.
She was a virgin, so he couldn’t see
how he could get his hands on her.

Amnon had a good friendgood friend, Jonadab, the son of David’s
brother Shimeah. Jonadab was exceptionally streetwise.

He said to Amnon, “Why are you moping around like
this, day after day—you, the son of the king!
Tell me what’s eating at you.”

What does 2 Samuel 13:3 tell you about Jonadab?
Discussion Question

What does ‘streetwise’ mean?
a. Someone who can squabble, knows the slang of the
street, and respects the ‘criminal world’s’ laws.
b. A homeless person.
c. None of the above.

Section Quiz Answer
What does ‘streetwise’ mean?
a. Someone who can squabble, knows the slang of the
street, and respects the ‘criminal world’s’ laws.
b. A homeless person.

Discussion Question
‘What do you think he meant when he said,
‘Why are you moping around like this, day after day
—you, the son of the king!’
Do you think he was hatin’?
Do you think he was kinda jealous?

Discussion Question
If he was hatin’ a little bit or if he was kinda jealous,
do you think this would have effect on
whatwhat he told Amnon to do?
If so, why?

“In a word, Tamar,” said Amnon.
“My brother Absalom’s sister. I’m in love with her.”

“Here’s what you do,” said Jonadab. “Go to bed and
pretend you’re sick. When your father comes to visit you,
say, ‘Have my sister Tamar come and prepare some supper
for me here where I can watch her and she can feed me.’”

What’s the first thing you noticed that’s wrong
with Jonadab’s advice?
a. That he didn’t ask Amnon what he thought he
should do first.
b. That it’s a lie.
d. All of the above.

Section Quiz Answer
What’s the first thing you noticed that’s wrong
with Jonadab’s advice?
a. That he didn’t ask Amnon what he thought he
should do first.
b. That it’s a lie.
d. All of the above.

A true friendtrue friend will nevernever tell you to lie!

Discussion Question
Do you think a real friend would tell his bro
how he can get with his half-sister?

Discussion Question
Remember, Amnon is a prince
- the son of the king.
So do you think Jonadab respectedrespected Amnon?
Do you think Jonadab was onlyonly Amnon’s friend
becausebecause he was a princeprince?

Discussion Question
Since we know that Jonadab doesn’tdoesn’t respect Amnon, do you
think he respects his fatherrespects his father – the king? If not, how can you
tell?
Hint: Because he would have never told him to involve his
father in the plan.
To help you better understand - This would
be the same as if a guy’s father is a cartel
drug kingpin and one of his son’s friends
tells him to try to get over on his father.

Discussion Question
Do you think Jonadab respect’srespect’s Amnon’s sister?
How many of you have sisters and brothers?
Would youyou let one of your friendsyour friends tell you
to do something like this?
If they did, what would youyou do?

So Amnon took to his bed and acted sick. When the king
came to visit, Amnon said,
“Would you do me a favor? Have my sister Tamar come
and make some nourishing dumplings here where I can
watch her
and be fed by her.”

David sent word to Tamar who was
home at the time: “Go to the house of your
brother Amnon and prepare a meal for
him.”

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house. She took
dough, kneaded it,
formed it into dumplings, and cooked them while he watched
from his bed.
But when she took the cooking pot and served him, he
wouldn’t eat.

Amnon said, “Clear everyone out of the house,”and they all cleared out. Then he said to
Tamar, “Bring the food into my bedroom, where we can eat in privacy.” She took the
nourishing dumplings she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon in his
bedroom. But when she got ready to feed him, he grabbed her and said,
“Come to bed with me, sister!”

No, brother!” she said, “Don’t hurt me!
This kind of thing isn’t done in Israel!
Don’t do this terrible thing! Where could I ever show
my face? And you—you’ll be out on the street in
disgrace. Oh, please!...”

But he wouldn’t listen.
Being much stronger than she, he raped her.

Discussion Question
According to the Lord Jesus,
‘Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down
one’s own life for. You are My friends if you
do whatever I command you.’
Do you think because Amnon did whatever Jonadabdid whatever Jonadab
commandedcommanded him to that he was a ‘real’ friend?
Why or why not?

Discussion Question
Again, according to the Lord Jesus,
one’s own life for. You are My friends if you
do whatever I command you.’
Do you think that because Amnon did whateverdid whatever
Jonadab commandedJonadab commanded him to that he gave inhe gave in to
peer pressure? Why or why not?

One aspect that we need to discuss
is what happenedwhat happened to Tamar.

Tamar was raped by her brotherbrother.

Today this is known as incest.

According to RAINN
(Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network),
incest1
is when ‘sexual contact occurs betweensexual contact occurs between
persons who are closely relatedpersons who are closely related.’
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault

Oftentimes the victim is told that what they are doing
happens in everyevery family and most often, the
victim doesn’tdoesn’t tell out of fearfear or
they feel as if theythey have done something wrong.
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault

But because many cases go
unreportedunreported,
there’s no way to know
how manyhow many young ladies have been
raped by their ownown
brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts,
or any other close family memberclose family member.

But let’s get back to Tamar.

No sooner had Amnon raped her than he hated her
—an immense hatred.
The hatred that he felt for her was greater than the
love he’d had for her.
“Get up,” he said, “and get out!”

Why do you think that immediately after
he’d gotten what he wanted that his
love turned to hate?
Discussion Question

Possibly because instead of allowing himself to feel
remorse or guilty for what he’d done; he immediately made her feelmade her feel as
if it were her faulther fault by
telling her to get out.
Possible Answer

“Oh no, brother,” she said. “Please!
This is an even worse evil than what you
just did to me!” But he wouldn’t listen to her.
He called for his valet. “Get rid of this woman. Get her out of my sight! And lock the door after her.” The valet threw her out and locked the
door behind her.

Discussion Question
Why do you think Tamar told her brother that
to put her out was worse than him raping her?

Because beforebefore this happened he made
her feel as if he loved herhe loved her.

Quite possibly whilewhile he was doing it,
he was telling her that the only reasononly reason he was
doing this to her was because he loved her.

Which in a odd sort of way, could have
caused her to not fight back as much;
but she in no wayno way
WANTEDWANTED or CONSENTEDCONSENTED to it.

Maybe she got tiredgot tired and stopped fighting and resisting as much,
which made him feel as if he was justified
in what he was doing; he probablyprobably thoughtthought that since
she wasn’t fighting him back as much, that she
was probably enjoying it and quite possibly
felt the same way about him.

But that wasn’twasn’t true!

AfterAfter it was over, instead of feeling badfeeling bad or guiltyguilty for
what he’d done, because she’d stop fighting and resisting;
he immediatelyimmediately made her feel as if it were her faulther fault
by telling her to ‘get outget out’.

When he did that, she might have felt as if his hatredhis hatred
was worse than the actual rape;
because after all, he’d been telling her he
loved her the entire time.

She was wearing a long-sleeved gown.
(That’s how virgin princesses used to dress from
early adolescence on.)
Tamar poured ashes on her head, then she ripped
the long-sleeved gown, held her head in her
hands, and walked away, sobbing as she went.

What was Tamar’s initial response?
What was the firstfirst thing she did
afterafter this happened?
Discussion Question

She poured ashes on her headpoured ashes on her head and rippedripped the long-sleeved gown.

In those times, this would have meant that she was letting
know that she was no longer a virginno longer a virgin.

This means that Tamar
actually reportedreported what happened to her.

She could havecould have left her long-sleeved princess gown
on and did nothing; but Tamar was actually braveTamar was actually brave
enough to let everyoneeveryone know!

Her brother Absalom said to her,
“Has your brother Amnon had his way with you?
Now, my dear sister, let’s keep it quiet—alet’s keep it quiet—a
family matterfamily matter. He is, after all, your brother.
Don’t take this so hard.” Tamar lived in her
brother Absalom’s home, bitter and desolate.

Because she lived with her brother, HEHE told
her notnot to say anything and oftentimes, this is
what happens to victims of incest.

They telltell someone close to themsomeone close to them which is
usually someone in the familysomeone in the family and
depending upon howhow that person is looked
upon – within the familywithin the family – determines
whether or not any outside reporting goes on.

Because Tamar had an
involuntary sexual relationshipinvoluntary sexual relationship
with her half-brother.

Speaking of which, let’s find out
what happened to AmnonAmnon.

King David heard the whole story
and was enraged, but he didn’tdidn’t discipline Amnon.
David doted on him because he was his
firstborn. Absalom quit speaking to Amnon
—not a word, whether good or bad—
because he hated him for violating
his sister Tamar.

Two years went by.
One day Absalom threw a
sheep-shearing party…

Absalom prepared a banquet fit for a king.
Then he instructed his servants, “Look sharp, now.
When Amnon is well into the sauce and
feeling no pain, and I give the order
‘Strike AmnonStrike Amnon,’ kill himkill him.

Absalom’s servants did to Amnon exactly
what their master ordered….
a rumor came to the king:
“Absalom just killed all the king’s sons
—not one is left!” The king stood up,
ripped his clothes to shreds,
and threw himself on the floor.

Just then, JonadabJonadab, his brother Shimeah’s son,
stepped up. “My master must not think that all
the young men, the king’s sons, are dead.
Only Amnon is dead.
This happened because of Absalom’s outrage
since the day that Amnon violated his sister Tamar.
So my master, the king, mustn’t
make things worse than they are, thinking
that all your sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead.”

Notice whowho told the king about Amnon being dead?

….his supposedsupposed good ‘‘friendfriend’ Jonadab!

…the samesame one who told Amnon how
he could rape his sister…

the samesame one who told Amnon toto
disrespectdisrespect and involveinvolve his father
-the king –
-in the first place!

Now his good ‘friendfriend’ is alive and calling the king -
the man he disrespected - ‘master’.

Jonadab, Amnon’s good ‘friend’Amnon’s good ‘friend’ is telling
King David why his sonwhy his son, Prince Absalom,
had his other son Prince Amnon killed.

The onlyonly thing is that he failedfailed to report was
that hehe told Amnon how to go about raping his
daughter, Princess Tamar, in the first place.

SECTION REVIEW
one’s own life for his friends. You are My friends if you do
whatever I command you.’
A true friendtrue friend doesn’t try to forceforce and get you - through peer
pressure – to do what theythey want you to do.
A true friendtrue friend is one that does what Jesus commands them toJesus commands them to
dodo and influences you to doinfluences you to do the samethe same.
REMEMBER…..

SECTION REVIEW
Don’tDon’t follow the advice of hatershaters or jealousjealous people.
A true friendtrue friend will nevernever tell you to lie.
A real friend respects youreal friend respects you and your familyyour family and wouldn’twouldn’t
tell you to do something that would hurt them.
Don’tDon’t have sex with anyonewith anyone other than your husband;
that includesincludes with family members.
Not all familiesNot all families have sex with each othersex with each other or keep it in the family.
If youyou were raped and have continued to have sex
with a family member know that its notnot your fault.
Be braveBe brave like Tamar and tell someone if they try or
if its already happened.
You can especially talk to Ms. Felecia about it!You can especially talk to Ms. Felecia about it!

Section 5 Objective
• To help you identify the differenceidentify the difference between ‘guy‘guy
friends’friends’ and ‘friends with benefitsfriends with benefits’.
• To help you understand the benefits of waitingunderstand the benefits of waiting
for the ‘one’ young man that God made for you.
• For you to see the differenceto see the difference between what
happens with the guy that’s for you verses the guy
that’s not.

Are we saying that you should never;Are we saying that you should never;
hold a conversation with a young man,
give out your phone number, or
hang out with young men?

There’s nothing wrongnothing wrong with having guyguy
friendsfriends WITHOUTWITHOUT benefitsbenefits.

But do you know what a guyguy friendfriend is?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
2
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friendship
RelationshipRelationship
an emotional or other
connection between people;
a romantic or passionate attachment.
Emotional/romantic attachmentEmotional/romantic attachment
physical desire for someone and
the inability to release or do
without that person.

Friends With Benefits –Friends With Benefits – Two friends
who have a sexual relationship
without being emotionally involved.
Typically two good friends
who have casual sex without
a monogamous relationship
or any kind of commitment
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=friends+with+benefits

A guy friendguy friend is someone you treat like your
female friends or bff; only he’s a malehe’s a male
and doesn’tdoesn’t necessarily have to be gay.

But there’s a differencedifference between a guyguy and a..

Junior always asks Diamond questions
about the assignments and she sometimes gives
him the answers on the quizzes.

They speak to each other
in the hallways
and sometimes they sit
together on the bus.

Junior likes Diamond’s cousin, Simone.
But she doesn’t like him; so over time, Jr. and Diamond
start talking more and more until one day…

They kisskiss.
But Diamond has ahas a
boyfriendboyfriend so Junior
tells her that they’ll
just be…

Benefits like kissingkissing and other sexual activitiessexual activities
reserved for…

According to the Bible definition of
‘‘friend’friend’, does this qualify as a ‘friendship‘friendship’’?
Why or why not?
a. Yes, because they both are in other relationships so
technically they are just friends.
b. No, because a friend is someone that would do what
Jesus tells them to; and kissing and having sex with
someone other than your husband is not something
that Jesus would tell you to do.
‘Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s own life for his friends.
You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.’ – John 15:13, 14
A true friend doesn’t try to force and get you - through peer
pressure - to do what they want you to do.
A true friend is one that does what Jesus commands them to do.

What is the difference in a ‘guy friendguy friend’
and a ‘friend with benefits‘friend with benefits’?
a. A guy friend is someone you don’t have sex
with and a friend with benefits is someone that
you do.
b. A friend with benefits is someone you just
hang out with and have sex with every now
and then.
c. A and B

Section Quiz Answer
What is the difference in a guy friend
and a friend with benefits?
a. A guy friend is someone you don’t have sex
with and a friend with benefits is someone that
you do.
b. A friend with benefits is someone you just
hang out with and have sex with every now
and then.
c. A and B

Discussion Question
Has a guy every tried to be youryour friend with benefits?
Do you know of anybodyyou know of anybody
who is in one of these ‘friendships‘friendships’?
Do you think there’s anything wrong with them?

To give you another example of why its important
notnot to be in a lot of relationships,
especially ‘friends with benefits’ is because…..

It’s sorta like when you have your prom dressprom dress made.

You pick out the materialpick out the material and a seamstress
takes your measurementstakes your measurements and makes
the dress – just for youjust for you!

God did the same for you when
He created your husbandyour husband.
Your husbandYour husband has been tailor-madetailor-made
just for youjust for you
and he’s only oneonly one that fits.

What we mean by ‘‘fitsfits’’ is that
he’she’s the only oneonly one that;
understands you,
likes being around you, and
the only oneonly one that can
put up with you!

When you see people jump in and out of
relationships, what you’re seeing is the result of
being with someone that doesn’t fitsomeone that doesn’t fit –
someone that wasn’twasn’t tailor made for themfor them.

For example…
Your husbandYour husband enjoysenjoys the way you chew your gum;
but ole boyole boy you just met can’t stand itcan’t stand it.

Your husbandYour husband wants to be
with you all the time.
Ole boy hardly ever respondshardly ever responds
to your text.

Your husband can handle your attitudeshandle your attitudes.
Ole boy can’t dealcan’t deal with it.

Your husband wants to be with only youwants to be with only you.
Ole boy gets with his exgets with his ex every now and then.

See if you’d waitwait for your husbandyour husband
and stop wearing the wrong-size guyswrong-size guys,
you could avoid argumentsarguments, fightsfights, heartbreakheartbreak,
and the other stuffstuff and messmess we just discussed!

Why did God create only one man for you?
a. Because He knew I’d be perfect for just one man.
b. Because He doesn’t want me to have any fun.
c. Because He wants me to be in love with one man
and not have to got through a lot of mess.
d. Both a and c.
e. All of the above.

Section Quiz Answer
Why did God create only one man for you?
a. Because He knew I’d be perfect for just one man.
b. Because He doesn’t want me to have any fun.
c. Because He wants me to be in love with one man
and not have to got through a lot of mess.
d. Both a and c.

Why do you think you wontwont get along with guys
who aren’taren’t made for you?
a. Because they won’t be able to understand me.
b. Because they won’t take the time to get to know me.
c. Because they are supposed to be with the one God
created for them.
d. Both a and c.

Section Quiz Answer
Why do you think you wont get along with guys
who aren’t made for you?
a. Because they won’t be able to understand me.
b. Because they won’t take the time to get to know me.
c. Because they are supposed to be with the one God
created for them.
d. Both a and c.

You meet a really cute guy and y’all seem to be
getting along. The only problem is that
when you try to talk about what you like,
he changes the subject and starts talking
about him. What do you do?
a. Stay with him because he’s really cute.
b. Tell him maybe y’all should be friends.
c. Leave him alone.
Discussion Question

FYI
Don’t expect young men to sit and listen to yousit and listen to you
tell them all the details of your day and turn around
and get upset when you find out
they really weren’t paying attentionthey really weren’t paying attention.
Men aren’t made that wayMen aren’t made that way.

Section 6 Objective
• To look at celebrity couples and give your honesthonest
opinion of their relationshipopinion of their relationship.
• To test your knowledgetest your knowledge of what you’ve learned
about relationships so far.

Based upon what you’ve just learned
about RELATIONSHIPS,
what do you think about the
following celebrity relationships?

Session Overview Questions
Of the entire session onOf the entire session on
‘‘RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU’,RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU’,
1.Name 55 things you learned.
2.Name at least 33 things about relationships that you
didn’t know.
3.Do you think you’ll look at guys differentlyyou’ll look at guys differently now?
If so, why?
4.What are you going to do differentlygoing to do differently as a result
of watching this presentation?

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