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Reboot Podcast #29 - Who's in Your Corner? - with Carrie Barry

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Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner
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Today’s episode is brought to you by Justworks. Justworks helps businesses take ca...
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take the blow, stay down or get up. Losing my mom was a major blow, but I now hold...
Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner
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Jerry: I like that. I like that. You have a few sayings in boxing; which I’m going...
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Reboot Podcast #29 - Who's in Your Corner? - with Carrie Barry

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Carrie Barry has had her own great challenges to overcome, including real struggles at home that forced her to leave at the age of 12 and strike out on her own. She’s proven resilient, stitching the struggles of her past into the fabric of her being and choosing to appreciate and utilize that pain into the work she does today. Carrie Barry is former Olympic Boxer and entrepreneur who owns and runs a boxing gym in Boulder where people come to break a sweat, get a hug, and learn some valuable life lessons. She also happens to be, in a twist, a boxing coach for 2 of Reboot’s finest: Jerry and Ali. Join Jerry in getting a little coaching, and a lot of inspiration in this conversation with Carrie Barry.

Carrie Barry has had her own great challenges to overcome, including real struggles at home that forced her to leave at the age of 12 and strike out on her own. She’s proven resilient, stitching the struggles of her past into the fabric of her being and choosing to appreciate and utilize that pain into the work she does today. Carrie Barry is former Olympic Boxer and entrepreneur who owns and runs a boxing gym in Boulder where people come to break a sweat, get a hug, and learn some valuable life lessons. She also happens to be, in a twist, a boxing coach for 2 of Reboot’s finest: Jerry and Ali. Join Jerry in getting a little coaching, and a lot of inspiration in this conversation with Carrie Barry.

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Reboot Podcast #29 - Who's in Your Corner? - with Carrie Barry

  1. 1. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 1 of 17 Today’s episode is brought to you by Justworks. Justworks helps businesses take care of their benefits, their healthcare, payroll and HR. It’s just that simple. We use it and absolutely love it here at Reboot. Grow your business and not your busy work. Get Justworks. Learn more and to learn how we use it at Reboot, go to Reboot.io/justworks. Alumni of our CEO and Cofounder bootcamps often use two words to describe their experience; “life changing.” Our 2016 bootcamp dates can be found at reboot.io/bootcamps. Our cofounder bootcamp this year will be March 2nd through the 6th and applications are open now. For more details on this and our 2016 CEO bootcamps, including our CEO bootcamp in Italy, view the full 2016 bootcamp calendar at reboot.io/bootcamps. ** “And yet, I have a theory too, that our strength and our resiliency as a human being doesn’t come merely from being able to celebrate the wins, but to also honor and recognize what the challenges were, and whether or not we “overcame” them.” Welcome to the Reboot podcast. “Life doesn’t run away from nobody. Life runs at people.” – Joe Frazier I remember it like it was yesterday, it was a dreary, autumn, Ohio day; the kind of day when you just want to lay around and do nothing. My girlfriend, who is now my wife, and I were driving to visit a family member of hers, and we were arguing; I have no idea what the argument was about, but I do remember feeling frustrated, and annoyed and just wanting to turn the car around. And then my phone rang, and my heart sank. My mom had been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer for almost a year at that point and regretfully, I had just assumed it wasn’t a big deal. She was young, 51, incredibly active, healthy, took really good care of herself. I had thought we would be through it in a year, I figured that it was treatable, and I think my mom did too. The call was from her fiancé Tom, which was immediately terrifying. When I got on the line and realized he had conferenced my sister in, it was exponentially more terrifying. I felt my heart race in the pit of my stomach. “Andrea, Dan, your mom had a seizure last night.” The lump in my throat restricted my breath. I felt short on air as I watched the traffic lines go by. “They’re running more tests, but it appears the cancer has spread to her brain.” The final words were a giant blow to my gut. My world flipped upside down. I don’t remember the rest of that drive and I don’t remember the rest of that day, but I do remember dropping everything, moving home to be with my mom. She passed away two months after that call, on December 18th, 2005; ten years ago, this Friday. I miss her every day. We don’t get to choose the things that happen to us. We don’t get to choose the things that happen to our loved ones either, but we do get to choose how we live with those things, how we
  2. 2. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 2 of 17 take the blow, stay down or get up. Losing my mom was a major blow, but I now hold a deep appreciation for how much that pain is stitched into the fabric of my life today. I had anger, I had frustration, I had deep sadness, but I also felt deep love and inspiration to do more, to feel more, to be more. That inspiration carried me to where I am in Reboot, who I am as a father and husband; and I’m so grateful for it. Our podcast guest today had her own great challenges, including real struggles at home that forced her to leave at the age of 12 and strike out on her own. She stitched those struggles into the fabric of her being, choosing to appreciate and utilize that pain into her work today. Carrie Barry joins the podcast to talk about her past from leaving home at 12, becoming an Olympic boxer and ultimately and entrepreneur who owns and runs a boxing gym in Boulder; where people come to break a sweat, get a hug and learn some valuable life lessons. She also happens to be, in a twist, a boxing coach for two of Reboot’s finest; Jerry and Ali. Join Jerry in getting a little coaching and a lot of inspiration in this conversation with Carrie Barry. Jerry Colonna: Hey Carrie, how are you? Carrie Barry: Great Jerry, how are you doing? Jerry: Good, good. Thank you so much for joining us on the podcast here, and before we sort of dive in, why don’t you just take a moment, introduce yourself and the company and your co-founder and tell us a little bit about who you are. Carrie: Definitely. First, thanks for having me, this is awesome to get to do this. So I have The Corner Boxing Club that is cofounded with my wife Kirsten in June of 2014. So, we have been open a little over a year-and-a-half now. We’re close to – actually we’re over 100 members. We’re up to like, 110 as of this morning in beautiful Boulder, Colorado. Jerry: Yeah, and we should add that this is a little bit different for us because as an entrepreneur, you’re not a venture back tech entrepreneur, but you and Kirsten have opened a really special place, and I know firsthand because I’m not just a spokesperson. I’m a client. And in fact, even this morning Carrie kicked my butt in a good workout this morning and I was huffing and puffing and I have to be honest with you Carrie, what I kept saying as you were pushing me harder and harder this morning, that I was going to get you back today. Carrie: No problem, I believe that you are on my calendar for next week so – Jerry: That’s right. Carrie: – I always get the last laugh. We have a saying at boxing. ‘Be first and be last.’ So just make sure that happens.
  3. 3. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 3 of 17 Jerry: I like that. I like that. You have a few sayings in boxing; which I’m going to get to in a few minutes, but – so yeah, so here you are, you and your wife opened a boxing gym. Carrie: In Boulder, which everybody is like, “Oh, how does that work in Boulder, Colorado?” Because you know, people imagine the Rocky movies and that grid and everything and I’m like, boxing attracts all likes, all types and it’s a beautiful sport, so everybody can gain from it. And we have you know, all likes and all locks in Boulder, so – Jerry: Well, you know, tell us a little bit about your story. I mean, you’re mid-thirties, I won’t name names – name ages, but boxing, how did you get into boxing? Carrie: I grew up in the Rocky movie era and always was a fan of the sport, loved the sport and didn’t actually know that I could compete until I tore my left ACL in my senior high school; and I used boxing as part of my rehab because I was going to be playing collegiate sport; and found out I was pretty good at it, and got to start competing and got on the US team and got to travel the world, which was something that I would have never been able to do growing up in Detroit, I just didn’t have the means. Through the sports, I discovered a family and a community and just opened up a lot of doors for me. Jerry: So, we know each other kind of well; when you sweat together, you kind of get to know each other right? And – Carrie: Definitely. Jerry: – you know, in the podcast, people can’t see it, but I just wrote a word down, “Family.” Carrie: Yeah. Jerry: Yeah, that’s a big word for you, isn’t it? Carrie: It’s a huge word for me. So, you know, growing up in Detroit, you know, my parents divorced when I was younger, and I moved out when I was 12 from my mother’s home; and kind of every six months, lived with different families. That was my own version of my startup, every six months, and learning to live with different people and going through those emotional dynamics of being brought into somebody else’s family and then, you know, seeing what would happen and then moving on to a new family. So that was an interesting experience and I guess, you know, I’m always being looking for that feeling and you know, most people see on the outside of the sport of boxing, they see, you know, the drama and all that and then the pro-fighting role and it’s very different than the amateur world. You know, we’re a community and we take care of each other. I used to joke that the other coaches were my aunts and my uncles and my competitors
  4. 4. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 4 of 17 were my siblings because we literally would fight physically and, you know, but we’re good friends outside of the ring and you know, my personal boxing coach Basheer Abdullah, who’s a four-time Olympian, you know, he’s the closest individual as a father figure that I have and he’s someone that I lean onto and you know, send “Love you” texts to and check in with him so – Jerry: You know, I’ll tell you something which – I don’t know if I’ve ever shared with you, but I’ll share it. You know, we’ve talked a little bit about my own history of growing up with a lot of violence and really, but also coming into adulthood not really feeling comfortable in my own body, not really learning that I have an innate athleticism, and about 14 years ago, as many people listening to the podcasts know, as I sort of explored my own – well, with no choice, dealt with my own depression and really dove into that. One of the things I did was I came to a new relationship with my body, and I came to understand my body in a really powerful and important way. And in coming to a relationship with my body, I found a way out of the depression and I say this because when I moved to Boulder, which was just recently and, you know, folks like my partner, Ali Schultz here at Reboot and David Mandell, CEO of PivotDesk, all said, “You’ve got to meet Carrie. You’ve got to go to The Corner Boxing Club.” And I was actually intimidated walking in. I think I used to joke that your wife Kirsten intimidates me. She still does. No, I’m just kidding. Well but – Carrie: [Crosstalk] intimidated you the most I think and he’s the nicest of us all. Jerry: That’s right, that’s right, Khusumo do really, really intimidate me but the thing that you did from the minute I walked in, do you – I don’t know if you know this, but you hugged me. Carrie: Mmm. 50 a day. It’s a good dose. Jerry: And that’s what I noticed is that you walk in and everybody is hugging each other, and not like two fighters collapsing onto each other. What – and you know, whatever Ruperto Duran say, “No mas, no mas.” Carrie: Yeah. Jerry: But in a kind of like, “I don’t care if you’re fit, I don’t care if you fit somebody else’s notion of who you should be, I don’t care if you think of yourself as a boxer, I don’t care if you think of yourself as an athlete. You are welcome. That – tell me. Carrie: It’s so important. I mean, it’s – and I’ll [Inaudible 0:12:22] you, before boxing, I didn’t really hug. I was very, you know, tight to myself emotionally, physically, everything in my expression and boxing really opened me up to be able to – I mean, me and my super heavy weight, he’s a 6’6’’ Russian, blonde engineer. We both joke that before boxing, we were tough guys, and now we can’t even watch a
  5. 5. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 5 of 17 little kiddie video on YouTube without, you know, dropping a couple of tears because it lets you be comfortable with your soft side and lets you, you know, open up to other people and be vulnerable because you have the confidence that, yeah, it’s okay to be vulnerable like it. You know, but I’m strong too, and you get to have those two sides and you know, after a match, the first thing we do normally with my opponent is we embrace. We give each other hugs, we go over to the opposing coaches, we give each other hugs. I mean, it’s a part of that. You know, camaraderie that we have with each other, and I feel like it’s so important when we welcome people into ‘The Corner’ that we think – truly feel like they can be a part of our community and that they belong. I have a great mentor into the physical sciences and the coaching, my background is originally in sports medicine and physical therapy and you know, play coach mate, every person that I meet, every child, every adult, they all are players, they’re all athletes in their own individual, unique way. Everybody is a coach. I mean, and they can all be a leader. They have something to share and teach others and everybody is a teammate, meaning they can inspire, motivate the people around them. And that’s something that I want to, you know, teach others and show them that they have that within themselves, no matter what age or gender, or you know, background. Jerry: So you know, you’re saying it so well and you know, I just – I hear your innate leadership coming out, but I also hear that innate connectedness to your own heart and I recognize that for you, that wasn’t always the case that there was, you know, I mean, you just casually dropped it. A little bit of a psychological bomb, right? “Yeah, I moved out of my mother’s house when I was 12.” You were 12. 12. Carrie: Yeah, and people have that reaction and for me it’s like, yeah, I was 12 but it doesn’t hold but, there was a learning curve that you know, was accelerated for me, about being able to be connected with other people, you know. I had to learn how to live with different types of individuals and different families and you know, pick up on, you know, physical cues and emotional cues really fast, and that took me time. In the beginning, one of the reasons why I moved so often is that my response to picking up on those cues was to shut down and kind of close myself up from what I saw happening within the family dynamics and knowing to go down that road, but you know, I tried – I cut myself off to try to stop that from progressing, not realizing well that’s not my cause. That was just things that were being brought up that were already there within the family. Jerry: What sorts of things were there in the family? Because you know, it’s Jerry. We’re going to go there. Carrie: Yeah, right. You know, sometimes the simplest thing is – I’m a new person in the family. They always had the best of intentions of bringing me in and this was going to be the family that was going to make the change for me and really I was going to get to be a part of it, but then someone would get jealous, because Carrie was getting some sort of attention, or this or that would happen and that would change that relationship dynamics. I would start to notice that and then that might
  6. 6. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 6 of 17 carry over to another relationship within the family. So I would just pull back. You know, or maybe if I’m not, you know, not myself, I would start getting the attention from the person that’s, you know, maybe the part of the jealousy. So – Jerry: And what would happen to you as a result to that? Carrie: Oh, I wouldn’t deal with, you know, I wasn’t able to at that young age, to recognize that this isn’t me ao that you get – that guilt would come about, you know, that I am the one causing this. Jerry: Right. Carrie: Now as an adult, and I’m going through my own experiences of life, I can recognize that it wasn’t me. I might have been some sort of marker for it to bring it out, but it wasn’t me. It was already there. So – and hopefully, you know, looking back, those families will either recognize that through time, I don’t know, but I know for myself, I have been able to recognize that; which I’m very grateful that I had people be able to help me through those, through my adult life. Jerry: Right, right, and you know that part of your adult journey included time in the army. Carrie: Yes. Jerry: Right. Tell me a little bit about that. Carrie: I went in – actually, I had started training boxing with the army’s boxing team. I had always wanted to live in Colorado. I love Colorado. I came out here in my senior year and through life, and opportunity, landed up in Kansas [Inaudible 0:17:18] and I had a chance to come out here to Colorado Springs and train at the Olympic training center, and then with the army coach Abdullah’s team. I was still civilian at that time, but I had permission. In 2009, when they announced women’s boxing was going to be an Olympic sport, first person I called on the phone was Coach Abdullah. I said, what are they going to do? Are they going to bring in females and all for the team? And he was like, well, I’m not sure. I’m like, well would they bring me on if I commit, because I was, you know, the number one in the US in my weight class and he’s – he got all excited and went back, asked to come in, he came back and said, come in. They want to bring you in. So that’s how I ended up getting into the army and it was an interesting, maturing experience for me. You know, I was 29 at the time, and when I found out my drill sergeant was younger than me, that was pretty interesting. And actually, I had a couple of moments where I locked up my own – he was a mentor to my own drill sergeant but – or one of my drill sergeants, but that experience and that camaraderie that I gained and just learning to work those dynamics, it’s a long conversation there, but through that experience, I really do believe that every person whose able-bodied, and able-minded should serve because there’s so much
  7. 7. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 7 of 17 to gain from that experience of respect and working together and there’s a lot of good that can come up out from that. It’s a giant team. Jerry: So it’s another sense of a family, isn’t it? Carrie: Exactly. That’s exactly it, the camaraderie, and that’s why you see so many – why it’s so good for lost kids to go into the army and you hear these stories of kids that barely made it through bootcamp, because they got in so much trouble and then 15-20 years down the line, they’re master sergeants or command sergeant majors and it changes their life because they find those anchors and that responsibility and the being uplifted, you know, and being rewarded for the good; which they never had when they were younger. Jerry: So what I’m sensing is, and we’ve talked about this before because one of the podcasts I know you listened to was, the conversation I had with Tanisha Robinson who has that printing company in Ohio, and we talked then a lot about a sense of belonging, and creating a company where the sense of belonging was really powerful. She, quite beautifully linked it to what she described as being hyper-marginalized, you know, in a sense, taking what was a wound and turning it into something, you know, what I would like to call a superpower. Carrie: Yeah. Jerry: And you know, I see you, I know you, I love you and I can see something similar going on. Carrie: Yes, that’s right. Jerry: Am I right in that? Carrie: Oh, for sure. That’s why I’m in the profession of coaching. It’s why I love to teach. I was going to go and be a history teacher at first when I went to [Inaudible 0:20:25] University and then I discovered sports medicine and that we’re able to help people through physical wounds and then I learned more about it that it’s more than the physical, it’s an emotional wound that comes with that and through the sport of boxing, I’m able to do both. I’m being able to help people through physical, emotional wounds, I’m able to teach them something that’s a very valuable art whether they are doing it just for health like yourself, or like Leo who’s aspiring to be an Olympian. It’s powerful. The reason why we call it The Corner Boxing Club, it’s not because we’re on the corner. It kind of drives me, I wish we were on the corner street, but we aren’t, but it is because what the corner of the ring, that red and blue corner that you see where athletes start the rounds and then come back to, it’s a place that we always come back to between rounds. It’s a place where we have support, we have rejuvenation. You get the kick in the ass that you need, and that’s what I want to – our space to kind of, encompass and be, is that place that you always come back to and you find what you need; not so
  8. 8. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 8 of 17 sound like the Cheers theme song, but that’s what we really wanted. And that even comes down to the – our logo, the icon, you’re actually – it looks like wings but you’re also looking into the corner of the ring. Jerry: Well, you know, I’ve – I don’t know that people realize that that’s what the phrase so – “Having somebody in your corner” really means. It means literally when life is kicking the shit out of you, and you can barely open your eyes because you’ve been beaten, and you look over your shoulder and somebody is wiping your brow or putting their arm around you, and telling you either, keep going or you’re done. Carrie: Yeah, and even when you are having the good round, when things are so going good that people are there to give you a pat you on the back like, “Good job.” You know, too often we don’t, you know, recognize that oh, we get that jealousy or that guy’s doing good or, they still need, they – keep them moving because yeah, they may be doing good at that one thing that you’re seeing, but there’s other areas, you know, that they might not. So you need to always, whether the ups and the downs, you need to always recognize that and you know, hold onto it. You know, I always tell people, they’re like, how are you doing? I’m like I’m doing wonderful. You know, I live in a beautiful place, I have a beautiful company, a beautiful wife, you know, but I also recognize life has its up and downs and I’m storing up these memories right now, and all these good times to be able to hold me through if we go through a rough patch because that’s a part of life, and that’s something that I kind of accept. But you know, and even during that rough part, I’m going to learn. You know, that’s always going to be my focus, and that’s kind of learned from boxing; because yeah, I would – I had lost and people were like, wow, what’s your record? I honestly have no clue. I had 150 competitor bouts. My attitude in the moment when I was a competitor was, the only thing that mattered was my next bout. You know, if I won the next bout. Now that I’m a coach, I wish I had enjoyed the wins more and taken that into the ring with me and you know, had that confidence and not put so much pressure on myself about the next one. You know what I mean? I wanted to actually carry that, you know, being the champion that I was, but now I know that now as a coach to be able to instill that in my athletes and the people that I work with. Jerry: Right, right. I know that your impulse is always were positive, and yet, I have a theory too that our strength and our resiliency as a human being doesn’t come merely from being able to celebrate the wins, or to also honor and recognize what the challenges were and whether or not we “overcame” them, those losses if you will, and you know, I can only begin to imagine what it must have been like to move from family to family, looking for a sense of belonging only to be thrust out in one form or another, either in actuality or emotionally. Carrie: Yeah, it was painful. It – I don’t know, there was some really dark – I mean, all the way through college, you know, even once I started competing, you know, there were some tough moments in my life, you know, trying to find myself,
  9. 9. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 9 of 17 trying to figure out, you know, the victim mode, if you will or whatever you want to label it as [Crosstalk] Jerry: I don’t think of it as a victim to recognize that you have had loss. Carrie: Yeah. Jerry: But go ahead, I’m sorry. Carrie: Yeah, no, no, but just being able to recognize why is this happening, and now of course, retrospectively, I can look back and see, well this is why it happened. This is what exactly – every piece of me is made up of all of that. That’s the cloth of me. That’s why I can have the attitude I have now, is that I’d been through some lows and being able to recognize that. But also those lows make me enjoy the ups that I have right now you know, and prepare for anything else that can come in the future. Here’s a scenario, looking at each other the other day and just talking about what’s going on, we just bought a home and you know, our business is doing well and we’re doing amazing things in our community, you know, we’re able to focus more on what we want to do in the community, we’re starting our 501(c)(3), you know and we’re just like, we have such a great life. We have wonderful people in our life and it’s because we can recognize that. We’ve both been through some downs and some hard parts and we couldn’t recognize and really value those relationships and invest in them and invest in our own relationship with each other and not take it for granted. Jerry: Yeah, I mean, if I can make an observation, I think there’s a direct link between the life that you have created for yourselves through this business and your willingness to open your arms 50 times a day and hug, Carrie: Yeah. Jerry: You know. It’s like, your there and you know, you just made reference to your 501(c)(3), I know that there’s this profound commitment the two of you have to giving back; whether it’s, you know, I mean, we were joking even this morning that there was a pile of wraps, hand wraps in the corner, and I said, who’s getting punished by having to sort through that entire massive pile? And the truth is there are kids who come in, who find family, don’t they at The Corner Boxing Club? Carrie: Yeah, we have, you know, we work with the IMPACT Boulders’ Diversion Program and their Probation Program and we have our Family Learning Center which is another non-profit that – those are elementary age kids that come in that we’re hoping never end up in diversion or probation. That’s really my goal there and just as high school, which is a juvi, last chance type of high school and then I have my Parkinson’s group that comes in on Saturday mornings and program accompaniers and Phoenix Multisport which is a super active community. I mean, there are so many different groups and different pieces of our community that
  10. 10. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 10 of 17 we’re able to help either by giving space or giving time; and for me that’s so important. Jerry: Why? Why is it so important? Carrie: Because I have a – first, you know, just look at it from the company side. I have a company that profits off of my community, and it just – to me, I’m making profit off of Boulder it makes sense to do something to improve Boulder beyond what my company does, you know, find those little extra pieces. But also, it’s a drive that I have to. If I didn’t do something of value, that’s when I get anxious. That’s when I get depression or anxiety because I’m not doing anything that I feel that is changing my community. Tuesdays with Morrie, which is one of my favorite books, I’ll probably misquote her right now, but essentially there is a quote in there that says, “If you want to give meaning to your life, devote yourself to your community, to loving others and to creating something that gives you meaning and purpose.” And I actually have “Devoção” tattooed on my left fore-arm so that when I hug people, I don’t know if you guys know this, when I hug you, sometimes I can peek over if it’s a shorter person, not you, and I can read that, Devoção. Jerry: So say it again slowly, Devi-sao? Carrie: Devoção. It means devotion in Portuguese. So it’s just my own reminder to myself why I do what I do, you know, I’m giving myself, my life that meaning and that purpose that when I was younger, I was trying to find. What – why is this – why am I here? Why am I going through the things I’m going through? And now I know why. You know, I can sense when other people – they’re going through something or they’re a little off that day and we’ve had, you know, individuals come in that nobody else picked up on it, but there’s just enough of that one percent shift within them that I’m like, something’s going on there and then, you know, maybe I find out later on, all their parents are going through divorce or this is happening, or you know, a loved one just found out they had cancer and I – normally it will come out throughout the session that I’m working with them. You know, I try not to pry too much, but normally you guys kind of, I can make some good money off you guys giving all your secrets away but, no. A lot comes out in those sessions because it’s beyond just the physical part. You know, I’ve heard it said, the ’80s was all “my therapists says” and now it’s “my trainer says” and it’s very true because we have a unique opportunity as physical coaches or as a boxing coach or a physical fitness professional to be able to help people beyond the physical part. Jerry: Yes, I can - Carrie: You know, [Inaudible 0:30:15] with your body.
  11. 11. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 11 of 17 Jerry: Yeah, I can speak to it because I’ve had other trainers before and I’ve been very close to them and – but I can speak to your capacity and it reminds me of my own work in working with someone. You know, the content of what I may be working with is, you know, the corpus, if you will, the body of their company. Whereas you’re working with the corpus, if you will, the body of who that person is and there’s a look, you know. It’s 7:30 in the morning and you haven’t had enough coffee, and you’re asking me to run backwards and you know, shift my hips around and move in ways that my brain isn’t wired to, and one of the things that’s happening is you’re getting me to drop into my body and experience myself, my own sense of being in a different way, which then allows some of the more difficult things to come forward. It doesn’t have to be a big, old therapy session; it’s just like two human beings coming together around that experience. Does this resonate with you? Carrie: Yes, definitely. I mean, people probably think I’m a little bit goofy or crazy because I’m very excited about what I do, but I get so excited when you guys get a combination or I see that little piece of growth; and that’s another reason why I love coaching because I have a chance to see personal growth, physical growth. I mean, I had clients that I had been working with for seven years, and been through a big portion, a big chunk of, you know, life changes for them and I had gotten to see so much positive growth and it’s exciting. It’s so exciting. But especially I mean, Ali, I was telling you this morning now does like, seven-punch combination of physical movement then comes back within another three-punch combination and [Inaudible 0:32:05] maybe 8 out of 10 of them, she doesn’t land perfectly, but those 2 out of 10 that she lands perfectly, it’s exciting for me because that’s a big deal to do those. Jerry: Right. Carrie: And then for her to start to see that growth and take ownership of it. Jerry: Right, right. I hear you. So you know, I – what I’m seeing and I’m seeing a more complete picture is, why this company, this enterprise is so important to you and Kirsten, it’s about healing the past, you know, and I relate to this. It’s about – it’s about in effect, reaching back in time and saving that wounded version of you over and over again, you know and this is a very powerful Buddhist concept which I think you innately feel, which is that first of all, we all have the capacity to be Buddhists ourselves. We just do. Just as we all have the capacity to be leaders, we all have the capacity to be athletes, we all have the capacity to be coaches. But there’s also this notion that the way we overcome our own internal dukha, existential suffering, is to focus on someone else’s needs and it’s that it’s such a profoundly different way of thinking about healing ourselves. “Oh, I heal myself by putting my energy into the other person.” Does this resonate with you? Carrie: Yeah. And I would also say, it’s not just saving that, you know, talking about Carrie Barry, but it’s also not wasting it, or wasting her time or her experience;
  12. 12. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 12 of 17 because that experience was valuable to her. You know, she learned a lot through that and I don’t want to waste what I was taught, whether I – you know, go back – if I could change it, would I change it? No. You know, are there some days when I think, well what would it have been like to have been, you know, that all- American, two-parent family, who would I have been then? I wonder about it but I wouldn’t change it because I love who I am. I can truly say that today. I couldn’t have said that 10 years ago so, I don’t want to waste that experience because now I can help a kid and I can relate to that kid when, you know, their family, they’re having that turmoil or we see that, you know, one of my kids, he’s on a good path, everything’s going right for him, he’s making some positive changes, but I start to see him kind of, almost on that cusp of self-sabotage and I can recognize that and be like, look, you deserve this. You know, you deserve the good that’s happening to you because we – sometimes we’ll shut that down you know, when we see others around us aren’t experiencing that good. So being able to recognize that and share that and hope that I can help somebody else through a rough patch. Jerry: You know, I really, really relate to the notion of not wasting what has happened to you and you know, if I can share with you a bit, many year ago, seven years ago now, I did a vision quest. I did a water-only fast in the desert of Utah and in that fast, one of the things that came to me, and there were a lot of things that came to me, and by the way, there were no drugs involved, but one of the things that came to me was a poem. And I won’t bore the audience with the whole poem, but in the poem – the poem was called ‘Listen’ and there was a line in there which is that me speaking to myself saying, “You were not born only to lament your pain. You were born to grow. Go and listen. Listening is an act of love.” And I, you know, when you were talking about not wasting the lessons and – or the experiences, the good and the bad, the totality that created, as you said it so beautifully, the fabric of who you are, I was reminded of that own calling to myself which said, “Okay so you have a rough upbringing, what are you going to do about it?” Right, you relate to that? Carrie: Definitely. Jerry: Right, see Brooklyn and Detroit get along. Carrie: Yeah, we’re going great. Jerry: We know. Carrie: We’ve got the grit and we know it’s a – we’re stoic, you know, we don’t wallow in ourselves, you find a way to buckle down and get through it. You know, and you help somebody else if you can on the way. Jerry: Right, but if I can, not by not being vulnerable, that is not by shutting down because there’s a misunderstanding of that stoical, grit-like nature which is that I don’t feel.
  13. 13. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 13 of 17 Carrie: No, no [Crosstalk] yeah. Jerry: You feel even more deeply but you feel and you act anyway. Carrie: Yeah, exactly. That’s, you know, Cus D’Amato talks about, you know, the hero and the coward and they both feel the same. Jerry: And this was Mike Tyson’s coach. Carrie: Yes, Mike Tyson’s. Cus D’Amato, he’s a coach that you know, passed away, but he was a coach that I personally look up to as you know, kind of – I have a handful of coaches I really kind of, look to. And he talks about, you know, the difference between the hero and the coward is what they do, not how they feel. And people remember you by what you do, not how you feel. So you’ve really kind of, taught Mike that and a lot of people look at Mike and like, oh, he was crazy, he was tough, he was this, he was that. No, he was scared. He was a scared young man, he was a scared older man and even today but it was all about what he did and that’s what you remember him by. Jerry: I hear you. So, let’s jump to the company for a moment. Tell me where you guys are and you know, we’ve spoken a little bit about some of the challenges now. Congratulations, 110 members. That’s a great milestone. Carrie: Oh, that’s great. Yeah we’re excited. You know, the whole social media wouldn’t even hit a 1000 likes on Facebook and like, I don’t know what that means. It’s a number, but it must mean something was happening good. That will be, you know, we were really lucky the way everything worked out. We’ve bootstrapped and we got some free rent, all that kind of stuff, and we’ve been able to be in the black every single month since we opened. We were able to bring on another coach, Coach Khumiso whom I mentioned earlier. He’s a three-time Olympian from Botswana. I might him through the IOC and you know, I’m really good at putting things out there, or writing down, you know, I’ve got a little board where I write down what I’m grateful for and what I hope to happen and I’ll be damned if some of those things that I want to happen don’t happen. I was hoping to find a coach that added diversity to our gym because you know, anybody who has been in Boulder, it’s you know, a little bit lacking in diversity and also I wanted a coach who was bilingual. Kirsten is bilingual. I aspire to learn Espanol, but I’m not there yet. Khuamiso studied in Cuba boxing and he got his college degree there. So he’s completely bilingual. Well, trilingual and he’s a wonderful addition to our coaching staff. I mean, we all are very different but we all are on the same line or the same path and you know, with the same goals, the same passions but we just approach things very differently. I mean, Khumiso is – he’s a funny guy. When we first got him here, we got him a place and he was very excited about him living there and he was like, how do you like it? And he was like, “It’s okay.” And her face was just, “What does that mean?” Like, and we had to explain to
  14. 14. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 14 of 17 him what, you know, okay here isn’t what okay is in Botswana and we’re actually going to get a shirt made for The Corner that – and on the back its going to be, ‘It’s okay’. His attitude is, if you’re okay I am okay. You know, he’s a very laid back guy. It took forever for me to find out all of his accolades and what he’s accomplished. And so continuing that growth, and you know, I would love to be able to add on another coach to our staff. I would like it to be one of our younger athletes that we can mentor up. I have a young man, Zacky who is just really stepped up. He’s only 15 now, he will be 16 in January but we got him through Diversion and he is doing amazing things in school and his growth and it’s a 180 since June. I mean, he came in and he hemmed and hawed with his mother about having to be at the gym for about six hours and that was at 9am, and at 8:30pm that night I was giving him a ride home and I’ve been him every single day and, you know, I hope within a year when he turns 17 that, you know, I’m having him teach a couple of classes and showing him, you know, you can do a lot of good in the life because he’s got a great spirit. And everybody in the gym loves him, he’s got a great personality, and you know, just like myself, he’s been through some, you know, pain in his upbringing. And I know that this type of profession, the coaching profession, the teaching profession can be very rewarding for him, and possibly help heal or put to use some of those life experiences he’s had. Jerry: So I see some of the things that you’re trying to hold onto. How will I grow the business? How do I scale? How do I make sure it continues to be a family for everybody? Right? How do I make sure that the – you have said this to me before, the quality of the experience is up to the standards. Am I naming the challenges? Carrie: Yes, exactly. I mean, [Inaudible 0:42:01] we grow, you know, now I’m at the point I’m on our membership, our paying members what really pays our bills, you know, when do I decide okay, we’re going to – we don’t do any marketing. We don’t do any advertising. You know, my viewpoint is, why would I spend that money when I can – that’s why we work with all these local non-profits because they kind of get our name out there and put the word out there for us. You know, I don’t really want to spend money on some print ad that, you know, like you said, you don’t – people have one perception of what boxing is. So to me, a print ad isn’t very useful to us because they have this one viewpoint, but a word of mouth does say something. So, by us being able to open our doors to bring all these people in, they talk about us so as we grow, I don’t really know how to stifle growth almost [Inaudible 0:42:50] and that’s kind of, I don’t want to sound arrogant or whatever, but I’m fearful of losing that small-gym feeling. I mean, I would like – Jerry: I’m going to suggest to you, because I’m a big fan of the phrase “superpower” Superpower and Kryptonite, because I’m revealing that I’m a Superman fan and the superpower here isn’t just the quality of the coaching experience. The superpower is what you’ve just been talking about all along, which is how do we create an experience where everyone is welcome, everyone has a sense of belonging, everyone comes – really in one of the most vulnerable states, I
  15. 15. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 15 of 17 remember being completely out of shape, and my first personal trainer was a guy named Immanuel and when he clapped because I completed one complete revolution with the jump rope, I thought he was making fun of me. And then when I realized that that’s what he really felt, I could relax because it was the vulnerability at me, because I was the fat kid on the playground who could not participate in sports until I discovered my own innate capability. So you know, as your coach now in this moment, what I would say to you is, honing and holding onto the sense of purpose, the sense of meaning that you have crafted, you and Kirsten have crafted in this very special place, in a sense, that’s the safeguard against the loss of quality as you grow. It should always be a place where people walk in and get hugged even if they’re physically not actually being hugged. Right, because Khusumo was not going to hug people in the same way. Carrie: No. Jerry: No, I do a fist bump with Khusumo. Carrie: Yeah. I pretty much make him give me a hug. I pull him in. He knows how I am. Jerry: But it’s the same feeling. It’s the same feeling and you know, I speak not only as a coach but as a customer, right and so as you think about it, you know, one of the other things you’re going to be grappling with is – and you know, I smile because we’ve talked about this little bit, we had the same challenges at Reboot. Right, we’ve got – we’ve caught lightening in a bottle here. That’s great, and every week we’re challenged with how do we hold on to what is unique about the services that we offer, while simultaneously continuing to meet what is obviously a need in the marketplace, you know. And not every startup, not every organization is fortunate enough to that, but I think that we have something very much in common which is, as I often say, we’ve built companies built on love. Carrie: Yes and camaraderie. Jerry: That’s right. And love, family, a sense of belonging and you know, you don’t think of that when you walk into a gym, when you walk into a boxing gym but implicit in that logo, implicit in the wish to have somebody in your corner is love. Carrie: Yeah, and I – I mean my real goal, and we have it is, I love looking at – we had a great class and it’s a packed house, but it’s like it wouldn’t even matter if I was there, or any of us coaches were there, because the relationships between our athletes or our members are so strong. You know, and that’s what I want to maintain and hold onto is that those relationships, you know, are strong and people know who each other are and they love working with each other, not just with us. So those relationships are also important within our community. I’m driving that.
  16. 16. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 16 of 17 Jerry: Well you know, as a fan and as a client and as a friend, it feels to me that you know, I would just say, keep going. Keep going exactly as you’re going. You know, your innate sensibilities about what works and what doesn’t, quality of the experience is all there, and it’s beautiful. I have one last question, okay? And there’s a really famous quote that you often use and I don’t actually fully understand what it means, and you know what the quote is. “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast”. What the heck are you talking about? Carrie: So many people when they’re first trying to learn something, they rush it and you know they see what – the vision what they see on TV and going at that speed and that’s what they have to do and, no, they don’t see all the years that were behind being able to do that. So slowing something down and feeling it and then that smoothness becomes the speed. You’ll see well, maybe I’ll have you spar a couple of pros when they come but a lot of pros, I’ve sparred with them, some very talented Olympians and high-level athletes and you know, you’ll be spotting they slow everything down. But they’ll touch you. You’ll see the punch coming, it’s so smooth and so slow and you admire it and then it hits you. And that’s the – that’s the ‘slow is smooth, smooth is fast’. It’s just relaxing into the rhythm and not forcing it. Jerry: Yeah, yeah. Carrie: And trying to smooth things out. It’s like when you’re riding a motorcycle, you just flow into the turns. You don’t force the turn. Jerry: That’s beautiful. You know, I mean, the truth is, I thought I had sort of understood it because it felt very much like a Zen saying, and the truth is I think it’s brilliant advice for every single entrepreneur out there and because the fear causes us to speed up, and the truth is, if you really want to be effective and fast and land those punches, you actually have to slow down at first so that you can then get to that other place. So it’s a dance. Am I – am I getting that right? Carrie: Exactly. That was – I mean, with our growth, I didn’t rush our growth with our members about hitting any, you know, numbers. You know, because I wanted to make sure that we grew in a sense, with our coaching staff and the welcoming and us learning how to have a company and a gym. You know, that slowness created smoothness and created – and now we’re able to handle and looking back, it was fast but we didn’t feel fast because we didn’t approach it in a fast like way. We just wanted to be slow and smooth. Jerry: Well, that’s beautiful; thank you so much for being on the show with us and thank you for being my coach. Carrie: Thank you Jerry, it’s a pleasure to have the mutual relationships. You coach me too, so I really value your relationship and I’m grateful that Ali and David introduced us.
  17. 17. Reboot029_Whos_Your_Corner Page 17 of 17 Jerry: Yeah, me too, me too. ** Head over to Reboot.io/podcast. You’ll see the notes from the show as well as key quotes, guest bio information, key links, transcripts and more; and if you really value this podcast, and you have been moved by some of the things you have heard, consider coming on for an episode because you sharing your story the way we collectively make this podcast special. So, if you would be interested in coming onto this show, go to Reboot.io/podcast. [Singing] “How long till my soul gets it right? Did any human being ever reach that kind of light? I call on the resting soul of Galileo, King of night-vision, King of insight.” [End of audio 0:51:36] [End of transcript]

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