This document outlines a volunteer training session on supporting families with missing persons. It discusses exploring the concept of "missing", learning about ambiguous loss and the supports needed by families. It emphasizes listening to families, understanding their experiences with uncertainty and triggers, and providing emotional support and referrals. It also discusses the need for improved relationships between police and families, and how victim services can help families navigate systems and resources during their journey.

1. Supporting Families with
Missing Persons
For: Victim Services – VSWR
Volunteer Training Session
By: Maureen Trask
Advocate for the Missing
Mon. Nov. 14, 2022
7:00 - 9:00 PM
1

2. Session Themes
Sharing my journey of “Missing” and what families need to
support them in a meaningful way.
 Explore “Missing”
 Learn about Ambiguous Loss
 Understand the Supports Needed
 Discussion - How Can VS Help
2

3. 3
Daniel Robert Trask
Missing Nov. 3, 2011 Found May 24, 2015

4. Explore “Missing”
I will facilitate conversation to explore “Missing” and the
gaps and issues. Conversation will focus on:
4
What is a Missing Person?
(Definition)
Who goes Missing?
Where are the Missing?
When are they Found?
Why do they go Missing?
How Many go Missing?

5. Missing
Person
Myths
Missing Person Myths
Missing Persons Week, SK
Try
the Quiz
5
QUIZ: 9 things everyone should know about finding missing people., Sept. 19, 2017

6. Missing Persons Landscape
6
 S.Ca

7. National Centre for Missing Persons
and Unidentified Remains (NCMPUR)
Provides specialized investigative services including:
 national data sharing,
 sophisticated analytical support,
 liaison and coordinate, and
 develop investigation best practices.
7
Resides within the RCMP's Canadian Police Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (CPCMEC).
National Centre for Missing Persons and Unidentified Remains (NCMPUR) | Royal Canadian Mounted Police (rcmp-grc.gc.ca)
Slideshow: National Centre for Missing Persons & Unidentified Remains - ppt download (slideplayer.com)
The NCMPUR also:
 Coordinate Nat. Amber Alert for police agencies.
 Research and compile investigative best practices,
 Develop training for police officers,
 Authorizes submission of DNA for missing persons.

8. Stats - Patterns in the Data*
*Source data as reported on Canada’s Missing (Public Website), under Publications www.canadasmissing.ca
8

9. Missing Persons - Waterloo Region
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13 cases on Missing People - Waterloo Regional Police Service (wrps.on.ca)
These 2 cases are not
on WRPS, but are on
Canada's Missing |
Search results (rcmp-
grc.gc.ca)

10. Relevance of
Ambiguous Loss
10

11. What is Ambiguous Loss?
Dr. Pauline Boss, principal theorist of the concept of Ambiguous Loss
and Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder and president of Open to Hope Fdn,
discuss Ambiguous Loss at the annual Association of Death Education
and Counseling (ADEC) Conference, 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2vYyefAgZ0
11

12. What is Ambiguous Loss?
12
 A loss that occurs without “closure” or
understanding.
 Leaves a person searching for answers, thus
complicates and delays the process of grieving.
 Often results in unresolved grief, a frozen grief;
like “living in limbo”.

13. What is Ambiguous Loss?
 Traumatic Loss
 Externally Caused
 Unclear Loss
 Senseless Loss
 Lacks Closure
 Frozen Grief
 An Individual Journey
13

14. Types of Ambiguous Loss
1. Physically Absent-
Psychologically Present
2. Psychologically Absent-
Physically Present
 Adoption
 Migration
 Miscarriage and
Stillborn loss
 Missing people
 Natural disaster and
catastrophic tragedy
 Homeless?
 Addictions
 Change in Gender Identity or
Gender Expression
 Dementia and Alzheimer’s
 Mental health issues
 Separation/Divorce
 Traumatic brain injury or coma
 There is no verification of death.
 There is no certainty that the person will come back.
14

15. Manage the contradictions
Take two opposing ideas, make into one
 I am both sad - and still happy
 I am both alone - and still connected
 I am both powerless - and still empowered
 I am both frozen - and still transforming
 I am both doubtful - and still hopeful
 I am both burdened - and still grateful
 Daniel is both gone - and still here
15

16. Ambiguous Loss differs from
traditional loss
Traditional Loss Ambiguous Loss
Some knowledge and
understanding from society and
western culture
Lack of knowledge about what
ambiguous loss is and its effects
Some services/supports available Tremendous lack of services and
supports
Seen as “normal” because
everyone at some point in their life
has a loved one that dies
Seen as “not normal”,
“complicated grief”, and not
affecting the mass majority
Spiritual/belief teachings exist that
speak to grief and loss related to
death
No spiritual/belief teachings speak
on ambiguous loss
Mourn the loss after the death Cannot mourn because no defined
death to mourn 16

17. Ambiguous Loss differs from
traditional loss
Traditional Loss Ambiguous Loss
Customary rituals that allow for
closure
Symbolic rituals that ordinarily
support a loss do not exist.
Some tolerance to the loss that
results from a death.
Co-workers, peers, and society
are less likely to tolerate
ambiguity.
The loss as a result of a death is
legitimized by society.
Ambiguous loss is not legitimized
by society.
17

18. Effects of Ambiguous Loss
 Emotional rollercoaster and physical stress
 Changes families, relationships, roles and identity
 Can change spiritual beliefs
 Tend to feel isolated, may withdraw or be angry
Goal:
Learn to live with the uncertainty (ambiguity).
Learn to live with and adapt to the changes that
come with the loss AND learn to live with the
ambiguity by developing meaning. (Boss, 1999)
Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: learning to live with unresolved grief. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press 18

19. How to ease its effects
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Guidelines for resiliency while having to live
with Ambiguous Loss: (Boss, 1999)
1. Find Meaning (look at values, beliefs, traditions)
2. Accept Uncertainty (manage the contradictions –
make 2 opposing ideas into 1)
3. Reconstruct Identity (forced to change roles)
4. Normalize Ambivalence (as the new norm)
5. Revisit Attachment (celebrate the missing and mourn the changes)
6. Discover Hope (look at strengths, making it with the pain)

20. Why does it matter?
20
Ambiguous Loss will:
 Freeze the grief process (complicated grief)
 Paralyze couple and family functioning
 Prevent “closure” but,
“closure” is a myth
(Need answers for Resolution)
 Families can name it
(Ambiguous Loss)
 Families need support
(I’m not crazy, it’s the situation)

21. A Poem by Tom M. Brown
21
When Someone You Love Goes Missing
https://wenswritings.wordpress.com/when-someone-you-loves-goes-missing-by-tom-m-brown/

22. Family Experience
22

23. What do Families Need?
 Be heard and believed
 Know what to expect of self and others
 Feel safe and connected, with trust
 Understand the systems and resources
 Minimize the emotional roller coaster
 Take care of self first, find balance
 Cope in healthy ways, reduce stress
 Strive to maintain Hope, build Resiliency
23

24. Services (Support)
Support looks different to everyone
24
* Someone to really listen
* Being present
* Just being there
were by far the most popular
ways to support someone.
Tips for Supporting Those Coping with the
Disappearance of a Loved One by Cindy S.

25. Info for Families
25
OPP Orillia, ON (Mail Code 4220 2018) VS Waterloo Region, ON (2015)

26. 26

27. Specialized Victim Services –
Family Information Liaison Units (FILUs)
27
Specialized Victim Services for the Families of Missing and Murdered
Aboriginal Women: An Overview of Scope, Reach and Impact
(justice.gc.ca)
By Katie Scrim and Naomi Giff-MacKinnon
Canada FILUs: Family Information Liaison Units
(justice.gc.ca)
Ontario FILUs: Toronto, Sudbury, Sioux Lookout, Thunder
Bay
Support for Families of Missing and Murdered Indigenous
Women and Girls - Ministry of the Attorney General (gov.on.ca)
If you do not live in one of those cities, call 1-844-888-8610 to arrange for FILU staff
to travel to your location.

28. AFP Supporting those who
are left behind
28
© Commonwealth of Australia 2014 AFP Australian Federal Police,
National Missing Persons Coordination Centre, Project Officer Sarah Wayland
A Support Framework

29. AFP Updated Support Framework
29
© Commonwealth of Australia 2014 AFP Australian Federal Police,
National Missing Persons Coordination Centre, Project Officer Sarah Wayland, Mar. 4, 2019
A Support Framework

30. * Framework – Working
with those left behind
5 themes for working specifically with families
of missing persons:
1. Reanimation: move past “frozen”
2. A celebration so far: respond to the loss
3. The trauma timeline: explore the impact
4. A protected place: safe place of pain
5. Opportunities for growth: living with loss
© Commonwealth of Australia 2014 AFP Australian Federal Police,
National Missing Persons Coordination Centre, Project Officer Sarah Wayland 30

31. Framework
1. Reanimation
Move past “frozen”
 Help families with their
sense of being frozen
to the time of their loved
one's disappearance
 Assist families to move
from their sense of
feeling “stuck”.
31

32. Framework
2. A celebration so far
Respond to the loss
 Acknowledge and honour the family's relationship
with the missing person
 Facilitate families to find
an opportunity to respond
to the current loss of their
loved one.
32

33. Framework
3. The Trauma Timeline
Explore the impact
of the disappearance
as well as the
accumulated traumas
families may have
faced prior to their
loved one going
missing.
33

34. The Trauma Timeline
34
© Commonwealth of Australia 2014 AFP Australian Federal Police,
National Missing Persons Coordination Centre, Project Officer Sarah Wayland

35. Triggers and Trauma
 “Having a missing loved one is the most painful
loss of all.” (Dr. Pauline Boss, 1999)
 The *Trauma Timeline is an important aspect when
assessing the implications of the loss.
 Triggers can affect the emotional ups and downs:
 News, tips, leads or items found, but no physical evidence
 Possible sightings or remains found
 Significant dates, events, songs, smells, places, things
 Other Missing Person stories and cases
 Officer or Jurisdiction changes
* Supporting those who are left behind, Australian Federal Police (Sarah Wayland), 2007 35

36. Framework
4. A protected place
Safe place of pain
 Co-construct a space where families can
acknowledge the
pain of not knowing
while still finding
ways to live life.
36

37. Framework
5. Opportunities for growth
Living with ambiguous loss
 Explore ways in which families can live
with their loss,
rather than being
consumed by it.
37

38. Supports Needed
 Crisis Intervention
 Help with urgent practical matters
 Navigate the systems and resources
 Arrange and link to other services/resources
 Provide Emotional Support and Safe Space
 Demonstrate Compassion, Kindness,
Genuine Listening, Being Present
 + Understand Ambiguous Loss
38

39. Your Current Role
Can Help Families
 Be the needed point of contact for families
 Offer peace of mind for families that you are
there for them, especially when new triggers
 Help enable families to navigate through
their journey of uncertainty; the systems
 Support families, but don’t try to advise on
investigation or searches on behalf of Police
 Listen - Empathize - Empower - Be Present 39

40. What to Avoid as a
Family Support
 Supporting the person from a grief
approach (like a traditional death)
 Focusing on advice or assumed cause
 Assuming every situation is the same
 Thinking newfound Hope remains
 Asking “How does that make you feel?”
 Using the word “Closure”
40

41. Building Positive Relations
with Police - A Family Perspective
 Need to be taken seriously in the first instance –
Families know their loved one, take the report
 Eliminate lifestyle bias and assumptions about the
disappearance – Investigate all cases equally
 Keep us in the loop with ongoing communications
– Agreement on frequency of contact
 Help us make sense of the entire situation –
Inform families of process, roles and options
41

42. How Police Can Help –
to Improve Relationship with Families
 Take the Missing Persons Report
 Make a Communication Agreement with family contacts
 Conduct consistent, transparent Missing Person Practises
 Have a point of contact for Investigations and Searches
 Inform families of Victim Services/other Support Services
 Provide Reporting on Missing Persons
(as part of Annual Statistics/Trends)
 Understand the uncertainty and triggers families face
42

43. There is no “Closure”
43

44. There is no “Closure”
44
Dec. 2021
Guidance for beginning to
cope with this lingering
distress, and even learn
how this time of pandemic
has taught us to tolerate
ambiguity, build resilience,
and emerge from crises
stronger than we were
before.

45. Recap
 Ambiguous Loss is an uncertain loss.
 Triggers can impact the journey (traumatic).
 Each situation is unique and individual.
 It’s about finding meaning and hope.
 “Closure” is a myth, families want equal treatment
to find answers and get “Resolution”.
 Relationship with Police is the most important one.
 Victim Services can provide the outreach support,
“navigating” and referrals that families need.
45

46. VSWR: provides immediate crisis intervention, emotional
support and referrals to individuals affected by crime and
tragic circumstances.
Our objective is to:
• Lessen the impact of crime [and tragic circumstances?]
• Assist victims in accessing appropriate services
• Provide education
• Promote community wellness
Any moments, thoughts or questions?
46
Discussion

47. Investigation Roadblock
Cleared for Police
Police were limited in their ability to investigate reports of missing
persons when there was no evidence of criminal activity.
Missing Persons legislation gives police a tool to respond to
missing persons investigations by allowing them access to
personal information (health, banking, employment, social
media, phone, travel, vehicle records) and locations to search
while balancing considerations for an individual’s privacy.
In Ontario, the Missing Persons Act went into effect on July 1, 2019
(5 year effort) with regulations for process, annual reporting, and
a full review after 5 years in use (July 2024).
A “Missing Persons Act” is still needed in Quebec, New Brunswick, PEI, NWT and Nunavut.
47

48. Canada’s Missing Persons Acts
48
July 2019, Ontario Gov. Provides Police More Tools to Find Missing Persons Newsroom
No Activity - 4 In Progress - 3 Enacted - 6 as of Oct. 27, 2022

49. Legislative/Policy Advocacy
 National Missing Persons Framework
 National Missing Persons Day (Month) in Canada
 Missing Person Status for Guardianship or
Proof of Death
 No Body, No Parole Legislation (Bill C-437)
 Compensation for Families (those left behind)
 Support/Bill of Rights/Ombudsperson for Families
 Support/Ombudsperson for the Missing and returned
 Tools, guides and kits to help family members and
also for those who are missing or returned.
 Strategies/Education to prevent from going missing.
49

50. Missing Persons -
Recommendations
50
Key Finding:
Canada needs a
National Missing
Persons Framework for
 Consistency
 Transparency
 Accountability
 Fairness and
 Equality.
Report Link: https://www.slideshare.net/trasker/missing-persons-recommendations

51. 51

52. Missing Persons Framework
Key Areas
 PREVENT: To introduce preventive measures to reduce the
number of missing persons occurrences.
 RESPOND: To respond consistently and appropriately to missing
persons occurrences.
 SUPPORT: To provide the best possible support to both missing
people and their families.
 PROTECT: To protect vulnerable missing people and reduce the
risks of harm.
New technology is a factor that can help advance all key areas of the
Framework.
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53. What I Have Learned
53
Hope
Strength
Courage
Patience
Perseverance
Love
Daniel has taught me more than I could ever have learned about:

54. From me to each of you:
54
Maureen Trask trasker@rogers.com
Links to the Presentation and Resource Materials will be emailed.