- Maureen Trask and Brenda Richard will present on peer support for families of missing persons and ambiguous loss. - Maureen's son Daniel went missing in 2011 and was found in 2015, leading her to seek peer support. She now co-facilitates a peer support group for families of the missing. - Ambiguous loss describes the situation of a missing loved one, where their presence or absence cannot be verified, causing limbo and lack of closure. It differs from traditional grief where the loss is clearly defined. Support and understanding of ambiguous loss helps families cope.

1. Missing Persons –
Peer Support and More
Bereavement Ontario Network (BON)
Fireside Chat
Presented by: Maureen Trask and
Brenda Richard
On: Tues. March 21, 2023
At: 1:00 - 2:00 PM
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2. Outline
Introduce Self Help and Peer
Support at CMHAWW
Discuss the Peer Support Group
for Families of the Missing
Q&A about anything related to
the issue of Missing
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3. Daniel Robert Trask
Missing Nov. 3, 2011 Found May 24, 2015
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4. My Journey to Peer Support
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Bringing Families Together “Music for the Missing”, Dec. 2011
Calling on Grief and Loss Experts
Bereaved Families of Ontario (BFO), Nov. 2012
Bereavement Ontario Network (BON), Jan. 2013
BON Conf, Ambiguous Loss presentation, Oct. 2013 and 2021
BFO Breakfast Networking Group, Oct. 2013
Community Counselling Agencies, Sept. 2013
8 Month Support Group Cardinal Counselling, Nov. 2012-June 11, 2013
Peer Support for Families with Missing Loved Ones (Missing Persons)
Brenda Richard, CSW CPS, Self Help & Peer Support Facilitator at CMHA Waterloo Wellington

5. About
Self Help and
Peer Support
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6. “Peer support is
a supportive
relationship
between people
who have a lived
experience in
common”
(Mental Health Commission of Canada, 2013)
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What is Peer Support?

7. What is Peer
Support?
Dec 2015 – Maureen approached Self Help,
CMHAWW
Jan 2016 – Began hosting an onsite peer
support group for families of the missing
2020 –Began hosting a virtual peer support
group for families of the missing

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9. What is Ambiguous Loss?
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10. Ambiguous Loss Explained
Dr. Pauline Boss, principal theorist of the concept of Ambiguous Loss
and Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder and president of Open to Hope
Foundation, discuss Ambiguous Loss at the annual Association of
Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) Conference, 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2vYyefAgZ0
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11. Ambiguous Loss Aspects
 Uncertain/unclear Loss
 Can be a Traumatic Loss
 Externally Caused
 Lacks Closure / Understanding
 Frozen Grief / Being Stuck in Limbo
 A Unique Individual Journey
 Families need support (someone to listen)
 It’s about finding meaning and hope
 Balance and self-care are necessary
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12. Types of Ambiguous Loss
1. Physically Absent-
Psychologically Present
2. Psychologically Absent-
Physically Present
 Adoption
 Migration
 Miscarriage and stillborn loss
 Missing person
 Natural disaster and
catastrophic tragedy
 Addictions
 Dementia and Alzheimer’s
 Mental health issues
 Separation/Divorce
 Traumatic brain injury or coma
 There is no verification of death.
 There is no certainty that the person will come back.
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13. Ambiguous Loss differs
from Traditional Loss
Traditional Loss Ambiguous Loss
Knowledge and understanding from
society and western culture
Lack of knowledge about what
ambiguous loss is and its effects
Services/supports available - grief
counsellors/professionals
Lack of services and supports – lack
of support specialists
Seen as “normal” - you have/will
experience a loved one who dies
Seen as “not normal” and affecting the
minority
Spiritual/belief teachings exist to
speak to death, mourning & rituals
No spiritual/belief teachings of
ambiguous loss -no defined death.
The loss as a result of a death is
legitimized by society
Ambiguous loss is not legitimized by
society
Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief.
Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
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14. Needs of Families
 Be heard, believed, and supported
 Be safe and connected, with trust
 Understand the systems and processes
 Know what to expect of self and others
 Minimize the emotional roller coaster
 Take care of self first, find balance
 Cope in healthy ways, reduce stress
 Strive to maintain Hope, build Resiliency
 Access to timely information and resources
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15. What to Avoid
Guidance for Facilitators
 Supporting the person from a grief
perspective (like a death)
 Focusing on advice or assumed cause
 Assuming every situation is the same
 Asking “How does that make you feel”
 Trying to “fix” problems
 Thinking newfound Hope remains
 Using the word “Closure”
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16. The Myth of “Closure”
“Guidance for beginning
to cope with this lingering
distress, and even learn
how this time of pandemic
has taught us to
tolerate ambiguity,
build resilience, and
emerge from crises
stronger than we were before.
Released Dec. 2021
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17. What Helped Me
 Learning about Ambiguous Loss
 Sharing my story & ask “What would Daniel want?”
 Knowing I’m not “Crazy”, it’s the Situation!
 Connection through the Peer Support Group
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18. From both of us to each of you:
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Maureen Trask: trasker@rogers.com
Brenda Richard: brichard@cmhaww.ca
cmhawwselfhelp.ca
Links to the Presentation and Resource Materials will be emailed.
“Thanks”