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Conversation about "Missing", Oct. 14, 2020
1. Conversation about “Missing”
Shining a Light - Seeking Advice
For: Office for Victims of Crime (OVC),
Board of Directors
By: Maureen Trask
On: Wed. Oct. 14, 2020
10:30-11:30 PM
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2. Conversation Themes
I will share my lived experience and that of other families
whom I’ve come to know (the club no one wants to be part of).
Explore “Missing”
Needs of Families
Victims vs Missing
Discussion
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4. Explore “Missing”
I will facilitate conversation to explore “Missing” and the
gaps and issues. Conversation will focus on:
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What is a Missing Person?
(Definition)
Who goes Missing?
Where are the Missing?
When are they Found?
Why do they go Missing?
How Many go Missing?
5. Stats - Patterns in the Data*
*Source data as reported on Canada’s Missing (Public Website), under Publications www.canadasmissing.ca
5A-Adult C-Children
Year
Age
Grp
Ontario
#
Ontario
Total
Canada
#
Canada
Total
Ontario
%
Canada
%
2015 A 6,513 19,413 26,080 71,368 34% 37%
C 12,900 45,288 66% 63%
2016 A 6,717 18,465 27,789 73,398 36% 38%
C 11,748 45,609 64% 62%
2017 A 7,035 18,060 30,632 77,800 39% 39%
C 11,025 47,168 61% 61%
2018 A 7,497 17,686 31,387 73,620 42% 43%
C 10,189 42,233 58% 57%
2019 A 8,082 17,849 32,752 73,177 45% 45%
C 9,767 40,425 55% 55%
5 Yr Avg A 7,169 18,294 29,728 73,873 39% 40%
C 11,126 44,145 61% 60%
6. Needs of Families
Be heard, believed, and supported
Be safe and connected, with trust
Understand the systems and resources
Know what to expect of self and others
Minimize the emotional roller coaster
Take care of self first, find balance
Cope in healthy ways, reduce stress
Strive to maintain Hope, build Resiliency
Access to timely information and resources
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7. What is Ambiguous Loss?
Dr. Pauline Boss, principal theorist of the concept of Ambiguous Loss
and Dr. Gloria Horsley, founder and president of Open to Hope Fdn,
discuss Ambiguous Loss at the annual Association of Death Education
and Counseling (ADEC) Conference, 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2vYyefAgZ0
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8. Types of Ambiguous Loss
1. Physically Absent-
Psychologically Present
2. Psychologically Absent-
Physically Present
Adoption
Migration
Miscarriage and
stillborn loss
Missing people
Natural disaster and
catastrophic tragedy
Homeless?
Addictions
Change in Gender Identity or
Gender Expression
Dementia and Alzheimer’s
Mental health issues
Separation/Divorce
Traumatic brain injury or coma
Pandemic (COVID-19)?
There is no verification of death.
There is no certainty that the person will come back.
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9. Triggers and Trauma
“Having a missing loved one is the most painful
loss of all.” (Dr. Pauline Boss, 1999)
The *Trauma Timeline is an important aspect when
assessing the implications of the loss.
Triggers can affect the emotional ups and downs:
Possible Sightings
Remains Found
Other Missing Persons
News, tips, or leads
Items(s) found, but no physical evidence
Officer or Jurisdiction change(s)
* Supporting those who are left behind, Australian Federal Police (Sarah Wayland), 2007 9
10. Victims vs Missing
Provide advice to the Attorney General of Ontario on
victims’ issues including:
• Ways to ensure the principles set out in the Act Respecting Victims of Crime –
Victims’ Bill of Rights, 1995 (Victims’ Bill of Rights) are respected;
• The development, implementation and maintenance of provincial standards
for services for victims of crime;
• The use of the Victims’ Justice Fund to provide and improve services for
victims of crime;
• Research and education on the treatment of victims in the criminal justice
system and ways to prevent further victimization; and
• Matters of legislation and policy on the treatment of victims of crime and on
the prevention of further victimization.
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11. Victims vs Missing
I was struck by the desperate need for information, for
guidance, understanding and for support.
After victimization I really appreciated being allowed to talk at
my own pace.
Ensuring that victims are aware of the services available to
them is an important first step in helping to rebuild their lives.
I wish there was a way to rewind my life to the day before...
The strongest chain that kept me locked away was my
silence. The only key to release the chain was my voice.
No one wants to think it could happen to them...
From the OVC Website Home Page: http://www.ovc.gov.on.ca/
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12. Can Victim Services Help?
Crisis Intervention (trauma informed)
Help with urgent practical matters
“Navigate” the systems and resources
Arrange and link to other services/resources
Provide Support in a Safe Space
Demonstrate Compassion, Kindness,
Genuine Listening, Being Present
+ Understand Ambiguous Loss
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14. Legislative/Policy Advocacy
National Missing Persons Framework
National Missing Persons Month in Canada
Missing Persons Status for Guardianship or PofD
No Body, No Parole Legislation (Bill C-437)
Compensation for Families (those left behind)
Support/Bill of Rights/Ombudsperson for Families
Support/Ombudsperson for the Missing and returned
Tools, guides and kits to help family members and
also for those who are missing or returned.
Strategies/Education to prevent going missing.
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16. Missing Persons -
Recommendations
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Key Finding:
Canada needs a
National Missing
Persons Framework for
Consistency
Transparency
Accountability
Fairness and
Equality.
Report Link: https://www.slideshare.net/trasker/missing-persons-recommendations
17. Any moments or thoughts?
OVC recommend changes for Victims of Crime
but, “Missing” doesn’t always involve crime.
How can OVC help?
Who else can help?
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Discussion
18. From me to each of you:
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Maureen Trask: trasker@rogers.com
Support for Us – Families with
Missing Loved Ones (FB page)
Links to the Presentation and
Resource Materials will be emailed.
Editor's Notes
Introductions
Explore “Missing”, the 5 W’s and How.
Needs or Families – Those of families left behind. (relatives, friends etc.)
Comparing Victims to Missing – different or similar
Seeking Advice - Discussion
I’m here to share my journey of uncertainty, with having had a missing son for 3 ½ years.
Daniel had set me on this journey, which was new to me, but I a learned lots about strength, resiliency, and never giving up.
As a parent, no one prepares you for this type of loss..
Through this presentation, I will share my experience and what is needed nationally to help families with missing loved ones.
So, as a Mom left behind, living in limbo, frozen in grief, not knowing what I was grieving or how to deal with this loss. More questions than answers.
My journey was 3 ½ years. Many have endured this path on their own, for far too many years, some to their death.
What is a Missing Person? (Definition on * Wikipedia, updated Jan. 24, 2020)A missing person is a person who has disappeared and whose status as alive or dead cannot be confirmed as their location and fate are not known.
Who goes Missing? Potentially anyone
All ages: infant, child, adolescent, adult, seniors All races, sexes, locations, education, economicsAnswer Intentional or not? Crime or not? Alive or Dead? Unique situations and experiences
Where are the Missing? Potentially anywhere. All jurisdictions across Canada: Municipal, Regional, Provincial, Territorial, Federal, Ontario Provincial Police (OPP), Sûreté du Québec (SQ), RCMP, Indigenous Policing including Nishnawbe Aski Police Service (NAPS)
Other jurisdictions outside Canada: Cross border-USA, International (INTERPOL), Abroad (Consulates, Embassies, ICMP-International Commission on Missing Persons (ICMP), founded in 1996 at the G-7 Summit in Lyon, France. ICMP is the only international organization of its kind that addresses the issue of missing persons in all facets. https://www.icmp.int/
When are they “Found”? Most, within a week, older (with 6 months – 1 years), cold cases many years, decades, even after your lifetime.
Adults: 62% of missing adult reports were removed within 24 hours, while 90% were removed within a week.
Children:63% of missing children/youth reports were removed within 24 hrs, while 93% were removed within a week. * Based on Occurrence Data, 2019 Fast Fact Sheet, National Centre for Missing Persons and Unidentified Remains (NCMPUR) of RCMP
Why do they go Missing? Many reasons, but little data or research.
How Many go Missing? Next, statistics, patterns in the data 70,000 to 80,000
Probable Cause Classification: (comes from CPIC)
Abduction by Stranger, Abducted by Relative,
Parental Abduction with Custody Order. Parental Abduction without Custody Order,
Accident, Wandered Off, Runaway, Presumed Dead, Human Trafficking, Unknown, Other
What about Homeless?
2019 Fast Facts
57% of missing adult reports in 2019 involved males.
66% of adults who wandered off in 2019 were males.
In 2019, British Columbia had the highest number of missing adult reports per capita, with 257 reports per 100,000 people, followed by the Yukon with 195 reports per 100,000 people. Nunavut had the lowest, with 8 reports per 100,000 people.
2019 Children
57% of all missing children/youth reports in 2019 involved females.
74% of missing children/youth reports (male and female) in 2019 were runaways.
55% of all missing persons reports (male and female, adults and children) involve children.
In 2019, Manitoba had the highest number of missing children reports per capita, with 594 reports per 100,000 people, followed by Saskatchewan with 427 reports per 100,000 people. Prince Edward Island had the lowest, with 4 reports per 100,000 people.
Dr. Pauline Boss presented the theory of ambiguous loss in 1999 (book). She has also applied her theory by facilitating support for families in numerous disasters including 9/11, Thailand tsunami, and Malaysian air crash. When I learned of her work, I read her books and immediately connected with what I was experiencing, it made sense. It wasn’t me, it was the situation. I contacted her to learn more and determine if support material or services were available for families such as mine, very little in Canada.
This short clip is an excellent introduction to ambiguous loss.
Pauline has written subsequent books on Loss, Trauma and Resilience (2006) and Dementia (2011), building on research and clinical experience of ambiguous loss.
In Loss, Trauma, and Resilience, Boss provides the therapeutic insight and wisdom that aids mental health professionals in not "going for closure," but rather building strength and acceptance of ambiguity. What readers will find is a concrete therapeutic approach that is at once directive and open to the complex contexts in which people find meaning and discover hope in the face of ambiguous losses.
In Loving Someone Who Has Dementia, Boss builds on research and clinical experience, yet the material is presented as a conversation. She shows you a way to embrace rather than resist the ambiguity in your relationship with someone who has dementia.
Why does it matter? Ambiguous Loss will:
Freeze the grief process
Paralyze couple and family functioning
Change beliefs/values
Prevent “closure” but, “closure” is a myth (Need “the big answer”, physical evidence for Resolution)
Families can name it (Ambiguous Loss)
Families need support (Short and Long term)
Ambiguous Loss is one of the worst losses, with wild swings of emotions, ranging from extreme hopefulness to deep despair.
Due to the ambiguity surrounding the loss, individuals, couples, and families remain confused. Without comprehension, they can’t make sense of their situation to cope. Without meaning, they can’t find hope to help them move forward with their lives. They are simply stuck.
Each person deals with loss in their own way. Ambiguous loss is no different, but the feelings associated may be more intense than with other types of loss. Some different coping strategies involve writing about the situation in a private journal, keeping extremely busy to avoid thinking about the situation, while others find comfort in humor. Ambiguous loss is one of the most difficult types of loss to deal with. Many experience wild emotional swings and coping may be difficult, especially if the circumstances are never resolved. Coping strategies can help deal with loss.
Two types of ambiguous loss…
Type 2 - Psychologically absent- Physically present
The loved one is physically present however; they are cognitively and emotionally absent.
Type 1 - Physically absent- Psychologically present
The loved one is physically absent but remains psychologically present.(e.g., addictions, dementia, chronic mental illnesses: e.g., autism, depression, bi polar, schizophrenia, etc.)
Missing People (for example disappeared, kidnapped, missing in action, or mass disasters such as 9/11)
missing, disappeared, kidnapped, military deployment)
It is also possible to be experiencing both at the same time as I am with a missing son and a mother with dementia. As you can see with all of these examples there is no real goodbye to the relationship and roles, no farewell ritual, and yet someone is lost and something remains creating ambiguity.
Victim Services Training: (9)- Waterloo Region Nov. 3, 2014 and Mar. 7, 2016
Niagara Region Feb. 3, 2015
Niagara Region Families Oct. 11, 2017
Wellington-Guelph Nov. 7, 2017
Caledon-Dufferin - A Conversation Feb. 6, 2018
Yukon May 29, 2018
Haldimand-Norfolk-New Credit Oct. 2, 2018
Victim Assistance Services of Oxford County (VASOC) Apr. 17, 2019
Other Groups: (13)
Agencies: White Owl, Cardinal Counselling, Carizon, Interfaith, KW Counselling (5)
Bereaved Families of Ontario, Oct. 17, 2013
CMHA Wat. Region Local Agencies Awareness/Gaps Apr. 22, 2015
CMHA Wat. Region Select Agencies Training June 1, 2016
Family Day, Missing People, UK July 30, 2016
Wat. Region Bereavement Group Oct. 26, 2016
Missing Persons Workgroup, Toronto Nov. 7, 2018
New Horizons Group, Maryhill Apr. 11, 2019
London Community Teach-In Aug. 27, 2019
Self Help Peer Support and HERE 24/7 Volunteer Training,
Specialized Victim Services for the Families of Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women: An Overview of Scope, Reach and Impact Katie Scrim and Naomi Giff-MacKinnon
https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cj-jp/victim/rd8-rr8/p5.html
Missing Persons Liaison, Regina, SK
Victim Services looks to help families of Missing Persons Cope Sept. 16, 2020
https://www.cjme.com/2020/09/16/victimse28099-services-looks-to-help-families-of-missing-persons-cope/
As of Feb. 2020 “Missing Persons Acts” are still needed in Quebec, New Brunswick, PEI, NWT, Nunavut.
Bill C-437, introduced Mar. 1, 2019 by MP Dane Lloyd, Sturgeon River Parkland. (status 1st Reading).
PREVENT: To introduce preventive measures to reduce the number of missing persons occurrences.
RESPOND: To respond consistently and appropriately to missing persons occurrences.
SUPPORT: To provide the best possible support to both missing people and their families.
PROTECT: To protect vulnerable missing people and reduce the risks of harm.
New technology is a factor that can help advance all key areas of the Framework.
Who Plays a Role?
Families and their Missing Loved Ones (Victim or Survivor?)
Police (Reporting, Searches and Investigations)
Partners (SAR Teams, Private Investigators, Civilian Groups, Crime Stoppers, Coroners, Forensics, Psychics)
Media (Press Releases, Feature Coverage, Social Media)
Government (Policy, Legislation, Regulations, Funding, Inter-Ministry Committee, Minister or Oversight, Stats Canada)
Supports (Advocates, Agencies, Groups, Peers, Coworkers, Schools)
Public Health (Hospitals, Pharmacies, CMHA, Doctors)
Financial (Banks, Trusts, Employers, CRA, Telecoms)
Friends (Faith/Spiritual, Lawyers, Social Services, Peers)
Schools, Crime Prevention Councils, Experts
Why? To ensure Consistent, Transparent, Accountable, Trust, Fair, and Equitable processes, systems, supports and services. Canada needs a national Missing Persons Framework Families deserve this. Those who are Missing deserve this.
Let’s give them a voice, listen to them.
We urge the Government to recognize that focused and streamlined national services are an essential part of providing better outcomes to missing people and their families.
Policing in Ontario: six principles
Ontario is the first province in Canada to have a Declaration of Principles written into its statutes. With these principles, Ontario’s police are committed to:
Ontario Ministry of Community Safety and Correction Services (MCSCS), updated May 26, 2018
Ambiguous Loss inherently creates complicated grief. But the pathology lies in the ambiguity, not in the person whose grief is frozen. Therapeutic challenge then is not closure, but a paradoxical search for meaning in meaninglessness.
Understanding is key – providers must understand ambiguous loss to understand my experience.
Let me live my experience, understanding that the type of loss I’m experiencing will influence the type of grief I experience. (the type of loss shapes the type of grief – and the support challenge)
“Missing” is a complex, global issue (phenomenon)
Ambiguous Loss is an uncertain loss
Triggers can impact the journey (traumatic)
Each situation is unique and individual
Relationship with Police is the most important
A national Missing Persons Framework will ensure consistent, transparent and accountable processes
to achieve fairness and equality for all Missing.
My Vision: Looking through the lens of Missing, I hope for“A world where there is consistency, transparency, and accountability toquickly find missing persons and to ensure prevention measures are in play to reduce the number of occurrences.”