Writing The Research Paper A Handbook (7th ed) - Ch 8 revising the rough draft

Principles of Revision
• Principles of Revision
• Part psychological and part mechanical process
• Must learn to revise your work
• Writing should fit particular audience
• Formal research paper held to higher standard of
grammar
• Process of revision partly mechanical – will find errors
of facts, grammar, poor word usage, too much details, too
little details
• “There is no writing; there is only rewriting”

• Rereading your writing
• All revision based on repeated rereading of the first
draft
• Dedicated writers are fanatic about rereading
• One novelist claimed he revised every page 20 times
• Research paper writer should go over text a minimum of
3 times

• Revising the paper from biggest to smallest
elements
• Don’t forget the small elements too (ex. Misspelled
word)

Revising the Opening Paragraph
• Revising the opening paragraph
• Check opening paragraph to see if it is lively
enough to draw in the reader
• Check thesis to make sure it is not muddled or
vague
• Typically first sentence of first paragraph
• Read Muddled opening / rewritten version (Text pg.
124)

• Revising the introduction
• Opening paragraphs usually consist of two sections:
1.Introduction - initial sentences
• Critically important to the paper
• Entices reader to read more
• Strategies:
1. Quotation
2. Ask a question
3. Present an illustration
2.Thesis – traditionally is final sentence of paragraph

• Revising the introduction - Quotation
• Advantage of plunging into topic
• Can be well-know saying or any apt comment
• Dictionary of quotations available in reference section of
library
• Available online – use search engine
• Make sure it is applicable to topic and thesis
• Read quote from text, pg. 125

• Revising the introduction – Ask a question
• Allows you to steer the discussion in exactly the
direction you want to go
• Read quote from text, pg. 125-126

• Revising the introduction – Present an illustration
• Anecdote or examples that illustrate a point
• Start paper with a interesting illustration, and reader will
eagerly follow
• Is an effective introduction
• Read quote from text, pg. 126

• Check that your paragraphs follow the sequence of
topics in the thesis
• Topic sentences of paragraphs must follow the
same sequence as the points of the thesis
• If thesis announces it will cover a, b, and c, topic
sentences must appear in same sequence
• Read example in text pg. 127 (what not to do)

• Revising the body paragraphs
• Body paragraphs – middle of the paper where
the argument is thickest
• Don’t make paragraphs too dense and long as to
choke reader with details
• Better to organize in shorter paragraphs
• Read example, text pg. 127-128

• Check paragraph transitions
• Chapter 7 – discussed techniques of ensuring smooth
transitions between paragraphs
• Essay is like a train
• Individual paragraphs are separate boxcars of
meaning
• Linked together by locomotion of common theme,
idea, or argument
• Achieve this by use of transitional
markers and sentences

Revising Sentences for Variety and
Style
• Variety  mixture, that is, not monotonous
• Style  not as easy to pinpoint
• Is conspicuous in its absence, but subtle in its
presence
• Passage that monotonously uses the same kind of
sentence over and over is boring, and without style
• Do not begin/end more than two sentences in a row with
the same word
• Read example, text pg. 129

Style
• Summary of ways to vary sentences:
• Learn to juxtapose short and long sentences
• Learn to subordinate
• Lean parallel constructions
• Read examples, text pg. 129-130

Style
• Revise sentences to use the active voice
• Verbs have two voices:
1. Active Voice: “Jim wrote those letters”
2. Passive Voice: “Those letters were written by Jim”
• Read text examples, pg. 131

Revising sentences for variety and
style
• Three exceptions call for the passive voice
1. Occasional change of pace
2. For the sake of focus
3. To avoid sexism
See/read text example, pg. 131

style
• Revise to use an appropriate point of view
• First-person point of view
• Objective/third-person point of view
• In the past, instructors insisted on objective point-
of-view; More relaxed today text pg. 132
• Rule of thumb: Use the first-person point of view only for
expressing personal comments, judgments, or experiences,
otherwise use third-person
• Read text example pg. 132-133

style
• Revise sexist language
• Watch for language that reflects the values and biases of a male
dominated society (ex. His, He)
• Publishers encourage sex-neutral nouns and pronouns (ex.
Their, thon (not widely used))
• Some writers alternate between he and she not the best
solution
• Can use passive voice to hide subject’s gender
• Read text examples pg.’s 133-134

Revising Words: Diction
• Revising Words: Diction: Word choice and usage
• Bigger is not always better
• Use words for their:
• Exactness
• Appropriateness
• Accuracy
• Read example, text, pg. 134

• Revise Diction for accuracy and exactness
• Best writing is concise and to the point
• Uses vocabulary appropriate to the subject
• Don’t be vague or fuzzy
• Use right technical terms and details when
necessary
• Use as many words as you need to make point – no
more no less

• Revise the overuse of phrases for subjects
instead of single nouns
• Heavy use of long phrases is found in bureaucratic
writing
• Are hard to read because they uses phrases instead of
single nouns as subjects

• Revise redundant expressions
• Redundant expressions: unnecessary words used to
repeat what has already been said
• Read examples, text pg. 137

• Revise meaningless words and phrases
• Meaningless words and phrases used as fillers will
blur a style

• Revise snobbish diction
• Words used not to clarify but to impress
• Replace with common equivalent results in sharper
and less pompous style
• Read paper aloud to identify pompous language

Rules for Writers. Not.
• Fun list of revisions writers most often make
in their work
• Use these rules as a guide in revising your
paper

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences
with
3. .And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old
hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration
7. Be more or less specific
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are
(usually) unnecessary
9. Also, too, never, use repetitive redundancies
10. No sentence fragments

11.Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t
be used
12.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos
13.Do no be redundant; do not use more words
than necessary; it is highly superfluous
14.One should NEVER generalize
15. Don’t use double negatives

16.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a
snake
19.The passive voice should never be used
20.Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
Parenthetical words however should be
enclosed in commas.

21.Never use a big words when a diminutive one
would suffice
22.DO NOT use exclamation point and all caps to
emphasize!!!
23.Use words correctly, irregardless of how
others use them
24.Understatement is always the absolute best
way to put forth earth-shaking ideas

25.Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and
omit it when its not needed
26.If you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist
hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use
it correctly
27.Puns are for children, not groan readers
28.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid
colloquialisms

29.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be
derailed
30.Who needs rhetorical questions?
31.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than
understatement
32. Do not put statements in the negative form
33.A writer must not shift your point of view

34.Place pronouns as close as possible, especially
in long sentences of ten or more words, to the
their antecedents
35.Writing carefully, dangling participles must be
avoided
36.If any word is improper at the end of a
sentence, a linking verb is
37.Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors

38.Avoid trendy locutions that sounds flaky
39.Everyone should be careful to use a singular
pronoun with singular nouns in their writing
40.Always pick on the correct idiom
41.The adverb always follows the verb
42.Be careful to use the rite homonym
43.Proofread carefully to see if you .. any words
out

Writing The Research Paper A Handbook (7th ed) - Ch 8 revising the rough draft

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