RELATIONSHIPS 101 - A Primer on 'Dyadics' - The IDEAL MARRIAGE.

1. Liberal Arts & Humanities
Relationships 101Relationships 101
The Equally Yoked versus Unequally Yoked
Truth
equality*
Abiding in
social mores
Moral choice
Joy/enjoyment
Lies
inequality*
Violation of
social mores
Perverse humor
Fun/funniness**
“Twisted”“Straight”
*false equality
**hysteria
*true equality
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2. DisclaimerDisclaimer
• This material may be quoted for educational
projects – i.e., graduate students, clinical
researchers, and post-doctorate professionals
• All quotations here within are actually either
direct or paraphrased quotes from personal
interviews, public lectures, or: formal clinical
research journals or mass media publications.
• So therefore, the use of any quotations here
within is understood and therefore may be used
for educational purposes in: counseling
practicums, social psychology research,
supervised clinical psychiatry and psychotherapy.

3. Liberal Arts & Humanities
““Equally Yoked”Equally Yoked”
“Equally Yoked” (also, equallyoked) is
pronounced.. …“Eek quel ee-yoak‘d” and
is when a (heterosexual) couple –
- recognize, related to, identify with, believe in,
bonds with, and marries one other purposefully
and is of the same (or very nearly the same)
‘Civil Identity.’1
Social Psychology Research: Reference Couple Indices

4. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“Civil Identity1”
- Ethnicity:
- Politics:
- Religion:
- Race:
- Color:
- Age:
- Sex: FemaleFemale
- Sexual
(pleasure
preference)
Orientation:
- Marital
status:
“Civil Identity” is actually a unique mosaic of one’s present: Ethnicity, Political Party, Race, Color,
Religion, Disability, Sex, Sexual (Pleasure Preference) Orientation, Marital Status, Family Status, …..
- Ethnicity:
- Politics:
- Religion:
- Race:
- Color:
- Age:
- Sex: MaleMale
- Sexual
(pleasure
preference)
Orientation:
- Marital
status:
“Civil Identity2”

5. Liberal Arts & Humanities
Clinical PerspectivesClinical Perspectives
• “An equally-yoked relationship is born when
both ‘civil identities’ of the couple are matched,
not mismatched.”
• “A couple is considered equally yoked when
both individuals have a civil identity that is the
same or at least fairly equal.”
• “The equallyoked couple may have very similar
or exactly the same civil identities.”
- Marriage and Family Therapy
- Social Psychology Research:
Reference Couple Indices
- Sociology 101

6. Rate* the Importance of:
Physical
Attraction?
Beliefs
about
God?
Future
Plans?
Financial
Wealth?
*Rate: the importance of each issue in your Relationship. Rate 0 - 10
Insignificant=0, Low 1-2, Mod 3-6, High 7-10
Intellect
Quotient?
Emotional
Quotient?
Equally
Yoked?
Rated #1Rated #1
PreliminaryPreliminary
results ofresults of
Survey1Survey1
PreliminaryPreliminary
results ofresults of
Survey2Survey2
Rated the HighestRated the Highest
Survey1 Survey2
Beliefs
about
God?
On Campus Take Home*
Equally
Yoked?
+/- 0.99%
n=35 n=51
+/- 0.99%
*may be hard-copy or on-line survey
Spring Semester
2001
Fall Semester
2002
2001-2002Social Psychology: Surveys

7. Liberal Arts & Humanities
Personal Rights in a RelationshipPersonal Rights in a Relationship
• Individuals who are
considered to be an
equallyokedtarian
have personal rights
- just as anyone else
does in society.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

8. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…to refuse…”to refuse…”
THE RIGHT to
refuse to be in or
interact in an
‘unequally
yoked’ situation
… concerning an
unequally yoked
relationship
without having to
feel guilty or
selfish.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

9. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…feelings…”feelings…”
THE RIGHT to
express personal
feelings about an
‘unequally yoked’
situation …or a
relationship
including anger,
as long as there is
no violation of the
rights of the
violator of the
social mores.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

10. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…personal interest..”personal interest..”
THE RIGHT to
pursue and
achieve an
‘equally yoked’
relationship …as
an area of
personal interest
or life goal.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

11. Liberal Arts & Humanities
THE RIGHT to
have personal
needs met within
an ‘equally yoked’
relationship …as
important as the
needs of any one
else in society.
“…“…needs…”needs…”
EquallyokedEquallyoked

12. Liberal Arts & Humanities
THE RIGHT to
decide to be with
which individual
who fulfills the true
definition of a
‘equally yoked’
relationship …to
be with in
whatever activities
that will fulfill a
personal need.
“…“…to decide…”to decide…”
EquallyokedEquallyoked

13. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…to correct…”to correct…”
THE RIGHT to
correct a mistake
made in
choosing a
dating or casual
relationship, …
and if other than
‘equally yoked’
be responsible
for the outcome
in society.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

14. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…to seek…”to seek…”
THE RIGHT to be
an independent
individual with a
unique ‘civil
identity’ …in
whatever
moral/ethical way
possible …to
seek an ‘equally
yoked’
relationship.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

15. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…any situation…”any situation…”
THE RIGHT to be
treated respectfully
in any situation
while only seeking
whether it is other
than ‘equally
yoked’ or actually
while in an ‘equally
yoked’ relationship.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

16. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…be positive…”be positive…”
THE RIGHT to be
positive, cooperative,
and giving – and
reciprocate …in
pursuing an ‘equally
yoked’ relationship
and not be taken
over advantage of in
society.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

17. Liberal Arts & Humanities
“…“…be safe…”be safe…”
THE RIGHT to
be safe …in an
‘unequally
yoked’ situation
or any other
situation in
society.
EquallyokedEquallyoked

18. 18
Thank You
Copyright:2002-Published with PermissionCopyright:2002-Published with Permission
Relationships 101Relationships 101
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