The Coach's Casebook: Mastering the Twelve Traits that Trap Us
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Unharnessed, our strengths can become our weaknesses. Our best traits can become our traps. Kim Morgan’s recently published book, The Coach’s Casebook, explores the twelve common traits that can derail clients and limit their potential. Unsurprisingly, these are also the traits that can derail coaches in their work. This presentation, originally given at a Coaching Connections meeting in September 2015, addresses these traits through a coaching supervision lens.
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The Coach's Casebook: Mastering the Twelve Traits that Trap Us
- 1. KIM MORGAN kim@barefootcoaching.co.uk @barefootcoaches the coach’s casebook: a supervision session
- 2. aims for today DISCUSS CONSIDER ACQUIRE the twelve traits addressed in The Coach’s Casebook how these traits can impact on your coaching clients and on your coaching practice a coaching framework to bring these traits back into balance
- 3. perfectionismpeoplepleasing ostrich syndrome goingtoexcess impostor syndrome coping with loss searching for fulfilment driven by fear fierce independence cynicism performance anxiety procrastination
- 4. why I wrote the coach’s casebook 1. To overcome a cocktail of: PEOPLE PLEASING PROCRASTINATION IMPOSTOR SYNDROME PERFECTIONISM
- 5. 2. To address frequently presenting issues in my coaching practice: “Which models to use when and with what/whom?” “How do I explain coaching to buyers?” Normalisation works! Who we are is how we coach
- 6. “THE DESIRABLE MIDDLE BETWEEN TWO EXTREMES, ONE OF EXCESS AND THE OTHER OF DEFICIENCY.” ARISTOTLE
- 7. The idea that we have a range of behaviours available to us and that we just need to bring them into balance is less stigmatising than many existing diagnostics.
- 8. “WE ARE ALL ORDINARY. WE ARE ALL BORING. WE ARE ALL SPECTACULAR. WE ARE ALL SHY. WE ARE ALL BOLD. WE ARE ALL HEROES. WE ARE ALL HELPLESS. IT JUST DEPENDS ON THE DAY.” BRAD MELTZER
- 10. favourite coach de-railers PEOPLE PLEASING PERFECTIONISM COPING WITH LOSS IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
- 11. performance hindering behaviours INABILITY TO DELEGATE / PRIORITIZE OVER EAGERNESS TO PLEASE POOR JUDGEMENT REACTIVE NOT PROACTIVE OVERRIDING CHARACTER FLAW PERFECTIONISM LOW SELF-ESTEEM
- 12. to please is a disease Constantly suppressing own needs Never angry - always agreeing Constantly serving others Avoiding conflict Confused boundaries Don’t know own mind EXHAUSTION STRESS NO TIME LOSS OF SELF DAMAGE TO HEALTH DISHONEST LET OTHERS DOWN TARGET OF MANIPULATION
- 13. perfectionism: a double-edged sword Unrelenting standards Never satisfied Self- oriented Other- oriented/social oriented Defensive when criticized BURNOUT AVOIDANCE / PROCRASTINATION IMPOSTOR SYNDROME CRITICAL OF OTHERS MICRO-MANAGEMENT FEAR OF FAILURE DEPRESSION, SHAME AND GUILT
- 15. “THE KEY TO KEEPING YOUR BALANCE IS KNOWING WHEN YOU’VE LOST IT.”