This document discusses the 10 most common emotional needs in a relationship according to Dr. Willard Harley's book "His Needs, Her Needs". It separates the needs into "her needs" and "his needs" categories. The five needs often important to women are listed as Affection, Intimate Conversation, Honesty and Openness, Financial Support, and Family Commitment. The five needs often important to men are listed as Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship, Physical Attraction, Domestic Support, and Admiration. Each need is then defined in more detail with an example of how meeting that need makes someone feel loved.

1. His Needs, Her Needs Book
By Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr
Affection, Sex and the
10 Emotional Needs

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EMOTIONALBANK ACCOUNTS

7. 10 EMOTIONAL

8. Affection
• Affection is the expression of caring.When you are shown
affection by your partner, you feel that your partnercares about
you. You feel secure.You feel comforted.
• Affection is non-sexual.Any hug, kiss, or physical touch,
sweetnessthat is sexual in nature, or intended to lead to sex, is
not affection.
• Many mentry to show affection to their wife with sex.No. Sex is
sex.
“GUSTO KO PINAPARAMDAM MO NA MAHAL MO
AKO”

9. Sexual fulfillment
• Sex is most often associated as a
need for men.
• Many men feel cheated in a marriage
because their wife doesn’t want to
have sex often enough.
• To a man, sex is nearly as important
as the air he breathes. Without sex, a
man will feel unloved. When he feels
unloved he can do very bad things.

10. Honesty and Openness
Honesty and openness give us a sense of security. When a partner
shares their innermost thoughts and feelings, becoming vulnerable,
they give a precious gift to their partner.
• Emotional Honesty
• Historical Honesty
• Current Honesty
• Future Honesty
“GUSTO KO SINASABI MO SA AKIN ANG MGA NARARAMDAMAN
MO”

11. Physical Attraction
• It is well known that men aremore visual creatures.Yes, this
means that men tend to have the need to bearound their wife
wholooks beautifulintheireyes.
• What is physically attractive to you?
• What you find attractive, someone elsemay not. All that matters
are what you find attractive, and your partnermakes a serious
effort tolook attractive for you.

12. Intimate conversation
• Intimate conversation is personal. It reveals feelings,
concerns, cares and is often emotional.
• For those with a need for intimate conversation will fall
in love with someone who can have such a
conversation with them. They will stay in love with the
person who continues to have anintimate
conversation.
“MASAYA AKO PAG LAGI TAYONG NAG -UUSAP”

13. Recreational Companionship
• It is fun to share your preferred recreational activities
with your partner
• You may have to try several different activities before
you find oneortwo you both like. The result is that
you and your partnerwill bespending more time
together. This will betime to talk, share experiences,
and enjoy life together.
“I FEEL LOVED KAPAG SINASAMAHAN MO
AKO”

14. Domestic Support
“GUSTO KO MAAYOS AT MALINIS NA BAHAY”

15. Financial Support
• What do you expectfinancially from your
spouse?
• Do you expect yourspouse to work when you
will not beworking?
• All of these expectations need to beshared
with your partner. It is no surprise that women
often have an emotional need for financial
support.

16. Family commitment
Family commitment is the active participation in the raising of the children with their moral and
educational needs. Many women need help from the father to properly raise their children.
Some of the help includes:
• Meals together as afamily
• Attending church services together
• Playing boardgames together
• Reading tothe children at bedtime
• Teaching the children about finances
• Planning and participating in family day trips
• Playing sports with the children
"GUSTO KO LAGI KANG NAN DIYAN PARA SA AKIN AT SA MGA ANAK
NATIN”

17. Admiration
• Kind words and recognition for the efforts made
• Most often, men need admiration
• A complaint is when you might say “Honey, you said you
would take the trash out today. We’re ready to go to bed and
the trash is still in the house.”
• Criticism makes it personal. A criticism sounds like this: “You
are worthless. You promised to take the trash out and you
didn’t. Why can’t you do anything you say. You’re a liar.”
“KUNG MAHAL MO AKO DAPAT BILIB KA SA AKIN”

18. Affection (Kinahanglan ang Pagpalangga)
Sexual Fulfillment (Kinahanglan Seksual ukon pakighilawas)
Intimate Conversation (Manami/Madalom nga pagistoryahanay)
Recreational Companionship (Kaupod sa mga ginaobra o kalingawan)
Physical Attractiveness (Pisikal nga atraksyon sa hitsura kag lawason)
10 EMO TIO NAL NEEDS

19. Honesty and openness (Tapat/masaligan kag bukas sa tanan
nga bagay)
Financial Support (Suporta pinansyal)
Domestic Support (Pagbulig sa panimalay)
Family Commitment (Pangako sa pamilya)
Admiration (Paghatag sang pagtamod, respeto, unor kag
importansiya)

20. HER NEEDS
Affection
Intimate Conversation
Honesty and Openness
Financial Support
Family Commitment
HIS NEEDS
Sexual Fulfillment
Recreational Companionship
Physical Attraction
Domestic Support
Admiration